Change Your Food; Change Your Mood

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By Lisa Cossey, LCSW, February 26, 2019 –

Most of us have heard the phrase, “You are what you eat.” Recent research into food and the effects it has on the body and mind now have us saying, “Change your food, change your mood.”

Our brains are made of many neural pathways, transmitters, and chemicals that make up and regulate our thoughts and moods. Serotonin, the ‘feel good neurotransmitter’, makes us feel happy. When serotonin levels drop, it can make us feel sad or depressed.

Serotonin is directly linked with tryptophan, an amino acid found in many foods. Diets consisting of foods with low tryptophan levels lead to depleting serotonin in the brain, which in turn then leads to irritability, aggression, lowered mood, and impaired memory.

Diets including foods with high levels of tryptophan can provide the opposite effect and raise serotonin levels naturally. Turkey is high in tryptophan, so don’t relegate it only to Thanksgiving. Ground turkey can easily be used as a substitute for ground beef in most recipes.

Cottage cheese is also high in tryptophan and could easily be included in daily meals. Skip the chips at lunch and have some cottage cheese instead.

Another way to lower risk for depression, especially in women, is to drink coffee regularly. A National Institute of Health study tracked women over a ten year period (1996-2006) and found that women who drank coffee regularly throughout the week had lower reported depressive episodes than non-coffee drinking women.

How about a sweet treat to go with that coffee? Dark chocolate has been found to increase serotonin levels naturally as well, leading to improved mood. Bananas can also be included on a list of foods that will decrease negative mood-related symptoms.

Other amino acids, such as L-theanine and Omega-3, a fatty acid, as well antioxidants and minerals such as magnesium and zinc can all help reduce anxiety symptoms. Salmon is a great source of Omega-3 and can also alter dopamine and serotonin levels, packing a double advantage to reduce anxiety and improve mood.

Dark leafy greens, such as spinach and kale, contain magnesium. Other foods found to reduce anxiety symptoms include, Oysters, green tea, and blueberries. Flavonoids, an antioxidant found in blueberries, assist in regulating mood, in addition to many other health benefits eating fresh fruit provides.

The foods listed above are not a complete list. If you are considering a major change to your diet, or if you have food allergies or other monitored health issues, please consult a physician and/or nutritionist. Changing what you eat, even small changes, such as eating a banana for a snack or swapping out the iceberg lettuce in a salad with dark, leafy greens, can impact overall health and mood for the better.

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Raising a Feminist Son

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By Brooke Skipper, LCSW, February 19, 2019 –

The word feminism is often criticized by society. There are many who may not even read an article with the word feminism in the title.

In all actuality, feminism is defined as equality of the sexes. At its core, feminism just means believing we are all equal and should, therefore, have equal opportunities.

A powerful quote by Gloria Steinem states, “Though we have the courage to raise our daughters more like our sons, we’ve rarely had the courage to raise our sons like our daughters.”

We want our daughters to be assertive, bold, to understand they can aspire to whatever path in life they choose. We’ve changed our clothing lines for girls to include items with the word “strong” instead of the standard “pretty.” We encourage our girls to explore science, sports, and business, which are typically viewed by society as “male.”

But what about the boys? How often do we let our boys know pink is not a representation of a sex, that they can take dance lessons, that crying is not just okay but natural, that they can be beautiful, kind, and sensitive? Instilling acceptance and equality in our sons can help avoid the toxic masculinity that can debilitate them in the future.

 Here are some ways we can raise our children to see each other as equal:

  • Teach them to feel their feelings. When our children cry, a knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Don’t cry.” This is detrimental on many levels, as we are teaching our children to suppress their emotions. When our sons cry, this detriment reaches another level if we say, “Be a big boy and stop crying.” Instead, let your son know that it is okay to feel upset and help them cope with their emotions.
  • Remember that household chores are for the entire household. Make sure your children know everyone is expected to help with all chores. Chores are about what is age appropriate, not male/female appropriate.
  • Expose children to strong female characters and teach them that women can be powerful. Encourage your children to be any character they want to be during imaginative play, regardless of if the sex aligns with theirs. If your son wants to pretend to be Wonder Woman, let him.
  • Don’t differentiate between toys or hobbies. Encourage your children to participate in activities and play with toys that appeal to them. Don’t stereotype an activity or toy as “for girls” or “for boys” only.
  • Encourage coed friendships. It’s great for kids to have friends who are the same gender, but it’s equally important for them to have friends of the opposite sex. Boys can learn that girls aren’t the weaker sex and can have great ideas of their own. 
  • Teach children that feminism is not male bashing, it is about equality. Being a feminist means you believe everyone should coexist equally. No one is less than or more than another. Defined in that way, why wouldn’t you want to be a feminist?
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Raising Independent Children

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By Amy Steele, LCSW, LAC, RPT, February 12, 2019 –

Independence and self-reliance are valuable skills to equip children with as they grow. We want them to be able to take care of themselves and not have to rely on others meet their needs. 

To nurture and develop those skills we have to start early in childhood.  Starting as young as age 1 or 2, begin to give children small, simple tasks and encourage them in their efforts.  This takes consistency and day-to-day nurturing. It is not always easy and can sometimes be time consuming. 

Most parents can recall a time when doing something for their child was easier, quicker, or more peaceful than having the child do it.  Yet, each time we choose to do something for our child that they are capable of doing for themselves, we are taking away the chance for them to build confidence in their ability and learn important life skills on their way to independence and self-reliance.

Here are some tips for fostering independence in your child:

  • Consider opportunities. Identify tasks that are age-appropriate and safe (be sure to provide proper supervision when needed). Making a list of tasks can be helpful for you and your child.
  • Pre-plan to allow for extra time and the probability that there will be mistakes.  It’s easier for us to be calm and patient with the effort when we are not pressed for time.
  • Prioritize and go slow.  Pick one task at a time so your child isn’t overwhelmed.
  • Work together. Initially it may be good to share the task, especially if your child is resistant to the idea.
  • Give choices. Making choices is part of being independent. Allowing them to pick between two simple choices acceptable to you gives them pride and practice. (i.e. “Do you want to put the spoons or the forks out as we set the table?”)
  • Perfection is not the goal. Accept that it won’t be done as well as you could do it. If messes are made use it as another learning experience. Show your child how to clean it up with patience and understanding, assuring them that it happens to everyone.
  • Encourage problem solving. When questions come up, encourage them to come up with solutions to minor issues, even if they need to think about it a little, instead of rushing in and taking care of it for them.

Some appropriate tasks for children ages 2-3 include picking up toys and books, putting dirty laundry in the designated spot, throwing away trash, partially (working up to fully) dressing themselves, removing shoes and putting them away, and dusting with a sock on their hand. Kids ages 4-5 can make their bed, clean out things under their bed, feed pets, water plants, clear dishes from the table and wipe up their area.

At age 6-7 kids can sweep the floor, empty the dishwasher, gather trash from different rooms, fold clothes and towels and match socks.  By 8-9 years of age kids can walk the dog, bring empty garbage cans up from the curb, sweep the porch, put groceries away, and tackle simple cooking and baking with parental supervision. 

Encouraging independence at a young age, not doing for your child what they can do for themselves, will build confidence and self-reliance that they can build on as they grow.

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The Introvert/Extrovert Spectrum: Managing Introverts’ Energy to Boost Success

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By Katie Omohundro, LCSW – January 22, 2019 –

First popularized by psychiatrist Carl Jung, the terms “introversion” and “extroversion” have been used in a variety of ways. From “the shy one” to “the social butterfly,” there are a number of generalizations which are often mistakenly used regarding the introvert/extrovert spectrum. But once we know where we stand, what’s next?

Attention and energy are significant dividing points between introversion and extroversion, particularly where one puts their attention and how one gets their energy. Extroverts are more likely to focus on the outer world of people and things, while introverts are more focused on the inner world of ideas and images.

For introverts, understanding their strengths, as well as how to handle their challenges, is a multi-step process. The sooner we learn how to manage our differences from those around us, the more we can keep from draining our batteries.

Here are four things that conscious introverts have done to help them be more successful:

  • Reframing: Being an introvert is an asset.
    • Negative stereotypes about introverts are easy to come up with: unfriendly, withdrawn, shy, lacking social skills.
    • The gifts of introversion are many – but less understood. Introverts may just be processing all the information in ways that are much different from extroverts.
    • Introvert and extrovert brains are wired differently! What an asset it would be to have the best of both worlds and have a super team of both introverts AND extroverts!
  • Make re-energizing a high priority.
    • Introverts get re-energized from the inside – from their ideas, impressions, and feelings.
    • Introverts need considerable ‘down time’ for that re-energizing to happen.
  • Create ‘introvert’ ways of doing things.
    • “Normal” in our culture is extroverted.
    • Research shows that up to 75% of people are extroverts. That’s 3 in 4 people!
    • Getting good at being an introvert on purpose makes life a lot easier.
  • Develop “extroverting” skills.
    • Sometimes it’s smart or essential to act like an extrovert.
    • It is important for introverts to recharge those batteries and be ready to take on that draining task of talking in front of peers.
    • When introverts are prepared and use their skills and preventative measures to keep that energy-level up they will be more successful.

It is believed that everyone has both an introverted and an extroverted side, but typically one side is more dominant than the other.  Understanding where we are on this spectrum is half the battle of learning how to manage our energy and learning ways that work for us so we can truly thrive.

Author and Marriage and Family Therapist Marti Olsen Laney writes in her book “The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World,” “Our culture values and rewards the qualities of extroverts.

America was built on rugged individualism and the importance of citizens speaking their minds. We value action, speed, competition, and drive. It’s no wonder people are on the defensive about introversion.”

For those that identify more as an introvert, the world may make them feel isolated, weird, or misunderstood. When an introvert first learns they are an “innie” and then learns how to tap into their skills and ways to recharge, they can be unstoppable!

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