Creating a Positive Relationship with Motivation

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By Yolanda Vidal, MA, LMHC, ATR – February 11, 2026 –

Motivation is often misunderstood as a personality trait, something you either have or you do not. In reality, motivation is a psychological state that fluctuates based on emotional regulation, self-perception, nervous system balance, and the perception of meaning. When labeling motivation solely as an individual’s discipline or willpower, we overlook the complex processes involved in making sustainable change possible.

Low motivation is rarely about laziness. More often, it is a signal of burnout, depression, anxiety, or unresolved trauma. When the nervous system is in survival mode, the brain prioritizes safety over development and growth. In these states, asking someone to “work harder” can feel invalidating and reinforce shame or negative self-worth.

Creating a positive relationship with motivation involves reframing motivation not as force, but as alignment within your life. Taking time to identify stressors, creating sustainable lifestyle changes, and increasing self-care can be pivotal pieces to balancing one’s relationship with motivation.

The foundation of motivation involves maintaining emotional safety. Chronic stress, perfectionism, and low self-worth can activate the brain’s response system to threats. When this response is activated, the brain’s ability to make decisions is impacted. Our bodies are not meant to function in this survival state for long periods of time. One of the most effective first steps in rebuilding motivation and increasing emotional safety is developing self-compassion.

Self-compassion techniques, such as positive self-talk and normalization, can help reduce overall stress, increase positive self-worth, and decrease feelings of resistance. When individuals learn to speak to themselves with the same empathy that they would offer a loved one, motivation becomes less about fear of failure and more about curiosity and self-respect. Self-compassion supports greater resiliency and a positive relationship with motivation.

To ensure emotional safety, emotional regulation is necessary. Motivation cannot be sustained without a regulated nervous system. Utilizing different mindfulness and grounding techniques can help bring the body out of chronic fight-or-flight and into a state where action feels accessible.

Simple interventions such as deep breathing techniques, body scanning, or brief mindfulness check-ins can significantly decrease stress and improve emotional regulation. When individuals learn to notice how they are functioning internally, they can respond with regulation rather than avoidance. Motivation becomes a byproduct of feeling capable rather than overwhelmed. This is particularly important for individuals with anxiety or trauma histories, where avoidance is often a protective response. By addressing emotional regulation, motivation naturally improves as the nervous system stabilizes.

Sustainable motivation is deeply connected to meaning. Values-based actions and motivation can support long-term engagement and positively impact one’s mental health overall. Identifying core values can open motivation to personal connections that feel meaningful to individuals rather than forced. When actions and goals align with personal values, motivation shifts from “I should” to “This matters to me.”

Management is key when looking to increase motivation. Motivation can improve when goals and tasks are broken into small, achievable steps. Large goals and tasks can often feel unachievable or impossible to complete. Even minimal action, such as five minutes of action, can build confidence and challenge feelings of avoidance. Over time, motivation becomes reinforced through consistent experiences and utilization of skills rather than pressure, shame, or guilt.

Ultimately, motivation is not something to conquer. It is something to listen to. When individuals learn to view motivation as a relationship with themselves, rather than a performance metric, change becomes gentler and more sustainable. Building a positive relationship with motivation honors feeling understood, regulated, and aligned with one’s values. Within this positive relationship, motivation stops being a battle and becomes the natural process of change connected to taking care of ourselves.


Yolanda Vidal, MA, LMHC, ATR, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at McGary Middle School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Expressing Emotions in a Healthy Way

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By Hannah Gill, MSW, LSW – February 4, 2026 –

When working with teens and discussing emotions, I often give an analogy of sand in a jar. In this analogy, the sand is our emotions. We can put the sand in the jar and stuff it down, but eventually the jar will overflow. Likewise, we can suppress emotions without feeling them, but eventually our emotions will surface (whether we want them to or not), and sometimes this will be in ways that are detrimental to the teen and their relationships.

Expressing and feeling our emotions is a vital skill that helps demonstrate resilience. One way we can support teens in expressing their feelings is by modeling and having conversations about emotions.

But first, why is expressing emotions something we should be doing?

It might seem more straightforward not to express our emotions, especially around kids and teens. Adults often try to hide their feelings or bottle them up to appear stronger around their children. While this might seem like a good idea, bottling up our emotions can lead to explosions or not being able to access our emotions (both positive and negative). Thus, when we hide our emotions from our teens, we are actually doing them a disservice. Children and teens learn from the adults around them, and they learn how to regulate and manage their emotions from the adults they trust. If adults are modeling emotional regulation, teens will see that they, too, can feel and regulate their emotions.

So, how do we express our emotions in healthy ways?

There are some things we can do to model healthy expressions of emotion and show teens that it is ok to do the same.

  1. Validate and attend to their emotions calmly and consistently. When they experience big emotions, approach them with a patient and calm demeanor. Teens are very good at reading adults’ body language, so the best thing we can do is approach the situation from a place of calm.
  1. Learn to talk about your emotions and your teen’s emotions. One way we learn to express and regulate our emotions is by naming and discussing them. This could be as simple as a “I feel ______ when this happens” or “It sounds like you are feeling ________” for both positive and negative emotions.
  1. Model emotional expression. Just as we ask teens to discuss their emotions and how they are feeling, adults should model this same behavior. Thus, when an adult is feeling upset or happy or overwhelmed or joyful, they can and should talk about this and use the same feeling words they want the teens in their lives to use
  1. Model regulation and co-regulation. Everyone has a different “toolbox” of emotional regulation tools. Model these tools for your teens. When you feel overwhelmed, acknowledge your feelings and practice coping skills. Maybe this involves taking a few deep breaths before speaking, exercising, or journaling at the end of the day.
  1. Address the situation that is causing a negative emotion. If there is a trigger bringing something up for you, work to resolve this and address any differences.
  1. Practice healthy relaxation. One of the ways we manage emotions is by calming our nervous system and practicing effective relaxation techniques. Not only does this model promote healthy relaxation for the teens in our lives, but it also makes us more equipped to help them handle their emotions.

Feeling our emotions and showing them to the teens in our lives can be scary. Being emotional is vulnerable, and many are taught that we should never show our emotions. However, our emotions are crucial and necessary for happy and healthy relationships. And, like most things, it is a muscle that we can work on and practice, and so can your teen. 

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The Real Cost of Saying “Girl Drama” and “Boys Will Be Boys”

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By Amy Back, MSW, LSW, Youth First, Inc.

One thing I’ve learned from working with children and families is that the language we use matters. The words we choose — often in the heat of the moment — help shape how kids see themselves, understand relationships, and grow into the people they’re becoming.
Two phrases that come up often are “girl drama” and “boys will be boys.” While they may feel like harmless shorthand, they can unintentionally shut down conversations and reinforce outdated ideas about how kids “should” behave.

Let’s start with “girl drama.” When girls have friendship struggles, disagreements, or strong emotional reactions, it’s common to brush them off as drama. But that label can minimize what may actually be a very real emotional experience. It suggests girls are being overly sensitive or irrational when in reality, they’re learning how to communicate, set boundaries, and work through conflict, essential life skills that deserve support, not dismissal.

Similarly, when boys act impulsively or struggle with emotional regulation, we often hear, “Boys will be boys.” While it’s usually said with affection, the phrase can excuse behavior that needs attention and guidance. It also limits boys by sending the message that they aren’t capable of reflection, empathy, or self-control, when in fact, they are.

These kinds of labels can create double standards and missed opportunities for connection. Girls may feel like their emotions are “too much,” and boys may learn that theirs don’t matter. Neither message helps children grow into emotionally healthy adults.
The good news is that small changes in how we talk to (and about) kids can make a big difference. When we stay curious rather than putting on labels, we invite kids into real conversations — and that’s where growth happens.

Here are some takeaways on this subject for parents and guardians:

· Labels like “girl drama” and “Boys will be boys” may feel familiar, but they often overlook important emotional moments.

· Kids of all genders benefit from learning how to express feelings, take responsibility, and navigate relationships, and they need adult support to do that.

· You don’t have to have all the answers. Just slowing down, being curious, and listening without judgment can go a long way.

· The way we respond teaches kids that their emotions matter, and that they don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Amy Back, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at St. Wendel Catholic School in Posey County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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How Social Isolation Impacts Your Child’s Emotional Regulation

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By Jordan Evans, MSW, LSW – January 21, 2026 –

Emotional regulation is a child’s ability to understand, express, and manage their feelings in healthy ways. This skill begins developing early in life and continues to grow throughout childhood. Children do not learn emotional regulation on their own. Instead, they develop it through everyday interactions with parents, caregivers, peers, and their environment.

From a very young age, children look to adults to learn how emotions work. When parents comfort their child, name emotions, or help them calm down when they are upset, they are teaching important emotional skills. For example, when a parent acknowledges a child’s frustration and offers reassurance, the child begins to learn how to cope with strong feelings. Over time, these repeated moments help children manage emotions more independently.

Some children experience social isolation without parents realizing it. This can happen when children spend long periods using screens, are sent to their rooms for extended periods, or have limited opportunities to play with other children. When face-to-face interaction is reduced, children miss valuable opportunities to practice social and emotional skills in real-world situations. These missed experiences can affect how children learn to regulate their emotions.

Spending time with other children plays a key role in emotional development. Through play and occasional conflict, children experience excitement, anger, jealousy, and disappointment. Learning to share, take turns, and work through disagreements helps children build patience, flexibility, and self-control. When children don’t experience regular peer interaction, they may struggle more with frustration and emotional reactions.

Social isolation can also heighten negative emotions. Children who spend a lot of time alone may feel lonely, anxious, or bored, even if they cannot explain these feelings. Without regular interaction, children may have difficulty understanding what they are feeling and how to respond appropriately. This can lead to frequent tantrums, withdrawal from others, or trouble calming down after small challenges.

Language development is closely connected to emotional regulation. Talking with adults and other children helps children learn the words they need to describe their emotions. When children have limited social interaction, they may have fewer opportunities to hear and practice emotional language. As a result, children may become frustrated when they cannot express how they feel, leading to emotional outbursts.

The good news is that parents can make a meaningful difference. Warm and responsive relationships help protect children from the negative effects of social isolation. Simple daily actions such as maintaining routines, talking openly about feelings, offering comfort during difficult moments, and spending quality time together all support emotional growth. Creating opportunities for social play, such as playdates, family activities, or group programs, can also help children practice emotional and social skills.

To help your child learn to regulate their emotions, below are some suggested ways to engage with them:

  • Eat dinner as a family at the table without screens 
  • Read together
  • Play a board or card game
  • Play outside
  • Ask your child about their day
  • Ask your child about their future using open-ended questions
  • Be emotionally available to your child by limiting digital distractions
  • Limit screen time for all household members

By staying engaged, present, and intentional, parents can help their children build strong emotional regulation skills that support healthy relationships, confidence, and emotional well-being throughout their lives.

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Parents, Encourage Social Media Safety

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By Jenna Pauli, MSW, LCSW – January 14, 2026 –

The popularity of social media and its negative effect on children have become controversial subjects. A growing number of social media platforms are targeting very young children.

We are becoming more aware of the negative impacts these outlets and apps can have on a child’s brain, self-esteem, social skills, and overall mental health. It’s probably inevitable that your child will spend time on social media, but you should definitely encourage good social media hygiene to protect them and limit the potential risks.

Research shows that teen brains are especially vulnerable to specific social media features. When looking at how a child’s brain forms, we know that adolescent brain development begins before puberty, around the age of 10, and lasts through early adulthood. During this time, the brain is undergoing major changes, which increases a teen’s need for additional reassurance and attention from peers.

On social media, teens this age are hyper-aware of the likes, comments, and feedback on their posts; this can lead to negative self-esteem and overall negative feelings about themselves and their body image. By limiting the social media apps your child can utilize as well as limiting the amount of time they are allowed to spend on these sites, we can help teens learn healthy boundaries and self-control while promoting positive brain development.

Teens and young children also need specific guidance on how to use these sites appropriately. An important step is teaching children the impact their words can have on others, as well as how others view them. It’s also essential to identify trusted adults they can turn to at school and at home if they notice something concerning on social media or have received an inappropriate message.

Discuss the importance of privacy settings on these sites and why your child should only add individuals they have met in person. Have them show you their social media accounts regularly. Discuss what they see as well as the content they are posting. By having these boundaries in place and sticking to them, your child is more likely to make positive decisions.

Another important way you can help promote social media safety for your child is by modeling this on your own social media accounts. Avoid using your phone and devices when you are engaged with your family, such as during family dinners. Taking “social media holidays” can help ensure your child learns how to prioritize family time over spending time on social media. Recognize when social media is negatively affecting your child’s development. If social media is interfering with friendships, extracurricular activities, or schoolwork, boundaries need to be developed and enforced.

It is important that children are still seeking in-person social interactions and developing positive communication skills. Social media is also harming your child’s development if it is impacting their sleep or if your child lies about what they are doing on these sites.

There are so many wonderful connections being made with the rise of social media. We have the power of information at our fingertips and the ability to stay connected with friends and family all over the world. With the tips above, you can help your child enjoy the positive benefits and avoid the pitfalls of social media. 

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Establishing a Smooth Transition from Home to School

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By Lisa Glahn, MSW, LCSW – January 7, 2026 –

Returning to school after a break can be challenging for many students, especially after longer vacations such as winter or summer break. Typically, the longer a student is away from school, the more challenging it is for them to get back into their school routine. However, there are many tips and resources available for parents and guardians to ensure smooth transitions when returning to school, as well as to promote a more positive morning routine.

Establishing a strong and consistent morning routine is important. When you set a consistent schedule for a child, you are fostering their independence and helping them feel prepared for the day. Creating a visual schedule, such as a calendar, can be helpful. Repeating the routine over time allows the child to understand what each morning entails and establish habits.

Waking up early helps a child prepare for the day ahead. If they wake up late, a child may feel overwhelmed and rushed to make it to school on time. Eating breakfast before school may not be an option, and homework or an important school supply may be left behind. Ensuring a calm and controlled morning can help promote a more positive school day.

Creating a unique goodbye can make the transition more comforting and be a special moment between a student and their parent or guardian. Whether it’s a kiss, a hug, a high-five, a secret handshake, or more than one of these, a special goodbye can add some fun and extra love before beginning the school day.

Having a conversation about the school day ahead can also help make children feel more prepared. This time allows your child to share any concerns or worries they may have. Talking about what the school day will look like helps your child know what to expect and can help them feel more prepared.

Rewards and incentives can also help motivate students. Using a sticker chart allows a student to earn a small reward for completing their morning routine and walking into school each morning.

Allowing your student to bring a comfort item to school can offer a sense of security. It is a good idea to communicate with your child’s teacher before bringing along an item, but most teachers would allow a student to have a picture of their family in their locker or folder. During the car ride to school, the student may even have a special stuffed animal or blanket they can hold onto. This can also be included in the daily morning routine.

Lastly, offering encouragement and affirmations can go a long way in supporting a child. Encouraging your child to do their best every morning before school and providing positive affirmations will help them more than you know. This can help build confidence and allow their level of self-esteem to grow. Leaving notes in their lunchbox or backpack can serve as small touches that motivate them throughout the school day as well.

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Kids Benefit When We Ring in the New Year with Self-Care

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By Camryn Cater, MSW, LSW – December 31, 2025 –

When traveling by plane, we always hear the flight attendants say, “In an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on your child.” This is to ensure the adult’s safety so they can take care of the child accompanying them.

Parents tend to instinctively put their child’s well-being ahead of their own. But what happens when a parent does not take care of themselves first?

Stress is an emotional response to the demands of life, such as bills, school, work, caring for children, and all the additional curveballs life throws our way. Stress affects everyone differently, and it’s important to remember that not all stress is bad. However, long-term stress can negatively affect your health as well as the health of your children.

The number one stress-related mental health diagnosis is anxiety. Parental stress causes increased behavioral issues in children and can lead to poor performance in school. It can also result in children using less expressive language, exhibiting poor social skills, experiencing more mental health struggles, and having a more difficult time coping with change.

During my time as a Youth First Mental Health Professional, I have noticed that the behaviors of parents and guardians struggling with large amounts of stress are often mirrored by their children. For example, when parents are experiencing depression or undergoing tough times, their children may experience lack of motivation in school, poor grades, and often appear more tired. Some parents experiencing anxiety have children with anxious behaviors, such as lack of control over emotions, lack of sleep, and frequent stomach aches.

Understanding your stressors and prioritizing self-care can help create a better environment and a healthier lifestyle for you and your child. Practicing and teaching your child effective self-care is very important as they grow and mature. Children absorb and learn from your habits.

Parents and guardians can help their child overcome stress by modeling positive habits. Examples of self-care include exercising, taking a relaxing shower or bath, finding a new hobby, prioritizing sleep, replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk, and reaching out for support when needed.

Help your child identify their emotions and let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do. This allows them to learn healthy ways to react to those emotions when they arise. Topics children find stressful may seem trivial when compared to our adult stressors, but acknowledging a child’s stress is important for the child to feel heard and understood.

In the happiest of our childhood memories, our parents were happy too! Putting yourself first as a parent is not as selfish as it sounds. Committing to habits of self-care can create better well-being for yourself and a positive future for your child.

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Make Time to Connect with Your Child

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By Hannah Smith-Quirey, MSW, LCSW – December 22, 2025 –

When it comes to parenting, connection is essential. A strong bond helps your child feel loved, valued, seen, and heard. This doesn’t mean challenges and disagreements won’t arise – those moments are a normal part of any relationship. However, when a solid connection is in place, navigating difficulties together becomes easier and strengthens your relationship even more.  

Connection can feel challenging in today’s fast-paced world. Setting aside just 10-15 minutes each day to focus on your child – doing something they enjoy and simply being together – can make a meaningful difference. You can also nurture connection during everyday routines, such as getting ready for school, bedtime, cooking dinner, or car rides to and from activities. These ordinary moments often create the strongest bonds.

There are so many ways to build a strong connection with your child. Laughing and playing together helps both you and your child release the everyday worries and stresses of the day. These moments don’t need to be structured – let your child choose the activity and take turns leading. Whether it’s a game, a creative project, or simple play, following your child’s lead shows them they are valued and strengthens your bond.  

You can also strengthen your bond through physical connection, such as hugs or bedtime snuggles. Make the most of small moments – like brief conversations at bedtime or while riding in the car – to check in and connect. Be open and accept your child’s feelings and emotions. Big feelings can be overwhelming at times, but children need a safe space to express them. Welcome the emotions that may be hiding beneath anger or challenging behavior. Focus on listening and showing empathy rather than trying to fix the feeling. Simple responses like, “I hear that you feel sad about…,” “Tell me more about that…,” or “That sounds like it would be hard,” can go a long way in helping your child feel understood.  

Technology can sometimes stand in the way of connecting with our children. By slowing down, putting aside your phone, turning off the television, and truly listening, you can make space to be fully present. These small, intentional choices can open the door to powerful moments of connection.  

Connection matters. This isn’t meant to create guilt, but to invite us to be more intentional about being present with our children. While scheduling time to connect is valuable, some of the most meaningful moments happen spontaneously – when we pause, notice and engage in the everyday moments we already share.  

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Holiday Stress and Your Anxious Child

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By Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW – December 17, 2025 –

It’s that time of year: no school, sweet treats, presents, and parties…You might think this is every kid’s dream! If you have a child with anxiety, however, you know this combination can be a huge trigger.

While a long school vacation might feel like a relief for many kids, the break in routine can be difficult for those with anxiety. The parties, loud noises, and bright lights can create sensory overload for anxious kids.

For children who struggle with social anxiety or who are simply more introverted, the constant activity and socializing can be very overwhelming. To minimize meltdowns, tantrums, and stress for the whole family, work on coping ahead of time by employing some simple strategies.

  1. Identify the warning signs. Talk with your child about how their body feels when they are anxious. Are they experiencing sweating, a racing heart, or butterflies in their stomach? Pay attention to your child’s behavior during anxious times. Some warning signs may be:

    a. Excessive tears or clinging to parents
    b. Isolating
    c. Psychosomatic complaints (headaches, stomach aches, random pains that cannot be explained)
    • Create coping strategies. Once you and your child understand the warning signs, know what to do to decrease anxiety before it spirals. The more a child practices these coping skills, the better they will become. Make sure your child’s favorite coping tools go with you to events and outings. Some easy skills to try are:

      • Journaling
      • Music
      • Art expression
      • Exercise
      • Deep breathing
      • Fidgets or stress balls
    • Set expectations. Let your child know the schedule for the day. Describe the events you will be attending, who will be there, and what your child may enjoy while there. This helps your child feel more in control and less anxious.
    • Make time to reconnect. With the holidays full of busy schedules and lots of family and friends, it can be hard to have meaningful one-on-one time with your child. An anxious kid craves that slow-paced rest and relaxation time spent with you as their safety net. Find time to recharge with your child each day, talk through how they are feeling, and identify any needs they have.

    Children thrive on routine. Finding ways to maintain some form of normalcy during this chaotic time can be extremely beneficial for an anxious child. Try to ensure your child gets plenty of restful sleep and eats nutritious meals, even if bedtimes and mealtimes shift to accommodate events.

    Remember, you are your child’s best advocate. If there is an event that just does not work for your family, it is ok to maintain boundaries and not attend.

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    Ascension St. Vincent Evansville Awards $20,000 to Youth First

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    Grant to Provide Mental Health Support and Substance Misuse Prevention for Youth in Evansville Catholic Diocese Schools

    [Evansville, IN] Youth First, Inc. is celebrating a $20,000 grant award from Ascension St. Vincent Evansville for Youth First mental health services and prevention programs in partner schools throughout the Catholic Diocese of Evansville.  

    The check presentation was hosted at Mater Dei High School to represent the 27 Youth First partner schools in the Catholic Diocese of Evansville. Youth First’s impactful work would not be possible without tremendous support from community partners like Ascension St. Vincent Evansville.

    Ascension’s mission of delivering compassionate, personalized care to all, with special attention to those most vulnerable, aligns with Youth First’s mission of strengthening youth and families by providing evidence-based programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success.

    Alex Chang, Ascension President, South Region, says, “Ascension St. Vincent’s collaboration with Youth First strengthens the safety net around students in the Evansville Catholic Diocese. By supporting Youth First’s mental health services within the parochial schools, this partnership ensures that young people have the guidance, resources, and encouragement they need to thrive—academically, emotionally, and spiritually.”  

    The grant to Youth First will allow for continued mental health support for students in partner Catholic Diocese of Evansville schools. Across its service footprint, Youth First partners with 130 schools in 14 Indiana counties to embed substance misuse prevention programs and over 100 skilled mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers) in school buildings, where they provide caring mental health support for students and prevention coaching for parents and teachers. Youth First Mental Health Professionals build caring relationships, foster readiness for positive change, and boost resiliency, along with other valuable life skills.

    Youth First’s positive work and strategies are driving growth, with more schools seeking their valuable expertise to address the growing need for mental health support for students. As Mater Dei High School Principal Darin Knight says, “For the past 25 years, Mater Dei has been truly blessed by the support Youth First has provided our students. Valorie Dassel, LCSW, LCAC, has faithfully served as our Youth First Mental Health Professional, positively impacting hundreds—if not thousands—of students through her expertise and compassion. From mental health challenges to family struggles and substance abuse, she helps our students navigate real-world issues and develop the values and resilience they need for adulthood. We are deeply grateful to community partners like Ascension for recognizing the importance of these programs in our Catholic schools and continuing to support Youth First.”

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