Tag Archive for: Hannah Gill

Expressing Emotions in a Healthy Way

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By Hannah Gill, MSW, LSW – February 4, 2026 –

When working with teens and discussing emotions, I often give an analogy of sand in a jar. In this analogy, the sand is our emotions. We can put the sand in the jar and stuff it down, but eventually the jar will overflow. Likewise, we can suppress emotions without feeling them, but eventually our emotions will surface (whether we want them to or not), and sometimes this will be in ways that are detrimental to the teen and their relationships.

Expressing and feeling our emotions is a vital skill that helps demonstrate resilience. One way we can support teens in expressing their feelings is by modeling and having conversations about emotions.

But first, why is expressing emotions something we should be doing?

It might seem more straightforward not to express our emotions, especially around kids and teens. Adults often try to hide their feelings or bottle them up to appear stronger around their children. While this might seem like a good idea, bottling up our emotions can lead to explosions or not being able to access our emotions (both positive and negative). Thus, when we hide our emotions from our teens, we are actually doing them a disservice. Children and teens learn from the adults around them, and they learn how to regulate and manage their emotions from the adults they trust. If adults are modeling emotional regulation, teens will see that they, too, can feel and regulate their emotions.

So, how do we express our emotions in healthy ways?

There are some things we can do to model healthy expressions of emotion and show teens that it is ok to do the same.

  1. Validate and attend to their emotions calmly and consistently. When they experience big emotions, approach them with a patient and calm demeanor. Teens are very good at reading adults’ body language, so the best thing we can do is approach the situation from a place of calm.
  1. Learn to talk about your emotions and your teen’s emotions. One way we learn to express and regulate our emotions is by naming and discussing them. This could be as simple as a “I feel ______ when this happens” or “It sounds like you are feeling ________” for both positive and negative emotions.
  1. Model emotional expression. Just as we ask teens to discuss their emotions and how they are feeling, adults should model this same behavior. Thus, when an adult is feeling upset or happy or overwhelmed or joyful, they can and should talk about this and use the same feeling words they want the teens in their lives to use
  1. Model regulation and co-regulation. Everyone has a different “toolbox” of emotional regulation tools. Model these tools for your teens. When you feel overwhelmed, acknowledge your feelings and practice coping skills. Maybe this involves taking a few deep breaths before speaking, exercising, or journaling at the end of the day.
  1. Address the situation that is causing a negative emotion. If there is a trigger bringing something up for you, work to resolve this and address any differences.
  1. Practice healthy relaxation. One of the ways we manage emotions is by calming our nervous system and practicing effective relaxation techniques. Not only does this model promote healthy relaxation for the teens in our lives, but it also makes us more equipped to help them handle their emotions.

Feeling our emotions and showing them to the teens in our lives can be scary. Being emotional is vulnerable, and many are taught that we should never show our emotions. However, our emotions are crucial and necessary for happy and healthy relationships. And, like most things, it is a muscle that we can work on and practice, and so can your teen. 

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The Power of Small Therapeutic Moments

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By Hannah Gill, MSW, LSW – February 7, 2024

These days it seems like a surprising number of children and teens are under significant stress, and this is likely true for many others in our communities. Research shows that the COVID-19 pandemic heightened anxiety and depression for many kids, and we are now seeing the effects. It can feel overwhelming to consider the impact these events, although out of our control, have had or will have on our children. It can be even more overwhelming to think about healing and moving on from these stressors.

When we think about recovery from intense stress, our brains will go right to traditional one-on-one outpatient therapy. While this is undoubtedly an essential part of healing for some children and teens, it is also important to consider how small therapeutic moments in a child’s day can immensely impact their life.

Clinician and researcher Bruce Perry has studied trauma in young children and developed an understanding of how it affects them and how communities can help them overcome trauma and adversity. While many situations that Bruce Perry researches and discusses are extreme, one important takeaway is the power of therapeutic moments and interactions.

These interactions may be with parents, teachers, administrators, counselors, and social workers in our schools and communities. In his book The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, Perry explains that a therapeutic moment can significantly influence a child’s life. He writes, “It merely requires being present in social settings and being, well, basically, kind… The more we can provide each other these moments of simple, human connection – even a brief nod or a moment of eye contact – the more we’ll be able to heal those who have suffered traumatic experience.” 

This gives me hope when I think about our communities and the children in our schools. It illustrates that any moment can be therapeutic if we are attentive and engaged with a child and their actions. This might mean interacting with a child getting ready for school in the morning, after they get home, or in the hallway as students go from class to class.

It may seem like a challenge to help a child recover from stressors or move on from a situation that felt hard for them. Yet this view of recovery and therapeutic moments gives adults the space and permission to engage authentically with the children and teens in their lives. It shows the power that nurturing adults can genuinely have.

This lens gives us, as the adults in a child’s life, permission to show up authentically and gives us evidence that if we do so consistently, that alone may be enough to help a child overcome stress and heal from traumatic events they might have experienced. The Youth First Social Worker or Youth First Mental Health Professional in your child’s school building can help parents and teachers consider ways in which they can bolster and provide therapeutic moments and create moments for co-regulation in a day.

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