By Kaitlyn Meredith, MSW, Youth First, Inc. – March 12, 2019
By Kaitlyn Meredith, Youth First, Inc.
When you think of friendship, what comes to mind? Is it someone that you do homework with? Is it someone that is there for you when the going gets tough? Maybe it’s that person who cheers you up and can joke around but also be serious when it’s time to be.
Friendship can come in a variety of forms. You could have a large close group of friends or a small group. You could see them every day, once a week, live close to each other or on opposite sides of the country. With today’s technology, keeping in touch is easy and distance doesn’t matter so much.
But how do you tell if the friendship is healthy?
Here are some ingredients to a healthy friendship:
- Trust is one of the vital parts of any relationship. You need to be able to trust that a friend will not cause any physical or emotional harm. This includes trusting that they will not try to poison other friendships. Another level of trust is that we can trust them to keep their word and to keep our secrets.
- Talking and listening are very important. Everyone needs someone they can talk to, whether it is a casual conversation or more serious. When you talk with a good friend, you are able to talk about whatever is on your mind, no matter how deep or shallow it may be. They will give advice if that’s what is needed, or they will listen to you rant and let you cry.
- Supporting each other in all ways possible makes for strong friendships. When you are younger it is easy to think that everyone is heading in the same direction. But as life progresses, each person has their own course; if the course heads in a different direction, the parties in a healthy friendship will continue to support each other.
- Understanding and supporting each other’s goals adds a lot of strength to a friendship. As a friend, you should encourage each other to continue towards your individual goals.
- Having mutual understanding, respect, and appreciation for each other is crucial in a healthy friendship. There must be equal give and take. Friendship should not be one-sided.
If you feel that you may be in an unhealthy friendship, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I feel good about myself when I am with them?
- Do we do things that we both want to do?
- Can I trust them with my secrets or to give me solid advice?
If you are answering no or questioning the friendship, it may be time to create some distance. Ending any relationship is never easy, but by putting some space between you and your friend it will allow you to see if the friendship is truly right for you.