Tag Archive for: Emily Bernhardt

Promoting Patience in a Fast-Moving World

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By Emily Bernhardt, MSW, LCSW – July 8, 2026 –

Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait. There are so many phrases we have heard time and time again that emphasize the importance of patience. Yet, even if we agree that being patient is important, it can be so hard to practice.

For a long time, I thought patience was a personality trait you were born with, like how some people are born funny or athletic. However, I have realized that patience can be learned, and though it may be hard, some practices help strengthen our ability to be patient.

Why should we make the change? You may be thinking, “I’m 40 years old – why should I make this change now after all this time?” Of course, being patient helps us strengthen and maintain our relationships, but it also offers health benefits. Patience supports our mental health and well-being; it helps us reach personal goals, is linked to hopefulness and positive outlooks, and is also associated with better outcomes. People who are patient report fewer health problems such as headaches, acne, ulcers, diarrhea, and pneumonia. Sign me up!

So now you may be thinking, “Okay fine, that sounds great, but how? I’ve tried being patient, and it just doesn’t come naturally to me.” There are many ways to practice patience and improve. Give yourself time and grace, because like any skill, it takes time. No one would expect to become a basketball star overnight, and learning a new skill such as patience is no different. It may take time, but it is possible.

One skill that you can incorporate to practice patience is mindfulness. Mindfulness is staying in the present moment. Think of it like “mind full” vs. mindful. When our mind is full of overwhelming thoughts or a checklist of future things we need to do, it is harder to stay patient in the present moment. Some examples of mindfulness include taking time for meditation, keeping a journal, or practicing breathing techniques.

Another skill that is helpful when our patience is thin is acknowledging what we can and cannot control. If your house is messy and there’s a long list of things adding to your stress, sit down and find time to knock things out on the to-do list. That is something in your control. However, if you have errands to run and you know there’s going to be a long line at the grocery store or heavy traffic to drive through—that’s not in your control. Sometimes just recognizing what is out of our control shifts our mindset. And is there a way you can put a positive spin on those situations? Try listening to a positive podcast or uplifting music while you wait.

Here is one last skill that will help build your tolerance for life’s setbacks. If you can practice patience with smaller setbacks that come your way, you will be able to handle the bigger ones much more easily. It’s okay to slow down in general, which can help you stay patient in other situations. Small ways you can practice include letting a car go in front of you in traffic, letting people get in front of you in line, trying a new hobby that promotes patience (like knitting), and ignoring notifications on your phone for at least a few minutes.

Like all skills, learning patience takes time. However, the more we incorporate it into the small moments of everyday life, the more likely we will be to reach for that skill in the bigger moments. Not only will it benefit your mental and physical health, but it is also important to model this skill for our children and other important relationships around us. When our children see us keep our cool in a stressful situation, we show them that this is possible for them too.

Emily Bernhardt, MSW, LCSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Signature School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Repairing Damaged Relationships with Your Children

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By Emily Bernhardt, MSW, LCSW – April 16, 2025 –

As parents, we can never be perfect. We are imperfect people doing our best to grow and shape the minds of our little ones. To be expected, there are times when we mess up, whether that looks like shouting, slamming a door, or even saying something hurtful to our child. We know these mistakes will happen, so how do we repair the damage after we have hurt our child?

The first step to rebuilding trust is honesty. Many adults struggle with being honest with their children because it feels so hard to be vulnerable with them. We have been taught that we have to be strong and not show our emotions to our children, but that is simply not true. Our children benefit from seeing our real emotions and how we respond and cope with those emotions. Being honest with your child not only models how to cope with emotions; it also shows them they can trust you. In times of conflict with your child, be honest with them about how you are really feeling. When we refrain from sharing with our child, we leave them to make assumptions, which can make the conflict worse.

Practicing humility is another great skill to improve. When we are able to be humble and apologize for our mistakes with our children, that speaks volumes with them. This is something we expect our child to do, so when they see us as adults also taking ownership of our mistakes and apologizing to them it makes them feel heard and respected. When apologizing to your child, try to refrain from saying, “I’m sorry, but…” This sends the message that we are more worried about justifying our actions than we are about apologizing for the hurt we caused.

Remember to be consistent. We don’t want to just use these tools like a bag of tricks we pull out when we mess up. It’s important to be practicing these skills in our everyday interactions with our children. Then, when we inevitably do something wrong, we are more easily able to repair the relationship due to the solid foundation that has already been laid out. Of course, we know that sometimes our children make mistakes that hurt us as well. When this happens, be honest with them. Being honest in this way gives your child the opportunity to learn, grow, and apologize to you as well. If your child is apologizing, try your best not to lay on the guilt and accept their apology. All in all, we know relationships can be messy, but because we care deeply about these relationships, it is important to learn tools to help us grow as parents and in turn, help our children grow. If we can humble ourselves, engage in honest communication, and be consistent with the skills we learn, I truly believe we can repair damaged relationships with our children. No child wants conflict with their parent, so as adults we must step up and do our best to make repairs where we have made mistakes.

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How Active Listening Skills Can Benefit Your Family

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By Emily Bernhardt, MSW, LSW – August 22, 2024 –

Active listening is a skill that can be used to strengthen relationships with anyone we encounter or communicate with. It can be useful when engaging with clients, coworkers, friends, family and even strangers, but it is especially helpful when we use these skills to interact with our children. So often children can feel unheard and misunderstood when seeking support from adults, but implementing active listening skills when having conversations with them can make all the difference.

There are several components that go into active listening. Think about it like this: These skills are behaviors that allow the person you are communicating with to see and feel that you are truly listening to them. Making sure the person has your full attention is a great place to start. Put away your phone, work, or any other distractions and focus completely on your child and what they have to say to you.

Another great active listening skill is to paraphrase back to your child what you think you are hearing them say. This shows you are listening, and it is also helps ensure you are accurately understanding what they are conveying. They then have the opportunity to rephrase anything you may have misunderstood.

Another great active listening skill is using gestures and other forms of nonverbal communication to show you are paying attention to what your child is saying. Make eye contact and give simple head nods as they speak. If you have small children, getting down on their level is something that can help them feel more connected to you in that moment.

One important thing to remember about active listening is that it is all about helping your child feel heard; it does not mean you have to agree with everything they say. It is absolutely okay to acknowledge your child’s thoughts or wishes, express your gratitude for their willingness to share, and then let them know why you have a differing perspective.

It can feel uncomfortable to listen to our children when they are struggling or going through a challenge. Often adults feel like they need to know the “right” thing to say, but in some situations even offering support through a hug or just being present with your child is enough.  

All in all, everyone likes to feel heard when communicating with others, even adults. Our children are no different. Learning active listening skills can positively impact family relationships and help strengthen bonds between caregiver and child. The more heard and supported our children feel when communicating with us, the more likely they are going to be open and share when it really matters most. Taking the time to learn and practice active listening skills is one great step in doing your part to cultivate a healthy and supportive relationship with your child.

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Navigating Divorce with Children

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By Emily Bernhardt, LSW

Divorce impacts both parents and children within a family. Depending on a child’s age when divorce occurs, it can affect a child’s behavior in different ways. Learning the most common effects of divorce can guide parents through difficult interactions and can also help lessen the stress your child may be feeling.
             

While infants and toddlers may not fully understand what is happening when it comes to divorce, they can sense when there is tension between their parents. This can cause irritability and could cause your child to become clingy and insecure. This can also lead to regression that may look like a developmental delay.  

When it comes to the infant and toddler age range, it is best to provide as much consistency as possible so your child can feel familiarity and stability. Your child may also need extra attention and reassurance. If your child is a toddler, it is a good idea to explain the divorce to them using words they can easily understand.
             

Preschoolers and kindergarteners will often feel confused about their parents’ divorce and may even feel responsible. It is important to explain the divorce in simple, concrete ways, such as where the child will stay, how often they will see each parent, etc.  

Parents should be prepared for their child to ask plenty of questions and should also make sure to answer each question as best as they can. Anger, anxiety, sadness, or even uncertainty of how to feel are all very common ways for children at this age to express themselves in this situation.
             

Children between the ages of 7 and 11 will be able to grasp the concept of divorce better at this age. Older children will also have a better understanding of their own emotions, which will likely cause them to be more affected by their parents’ separation. It is common for children to feel a sense of abandonment, causing them to attempt to stop the separation from happening.  

As older children age, it can be common for them to place blame on one parent or take sides. Therefore, it is important to make sure the parents are engaging in clear communication and avoiding placing blame on one another.
             

Preteens and teenagers are more likely than younger children to place blame on someone. They may place blame on one or both parents, or they may even blame themselves. Teens and preteens may also begin to question the authority of the parents, especially the parent they do not live with on a regular basis. Anxiety, anger, sadness, and even acting out are common responses to divorce. It is best to have open communication with your child and to try and connect with them even more than before.
             

It is so important to be aware of the common effects divorce can have on children, so you can do your best to lessen the stress your child is feeling. Be aware, communicate with your child regularly, and give them the space to express how they are feeling. Creating positive interactions with your child through this change can make all the difference. 

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Youth First Highlights Emily Bernhardt – Social Work Week 2022

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Emily Bernhardt, LSW – Youth First Social Worker at Holy Cross Catholic School, St. James Catholic School, St. Joseph Catholic School, and Sts. Peter & Paul Catholic School in Gibson County

Q: What called you to become a social worker?

A: I met with my Youth First Social Worker when I was in high school and she had such a strong impact on me. I knew I wanted to be able to have that same impact and be able to help people in the same ways she helped me.  

Q: What is the most rewarding part of your job?

A: When a student shares the ways they feel I have helped them to grow.

Q: Which mental health tools/strategies do you think are the most impactful or effective for students?

A: Having healthy coping skills and a strong support system.

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The Importance of Self-Care and How to Prioritize It

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By Emily Bernhardt, MSW – October 13, 2021 –

Self-care is something that can look different for every person. There are people who like to cuddle up on the couch with a book, do a face mask, take a bubble bath, or even those who like to clean. There are so many ways to partake in self-care, and it is so important to make sure you are setting aside time to de-stress and have some “you time.”

A lot of people can acknowledge that self-care is important, but they may find it hard to find time to focus on themselves when their hectic schedule is constantly pulling them in different directions. Here are a couple of tips to help you prioritize making time for yourself.
 

1. Create a self-care plan. Write out a list of different self-care activities you enjoy and decide how much time you can devote to each activity. After you know how much time you need, start scheduling out time for self-care in your weekly schedule and stick to it!

For instance, if you know that you would like to take a bubble bath for 30 minutes and you also know you have Friday evenings free, you can plan it out for Friday from 6:00 to 6:30. Once you have planned something out, treat it like you would all other important events and prioritize it, because it is just as important.
 

2. Say “no” more often. Another tip to help ensure there is enough time in your week to focus on yourself is to start saying no to other things more often. We live in a society that often offers too much of themselves to other people.

Say no to babysitting the neighbor’s kids if that means you will then have time for yourself that evening. At times it can feel selfish saying no to the requests of others, but it is a necessary skill to learn and will help you begin to prioritize yourself and your needs.
 

3. Re-evaluate your current schedule. Maybe your spouse or kids can help you with the daily household chores if they aren’t already. There may even be things on your schedule that aren’t essential. If you find yourself looking through your schedule and finding tasks that don’t actually have to be done, use that extra time for self-care activities instead.
The important thing to remember is that you are just as important as the people around you, and you should treat yourself as well as you treat other people in your life. Without taking the time for self-care, we become more irritable, stressed, and less available for the people we love.

In order to fill other people’s cups, we must make sure our cups are filled. Even though it can feel like there is not enough time for self-care, there is. Sometimes, we just have to learn how to fit it in and prioritize it. Prioritize yourself today.

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