Tag Archive for: anxiety

Assisting Your Anxious Teen

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By Angel Wagner, MSW, LCSW – October 15, 2025 –

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that many people deal with. We all experience various levels of anxiety, often characterized by worry, fear and nervousness. Symptoms can range from visible shaking, agitation, and explosiveness to complete shutdown.

Anxiety affects children and teens as well as adults. For example, for many teenagers, starting high school can be a very stressful experience. Everything is new and rushed, and students have homework, extracurricular activities, and many things to do in a short amount of time, increasing their anxiety.

If your child suffers from anxiety, below are some tips and tricks to help. 

Grounding, not Grounded

Grounding exercises are a physical or verbal interaction used to remove oneself from an anxiety-inducing moment. Grounding centers the person, allowing them to focus on the task at hand, rather than the symptoms caused by the triggering event. Think about placing horse blinders on yourself. You can ignore the chaos around you and stay focused on one thing. Grounding exercises may include counting the number of objects of a certain color in a room, rubbing circles or tapping on your hand, or counting. 

Breathe, Darling, Breathe 

Breathing exercises are also a form of physical grounding. They can help calm the body and prevent hyperventilating or holding breath. There are many breathing exercises you can try to determine which works best. A go-to is box breathing. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four and finally, hold again for four. Another popular breathing method is the four – seven – eight method. Breathe in for four, hold for seven and breathe out for eight. Similar to the horse blinders analogy, the focus point is narrowed to your breathing with these exercises.

A Mama Mantra 

A mantra is a repeated sound or phrase often used in meditation. Meditation is a great relaxation technique if you’ve had an anxiety-filled day. Think of the “ohm” sound often used by monks. A mantra can be a phrase repeated by your child when they feel their anxiety rise. Repeating “It’s okay,” “Live and let live,” or “This too will pass” are a few examples. A silly favorite of mine is “Goosefaba.” Try saying that without a smile emerging. Repeating a mantra, again, shifts your focus from everything around and inside of you to a familiar catch phrase.  

Many different things can spark someone’s anxiety at any time throughout their day. For example, high school students often experience stressful situations, whether it’s new classes, tests, peer situations, life at home or romantic relationship issues.

The next time your child is struggling, have them practice one of the grounding, breathing, or counting exercises mentioned above. And don’t forget about mantras to get your child through stressful moments. With proper management, teens can reduce their anxiety symptoms and significantly improve their quality of life.  

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Coping with Childhood Anxiety

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By Lori Powell, MSW, LCSW – September 10, 2025 –

In today’s world, we hear a lot about anxiety. The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by apprehension and somatic symptoms of tension in which an individual anticipates impending danger, catastrophe, or misfortune.” 

Everyone experiences anxiety to some degree, but not everyone experiences an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders include excessive worry, fear, and avoidance that may significantly interfere with daily life.

What does anxiety look like in children? Children may seem more irritated, uneasy, or have physical problems such as headaches or stomach aches when they are experiencing anxiety.  

Anxiety looks different for everyone. For example, when riding with a parent to school, a child with anxiety might refuse to leave the vehicle when arriving or begin hitting the parent because their fear is so extreme.  

Another student might visit the school nurse regularly, complaining of headaches or stomach problems. If the school nurse reports that there is no evidence of sickness, the student could be experiencing anxiety, especially if this situation is happening more frequently.  

Here are five helpful, positive coping skills that parents can use to help their children reduce the intensity of anxiety: deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, positive self-talk, and visualizing safe places or an animal they like.    

  1. Deep breathing is a great technique to help regulate emotions and the body. An example of a deep breathing technique is taking a deep breath through your nose, like you are smelling your favorite scent (chocolate cake or a rose), breathing out through your mouth (as if blowing out birthday candles). Just make sure that breathing is slow and deep. 
  1. Progressive muscle relaxation is another technique that can be used to help reduce anxiety. Starting with their toes, have your child tense and relax each muscle group all the way up through their head. When finished, ask your child to identify the emotion they’re feeling and recognize how their body feels. 
  1. Using the five senses can also help children reduce anxiety. An example of a technique that can be used is identifying five things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste.    
  1. It’s important to encourage children to talk positively about themselves. When they say things like, “I can’t do anything right” or “I’m always messing things up,” it can negatively affect their mental health. Ask them to use positive affirmations such as “I can do hard things” or “I can get through this situation.” Thinking and speaking positively helps everyone have a better attitude.
  1. Another method children can try is to think about something that makes them feel safe. For example, they can think about their pet or an animal they like, (What does the animal look like, feel like, sound like, and smell like?) or a place that makes them feel safe (What does the place look like, what does it smell like, what can you touch, and what do you hear when you are in this place?). Details are important with this activity. 

The CDC reports that 11 percent of children ages 3 to 17 had been diagnosed with anxiety, according to 2022-2023 data in the United States. If a child’s anxiety becomes more severe and episodes become more frequent, parents should contact the child’s pediatrician for an appointment or have their child evaluated by a therapist. 

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Supporting Your Anxious Teen through a Panic Attack

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By Hailey Hagan, MSW – February 14, 2024

Anxious teens are vulnerable to experiencing panic attacks, which can be a frightening experience for both the child and the parent/caregiver. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, panic attacks are characterized by a sudden wave of fear or discomfort or a sense of losing control when there is no clear threat of danger.

Panic attacks are often accompanied by physical symptoms such as racing heart, dizziness, chest pain, and shortness of breath. Oftentimes these symptoms develop without warning, so what can you do to help your anxious teen cope with a panic attack at home?

  1. Stay Calm and Reassuring. Even though teens won’t show it, they look to their parents and other adults for stability and reassurance that everything is okay. If a parent reacts with great concern, it can unintentionally send a message that the panic attack is serious and potentially dangerous. So, when your teen is in the midst of a panic attack, stay calm, speak in a soothing tone and remind them you are there for them. Your relaxed demeanor can act as a guiding light in their storm of anxiety.
  1. Validate Their Feelings. Let your teen know that what they’re feeling is valid and okay. Avoid judgment or dismissive remarks. Reassure them that it’s a temporary situation and that you are there to support them unconditionally.
  1. Create a Safe Space. Find a quiet, comfortable place where your teen can sit or lie down. Eliminate any triggers, if possible, and offer them a comforting item, such as a soft blanket or a favorite stuffed animal.
  1. Help Distract Them. There are many tools and techniques to help distract an individual during a panic attack. Exercising, playing a game, eating a snack, using ice packs to cool down the body, breathing techniques, a shower or a bath, or watching a favorite show are all techniques that can be used to distract your teen during a panic attack.
  1. Help Them Avoid the Panic Attack Trap. Once a teenager has a panic attack, they may become fearful of having another one and may avoid activities and situations they feel could trigger another attack. As a result, your teen may try to avoid school, social activities, family events, or sports. While understandable, this avoidance only worsens anxiety and increases the chance for more panic attacks. It is important to encourage your teen to face these situations, while at the same time empathizing with how challenging it is to face a scary situation.

In these moments, your understanding, patience, and support can make a significant difference. By being a source of strength, you can help your teenager manage panic attacks and, in the process, strengthen your parent-child relationship.

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Smoothing Transitions for Your Child

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By Kelly McClarnon, LCSW – December 29, 2021 –

Christmas break is underway! As a Youth First Social Worker, I have met with several students who have difficulty transitioning back to the classroom after weekends and school breaks. My observation is that many of these kids also struggle with feelings of anxiety.

The pandemic has caused many children to complete schoolwork from home due to school closures, quarantines, and parental choice to avoid exposure to the virus. Spending long periods of time at home in a more relaxed environment is much different than a structured school setting with increased rules and expectations. At school, increased peer interaction can amplify these feelings of anxiousness in some children. 

Below is a list of things parents can do when their child is having difficulty transitioning back to school:

  1. Have a consistent routine at home. Children thrive on routine. Making sure they know what’s coming next can help kids feel more secure and make transitions smoother.
  • Make sure your child gets plenty of rest. When children feel tired, transitions can become more difficult. Being rested is essential to optimal school functioning and improved mood and mental health.
  • Talk with them in the car on the way to school or before they leave. Ask them how they are feeling. Try to avoid leading questions like, “Are you anxious about going to school today?” Instead, try saying, “How are you feeling today?” This gives them the opportunity to identify how they are feeling and process those feelings prior to arriving.
  • Try listening to uplifting music, talking, or praying to distract them from negative thoughts. If your child rides the bus, allow them to take a journal with positive messages they can read on the way to school. 
  • Reassure your child that it’s not actually the situation (school) that’s causing them to feel scared, nervous, or anxious – it’s the thoughts they have about it. 
  • Sometimes kids have legitimate reasons to want to avoid going to school such as problems with other peers, mental health concerns, and learning disabilities/academic struggles that make it difficult for them to keep up in school. Addressing these issues can lessen a child’s fears by knowing they have the necessary supports to help them succeed.
  • Do not allow them to stay home from school even if they are having a difficult morning. This will only reinforce that avoiding school is acceptable when feeling upset and will make it even more difficult for them to go the next time school is in session.
  • Praise your child when they transition to school successfully. Encourage them that facing their fears will actually reduce their anxiety in the long run. Teach them that uncomfortable feelings and emotions will pass.

Some difficulty with transitions is completely normal. It’s even hard for adults to go back to work after some time off. However, if you are having continual issues with your student transitioning to school, contact the school social worker. They are there to help identify why your child is struggling and will help you address this difficulty.

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Recognizing Anxiety in Children

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By Mary Haas, LSW -January 20, 2021-

Have you ever been nervous going into a job interview? What about paying bills on time, meeting goals at work, or questioning whether we are doing this whole parenting thing right?

Being an adult is hard! Trying to raise kids and do this whole “life thing” can feel overwhelming at times. It can be hard to imagine that our kids might be having worries of their own.

Sometimes even the best parents can overlook a child’s anxieties and fears. However, their little worries are just as real as our adult worries! It is important that we take a closer look into these worries and how to respond to them.

Although we can’t go back in time and feel every anxious moment or overwhelming feeling that came with our childhood, we can acknowledge that throughout our life anxiety can be a steady constant for many of us.

So, what exactly does anxiety look like for a child? How do we respond?

It is important to realize that anxiety can look different for each child; however, there are many common stressors that children experience. Three common worries found in children are the pressures of school, family, and peers. Children may worry about tests, grades, or being called on in class. They might worry about a parent working themselves too hard, a separation within the family, or not getting their needs met. These worries can stem from feeling like they don’t fit in with others to bullying or not having a friend they can trust.

Whatever these fears may look like, you can help! Find out what is on your child’s mind. By being available and expressing interest in your kids’ day-to-day lives, you give them the opportunity to share how they think and feel. If your child seems to be worried about something, ask them about it! Encourage your child to put what is bothering them into words. This helps them verbalize specific details about their feelings, which can help you pinpoint the source of the anxiety they are experiencing.

Another way to help children feel supported and understood is by keeping things in perspective. Sometimes kids worry about big life stuff such as war, famine, and diseases. This is where parents can assure children that what they are feeling is very real while also expressing that adults are working to solve these big issues. Without minimizing feelings, point out that many problems are temporary and solvable. Remind your child there will be better days and opportunities ahead. By teaching children to keep problems in perspective, we can help lessen their worry. This helps strengthen our children with resilience and optimism.

Perhaps one of the best ways we can relieve our children’s anxiety is by being positive role models. The most influential lessons we teach our kids are the ones we demonstrate. Our responses to our own worries, stressors, and frustrations can provide an opportunity to teach our kids how to deal with everyday challenges.

If we practice looking on the bright side of our own situations and voice optimistic thoughts, our children can learn to follow suit. When our adult life worries come into play, we can work on remaining positive and having confidence that these problems are temporary and tomorrow is another day.

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Anxious Children Who Present With Somatic Symptoms

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Talking to Your Teen About Substance Use

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By Valorie Dassel, LCSW – January 7, 2020

Parenting in this era can be overwhelming. There are many opinions and parenting styles that can be argued. 

However, when we are facing drug and alcohol use among our teenagers, there must be an “all hands on deck” approach. It is a community issue that requires parents and adult mentors to communicate clearly with our teens while understanding both sides of the coin.

There are clearly reasons why our teens engage in risky behaviors, and it is important to acknowledge this while at the same time educating them on the severity of the risks. Visit websites such as drugfree.org and youthfirstinc.org to educate yourself on how to talk to your teen about drug and alcohol use. 

The following are some tips to guide substance use conversations with your teen:

  1. Ask your teen open-ended questions about the dangers of vaping, drinking and drug use. Use this conversation to guide discussion around the consequences about the things they care about in the “here and now.” Points to bring up include how substance use may affect their relationships and reputation. These are things they do not feel invincible about. They may do something that is embarrassing and have to deal with the social consequences at school on Monday morning. They may do something that they regret and consequently hurt a relationship or friendship. It is also helpful to aid in connecting their athletics and academics to substance abuse. If they are tired and hungover on the weekends, they will not feel like studying or practicing. 
  2. Be open with them about substance abuse issues in their family. According to the Genetics Science Learning Center of Utah, scientists estimate that a person’s genetics account for 40-60% of their risk of developing an addiction. Sharing family history and stories aids in the development of decision-making based on risks specific to them.
  3. In addition to genetics, individuals who suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, etc. are at a higher risk to abuse substances. The website dualdiagnosis.com is a good resource to help teens connect their emotional struggles to how they may self medicate with substance use.
  4. Clearly share your expectations and the consequences they will receive at home if they are found to be drinking, vaping, smoking or using drugs. It is important to create a relationship that allows the teen to share their struggles or experiences while also being aware of the consequences if caught using. 

Get to know the parents of your teen’s friends. Share with them your values and that you do not approve of them drinking, smoking/vaping or using drugs. There are parents who mistakenly feel they are protecting teens by allowing them to drink or use substances under their supervision, as they feel it is a safer alternative.

Developmentally, teens are beginning to individuate from their parents, which gives them the sense that they can make their own decisions and act independently. Educate yourself and others that this concept inadvertently gives them permission to drink/vape/drug on their own.

Remember that we as parents can educate and guide, but our teens will be the ones who make the decisions. It is our responsibility to keep them as safe and as educated as possible.  Most importantly, be there when they fall and help them back up.

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Promoting Better Sleep Habits With an Anxious Child

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By Laura Arrick, LCSW, Courier & Press, January 16, 2018 –

Child:  “I can’t shut my brain off.”

Parent:  “But you have to get to sleep.  Quit stalling.  You have school tomorrow, so shut your eyes.”

In households with an anxious child this can be a common bedtime conversation.

There are many forms of anxiety, but one shared characteristic is overwhelming thoughts. These thoughts often start out as rational worries and fears but over time can become irrational and all-consuming.  An anxious brain has difficulty letting go and moving on from these thoughts, and nighttime can be one of the most challenging times.

To promote optimal health, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that children ages 6 – 12 get 9 – 12 hours of sleep and teenagers ages 13 – 18 get 8 – 10 hours of sleep each night.  Following these guidelines on a regular basis leads to improved attention, behavior, learning, memory, emotional regulation, quality of life, and improved mental and physical health.

The typical reasons children are not getting enough sleep include phone or computer usage, video games, homework, jobs, extra-curricular activities, etc.  These things can usually be managed with some parental guidelines.  Anxiety is less obvious and harder for a parent to help with, often leaving both the parent and the child at a loss.

Here are some strategies to think about to help your child manage their anxiety and still get the right amount of sleep each night.

  • Establish a “before bed” routine. Give your child at least 30 minutes before bedtime to wind down. This means turning off all electronics and phones and spending some time getting ready for sleep.  It could include reading a book in a quiet room, taking a bath or shower, listening to music in a dim space, or journaling.  Work with your child on what this might look like for them.  This is a proactive way to set them up for success before they hit the pillow.
  • Have white noise in the room. There are plenty of options that are quiet but effective at drowning out the thoughts in your brain, including a fan, music, sound machine, or an app on your phone.
  • As a general rule try and help children avoid caffeine and snacks before bed. Often the snacks chosen are high in sugar, which does not help the body and mind wind down. Snacks that promote sleep may include bananas, oatmeal, yogurt, cheese with whole grain crackers or bread, or a glass of milk. These all have natural components that promote sleepiness.
  • Have your child keep a journal. Encourage them to spend time reflecting on their day and writing down all the worries and fears they have bottled up. Getting it out of their head and on paper can relieve some of the tension they are carrying to bed.
  • Don’t be afraid to allow them to get up and do something different for a short period of time. If you find they are still struggling after tossing and turning for 30 minutes, let them get up and do something relaxing and calming. They may be swirling those overwhelming thoughts in their head and can’t break the cycle just lying there.

Anxious children can get a good night’s sleep; you just have to find what works for your child. Hopefully some of the suggestions above will help them leave their worries behind before their head hits the pillow.

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9 Tips to Celebrate the Holidays With Less Stress

By Alice Munson, MSW, Courier & Press, Nov. 28, 2017 –

It seems that before the new school supplies have been broken in and the Halloween costumes are put away for the next season, Thanksgiving and Christmas are upon us.  The demands of the holidays can sometimes override the inherent joy of the season, allowing stress to take over.

Here are some tips to help reduce stress and make the upcoming holidays more enjoyable:

  • Put first things first. says of Dr. Redford Williams, director of Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University, “The holidays are supposed to be about kindness and generosity, and people most often neglect extending these courtesies to those who need them most – themselves.”
  • Remember the airlines’ admonition, “In the event of loss of cabin pressure, adults should put on their oxygen masks first, then put one on a child.”  As parents, this may sound counter-intuitive, but let’s face it, if you’re not breathing you can’t help anyone else.  Healthy self-care allows us to handle those bumps in the road that are inevitable for us all.
  • Set a realistic budget.  The cost of food and gifts seems to have grown faster than Jack’s proverbial beanstalk. Decide how much you can spend and stick to it.
  • Refrain from trying to buy the happiness of others, especially children.  Those same children may try to convince you otherwise, but is that the message you want to instill in them?
  • You may also want to consider a donation to the charity of your choice, your church, or a school.  Large families may opt for a gift exchange.  Just decide what works best for your family. Overspending during the holidays could result in a post-holiday financial crisis – not a stress-free way to start the New Year.
  • Accept help.  This is not a time to “out-Martha” Martha Stewart. Remember, Martha has lots of help!  The pursuit of perfection can put a damper on anyone’s holiday.  If Aunt Jane wants to contribute her famous horseradish-chocolate chip Jell-O mold to Thanksgiving dinner, accept graciously.  It may not be what you had planned, but it will make her feel appreciated and valued. Isn’t that what we would all like?  All family members can help with shopping and cleaning according to their age and abilities.
  • Just say no.  Avoid over-committing your time when you know you are over-scheduled.  Not speaking up can cause you to feel resentful, overwhelmed, and out of sorts.  You may think, “They should know how busy I am!”  No one can discern our wishes or read our minds.  And no one can participate in every project, no matter how worthy.  Just choose what you can reasonably accomplish.
  • Give yourself a time-out.  According to the Mayo Clinic, “Finding something that reduces stress by clearing your mind and slowing your breathing helps restore your inner calm.”  Fifteen minutes without the distractions of family, friends, and electronic devices may be enough to refresh and allow you to handle the next task at hand.
  • Remain open to the joy of the season.  The first snowfall, the innocence of a kindergarten Christmas pageant, the gathering of family and friends around the Thanksgiving table, or the sweet sounds of a church choir….all of these and more are available to enjoy if we allow it.  In the words of those accidental philosophers, the Rolling Stones, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you find you get what you need.”  Peace and joy are gifts of the season, freely given.
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Dealing With Anxiety

By Amber Russell, Courier & Press, Oct. 3, 2017 –

Thump, Thump, Thump.  Everything feels like it’s going in slow motion.  All I can hear is my heart beating, which feels like it is going to beat right out of my chest.

I can’t breathe.  I can’t think. I’m starting to sweat.  Thoughts begin swirling in my head.  “It is so crowded.”  “Everyone is looking at me.”  “I am in the way.”  “I am taking too long.”  Tears start to well up in my eyes as I think, “Please don’t let me see anyone I know.”

Sound familiar?  This is how I feel sometimes in a crowd or even at the grocery store.  Forty million adults (18 percent of the population) in the U.S. suffer from some form of anxiety disorder.

I am very familiar with anxiety and what helps me cope.  What works for me, however, might not work for someone else experiencing similar symptoms.

There isn’t one single coping mechanism that will magically make your symptoms go away, but there are lots of things aside from medication and therapy you can try.  To get started you may want to try talking with someone you trust, focusing on things you can control, finding a place you feel comfortable and safe, and doing something physical such as going for a walk.

Here are a few other suggestions to try when symptoms surface:

1. Know what triggers your anxiety.  Is it work, school, crowded places, a specific person? Do you feel overwhelmed or something else more specific?  What are your symptoms?  They may include racing heart, sweating, trembling, nervousness, rapid breathing, constant worrying, restless sleep, inability to focus, intense fear or embarrassment.

Keep a journal to track when you have panic attacks or strong symptoms.  Note the date, time, what was going on at the time of the attack, what you were thinking about beforehand, how long the symptoms lasted, and what made them go away.  Once you have more information about symptoms and causes, the anxiety is easier to control.  I get very anxious in crowds, especially while shopping.  From tracking triggers and symptoms I know that while I obviously can’t avoid shopping altogether, I should not shop on super busy Sunday afternoons.

2. Try deep breathing.  When we are stressed, our breathing becomes shallow.  We feel like we can’t breathe, so we try to breathe fast by taking in quick short breaths through the mouth.  This can actually cause hyperventilation.  Try the 4-7-8 method instead:

  • Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of 4.
  • Hold breath for a mental count of 7.
  • Exhale completely and slowly through your mouth, making a swoosh sound to a mental count of

Repeat these three steps at least 2 times.  It may seem awkward at first, but it really helps to focus on breathing.  Slow it down, breathe in through the nose, hold the breath, and slowly exhale through your mouth.

3. Try grounding techniques, which help put your mind in the “here and now” instead of focusing on how stressed and anxious you are.  The more you focus on how stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed you are, the more stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed you become.  Try the 5-4-3-2-1 game.  Look around the room and mentally describe 5 things (poster, clock, lamp, etc).  Name 4 things you can feel (hair touching your shoulders, the breeze of a fan).  Name 3 things you can hear (the air conditioning unit, the click of a pen).  Name 2 things you can smell or smells that you like.  Name 1 good quality about yourself. Repeat with different items if needed.

If you or your child suffers from an anxiety disorder, take steps to manage it.  Start with the coping techniques mentioned above, and seek professional help if anxiety is interfering with daily life.

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