Letting Go of Perfectionism

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By Niki Walls, MSW, LSW – October 29, 2025 –

When’s the last time you tried something new without worrying about whether you would be good at it? As children, we would happily play and try something new; we were not consumed with thoughts of failure. However, as adults, we often avoid hobbies unless we believe we can master them.

At what point in our lives does this change-up happen? How can we be successful role models to students, expect them to improve, and not add to the pressure of perfectionism? 

We live in a society that thrives on performance, productivity, and perfection. This can be harmful when dealing with children. Students often feel pressured to be perfect at everything they do. If they are unsure if they will be good at something, they may avoid it altogether. The way society has made “good enough” seem like “not enough” will often push students to the point of not trying at all.

The message students need to hear is that they do not have to be perfect, or even good, at something to help them grow. Even without perfection, a hobby, physical activity, or passion can greatly support a student’s mental well-being. The fear of failure is holding many students back from reaching their full potential. Studies show that trying new activities boosts creativity, lowers stress, and even helps build resilience. 

When students only do what they are already good at, they may miss out on experiences that could bring them new joy, diverse friendships, and valuable life skills. When students try something new without the added pressure of being perfect, they can build resiliency, boost their confidence, encourage creativity, and have a positive outlet for stress. It also takes the pressure off for them to feel like they must perform well to be worthy of love or attention. Children need to learn the art of normalizing mistakes, not fearing them, while also shifting their brain from fight-or-flight to a state of calm. 

As adults, we can encourage this mindset by praising their effort over the mastery or perfectionism. Teachers and parents can also model imperfection. Try something new, give yourself grace when you fail, and laugh it off when things do not go as planned. This will model just how safe it is to take risks without fear of embarrassment.  

Growing up can be stressful and full of pressure for students, but not everything has to be about perfect grades, scores, or achievement. Encourage students to “fail” so they can explore who they really are while discovering new passions and building confidence. When we let go of being perfect at something, we permit ourselves to enjoy it. That joy can be a surprisingly powerful tool for our mental health. Maybe the shift starts by picking one thing you can do “badly” on purpose. Not only will it lighten your mood, but you might just have more fun than you have had in a long time. 

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Tim Hollander Named 2025 Champion of Youth First

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EVANSVILLE, IN – Youth First honored long-time advocate Tim Hollander at its 2025 Breakfast of Champions, presented by Toyota Indiana, on Tuesday, October 21, at Friedman Park Event Center in Newburgh. Hollander received the Dr. William Wooten Champion of Youth First Award. Hollander’s tireless passion for helping young people recognize their full potential has made him a distinguished community leader who values education, a strong workforce, and thriving families.

Hollander, an Evansville native, currently serves as President of Toyota Canada. Before assuming this position, he was President of Toyota Indiana and General Manager of Toyota West Virginia. He is a former Youth First Board Member and currently serves on the Youth First Advisory Council.

“Tim’s passion for Youth First is both evident and infectious. Youth First cares for people; they empathize with others and their perspectives to act with kindness and compassion and improve their well-being. At Toyota, we call that the Toyota way. Respect for people and continuous improvement are the foundation of Toyota and are at the core of all we do…These principles that are so intrinsic for Toyota can be seen in the values of Youth First,” said Jason Puckett, President, Toyota Indiana. 

In 2023, Tim was instrumental in championing Youth First as a partner in the Driving Possibilities initiative with Toyota USA Foundation, deepening Youth First services in Gibson and Vanderburgh County schools.

In addition to recognizing Hollander, the organization celebrated its donors, school partners, and volunteers, with over 300 guests in attendance. Evansville Mayor Stephanie Terry proclaimed October 21, 2025, as “Tim Hollander, Champion of Youth First Day.”

Along with his service to Youth First, Tim has served on numerous boards while at Toyota Indiana. Most recently, he served on the Evansville Regional Economic Partnership, Evansville Regional Business Council, Southwest Indiana Regional Development Authority, University of Southern Indiana Board of Trustees, and Signature School Foundation.

Youth First partners with school districts across Indiana, embedding licensed master’s level mental health professionals in school buildings and providing family programs in communities. Youth First’s presence contributes to healthier, safer, and more vibrant schools and communities.

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Raising Confident, Independent Kids

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By Ashley Underwood, MSW, LCSW – October 22, 2025 –

Allowing your child to have independence and responsibility can be challenging. It’s difficult for some parents and guardians to acknowledge that their little ones are growing up. Just a small amount of ownership and responsibility, however, can have a big impact on your child’s development. Independence builds self-confidence, helps prepare them to complete tasks on their own in the future, and has benefits for parents as well.  

Your child’s independence will grow as they complete simple tasks. Easy tasks are best for little ones. A common example of building independence in your young child might include asking them to put their backpack and lunchbox away after they get home from school. Older children may be given the responsibility of preparing their backpack for school in the morning and hanging it up properly when they return home. While taking care of a backpack may seem like a small task, it promotes responsibility and independence.

Another way to foster independence is by allowing children to make choices. The decision can be as simple as, “Do you want to wear your Spider-Man pajamas or your Mickey Mouse pajamas to bed?” or “Would you like apples or strawberries with your sandwich?” There are countless opportunities for building independence. In the morning, let them choose their hairstyle for school or which socks they want to wear. In the evening, ask them to complete a small task such as setting the table for dinner or choosing which book they’d like to read before bed.

Making simple decisions such as this builds independence and responsibility while also developing problem-solving and decision-making skills.  

Along with completing tasks and making decisions, there are other ways you can build your child’s independence. Being consistent with a specific routine or schedule allows children to grow in this area. Consistency helps a child know what to expect each day and what will happen next. An inconsistent routine can cause confusion, create struggles, and potentially cause reactions such as a tantrum or outburst.  

Taking a step back as a parent also promotes independence in your child. Of course, parental supervision is important, and the child’s safety should always come first. It’s essential to be present while still allowing your child to explore their independence. Mistakes are inevitable, but they help both children and adults learn more about themselves, others, and the world.  

Independence should be a daily part of a child’s life. You may find that some tasks your child helps with take additional time, but they will be thrilled when they are allowed to help. Their confidence will grow with each little step they take toward independence. 

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Assisting Your Anxious Teen

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By Angel Wagner, MSW, LCSW – October 15, 2025 –

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that many people deal with. We all experience various levels of anxiety, often characterized by worry, fear and nervousness. Symptoms can range from visible shaking, agitation, and explosiveness to complete shutdown.

Anxiety affects children and teens as well as adults. For example, for many teenagers, starting high school can be a very stressful experience. Everything is new and rushed, and students have homework, extracurricular activities, and many things to do in a short amount of time, increasing their anxiety.

If your child suffers from anxiety, below are some tips and tricks to help. 

Grounding, not Grounded

Grounding exercises are a physical or verbal interaction used to remove oneself from an anxiety-inducing moment. Grounding centers the person, allowing them to focus on the task at hand, rather than the symptoms caused by the triggering event. Think about placing horse blinders on yourself. You can ignore the chaos around you and stay focused on one thing. Grounding exercises may include counting the number of objects of a certain color in a room, rubbing circles or tapping on your hand, or counting. 

Breathe, Darling, Breathe 

Breathing exercises are also a form of physical grounding. They can help calm the body and prevent hyperventilating or holding breath. There are many breathing exercises you can try to determine which works best. A go-to is box breathing. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four and finally, hold again for four. Another popular breathing method is the four – seven – eight method. Breathe in for four, hold for seven and breathe out for eight. Similar to the horse blinders analogy, the focus point is narrowed to your breathing with these exercises.

A Mama Mantra 

A mantra is a repeated sound or phrase often used in meditation. Meditation is a great relaxation technique if you’ve had an anxiety-filled day. Think of the “ohm” sound often used by monks. A mantra can be a phrase repeated by your child when they feel their anxiety rise. Repeating “It’s okay,” “Live and let live,” or “This too will pass” are a few examples. A silly favorite of mine is “Goosefaba.” Try saying that without a smile emerging. Repeating a mantra, again, shifts your focus from everything around and inside of you to a familiar catch phrase.  

Many different things can spark someone’s anxiety at any time throughout their day. For example, high school students often experience stressful situations, whether it’s new classes, tests, peer situations, life at home or romantic relationship issues.

The next time your child is struggling, have them practice one of the grounding, breathing, or counting exercises mentioned above. And don’t forget about mantras to get your child through stressful moments. With proper management, teens can reduce their anxiety symptoms and significantly improve their quality of life.  

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The Importance of Labeling Emotions

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By Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW- September 8, 2025 –

One of the hardest things for a parent is to see their child struggle and not have the power to “fix” it. We all want happy, healthy children. In order to achieve that, however, we must allow kids to experience and understand a whole range of emotions.

When children learn that all emotions are acceptable and a normal part of human life, they can begin to cope with those emotions in healthy and positive ways. This helps them build empathy, resilience, and more positive self-esteem. When we talk openly with children about their emotions, we also teach them that we are a supportive, safe space, regardless of what they are experiencing.

Here are some simple ways to support your child’s emotion identification skills:

  1. Talk about emotions daily. Make it a habit to check in with your child about how they are feeling, and then really listen to what they have to say. Don’t rush to resolve or soothe their feelings. Be a safe support before you offer to help with solutions.
  2. Recognize your child’s emotions and respond with compassion. Again, it is easy to offer reassurance, but this may come off as dismissive to your child. If they tell you they are scared and you respond with, “There’s nothing to be scared of,” you are not hearing them as they express their emotions. One of the easiest ways to respond with compassion is by repeating your child’s emotion back to them. “I can see you are feeling sad. Do you want to talk about it?”
  3. Model, model, model. The best thing we can do as parents is to demonstrate healthy ways to respond to emotions. Kids learn by observing the world around them. When we continually show our children that hard emotions can be handled in positive ways, they will follow suit.
  4. Help your child develop a range of tools to use when coping with difficult emotions. There is no “one-size-fits-all” solution for emotional regulation. If deep breaths work for one person, they may not work for the next. Some skills can be used at home but not in a classroom. Brainstorm several different strategies for your child to have available.
  5. Ask your child to identify emotions in others, as well. As your child learns to recognize their own feelings, help them recognize feelings in those around them. What does a sad, happy, scared face look like? How can you tell your friend is angry? This helps build empathy and an understanding of how to support the emotions of others in a healthy way.
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