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By Leah Lottes, LSW – December 9, 2020-

When you think about the holidays, it’s likely that you picture your whole family gathering together to celebrate. You look forward to it every year, but in 2020, many families are choosing to stay apart in an attempt to keep everyone safe and healthy. This year is different.

Many of us are upset by the challenges and changes brought on by COVID-19. This is something we’ve never experienced, so it makes sense that so many of us are struggling to adapt. If adults feel as though they don’t know how to cope, we surely can’t expect our children to build coping strategies by themselves.

So how do we adjust? First, it’s important to accept the reality of this pandemic, as recommended by therapist Kim Eisenburg, LCSW, in an article released by Sharp Health News. Allow yourself and your children to be upset, disappointed, and angry at everything that has been taken away from your family. Everyone is experiencing some type of loss, whether it’s big or small.

Sometimes it’s the little things we miss the most, such as going to school, going out to eat, going to church, and gathering with friends – all without fear of the virus. We must allow ourselves to mourn what we’ve lost before we can focus on creating new traditions.

If you’re looking for ideas on how to help your kids adjust to changes made this year, here are some ways to reframe the situation and still add a little bit of Christmas magic to your family’s holiday season.

Zoom with your extended family. If your family is tech-savvy, you can have a big family Zoom meeting. No, it’s not the same as meeting in person, but it’s a great way for everyone to feel like they are all in the same place. It’s also a great opportunity for families to share many laughs and memories together.


Check in on family and friends. Check in on those who have lost family members or friends this year. Call family members who are alone during the holidays. Send a “thinking of you” card. Bake some cookies for friends and deliver them to their front porch. Including your children in these little kind gestures will not only help those who are feeling down this holiday season, but it will also bring your children joy.


Volunteer. Whether it is donating your time, money, or resources, volunteering can be a way to help you feel good and remind you of the real reason behind giving during the holidays.

Create new traditions or modify old traditions. This could include having a family game night, starting a new TV series, or having a baking day. These are all activities that allow you to do something fun in the comfort of your home.


Make future plans. No, we don’t know what the future looks like, but we can still try to make plans for future events, gatherings, milestones, and vacations. Having something to look forward to allows us stay motivated and helps us feel hopeful.

This holiday season looks different than past holidays, but it is up to us to help those around us make the most of it. Remember, kids are resilient. We can choose to have a positive attitude and appreciate the little moments together as a family. Modeling this behavior can help build resiliency in kids and can give meaning to a wonderful holiday season, even during a pandemic.

By Nolan Miller, LSW- December 2, 2020-

Just like a lot of things these days, the upcoming holidays will be different this year. Extended family get-togethers are not safe, and our traditions might not look the same as they did in previous years. 

Change isn’t necessarily a bad thing, however. As we get closer to the holiday season, we need to prepare for the deviations ahead and develop strategies to cope with departures from tradition.

One of the ways we can do this is to accept that there are things out of our control. When it comes to losing control, it is easy for us to start feeling stress. Accepting that this year will be different does not mean that our traditions are lost; perhaps they are just on hold.

The next way we can handle not meeting expectations this year is to practice more self-care. This is something most of us should do more often, but during the holidays self-care becomes even more essential. Giving yourself a break and doing something you enjoy or haven’t had the time to do before can be helpful. Set a time each day to walk away from your cell phone or other stressors and spend time with the loved ones around you. 

Here are some ideas for self-care during this holiday season:

  1. Read a holiday book. Whether it is a book you already have at home or a book that you have been wanting to read, use this time to slow down and escape in the pages.
  2. Take a walk or drive around the neighborhood. We can still socially distance from our neighbors while enjoying the Christmas lights around us.
  3. Watch Christmas movies with the family. Self-care does not necessarily mean “alone time.” Sometimes self-care means spending special quality time with people we love. 
  4. Do something fun or creative. Making cookies or building a gingerbread house can be something you add to your yearly holiday traditions.
  5. Reach out to other family members. Just because we can’t visit our families in person does not mean we can’t meet with them virtually. Video chat may not be the normal we are looking for, but taking time to check in on each other can help everyone feel more connected.

Another way to handle disappointment is to lower our own expectations. Positive or negative, our expectations can have a big impact on our mental health. Holidays are especially hard when our expectations are based on fond memories from years without pandemic restrictions. However, if we are able to drop our expectations and live in the moment, we may find ourselves enjoying the holidays more than we have in previous years.

The most important thing to remember this year is that we are not alone. We are all in the same boat.

We might find that the holidays during a pandemic are not like they were before, but neither are we. This year has made us more resilient and has shown us strengths we did not know we had before.