Creating a Resilient Child

By Camryn Cater, MSW, LSW – August 28, 2024 –

Life can be described as a roller coaster, riding the highs and sometimes dropping to unexpected lows. There are certainly different emotions and feelings we experience along the way.

Resiliency is the ability to adapt well to trauma, tragedy, threats, and other areas of stress. Raising children to be resilient through the highs and lows of this quick ride called “life” is important. The exciting news is that resiliency can be taught.

Resiliency can come from a child’s beliefs, personality traits, and influences in their environment. Children who believe they can influence the world rather than the world controlling who they are can be more resilient to change. They also have a higher chance of controlling emotions and creating better coping skills.

A key component when ensuring your child can be resilient through life’s trials is helping them form connections. Demonstrate and encourage your child to build a support system and get involved in a community to create a resilient environment. Connection provides support during challenging times or situations that may be out of our control.

Self-care is another practice in routine that can ensure your child radiates with resiliency. Self-care is the act of improving or protecting one’s happiness and well-being. This can be as simple as working out, eating healthy foods, and getting enough sleep.

Ensuring your children incorporate enjoyable activities into their routine can also provide them with an outlet during stressful times, while also preserving their happiness. These activities might include clubs, sports, Scouts, music lessons, or other social activities.

Self-care is also knowing when to take a break. Children can have busy schedules or feel overwhelmed from time to time. Ensure they have time to decompress and slow down to process their emotions.

Children or teens that have access to at least one trusted adult in their life are more resilient. Children need an outlet where they can express their emotions in a healthy way. These outlets might include talking to someone like therapists, counselors, a parent/guardian, friend, or another trusted adult.

As a parent/guardian, be open and honest with your school-aged children using simple statements. Be a listening ear even if you are not in agreement with their concerns or emotions. It is essential for children to feel heard. Guide them to problem solve or express themselves in a healthy way.

Teaching your child to set goals is a great habit to start as a family and can create an emotionally well rounded child. Setting goals allows us to see how far we have come and gives the motivation to continue. Goal setting can be as simple as journaling any goals we would like to achieve in the future. Another healthy way to journal is to list what you are proud of accomplishing that day, something that made your day, or simply expressing each emotion you felt. These techniques can guide you to more self-awareness, ultimately making you more flexible with the ebb and flow of life. Taking that step to express yourself (for your eyes only) is one of the most powerful self-improvement techniques one can practice.

Change can be scary for children, teens, and even adults. Help your child understand that change is a part of life. Focusing on the positives of change can lead your child to be more optimistic. Point out the positive changes they have already made, such as moving up a grade at school.

Take steps to teach your child and family unit to be resilient during the highs and lows of the rollercoaster ride of life. Hiding what is happening in their world may only postpone anxiety that can pop up later. Telling them too many details of hardships or tragedy, however, could fuel their fears and worries.

By introducing routine, self-care, connections, goal setting, positivity, and making sure your child has at least one trusted adult to confide in, you can build resiliency and change the way your child adapts to struggles and hardships.