Tag Archive for: Dawn Tedrow

Create a United Front with Your Child’s Teacher

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By Dawn Tedrow, MSW, LCSW, C-DBT – February 26, 2025 –

As a parent, I tried to raise my children with certain core values and principles that are important to our family, in hopes that they would model these values when I was not around. This did not come about easily, and I had to ask myself some difficult questions. “How do I want others to see my children?” I wanted people to think of my kids as kind, honest, and respectful. “What is going to motivate my children to remember our values and act accordingly?” It was important that my children feel empathy and have the courage to stick up for themselves and others.

What values and behaviors do teachers want to see from children in their classroom? Let’s take a moment to look at kindness, honesty, and respect and how these values can motivate your child to have better relationships with peers and teachers at school.

Kindness is smiling at someone or returning something they dropped. It is the act of doing something just because it makes your heart happy. You feel good about doing it without expecting anything in return. It also helps foster empathy so that your child begins to understand how others feel about things.

Honesty is another important value, because it helps teach the child to be truthful about things even if it leads to an undesired outcome. This helps improve their self-esteem and develop deeper connections with people in their lives. Honesty is a great way to teach your child about responsibility and how to be accountable for their actions.

It’s important to teach children to respect not only themselves, but others in their family and community – no matter their age, race, job, etc.  Everyone deserves to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity, no matter who they are.

Our children have a lot of peer influences that may not agree with these values; however, after focusing on these three values, you will also be fostering them to have the courage to make the right decision and treat someone appropriately despite what their friends may think.

Have open and honest conversations with your child around the dinner table about how their friends behave and how they would do things differently. This should be met with zero judgement. Give your child the opportunity to come up with their own solutions, using a lot of praise for good answers. These values will help your child understand that you truly respect their teacher and agree with the rules in their classroom. Modeling this respect will encourage and motivate them to do better in school so you and their teacher will be proud of them. Be sure to praise them for having the courage to continue when things are difficult, as this will help them learn to persevere.

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Taming the Bedtime Dragon

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By Dawn L. Tedrow, MSW, LCSW, Youth First, Inc.

Does your child refuse to go to bed on time? My children are grown now, but I remember arguments and crying when it was time for them to shut the lights off and go to sleep. I tried several techniques over the years from letting them run around the house to “burn off energy,” to providing a bedtime snack while watching a favorite cartoon until they fell asleep.

These methods didn’t work. Little did I know that I was over-stimulating their brains and prolonging the amount of time it took for them to fall asleep. We live and learn. Now I am passing along some helpful, effective tips to parents and caregivers who are struggling to tame the “bedtime dragon.”

First, decide on a bedtime and stick to it. If you plan to have them in bed and the lights out at 8:00pm, then you want to begin winding down about 2 hours earlier (6:00pm). I know it seems like a long time, but trust me, it will make adjusting to a new bedtime routine so much easier and less stressful in the long run.

Depending on the age of your children, this could cause some arguing in the beginning. However, things will settle down after a few days of staying in a routine. Simply state that all electronics are to be turned off at 6:00pm. No video games, tv, or anything. We are giving our brains a break.

This is the perfect time to start taking baths and brushing teeth. Lay out clothes and backpacks for school the next day. Begin turning off lights around the home or dimming them and keeping voices calm. About an hour before bedtime, you can turn on some calming music. Classical music at low volume is a great option. Encourage your child to use their “walking feet” to reduce bursts of energy and running around the house.

When everyone has taken their baths, brushed their teeth, and prepared clothes and backpacks for the next morning, it’s time to read. Allow your child to lay in bed and look at a book or read to them as they settle in for the night. All books should be put away and lights should be out by 8:00pm. 

If they get out of bed, then quietly guide them back to bed. It will take a little while for this new routine to begin working, but things will get easier and less stressful. If your child has difficulty turning off electronics at the designated time, they might benefit from a visual timer that begins about 10 minutes earlier. This will help them prepare for putting things away without a tantrum.

Although bedtime can be a challenge for parents, prioritizing sleep is essential to your child’s physical and mental health. Instilling positive bedtime routines early in life will help your child develop a healthier relationship with sleep as they grow into young adults.

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Cell Phones: What are the Dangers for Your Child?

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By Dawn Tedrow, MSW, LCSW, Youth First, Inc.

When I was younger, my parents knew who my friends were. They knew their parents, when I would be at their house, and what time I would be returning. If I decided to walk to a different friend’s house, I was required to either call my parents first or return home and get permission. Planning was an essential skill we were taught early in life. 

Now that cell phones have replaced our landlines, it is much easier to keep tabs on our children. We feel safer knowing they can contact us immediately. Parents feel safer knowing their child has a cell phone and can even track their location on most phones.  However, do you really know whom your kids are communicating with on their cell phone? Your child has access to much more than you realize, and strangers have access to your child through their phones.

If your child has a cell phone, it is important to monitor it on a regular basis. Who is your child talking to on the phone? They will always say it is a “friend,” because they truly feel like this person is someone they can trust. Unfortunately, kids are quick to trust people they don’t really know and pass along personal information that could put them in danger. If you don’t know this person or their parents, then your child should not be talking to them.

What apps have they downloaded? Many social media apps are popular among teenagers. Younger children hear about apps and want to explore them, but this opens the door to many dangerous situations. If your child wants to be on social media, talk with them about an appropriate age they will be allowed to create accounts.

Games can seem harmless as well, but hackers can use them to get information from your child’s phone or attempt to talk to with them. Educate yourself about social media apps and check your child’s phone regularly to ensure they have not downloaded anything that could put them at risk. 

Cyberbullying is also a risk. Children need to learn appropriate social skills and healthy relationships with their friends. These interactions can be easily monitored in person but become difficult when they occur on cell phones. It is too easy for a child to send a message or text that hasn’t been well thought out. These messages quickly spread to other children and escalate. Encourage your child to socialize with their friends face to face and save phone interactions for important calls or emergency situations.

It’s also important to model appropriate cell phone use. Our children will imitate what they see adults doing. If you want to see your child engaging with people face to face, then allow them to see you doing this as well.

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Organization is Key to Your Teen’s Success

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By Dawn Tedrow, LCSW – January 14, 2020

Many teens struggle with forgetting daily assignments and losing their homework, or they become overwhelmed thinking about the amount of work that needs to be completed. Being unorganized creates tremendous stress for people. 

It is important to teach our students good organizational skills to not only reduce stress at school but to help them continue to be successful throughout life.  I have some useful tips for helping your teen become more organized.

First and foremost, get them in the habit of using an agenda book. Most school bookstores sell them to students for a small fee. If they aren’t already in the habit of using an agenda book, I recommend reminding them daily and rewarding them with praise until they have gotten used to carrying it to every class and filling it out. 

I also recommend that students write in the book even if they don’t have an assignment due, by simply noting, “No homework.”  This will help them get into the habit of using the book during every class. If they forget to use it, simply remind them to start again. 

You can easily see if it is being used by sitting down with your teen at a designated time to review what homework needs to be completed each day.  Using positive and encouraging statements will help them view this as a pleasant task rather than you “nagging” at them.

Try to find ways to make the agenda book more interesting by purchasing different color ink pens or stickers.  I use different colors of sticky notes to put extra notes in my planner.  I find most agenda books to be too small for all of my tasks. If your teen runs into this problem, you might consider purchasing a planner with larger spaces for notes. 

One of my favorite planners is the Panda Planner, which can be purchased at www.pandaplanner.com.  The spaces are larger, allowing for more room to write necessary details about assignments to be completed.  They also break down according to the week and help teach the individual how to plan their month, week, and day. I easily plan my week and identify the top priority for each day.

Another simple tool for teens is what I refer to as a “homework folder.”  This is such a simple tool to keep homework assignments in a place that is easy to find so they don’t get lost.  I get a red folder with 3 clasps and place sheet protectors inside. 

There should be a sheet protector for each class (even gym) and then an extra one for documents that are sent home for parents, such as picture day or emergency contact forms to be completed.  I use colorful labels to identify each class. The folder is carried to every class. Students are instructed to place homework to be completed inside the appropriately labeled sheet protector. 

Once they have completed the assignment, they place it back in the sheet protector until they turn it in to their teacher. Graded assignments do not go back into the homework folder. They are placed in separate folders for the class. This is a quick and easy way to avoid lost homework.

Supplying your teenager with these simple tools will help them to stay organized and reduce school-related stress and anxiety.

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Agree to Disagree in a Respectful Manner

By Dawn Tedrow, LCSW, Dec. 5, 2017 –

There are a lot of things to be unhappy about in our world today.  Everyone has their own opinion when it comes to politics and current affairs, and many are not shy about expressing their feelings. If you open up your social media news feed and read through the comments, you will see a lot of negativity.

What about you? Have you taken a look at your own attitude and behavior lately?

We try to raise our children to be well rounded individuals, to know the difference between right and wrong and to handle conflict appropriately.

Sometimes things are said just for the sake of stirring up an argument with someone who posted their opinion.  We feel hurt by things people post, and want them to know they have offended us.  But what is the right way to handle this conflict?

We must remember that our children are observing our reactions to these situations and they are often mirroring our behavior.

As a parent, I am entitled to my own beliefs that influence how I raise my child.  However, I am also responsible for ensuring they conduct themselves in a way that is respectful.  Perhaps it is time to review the idea that we can “agree to disagree.”

Be mindful of how you respond to situations you disagree with.  I am also guilty of uttering something under my breath about the latest news.  What I would like my child to take away from the moment is that I don’t agree with what is being said or done.  But your child is also hearing the words you are saying and thinking of how to apply it to situations in their young life.

Unfortunately, our bad behaviors may teach our children to handle a situation in an inappropriate way and they may ultimately be punished for it.  We are setting our children up for failure by not keeping our own reactions in check.

The next time you are watching the news and disagree with what is being reported, take a moment to think about how you should respond.  What do you want your child to learn from your reaction?  How would you like them to react to a difficult situation at school when you are not present?

The first step in expressing yourself in a positive manner is by starting with “I feel.”  Surprisingly, many children don’t know how to describe their feelings, so it might be helpful to have a list of feelings available for them to look at while instructing them in this skill.  “I feel angry” and “I feel sad” are some examples.

Once the child understands how to identify their feelings, you can begin teaching them to identify what is making them have this feeling. For example, “I feel angry when you tell me to pick up my toys.”

Practice modeling this behavior around your children and continue to encourage them to use their words instead of acting out inappropriately.  As always, be sure to praise them for using their words in a respectful and appropriate manner.

 

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