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Amy Steele, LCSW, RPT – Nov. 29, 2019

In any sport, there are a number of skills that one must learn to be successful. The skill of being a good loser will take kids far in life, whether they play sports for one season or make it as a professional athlete. It is a skill that is used throughout all of life when disappointing things happen.

 A good loser accepts the loss in a way that shows respect for one’s self, both teams, the coaches and all of the other people involved. The seven tips below will help you improve your child’s ability to be a good loser and a good winner.

  • Start young.  Play board games with kids when they are little. Teach them that everyone wins and loses sometimes. End games by having everyone shake hands or do “Good Game” high fives to practice positive outcomes. 
  • When your child is upset about losing (at any age,) acknowledge that you understand it is disappointing to lose. You may have a child that is such a sore loser that you avoid games or anything competitive with them at all. While this may make it easier at the moment and avoid a tantrum, avoiding it would take away a great learning opportunity. Teaching your child to persevere through what they may see as a failure shows them they can get through hard things and that you will be with them as they do. You are building character, and each time you do this it will become easier for the child to handle it the next time.
  • Observe your own behavior to see if you and other adults in your child’s life are modeling good sportsmanship. The adults closest to a child (in particular the same-sex parent) are the people they look to the most as a model for their behavior. Do you make excuses for your own difficulties or when things don’t go your way?  Blame your boss when something goes wrong?  Yell at the coach or referees? Criticize your kid’s teacher in front of them?  How do you react when your team loses or your child doesn’t make a team? Decide what you can do to be a better example of a good loser for your child.
  • Expect your child to be responsible for their own actions and remind them that everyone has bad days and everyone makes mistakes – even coaches, referees, and teammates. Make your child accountable every time they have a bad attitude such as making excuses, blaming others, booing, or criticizing someone.
  • Encourage your child to watch how others act when they lose and use it as a teachable moment.
  • Teach your child to encourage their teammates and look for the positives.  Good sports and good teammates support and encourage each other.
  • Help your child bounce back from disappointments in games and sports, as this is good preparation for real life. 

As your child grows they will have the skills in place to help them handle many different kinds of loss, such as the loss of a job or a relationship.   It is likely they will turn to those who helped them handle a loss previously when they need help again. Be that person for them when they are young.

By Ellen Dippel, MSW, December 3, 2018 –

Technology gives us access to information at the speed of light and communication with others in an instant.  People can order their groceries, do all of their banking, and even take a college-level class – all with just a smart phone.

There is an application for virtually anything and everything on a smart phone.  These applications can help increase productivity and efficiency for both parents and students, give access to games for children, and serve as a tool to share ideas across the world.

Technology has helped the world greatly advance, but are these technological advancements also hindering creativity and imagination?

Technology such as television, tablets, and video games are becoming more and more popular for young children and teens. Screen time includes time spent on phones, televisions, tablets, and other electronic devices.

Children and adults alike can waste hours scrolling through phones and playing games without even realizing it. Unfortunately, spending time in front of a screen is becoming a go-to activity.

It is suggested that children younger than 18 months have no screen time, and no child should have more than two hours of screen time per day.

Screen time is replacing the development of creativity and imagination in children and adolescents.

Much of a child’s imagination and creativity is expressed through play, which develops problem-solving and critical thinking skills.  Children are able to come up with alternative ways of doing things when they explore the world through play-time activities.

There are many activities that parents can encourage to help promote creative and imaginative play, including the following:

  1. Spending time outdoors offers children the opportunity to discover and explore the world around them. Nature supplies many natural toys, tools, and canvases such as rocks, sticks, mud, and sand. Children can also participate in sports activities as a healthy alternative to screen time.
  2. Art activities encourage children to express themselves through a variety of media. Clay, paint, and other artistic media require concentration to develop. Creating a work of art gives the child a sense of accomplishment after making a unique creation.
  3. Role play different situations with your child. Encourage your child to play house, teacher, doctor, store, etc. Role play can help your child learn and develop verbal and social skills.
  4. Limit screen time for your child. Screen time does not require any real physical or mental strength. Limiting screen time encourages children to participate in creative or imaginative play activity that stretches their mind and body.

Encourage your child to develop their imagination and creativity through play. Monitor their screen time and set a good example by limiting your own screen time. Play with them and have conversations with them. Children and adults alike can benefit from enjoying other activities that engage the mind and body.