Why Do We Need Manners?

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By Katherine S. Baker, LCSW, January 29, 2019 –

It appears to me that good manners seem to be lacking these days.  Many of us were taught from childhood how to be polite.  We learn to say please and thank you, how to be respectful to our elders, how to be nice to other children and animals.

However, as our society has become more mobile, fast paced, and “I want it now!” the use of manners seems to have decreased.  With the rise in divorce rates, a prevalence of drug and alcohol abuse, and increasing world violence; many families are struggling to survive and thrive.  Manners are tossed aside.

Take notice, adults having temper tantrums in the fast food drive through, young and old not saying please and thank you but demanding and expecting others to treat them as a King or Queen.

Being rude and insensitive seems to be pretty common these days.  Without good manners people get offended and hurt.  Communication breaks down.

As human beings; we make mistakes, get in a hurry, and sometimes forget how to be nice in the daily rat race.  It can be easy to slip up and accidentally cut off another driver or rush through the door without noticing someone else waiting to go through.

Being able to say you are sorry and mean it can heal many a wrong.  The importance of good manners seems obvious to me but not to others who want to bully, demand, and want entitlement for things not earned.

It is important to acknowledge and appreciate good manners from others.  Give positive feedback when you see someone doing the right thing.

Be a role model for good behavior.  Remember young and old are watching how you respond and manage situations.  Manners create expectations for how people will act.

Would you give yourself a thumbs up or thumbs down to these statements?

  1. I try to be polite and considerate all the time.
  2. I say please and thank you.
  3. I use the Golden Rule (treat others like you would like to be treated).
  4. I keep my word.
  5. I turn off my cell phone in meetings, banks, doctor’s office, etc.

Tips for adults interested in improving children’s social behavior include the following:

  • Stress to children the importance of treating others the same way they like to be treated.
  • Help children understand the harm caused by thoughtless, unkind words and actions.
  • Role-play difficult situations for children in order to demonstrate appropriate responses.
  • Establish a politeness policy for basic manners.
  • Teach children the importance of thinking of others, like writing thank you notes.

Manners have changed a lot through the years and are still changing.  They are more relaxed than they were 100 years ago.   Our society needs manners to function in a healthy and productive manner.

The lack of manners and self-respect does not seem to be working.  Use your good manners- teach your children and let’s strive for a healthier community, city, state, and world.

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Know the Facts: National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week is Jan. 22-27

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By Diane Braun, Jan. 22, 2019 –

When asked which of these is a symptom of alcohol overdose, which would you choose?

  1. Irregular breathing   B.) Confusion    C.) Vomiting   D.) All of these.

The answer is D, all of these.

January 22-27 is National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week (NDAFW).  The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has been sponsoring National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week since 2010 to educate youth and shatter the myths about substance use and addiction. 

NDAFW happens every year in January and is a week-long series of educational events that link teens with scientific experts.  Since its inception, NDAFW has continued to grow, with more than 2100 events held throughout 50 states and 35 countries last year. Activities focus on general drug use or on specific trends of concern in individual communities.

NIDA has produced a wide variety of resources for organizers of events and promotional activities, including resources for parents and educators. Classroom activities specific to the week and other year-round lessons on drugs and alcohol, including lesson plans, are available on the NDAFW website. 

Free booklets with science-based facts about drugs and alcohol are available and include NIDA’s most in-demand teen publications. New this year is the “Opioids: Facts for Teens” booklet.

An on-line chat with National Institute of Health scientists and science writers is available on Thursday, January 24 from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm EST.  Teens in schools around the country can submit substance use questions in an anonymous forum.  Registration is available on the NDAFW website. In previous years, more than 50 schools participated with more than 10,000 questions submitted.

Youth can be curious about substances they see and hear about on social media. Misperceptions can happen when they only follow certain views.  Making sure your child’s questions are answered is vital to keeping them safe. 

The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids recommends:

  • Always keep conversations open and honest.
  • Come from a place of love, even when you’re having tough conversations.
  • Balance positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement.
  • Keep in mind that teachable moments come up all of the time — be mindful of natural places for the conversation to go in order to broach the topic of drugs and alcohol.

Take this opportunity to educate yourself and your child about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Begin a dialogue so they will feel free to come to you with any future questions or concerns.

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Youth in a Digital World Pros, Cons & Effects of Social Media

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To be held Tuesday, January 22nd, 6:00 – 8:00 pm

Crossroads Christian Church Chapel, 10800 Lincoln Ave., Newburgh, IN

Youth First, Inc., Warrick County Cares, and Evansville Christian Schools (ECS) are joining to begin a discussion about the pros, cons and effects of social media on our children and youth.  According to the Pew Research Center, in 2018, 95 percent of teens report they have a smartphone or access to one and 45 percent say they are online “almost constantly.” 

Moderator Gretchen Muchnick, (ECS School Board Member, FC Tucker Emge Realty VP of Marketing, & WFIE News Personality), will guide a panel of local experts to provide insight to parents, youth workers and other adults who want to know how social media and screen time are impacting our children and teens.    

Panelists:

  • David McClary, ECS Campus Principal (grades 8 – 11)
  • Mark Wickersham, ECSCampus Principal (grades 6 – 7)
  • Officer Dale Naylor, Warrick County Reserve Deputy Officer
  • Laura Keys, Youth First Director of Social Work
  • Dr. James Schroeder, VP of Psychology, Evansville Easterseals Rehabilitation Center
  • ECS Students – Kira Johnson, Junior, and Berkeley Neikirk, Sophomore


Local teens will share the ins and outs of the most popular apps such as SnapChat, Instagram, and Omegle, and how adults can keep children and teens safe while online.

The media is invited to attend.

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Helping Children Cope with Upsetting News

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By Jaclyn Durnil, MSW, January 15, 2019 –

Telling a child that someone has died can be difficult. Most children are aware of death, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they understand it.

Children may have seen someone die on television or in a movie, or some of their friends may have lost a loved one.

Experiencing grief can be a confusing and scary process for kids.  Grieving is a set of emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and physical reactions that can vary depending on the individual and the nature of the loss.

During the grieving process children may have a difficult time processing the actual event and coping with the loss of the loved one. One of the primary feelings can be fear – fear of not knowing what can happen in the future or fear of the unknown.

Some children might have a more difficult time with the grieving process. It’s very important to be patient and understanding. Long-term denial of death or avoiding grief can be unhealthy for children. Grief can easily resurface and cause more severe problems.

Children experiencing grief may exhibit these types of behaviors:

  • Changes in sleep or eating patterns
  • Regression to younger behaviors, such as separation anxiety
  • Expressing a desire to be with the deceased person
  • Lack of interest in playing with friends
  • Changes in grades or school behavior
  • Loss of interest in activities that once excited them

Children are constantly learning and growing and may revisit the grief process several times. Events such as birthdays, graduation, holidays, etc. may be difficult for children at times.  There is no “normal” period of time for someone to grieve.

Simply being present and attentive to a child who is grieving will help as they express their feelings.  At times children may worry about how their parents or caregivers are adjusting. Children may find it safer and easier to talk with someone else such as a teacher, friend, Youth First Social Worker in their school, etc.

No one can prevent a child’s grief, but simply being a source of stability and comfort can be very helpful.  Very young children often do not understand that death is a permanent thing and may they think that a dead loved one will eventually come back.

For many children, the death of a pet will be their first experience with grief. They build a connection with their pet that is very strong, and when they no longer have that bond, it can be extremely upsetting. It is important to let the child grieve for their pet instead of immediately replacing the pet with a new animal.

During that period is an opportunity to teach the child about death and how to deal with grieving in a healthy and emotionally supportive way.  At times, children may seem unusually upset as they are unable to cope with grief, which can lead to adjustment disorder.

Adjustment disorder can be a serious and upsetting condition that some children develop after going through a difficult event. If a child is not recovering from a loss in a healthy way, it is important to consult with your child’s doctor.

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Music on the Brain

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By Callie Sanders, LSW, January 8, 2019 –

Music is a universal language. It is the gateway for optimal brain health, longevity, and happiness.

In the world of research, neuromusicology explores the nervous system’s response to music and how it activates every part of the brain. Studies performed on musicians reveal significant brain health and well-being.

The largest fiber bundle in the brain, the corpus callosum, is said to be larger and more symmetrical in musicians. It is responsible for connecting the right and left hemispheres, allowing communication between both sides. It is also involved in several other functions of our body, such as eye movement, vision, and sensory perception.

The lack of musical ability does not keep a person from enjoying its benefits. Listening to upbeat music can have positive effects on mood. It naturally helps to lower the stress hormone cortisol. On the contrary, sad music has benefits too, both cathartically and revolutionary, that increase self-awareness.

Music also stimulates the formation of brain chemicals and hormones. One chemical particularly stimulated is the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is responsible for the “feel good” state. It also stimulates the hormone oxytocin, which helps us bond with and trust others. So continue to play, listen, and enjoy music whenever possible.

Another important area of life where music is beneficial is at work. Not only does music ignite more creativity and productivity, but when employees are allowed to pick the music, productivity and task completion accelerate, stress lowers, and work is more manageable.

The universal language of music, as a whole, supports social behaviors such as empathy, kindness, and cooperation. Children should be involved with music as much as possible. Encourage your child to join the band or choir at school.  It’s a great way to boost self-esteem, self-awareness, and a sense of community.

Because I am part of a musically inclined family, music has and will always be a staple in my life. I encourage you to listen to genres that aren’t familiar to you and play an instrument you are familiar with or learn a new one. Encourage your child to do so as well.

Happy listening and have fun playing!

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Kendrick Foundation Awards $15,160 to Youth First, Inc. to Support Morgan County Students

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The Kendrick Foundation has awarded a $15,160 grant to Youth First, Inc. to strengthen the social and emotional well-being of students in Mooresville and Martinsville schools. This investment will help Youth First expand its highly impactful model of prevention to reach more youth and families in Morgan County.

In partnership with school districts, Youth First embeds Master’s level social workers to become specialized mentors for students and prevention coaches for parents and teachers. Youth First Social Workers build caring relationships, foster readiness for positive change, and boost resiliency along with other valuable life skills. Research shows these are the keys to preventing addiction, suicide, violence, school dropouts and more.

Kendrick Foundation President Greg McKelfresh sums up the Foundation’s motivation for supporting Youth First:  “Children in Morgan County are our greatest asset in building a brighter future for this community. However, so many of them are struggling due to circumstances out of their control, whether it’s poverty, homelessness, addictions, mental illness, etc. We need solutions to help them and their families break these destructive cycles. We’re excited to partner with Youth First as they provide additional people and resources to tackle these issues head-on and build stronger, healthier and self-reliant families.”

“The Kendrick Foundation’s investment is critical to growing Youth First’s life-changing work in Morgan County. Working together, we can protect and heal the hearts of more young people and their families,” said Parri O. Black, Youth First’s President & CEO.

Youth First launches services this month at Paul Hadley Middle School in Mooresville with support from the Kendrick Foundation, Home Bank and the school district.  Youth First began serving Martinsville’s Bell Academy in August with funding from the Lilly Endowment’s Comprehensive Counseling Initiative, the Governor’s Director of Drug Prevention, Treatment, and Enforcement, and the school district.

“Kendrick’s grant goes a long way toward helping match Home Bank’s $30,000 challenge gift, but we must still raise another $15,000,” said Black. “We invite all community members to support Youth First’s life-saving work.”

Gifts designated for Youth First in Morgan County may be made online at youthfirstinc.org/morgan or by mail to 111 SE Third Street, Suite 405, Evansville, IN, 47708.  To learn more, contact Regional Development Officer Adam Novello at 574-286-3093 or anovello@youthfirstinc.org.

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Catching Z’s

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By Jenna Whitfield, MSW, January 2, 2019 –

Is your teen getting enough sleep? If not, it could be impacting their life in negative ways. According to webmd.com, lack of sleep is one of the top sources of stress for teens. The recommended amount of sleep in order to function and perform well is 9 to 9.5 hours of sleep.

A whopping 91 percent of teens do not achieve the required hours. Although the majority of teens get less than recommended amounts of sleep, almost 75 percent of parents are unaware that their children are sleep-deprived due to various reasons. The question most likely coming to mind for most parents is, “why is my teen not getting enough sleep?”

The first situation keeping students away from a restful night is a jam-packed schedule. While being involved in extracurricular activities can have many benefits for a teen’s social development and mental well-being, there are also downfalls. If they are constantly moving from activity to activity while trying to juggle school work, family time, and friends, they may have limited time to sleep.

The second factor playing a role in sleep deprivation is having a digital device near their bed. It’s true that we live in a technology-driven world, but your teen’s screen time could be cutting into much-needed sleep time.

I’ve had students share that they even go as far as keeping the sound turned on their phones at night so they can wake up if someone sends them a message. Others have shared that they regularly play video games past midnight.

These behaviors are becoming more and more popular, but oftentimes teens do not realize how their screen time is impacting sleep. Encouraging your teen to limit screen time, especially at night, can help establish healthy routines.

There is much research on how sleep deprivation affects teens. They are in a crucial developmental period and sleep is extremely important to their brain development and well-being.

When a teen does not receive an adequate amount of sleep per night there is a higher probability he/she will experience one or more of the following consequences:

  • Increased risk of injury
  • Inability to self-regulate behaviors
  • Decreased ability to focus in school
  • Increased risk of depression
  • Increased risk of drug or alcohol use
  • Increased risk of obesity

Don’t worry! While there are a number of potential consequences, there are also a number of symptoms to warn the teen and his/her guardian that they may be facing sleep deprivation.

Behaviors to look out for include, but are not limited to:

  • Difficulty concentrating
  • More easily displays aggression/ anger
  • Misses more days of school than normal
  • Exhibits laziness
  • Falls asleep in class or while doing homework
  • Sleeps 2 or hours later on weekends
  • Naps for more than 45 minutes regularly

If these symptoms are making you think of a specific teen, it may be the time to talk about the importance of sleep. Convincing a teen to limit their screen time or to take a break from their busy schedules might be challenging, but in the end everyone can benefit!

If you need advice on how to start this conversation at home, reach out to a Youth First Social Worker or a counselor in your child’s school.  Remember, sleep is important for everyone, so make sure to take care of your teen and yourself!

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