Guiding Your Child Through the Journey of Loss

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By Hailey Hagan, MSW, LSW – July 30. 2025 –

Coping with a loss, whether it’s a loved one or a pet, can be challenging for anyone, but helping your child navigate the complex emotions that come with it can be particularly daunting. As a parent or guardian, it is often hard to see the little ones we love and care for in pain. Here are some gentle ways to support your child during a time of grief:

  1. Foster Open Communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their emotions openly. Encourage them to share memories and feelings, and assure them it’s okay to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to confusion.
  1. Share Stories and Memories: Celebrate the life of the person or pet they lost by sharing fond memories and stories. Reminiscing about happy times can bring comfort and help your child remember the positive impact their loved one had on their life.
  1. Validate Their Feelings: Let your child know their feelings are valid and normal. They need to understand that grief takes different forms and everyone processes it in their own unique way and at their own pace.
  1. Maintain Routine and Stability at Home: In times of loss, routine can provide a sense of stability for children. Stick to familiar schedules and activities to create a reassuring environment for your child.
  1. Encourage Healthy Coping Skills: Assist your child in finding healthy ways to express their grief. This could include using art or play as a vehicle for expressing painful emotions. Other healthy ways of coping include spending time in nature and engaging in shared family activities such as hiking, watching movies, playing board games, etc.
  1. Seek Professional Support if Needed: If your child is struggling to cope with the loss, consider seeking professional help. You can reach out to their school’s Youth First Mental Health Professional (a list is available at youthfirstinc.org) or your child’s family physician for additional support and resources.

Helping a child cope with loss is an ongoing journey. Hold space for your child and listen to them. By providing love, understanding, and the necessary tools to express their emotions, you can help your child navigate the path of healing with resilience and strength.

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Supporting Post-Divorce Families

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By Kelly McClarnon, MSW, LCSW – July 25, 2025 –

As an adult, can you imagine having to move from one house to another weekly, or even more frequently, while juggling schedules, belongings, and changes in rules and expectations? 

I imagine you are thinking how difficult this would be. Yet we expect children to do this without much thought after a parent’s separation or divorce. 

As a school social worker, providing emotional support for children experiencing the aftermath of divorce is a common occurrence in my office. When children experience the break-up of their parents’ marriage, not only do they feel a range of emotions, including sadness, shame, anger, relief, uncertainty, anxiety and fear, but they also often feel “out of sorts” and discombobulated. 

Transitions can be difficult for any child, but moving from one home to another weekly (or more) can feel overwhelming. It is common for a child to accidentally leave an item at the other parent’s home or forget to bring something when going from one house to the other. 

After working with many students ranging from ages 3-13 regarding the effects of divorce, I’ve listed some helpful tips to ensure the transition from one home to another runs more smoothly and the child feels supported:

  1. Have a check-in as a family as soon as the child arrives at your home. Gently review expectations and allow them to express how things went while they were in the other parent’s care. Children do best when they know what to expect and have an opportunity to share what’s on their mind in a judgment-free environment.
  2. Keep clothing, hygiene products and other items at each parent’s home so the child doesn’t have to pack a bag every time they transition and need only bring minimal items.
  3. Ask them what can help the transitions be less stressful for them. Sometimes, it’s small acts from parents that make a big impact.
  4. Do not talk negatively about the other parent. Your child is a part of them and they take this as criticism, which can negatively affect their self-esteem.
  5. Discuss co-parenting strategies with the other parent. Routines and expectations should be similar across home environments. For instance, if this month’s chores at dad’s house are doing the dishes, keep the same schedule in your home. If bedtime is at 8:30 at mom’s house, make that the routine at dad’s house as well.
  6. Create a structured and predictable environment in both homes.
  7. If they want to call the other parent or they don’t feel like talking, respect your child’s feelings. It’s not personal. No one wants to feel obligated to call someone every night at a certain time.
  8. Make visual checklists that children can see before transitioning so they remember the things they need to pack before leaving your home.
  9. Expect a “transition period” for the first few hours they are back in your home. Be gentle with them, as this is not easy on top of grieving the divorce itself.
  10. Do not hesitate to seek professional help with coparenting, if needed, or therapy for your child to express themselves in a neutral space to process their emotions.

Divorce is hard, not only for adults but also for the children who don’t have a choice in the matter. They must suffer the consequences of their parents’ decisions. This is why it is so important to work together to provide stability, security and routine across households to minimize the impact divorce has on your child.

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Help Your Child Avoid Negative Self-Talk

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By Nolan Miller, MSW, LCSW – July 22, 2025 –

As a school-based mental health professional, I have observed that many students come into my office and talk negatively about themselves. They might say things like, “I have no friends. No one likes me. I am a loser.” When it comes to their schoolwork, they might say, “I am just dumb. I will never learn or understand this.”

This type of self-talk can be very harmful to anyone, but especially children. This leads them to have a fixed mindset where they firmly believe the negative things they say. They might stop playing with their friends at recess because, in their mind, no one wants to be their friend. They also might struggle in class due to not believing in themselves when it comes to completing homework or taking tests.

I have come to believe that most of the time, what these students are saying is not true. Quite often, negative self-talk arises out of frustration or anxiety about something else. One of the exercises I use with my students in this situation is to have them look in the mirror and say five positive things about themselves. I encourage them to do this outside of the office as well. This can establish a more positive pattern in their everyday lives, promoting a better mindset.

Another exercise that parents or guardians can do at home is to catch their child when they talk negatively towards themselves. Encourage them to see how the negative thoughts they are having are not true. Remind them of the amazing things they’ve accomplished in the past and of their potential to do good things in the future.

Journaling is another activity that can help. This can be done in many ways, but one exercise is to have your child write down positive affirmations every day when they wake up or go to bed. Another possibility is to have them write down a negative thought they’ve expressed and help them argue against it, with evidence to show that the thought is wrong.

Another important way to combat negative self-talk is for parents to lead by example. It is often difficult in today’s world to see the positive. However, showing our children that we struggle with this as well can help them not feel so alone. Working as a team will allow them to know that there are situations in today’s world that even adults might not fully understand.

If negative self-talk continues to be an issue with your child, reach out to your school’s Youth First Mental Health Professional or an outside mental health professional. Asking for help is always a step in the right direction.

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Parents Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup

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By Amber Nunaley, MSW, LCSW – July 11, 2025 –

Let’s get straight to the point. Being a parent is hard. Parenting can mean poor sleep, burnout, and lots of stress. It often requires putting all your needs aside to make sure your child succeeds in life. It is not an easy task, and it really does take a village to raise a child.  

After the kids go to bed, you finally have time to unwind. What do you do? Read a book, watch a TV series, or go to sleep? When do you take time out of the busy family schedule to do something for yourself? I think most parents and caregivers would say there is not enough time in the day.

However, pouring from an empty cup is not helpful to anyone, especially your children. Let’s talk about some ways that you can practice self-care so you can better manage stress, become more present with your children, and overall feel better.

With soccer, ballet, football, band, and many other extracurricular activities available to kids, there’s a laundry list of practices, games, recitals, etc. to accompany each commitment. Most families these days have a jam-packed monthly schedule that includes sports, after-school activities, doctors’ appointments, birthday parties, and many other important things. However, parents can use a busy schedule to your advantage. Let’s look at how you can take time each day to practice self-care.

While your child is at soccer practice, for example, you could sit in the car or next to the field and listen to your favorite audiobook. Instead of having the kids take the dog out for a walk, you could volunteer to do it. Enjoy the fresh air and get some extra steps into your day. Just fitting as little as 10 minutes into your schedule to take some time out for yourself can make a big difference.

Have you ever thought about pursuing a new hobby? Remember that gift card you got for a free session at the local pottery shop? Cash that in and learn something new. Learning a new hobby doesn’t have to be just for you. It could be a family activity such as gardening. Teach the kids how to grow their own fruits and vegetables. This is also considered self-care, because as you enjoy teaching your kids something new, you are spending time together as a family. The benefits of sitting down once a day to eat a meal together or once a week to watch a movie together help families bond and parents feel fulfilled by special moments together.

As parents, we are role models for our children, which means that we must set a good example for them. If we can show our kids that we practice self-care and take time away from the hustle and bustle of life to take care of ourselves, hopefully they will follow in our footsteps and practice self-care as they grow into healthy adults.

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Seeking Professional Help for Your Child

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By Amy Back, MSW, LSW – July 2, 2025 –

As parents, we care deeply for our children and would do anything in the world to help them through difficult times. It can feel defeating when we realize our children may need outside help that we are unable to give them.

If you choose to get your child professional help, please know there is nothing to feel bad about; in fact, it speaks volumes that you care enough to take the step to get extra support for your child.

Every child is different, so while one child may come to their parent asking for professional help, others might not feel comfortable asking for help at all. This is where parents can step in if they are noticing signs that their child could benefit from professional assistance. Some of these signs could look like the child struggling to express emotions in healthy ways, substance use, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, isolation, engaging in risky behaviors, or even persistent physical symptoms like stomachache, headache, chest pain, etc. Parents know their children best, so when our gut is telling us something is off, it likely is.

Some children may be closed off to the idea of getting professional help. Though it has gotten a lot better through the years, there can still be a stigma or negative perception that goes along with needing extra support. If you want to introduce the idea of seeking professional help to your child but are unsure of how they will respond, here are some things to consider.

First, tell your child that you want to empower and strengthen them. Seeking outside help is all about growing stronger and learning the tools they can use in times of high stress or emotions. Remind them that the emotional discomfort they are feeling is something that does not have to be their norm and that getting extra help is a way to combat that.

Remind your child that seeking help may take time. If your child can go into the process knowing that this is an investment in their mental health (and not necessarily something that will change overnight), it helps them think realistically about the process and not get discouraged if they don’t immediately see drastic results.

A big thing we can do as parents is to remind our kids that they are not in this alone. Not only will they now have added support through an outside professional, but you, as their parent or guardian, will still be with them every step of the way. Let them know that you will still be as involved as they are comfortable with you being, and at the same time, give them space if that is what they need. As parents, we can show our children that they don’t need to feel uncomfortable about seeking professional help; and at the same time, they still have us to fall back on.

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