Tag Archive for: grief

Guiding Your Child Through the Journey of Loss

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By Hailey Hagan, MSW, LSW – July 30. 2025 –

Coping with a loss, whether it’s a loved one or a pet, can be challenging for anyone, but helping your child navigate the complex emotions that come with it can be particularly daunting. As a parent or guardian, it is often hard to see the little ones we love and care for in pain. Here are some gentle ways to support your child during a time of grief:

  1. Foster Open Communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their emotions openly. Encourage them to share memories and feelings, and assure them it’s okay to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to confusion.
  1. Share Stories and Memories: Celebrate the life of the person or pet they lost by sharing fond memories and stories. Reminiscing about happy times can bring comfort and help your child remember the positive impact their loved one had on their life.
  1. Validate Their Feelings: Let your child know their feelings are valid and normal. They need to understand that grief takes different forms and everyone processes it in their own unique way and at their own pace.
  1. Maintain Routine and Stability at Home: In times of loss, routine can provide a sense of stability for children. Stick to familiar schedules and activities to create a reassuring environment for your child.
  1. Encourage Healthy Coping Skills: Assist your child in finding healthy ways to express their grief. This could include using art or play as a vehicle for expressing painful emotions. Other healthy ways of coping include spending time in nature and engaging in shared family activities such as hiking, watching movies, playing board games, etc.
  1. Seek Professional Support if Needed: If your child is struggling to cope with the loss, consider seeking professional help. You can reach out to their school’s Youth First Mental Health Professional (a list is available at youthfirstinc.org) or your child’s family physician for additional support and resources.

Helping a child cope with loss is an ongoing journey. Hold space for your child and listen to them. By providing love, understanding, and the necessary tools to express their emotions, you can help your child navigate the path of healing with resilience and strength.

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The Weight of Grief During the Holiday Season

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By Breanna Dudley-Wissel, MSW, LSW – December 11, 2024 –

Unfortunately, grief is a normal part of life. We all experience grief, whether it is the loss of a job, a divorce or breakup, or the death of a loved one.

Most of the time, grief feels anything but normal and is far from comfortable; quite frankly, it is incredibly overwhelming. These uncomfortable feelings may lead us to suppress the feelings of grief that we need to welcome in to start the grieving process.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What can be misleading about the five stages of grief is that we do not necessarily go through these stages in order. In fact, our grief tends to bounce around the stages. One day we might be in denial, and the next we might be at acceptance and then step back to anger. This is normal.

Grief is not a linear process. It is not something where we work through the steps and then magically feel better. Sure, the heaviness of grief eases up over time, depending on what we have lost, but there will still be days when we feel it very intensely, especially when it comes to grieving a loved one.

Grief can make us feel multiple things, and pretty commonly those feelings can be felt physically throughout the body. The National Institute of Health has recognized that some of these physical symptoms include tightness or heaviness in the chest or throat, nausea or upset stomach, headaches, weakness, tension, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, loss of interest in activities, increased irritability and hostility, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, unexplained anger, and guilt. Usually, physical symptoms occur most intensely at the beginning of the loss, but these feelings can creep back unexpectedly at any time.

Our grief can be triggered by multiple things, some of which include important dates such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays; a certain smell, show, song or article of clothing that reminds you of the person; or a place that holds many memories. We are not always aware of our grief triggers, and that may make it hard for us to recognize why we are feeling a certain way. This can be especially hard for children to identify and explain.

As the holiday season approaches, you and/or your children may find yourselves feeling extra weighed down by grief. Please know that you are not alone. I encourage you to embrace grief in any healthy way you can. Talk about your own grief with your children to open up the space for them to share their own feelings.

Acknowledge and validate their feelings of grief, as well as your own. Share fond memories of the loved one who is no longer with you. Look through photos. Carry on traditions you had with your loved one, but do not be afraid to start new traditions as well.

In the words of Donna Ashworth, “You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember, grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first.”

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Helping Your Child Cope with Loss This Holiday Season

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By Sarah Roth, MSW, LSW

Although the holidays bring much joy and excitement, they are also a very difficult time for families who have experienced loss. Children are no exception. Feelings of grief may increase or present differently as the holiday season approaches.

So, what can we do to help grieving children?

  1. Understand that everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some may find comfort in talking, reminiscing, and doing things to honor the loss they have experienced. For others, these things may not bring comfort at all. Additionally, grief has no distinct timeline or roadmap. Family members may be at different stages of the grieving process. Remember that each family member’s journey is their own.
  2. Be honest with your children about your emotional experiences. As parents, we often feel we must shield our children from seeing our emotions so we do not further damage or worry them. While we do need to use discretion about what and how we share with our kids, it is also important that we are honest with them. This is especially important in times of loss. Our children are learning from our behavior. Hiding our feelings from our kids can lead to them feeling isolated and confused, as it may send a message that how they are feeling is abnormal. Demonstrating that it is okay to have feelings surrounding the loss is important and vital to everyone’s healing.
  3. Check in with your kid about their feelings. In addition to communicating with your child about your feelings, it is also important that you check in with your child about their feelings surrounding the loss. This helps you learn how to help them cope with the many emotions that may surface. It is important to relay the message to your children that even though they may be seeing each family member grieve in different ways, you’re all in this together. Encourage them to come to you if they have questions or feelings they do not know how to manage.
  4. Allow this year to be different while still providing consistency. There is an inherent change that occurs when loss happens. This is especially true during the holidays. Have an open discussion that traditions may look different than they did prior to the loss. Acknowledge that this is okay. It may provide comfort to all involved as opposed to moving through the holiday season as though nothing has happened. You can say things such as, “This holiday might look different because we don’t have ___ spending it here with us anymore. Is there a new tradition you would like to start or a way we could remember __ as we celebrate this year?” You could also ask, “Is there a tradition that we did with ___ that you would like to make sure we continue to do each year?” Providing a good balance of flexibility while not completely stripping the season of its routine is crucial. Working together to find what works for your family is an important way to ensure you are all providing each other with needed support.
  5. Know when to reach out to a mental health professional. If your child is struggling intensely during this time, it may be time to reach out for professional help. If you notice drastic changes in your child, seeking professional help may be the next step. Inability to complete daily tasks for a prolonged period, participating in risky/dangerous behaviors, or disconnecting emotionally are a few signs that seeking help may be beneficial. For some families this may only last a short period, but for others more long-term treatment may be necessary. Checking with your child’s school to see if there are mental health professionals in the building is a good place to start. The child’s family physician may also be able to connect your family with other resources to provide additional support.
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Children, Grief and the Holidays

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By Sarah Audu, LSW – December 22, 2021 –

Grief is often viewed as a sensitive subject, for obvious reasons. It is something we tend to maneuver around with caution. This is likely because each person experiences some form of grief in their lifetime, and we as humans are empathetic towards each other.

We want to handle each other’s struggles and emotions with care. An even more fragile subject to consider is the grief of a child. It is our human nature to want to be gentle and cautious when helping a child who is experiencing something difficult in their life. This can lead to us being hesitant for fear of saying the wrong thing as we try to support them.

Losing a loved one is not the only form of grief a child may experience. Grief can be the emotional result of many scenarios, such as a child’s parents getting a divorce or a best friend moving away. These difficult situations produce hard emotions for the child, because they are experiencing change, pain, and loss. When a child experiences these changes, he/she must learn to cope in the the best ways they know how.

The holiday season is supposed to be a joyous time for all. However, many people dread this time of year due to the pain and grief they are feeling inside. One child may be struggling this holiday season because this is the first year her family will be celebrating Christmas without her father, who suddenly passed away. Another child may be trying to cope with their mother living across the country, confused and unsure when they will get to see mom again.

Every person deals with grief, pain, and loss differently. Experiencing depression, anxiety, and sadness is often viewed as the “normal” emotional reaction to grief. However, some people may state they feel alright most of the time. It may be more healing and beneficial for them to go through their daily routine as they did before, and deal with the painful stings of grief as they arise.

Children are very resilient. They are commonly much stronger than we imagine them to be, especially while facing a challenging situation that has caused them emotional pain. Something we can do to ease the pain of grieving children during the holidays is to follow their lead in conversation and pay close attention to how they are handling their emotions. They may surprise you and show exactly what they need from you in that moment.

Some children may want to deal with their grief in this season by continuing with past traditions and including their loved ones in a new way. Children may also want to start different traditions and create new memories.

What we know for sure is that children have big hearts, and this season gives us a wonderful opportunity to hold them a little closer and give them the support they need during challenging times.

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Children Process Grief at Camp Memories

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By Laura Keys, LCSW, and Heather Miller, LCSW – May 21 2021-

More than half a million Americans have died of COVID-19 and, in Indiana, families are grieving the loss of nearly 15,000 loved ones. The pandemic will define a generation of children who lost a parent, grandparent or caregiver. A recent study estimates 43,000 US children lost a parent to COVID-19, not to mention the countless grandparents that have died as well.

In response to this need, Youth First will provide two free, daylong grief recovery retreats for kids this summer. Called Camp Memories, this retreat began five years ago as a way to address the need to help children in our community cope with grief. 

The Youth First program takes place on a designated Saturday from 9 am-5 pm.  Master’s level social workers facilitate the program. At Camp Memories, losing a loved one is the common denominator among participants. Children spend an entire day surrounded by people who have a true understanding of what they’ve experienced.

Camp Memories incorporates a variety of activities that help remove barriers to healthy grieving through games, art therapy activities, and free play. Geared to meet the needs of kids from 1st through 12th grade, the camp creates a safe environment for bereaved kids to process what they’re going through and get the care they need.  Additionally, parents are given an opening and closing meeting to keep them informed and equip them to be helpful as their kids leave the camp.

At the beginning of the day, children are typically hesitant about participating and nervous about what will be discussed. As the day progresses, they begin sharing their experiences as well as their emotional responses to these experiences. Sadness, anger, guilt, worry, and fear are some of the common emotions children express throughout the day.

Allowing them an opportunity to talk about their grief through activities geared for children helps them make sense of their emotions. Invariably, by the end of the day the group is smiling, chatting, and having fun playing with new friends.

This year’s Camp Memories dates are June 12 at Washington Middle School in Evansville and May 29th at Camp Illiana in Washington (Daviess County). Both camps start at 9 am and end at 5 pm. If your child has experienced the loss of a loved one and is interested in participating, please contact your school’s Youth First School Social Worker or Laura Keys at 812-421-8336 x 107. Space is limited. This is a free program that depends on donations to continue providing grief support for children.

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Grief Camp Helps Kids Struggling With Loss

By Heather Miller, LCSW, Courier & Press, April 10, 2018 –

“On Saturday, I’m going to help with Camp Memories.  I’m excited!” 

“What’s Camp Memories?”

“It’s a day-long program for kids that have lost a loved one.  It’s a great day.”

“That doesn’t sound fun.  That sounds sad.  What do you do all day, talk about people dying?”

This is typical of the response I receive when mentioning Camp Memories.  Grief is a subject that often makes individuals uncomfortable.  The idea of spending an entire day centered on loss is unimaginable to many; however, it’s one of my favorite programs.

When children lose a loved one, they experience a mixture of emotions.  Obviously, there is sadness and at times anger, but loneliness is also a key emotion related to grief.  After the death, the child must return to school where not many, if any, of their friends and classmates have experienced grief as they have.

According to an article in Social Work Today by Kate Jackson, this feeling of loneliness and standing out may lead to isolation.  Often, children cope with isolation by experiencing an increase in anxiety, substance abuse, and physical complaints.

At Camp Memories, losing a loved one is the common denominator among participants.  Children spend an entire day surrounded by other people their age that have a true understanding of what they’ve experienced.

Camp Memories began three years ago as a way to address the need to help children in our community cope with grief.  The Youth First program takes place on a designated Saturday from 8:30 am – 3:30 pm.  Master’s level social workers facilitate the program.

Camp Memories incorporates a variety of activities including sand tray therapy, normalizing grief through games, art therapy activities and free play.  Participants spend the day processing their experiences in a safe environment.  Additionally, parents participate in an opening and closing meeting to keep them informed about their child’s day.

At the beginning of the day, children are typically hesitant about participating and nervous about what will be discussed.  As the day progresses they begin sharing their experiences as well their emotional responses to these experiences.  Sadness, anger, guilt, worry, and fear are some of the common emotions children express throughout the day.

As the day grows to a close participants are smiling, chatting, and having fun playing with their new friends.  Allowing them an opportunity to talk about their grief through activities geared for children helps them make sense of their emotions.

In my experience as a facilitator for Camp Memories, I have seen children enter with grief weighing heavily on them.  I’ve seen these same children leave with a much lighter sense about them.  This is why this program is so important and beneficial.

Youth First’s next Camp Memories is scheduled for May 12 at Washington Middle School.  If your child has experienced the loss of a loved one and is interested in participating, please contact your school’s Youth First School Social Worker or Laura Keys at 812-421-8336 x 107.  Space is limited.  This is a free program that depends on donations to continue providing grief support for children.

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