Managing Stress for Middle School Students

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By Kelsey Weber, LSW – March 26, 2019

Middle school students are faced with challenges each and every day.  Whether these challenges come from home, school, friends, or other environmental factors, stress can overwhelm kids.

Stress is an uncomfortable feeling someone develops when they’re scared, angry, worried, or frustrated, which affects their mood and body in many different ways. What’s important to remember is that children and adolescents experience stress the same way adults do.

Middle school students can be very susceptible to stress because of the immense changes they’re experiencing physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually during these years.

A middle school student may be experiencing stressors such as homework load, a busy schedule, peer pressure, test anxiety, grades, image concerns, lack of support, and changes in routine. This does not include any stressors occurring at home or other out-of-school environments.

So what should parents look for as warning signs that their child is experiencing stress? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, many students who are feeling overwhelmed and stressed may exhibit the following symptoms:

  • Frequent stomach aches and/or headaches
  • Changes in appetite
  • Chronic worrying
  • Nail biting
  • Changes in mood/mood swings
  • Fatigue and increased desire to sleep
  • Sadness/depression
  • Retreating to bedroom/withdrawn
  • Self-harm
  • “Checking out” from responsibilities
  • Frequent absences
  • Physical aggression
  • Quick temper
  • Frequent crying
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Lying to teachers/parents
  • Failing grades
  • Substance abuse

Although many middle school students experience stress, there are healthy ways for parents and students to develop coping strategies to manage it. Parents can help their children by teaching them time management skills; ensuring they aren’t overscheduled; encouraging sleep, exercise, and healthy eating; monitoring parental pressure, encouraging outdoor play, and allowing the child to have fun.

Parents can also assist in identifying stressors their children may be experiencing by asking questions and beginning a conversation.  A parent could say, “I’ve noticed something has been bothering you” or “You mentioned you have a lot of homework lately; how are you feeling about that?” to get the conversation flowing. Just helping pinpoint the stressor will give your child a sense of relief.

By identifying the stressor(s), students can avoid the situations that cause them stress. Examples would be avoiding people who might be a bad influence, staying away from places where they’re likely to get in trouble, and avoiding things that may upset them. When they know their stressors, students can choose to not be around those people, places, and things.

Lastly, taking care of your body plays a very important role in managing stress. As mentioned above, exercise, active relaxation, eating healthy and sleep are vital for lowering stress levels in middle schoolers.  

Exercise is the most important part of a stress management plan. Many people do not see the need for exercise nor have the time for it, but when you are stressed you need exercise the most. After you exercise and use up stress hormones, you think better and are able to focus and learn more.

Active relaxation is important because your body can only use the relaxed OR emergency nervous system, not both. This 4-8 deep breathing technique helps aid in relaxation:

  • Sit or lie down and place your hands on your belly. Take a deep breath, trying to expand your belly pulling your hands apart. Take a full breath counting to 4, hold your breath counting to 8, and then slowly let out counting to 8. Try this technique 10 times, focusing on your breathing and giving your full concentration.

Eating healthy will help keep students alert throughout the day and their mood steady. People who eat mainly junk food often have highs and lows in their energy levels, which create more stress on their bodies. Eating a healthy, well balanced diet will aid in stress management.

Sleep aids in thinking clearly and mood management. When students are tired, they can’t learn as well and will often be impatient and irritable. Students can improve their sleep by going to sleep at the same time each night, taking a hot shower one hour before bedtime to relax, putting away all electronics one hour before bed, and allowing some wind-down time before lying in bed. 

Creating and following a stress management plan will help students lower their stress levels and deal with the daily challenges they are faced with. One of the best ways to be happy and successful is to manage stress well.

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Enjoy Nature and Improve Your Mental Health

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By Kristen Melhiser, MSW, March 19, 2019 –

While living in Colorado for 11 years, I had access to vast beautiful landscapes and often found myself at great peace and wholeness when in nature.

What is it about nature that is so alluring and healing to the mind, body, and soul? Is it the beautiful landscapes and life in the flowers, plants, and trees? Is it the sounds of waves crashing, birds singing, and crickets chirping? Is it the smells of fresh cut grass, summer rain, and fall leaves?

There is a great deal of research to prove that exercise is extremely beneficial for a person’s mental health. Participating in outdoor activities often involves some level of exercise, but choosing to take a walk outside instead of inside on a treadmill also does so much more for the soul.

Wilderness Therapy (WT) is a fairly new concept in psychotherapy, but it is a term rarely heard in the Midwest. WT uses traditional therapeutic interventions, but it is not confined to a therapist’s office.

As the name explains, WT takes place in the wilderness where nature provides its own holistic healing. Being in the wilderness naturally brings out our survival instincts; it breaks down barriers, removes us from everyday norms, and creates an environment that doesn’t allow us to avoid certain problems.

With very few WT programs in the Midwest how can we approach this concept? It’s as simple as you think…just go outside!

In a world where teens are spending an average of six hours a day consuming social media, time away from electronics is necessary. Mental health issues are on the rise in adolescents because they are not able to cope with the pressures of social media or process the level of information they receive online.

I suggest you plan quiet time, slow life down a little, and stop to smell the roses (literally). Being out in nature has a way of slowing us down and removing our daily norms. It provides the break we all need, especially adolescents who are learning how to cope with the world.

Nature offers us the opportunity to reconnect our families and our relationships. More importantly, it provides a much needed mental break for all of us.

Whether you go walking, swimming, camping, hiking, or kayaking, go outside together. Spend that time reconnecting by teaching your children how to fish, change a tire, or plant flowers.

The point is to get outside and enjoy what nature has to offer. One of the best parts of nature is that it’s free; you don’t have to pay, you simply walk out your door.

I leave you with this challenge: Take at least one hour this week to go outside with your family. Increase the amount of time you spend outside each week and create new adventures.

Instead of pushing activities on your kids, give them several options so they feel less like they are being forced to do something and more like they are making the choice of what to do.

Now go outside and have some fun!

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Healthy Friendships

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By Kaitlyn Meredith, MSW, Youth First, Inc. – March 12, 2019

Healthy Friendships
By Kaitlyn Meredith, Youth First, Inc.

When you think of friendship, what comes to mind? Is it someone that you do homework with? Is it someone that is there for you when the going gets tough? Maybe it’s that person who cheers you up and can joke around but also be serious when it’s time to be.

Friendship can come in a variety of forms. You could have a large close group of friends or a small group. You could see them every day, once a week, live close to each other or on opposite sides of the country. With today’s technology, keeping in touch is easy and distance doesn’t matter so much.   

But how do you tell if the friendship is healthy?

Here are some ingredients to a healthy friendship:

  • Trust is one of the vital parts of any relationship. You need to be able to trust that a friend will not cause any physical or emotional harm. This includes trusting that they will not try to poison other friendships. Another level of trust is that we can trust them to keep their word and to keep our secrets.
  • Talking and listening are very important. Everyone needs someone they can talk to, whether it is a casual conversation or more serious. When you talk with a good friend, you are able to talk about whatever is on your mind, no matter how deep or shallow it may be. They will give advice if that’s what is needed, or they will listen to you rant and let you cry.
  • Supporting each other in all ways possible makes for strong friendships. When you are younger it is easy to think that everyone is heading in the same direction. But as life progresses, each person has their own course; if the course heads in a different direction, the parties in a healthy friendship will continue to support each other.
  • Understanding and supporting each other’s goals adds a lot of strength to a friendship. As a friend, you should encourage each other to continue towards your individual goals.
  • Having mutual understanding, respect, and appreciation for each other is crucial in a healthy friendship. There must be equal give and take. Friendship should not be one-sided.

If you feel that you may be in an unhealthy friendship, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do I feel good about myself when I am with them?
  • Do we do things that we both want to do?
  • Can I trust them with my secrets or to give me solid advice?

If you are answering no or questioning the friendship, it may be time to create some distance. Ending any relationship is never easy, but by putting some space between you and your friend it will allow you to see if the friendship is truly right for you.

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Electronics: The Modern-Day Playground

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By Beth Greene, MSW, LSW – March 5, 2019

Technology is the norm in our society today. One in three children learns to use an electronic device before they learn to talk.

Does your child get angry when you mention that an electronic device could be taken away as a punishment? Technology addiction is not yet an official diagnosis; however, studies are publishing more and more research about the real effects of excessive time spent on electronic devices.

Studies show that not all technology has negative impacts. Kids and adults can often be in denial of their addiction and say things like, “I need this for school” or “It’s just a game.”  

There are signs of technology addiction and ways to prevent the addiction from causing behavioral issues at home and at school.

It is normal in today’s society to use electronic devices, video games, and social media. However, excessive use of electronics can create addiction-like behaviors that we must be aware of in an effort to prevent unhealthy dependence.

Some researchers have compared social media today to a modern-day playground for children. It is normal for a child to become upset when their playground is taken away and they are not permitted to use their electronics.

When electronic devices begin to cause extreme behavioral issues you may need to start making changes regarding the electronic use in your home.

These are few signs you can look for in determining if your child has developed an unhealthy dependence to technology:

  • Your child has decreased interest in other activities they previously enjoyed.
  • Your child has increased mood swings and argumentative behavior regarding their use of electronic devices.
  • Your child becomes angry over small things but quickly calms when they return to their device.
  • Your child has difficulty unwinding to go to sleep after utilizing electronics.
  • Your child has increased lying or devious behavior, such as hiding their devices and/or using them in bed without permission.
  • Your child hides in isolated places with their devices to avoid confrontation.

There are ways to control the use of electronics. The first thing to remember as a parent is that our children learn from our actions more than our words.

Take in to consideration how much time you are spending on your electronic devices. Are you showing your child ways to stimulate their minds away from electronics?

Some researchers recommend a 72-hour digital detox if you are concerned with your child or family’s excessive use of electronics. You can expect your children to be more irritable during this detox; however, they will transition if you provide consistency.

After the digital detox you can start implementing and enforcing more structured rules about the use of devices in your home. For example, you may choose to implement no electronic use until homework is finished, no devices during meals, no devices one hour before bed, and devices must be in parental possession when the kids are in bed for the night.

The rules in each home may vary, but creating guidelines and being consistent with those restrictions may be vital to your child’s sleep hygiene, mood, and well-being.

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