Together We Can Make a Difference

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By Holly Branam, LCSW – May 26, 2020 –

We are living in a unique time in history. Schools have been closed, events are cancelled and businesses are just now beginning to reopen their doors. We have experienced the loss of so many familiar things. Routines have changed and aspects of our lives are delayed indefinitely.

Although we are going through this pandemic together, our individual experiences are vastly different. Some of us are working outside the home, some are working inside the home and some have lost their jobs.

We may be overwhelmed juggling work and educating/entertaining our children or isolated, living alone, and desperate for human contact. There are some individuals who have directly experienced the loss of a loved one or reside in areas where the virus has spread quickly, while others are living in areas that have barely been affected.

As we begin the process of returning to a new normal, each person is going to have an opinion on the right way to move forward. There will be varying levels of comfort based on our individual experiences and location. My sister lives in a large city that has been greatly affected and plans to shelter in place for months, possibly. However, I live in a small town with less than a handful of cases and feel more comfortable venturing out.

As we begin to make plans for the future, my sister and I have started talking about what we are individually comfortable doing and have agreed to respect each other’s opinions no matter how different they may be. We love each other and value our relationship. That connection and support is more important than our individual opinions.

As humans, we were created to be in community with each other, and supportive relationships help us cope. Social media and a variety of other online options have made connecting possible during this difficult situation, and I feel blessed that we live in a time where this is possible.

Unfortunately, as I scroll through social media I am saddened and discouraged by the unkind posts I see. We need each other, and unkind words only work to separate us.  Our energy is wasted on panic, blame, regret or anger. So instead, let’s focus our energy on kindness, caring, giving, and sharing.

These feelings of uncertainty won’t last forever, but the words we speak to others can have a lasting impact. As we move forward there is so much to be done. People are in need and we can put our compassion into action. We can spread kindness, listen to others, offer support, provide comfort and encourage one another.

We need to come out on the other side of this mentally healthy as well as physically healthy. We can’t control the choices others make, and trying to do so only creates frustration and distance.  So let’s let go of what we can’t control and give each other a little more grace.

I was playing a game with my daughter the other day. She wasn’t sure if the number she was looking at was a 6 or a 9, and I realized that perspective is everything. Frequently we see things differently depending on how we are oriented to the world around us. Beyond our current situation, we have a lifetime of experiences and beliefs that have shaped us.

We will all have different ways to process and handle stress and change. Let’s begin to be aware of how our words and actions affect others and try to understand their perspective. We can find peace by reminding ourselves that people are imperfect and are doing the best they can with what they know.

Someday we may look back on this time and have all the answers, but right now we are just trying to make our way through. We are in uncharted waters, so let’s be kind. Together we can make a difference.

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Wisdom Instead of Wine Jokes

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By Valorie Dassel, LCSW, LCAC – May 19, 2020 –

All of our lives have changed with the pandemic, guidelines for social distancing and stay-at-home orders. We have been challenged to find new routines and a new normal during these unprecedented times.

While many of us have met the challenge with positive adjustments, some have also been challenged with bad habits easing their way into our routines.   

Drinking alcohol is definitely one activity that has increased during the stay-at-home order. According to the University of Southern California News, alcohol sales have increased by 55 percent in late March 2020 in comparison to sales for the same time period in 2019.

The challenges of staying at home during the pandemic include heightened fear of illness, increased stress and boredom. Some people may cope by drinking more alcohol. When we look on social media it is evident that many have turned occasional social drinking into an “every day is Saturday” mentality.

Recognizing why we are drinking more and becoming aware of our increased use of alcohol will prompt many people to pull back to a healthier normal. Unfortunately, this realization is not the case for all. Individuals in recovery from alcoholism must meet each day as a new challenge.

Dr. Stephen Wyatt, Medical Director of Addiction Medicine at Atrium Health, shares an analogy of how the disease of alcoholism causes neurobiological changes in the brain. He relates the normal brain’s need for oxygen as something an individual doesn’t process and think about, but rather just automatically fights for air to breathe.

In a similar manner, the individual whose brain structure has been changed due to alcoholism fights for the alcohol automatically to provide what it senses the body needs. With therapy and medication, just as in many other diseases, this brain response can be changed to allow the person to move into recovery from alcoholism. 

We must all be sensitive to the challenges that face each person in recovery. In addition, their families have also suffered through the process or, in fact, are dealing with a family member in the middle of active alcoholism.

For many of us not personally affected by alcoholism, someone who is drunk (or something they did while drinking) may be something to joke about. Unfortunately, alcohol use is never funny to the family members of the alcoholic; rather, it is often embarrassing or shameful. To the recovered alcoholic who nearly lost family or may have actually lost a relationship due to their alcoholism, an incident such as this may bring them back to those feelings of shame and embarrassment.

Additionally, someone in recovery makes a choice every day to stay sober. A comment or social media post mean to poke fun at ourselves – making light of drinking excessively, day drinking, or any normalizing of alcohol use during the pandemic – may potentially be a trigger to someone in recovery.

This is a time for us to support our families and community. Most of us know someone who has been affected by alcoholism, and we definitely celebrate those who have conquered and found themselves in recovery. Be mindful of how we can support them, and empathize with just how difficult it may be to be exposed to unintentional comments that may trigger old habits.

For information about Alcoholics Anonymous and to locate a meeting near you, please visit www.aa.org.

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If You See Something, Say Something

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By Jordan Beach, LSW – May 12, 2020 –

It’s not pleasant to think about, but unfortunately many children are abused or neglected every day, sometimes by their parents or guardians.

In most states teachers are mandated reporters of child abuse or neglect. In some states, including Indiana, every single person is considered a mandated reporter. That means any person who has reason to believe a child is a victim of abuse or neglect must report it to the proper authorities.

With school buildings closed, Youth First wants to remind all adults that if you see something, it’s important to say something. We can all help care for kids.

With school letting out suddenly in March, many things needed to happen quickly to ensure the success of our students. People came together to make sure students had materials necessary to complete work and meal service was coordinated for students who needed it.

One thing that has gotten far less attention, however, is the safety of students now that they don’t have a safe haven in their schools. This brings up a huge concern regarding increased incidents of abuse and neglect going undetected and therefore not being reported to the appropriate authorities.

During the school day students come in contact with teachers, nurses, counselors, social workers and other key school personnel who have been trained to identify warning signs of abuse and neglect. When students are out of school these warning signs can go unseen or be overlooked. Now it is time to call on the community to help us ensure the safety and well-being of our children.

Per the Department of Child Services (DCS) website, in the months of March and April 2019, there were 42,067 child abuse or neglect reports made to DCS in Indiana. Fast forward to 2020, and during those same months only 30,860 reports were made. That is a difference of 11,207 reports. In a perfect world we could imagine there are just far less reports to be made, but the reality is that without the supervision of school personnel, a lot of these incidents are going unnoticed.

As a reminder, Indiana is a mandated reporting state. This means that any adult who knows of or suspects child abuse or neglect is mandated by the state to report this information to DCS. I understand that the thought of making a report can be unnerving. However, these children are waiting on a caring adult to step in and make the call to help them.

Typically, reports are called in by people who support students daily at school; with school buildings closed right now, these same students are waiting for their community to support them. If you suspect abuse or neglect, it is your responsibility to make the call. It is DCS’s responsibility to decide if the child is in fact in danger.

To make a child abuse or neglect report you will need to call the Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline at 1-800-800-5556. You will be connected with a person from the statewide call center. You will give them the information you have and answer a series of questions. You may not know all of the answers to these questions, and that is fine. At the end of the call they will let you know if they are going to screen this call out or pass the information on to the county office in which the child resides.

In an ideal world, DCS calls wouldn’t be necessary. Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in. Kids are vulnerable. We are asking everyone to work together to ensure the safety of our children. If you see something, please say something. Report it to the proper authorities.

Click here to watch Jordan’s video on this topic.

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Talk. They Hear You.

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By Grace Wilson – May 12, 2020 –

Have you talked with your kids about the dangers of underage drinking? It can certainly be a difficult topic to navigate.

You may ask yourself all sorts of questions: When is the right time to have the conversation? How will it go? Will they think I’m accusing them of drinking alcohol? And here’s the big question: Will they even listen?

The truth is, our kids are hearing us whether they show us active listening skills or not.

Right now many of us are staying home and spending more time with our families during the pandemic. Parents have more opportunities to have a conversation about underage drinking with their kids. 

“Talk. They Hear You.” is an underage drinking prevention campaign developed by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).  Approximately 88,000 Americans die from an alcohol-attributed cause each year. This makes alcohol the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States.

The goal of this campaign is to provide parents and caregivers with the resources to discuss the hard topics such as underage drinking and substance misuse. As parents, we play a very significant role in whether or not our children will experiment with drugs and alcohol. If we are equipped with the resources to tackle these tough conversations, we are helping set our children up to be drug and alcohol free.

Even if you have young children, it is never too early to start the conversation around alcohol and other substances. Simple, short conversations, not one that is long and drawn out, can be very helpful in keeping your child engaged and not tuning you out.

Remember, a conversation goes both ways, so make sure to give your child a chance to talk as well. These little talks can happen in the car, while watching TV, or at dinner. You should keep these conversations going as your child moves through the stages of adolescence and adapt the conversation to your child’s age. A conversation at the age of 8 will and should be different than when they are 16. It is also important to clearly state your rules and expectations around alcohol and other substances during these talks.

You can find more information about “Talk. They Hear You.” on the Youth First website at youthfirstinc.org. You will find information about the campaign, tips on having the conversation, different messages and ads about “Talk. They Hear You.”, and a link to the SAMSHA website for even more resources. It is important to take time and research the facts before you start talking with your child about substance use. In doing this, you will be better prepared for any questions they may ask.

Make the most of this time at home with your children and start the conversation about underage drinking.  

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