Tag Archive for: Holly Branam

Friendships Can Transform Lives

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By Holly Branam, MSW, LCSW – February 6, 2025 –

Many years ago, I was working with a student who was challenged in several areas. He was anxious, having trouble focusing on schoolwork, and was disruptive and attention seeking in the classroom.

Additionally, his parents noted he would become easily dysregulated at home and eventually did not want to come to school. As I worked with this student, we focused on each of these areas. We practiced skills to help him focus and techniques to help with anxiety. We also discussed appropriate ways to seek attention from others and tried both rewards and consequence-based systems to improve behavior.

I also met with the family and provided education, and they made changes in the home environment. After a year, and with support coming from every direction, the student had made only small improvements, until one day things abruptly changed. Suddenly, the student was not acting out in the classroom. He was engaged in classwork, wanted to come to school, and most importantly, he was smiling and happy.

What had changed? I knew I had not said or done anything profound and there had not been a sudden shift in medication. The answer was incredibly simple and tremendously eye opening. The student had made a friend!

Since then, I have watched this remarkable transformation happen again and again. Students struggling with a wide range of challenges from relative shyness to more severe behavioral concerns have all benefited greatly from the impact of having one good friend. I do not mean to imply that friendship is the cure for all the problems that children face, but research has shown that friendship can positively affect a child’s self-esteem and social skills while also decreasing stress and anxiety.

Friendships help children feel more connected, confident, and optimistic about the world around them. For some children it changes their perspective; for others it changes their need to seek attention in inappropriate ways; and for others it gives them a source of joy that was lacking in their lives. Together these things lead to better overall mental health for all children.

Friendship provides emotional support and teaches kids empathy and compassion. It also helps them develop some key social skills, including effective communication, how to handle and resolve conflict, cooperate in a group, and show respect to others. Friendship gives children a sense of belonging and helps them develop their sense of identity. Healthy friendships provide a sense of security and self-worth and will help kids develop more resilience for the inevitable challenges of life. It is not the quantity of friends they have that is important, but the quality of key friendships that will have the most impact on their lives.

But making friends is not always easy for kids, and as parents and professionals we want to help foster these relationships in whatever way we can.

The first step I always recommend is open lines of communication both with your children and other adults that support them in their lives. Ask your child about their friendships and truly listen. If you are concerned, ask their teacher if they have noticed the child is challenged in this area. Find out if there is a child that they would like to develop a better friendship with and coordinate with their parents for a playdate. Meet with the parent and child in a park or somewhere where the children can play as you get to know the parents better.

Find out what your child’s current interests are and look for ways to engage them in that area, where they can meet other kids with similar interests. Practice friendship skills with your child by teaching them how to listen, share, and compromise. Be actively involved in their lives so that you can help them show kindness, respect and compassion to others.

Most importantly, be available for your child. As they develop new friendships there will undoubtedly be difficulties along the way, and your child will need a trusted adult to help them navigate new and challenging situations. Friendships can play a vital role in the development and happiness of a child, and your support can help them find success in this area.

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Social Workers = Superheroes! Holly Branam, LCSW, Youth First Social Worker at South Terrace Elementary in Posey County

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Together We Can Make a Difference

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By Holly Branam, LCSW – May 26, 2020 –

We are living in a unique time in history. Schools have been closed, events are cancelled and businesses are just now beginning to reopen their doors. We have experienced the loss of so many familiar things. Routines have changed and aspects of our lives are delayed indefinitely.

Although we are going through this pandemic together, our individual experiences are vastly different. Some of us are working outside the home, some are working inside the home and some have lost their jobs.

We may be overwhelmed juggling work and educating/entertaining our children or isolated, living alone, and desperate for human contact. There are some individuals who have directly experienced the loss of a loved one or reside in areas where the virus has spread quickly, while others are living in areas that have barely been affected.

As we begin the process of returning to a new normal, each person is going to have an opinion on the right way to move forward. There will be varying levels of comfort based on our individual experiences and location. My sister lives in a large city that has been greatly affected and plans to shelter in place for months, possibly. However, I live in a small town with less than a handful of cases and feel more comfortable venturing out.

As we begin to make plans for the future, my sister and I have started talking about what we are individually comfortable doing and have agreed to respect each other’s opinions no matter how different they may be. We love each other and value our relationship. That connection and support is more important than our individual opinions.

As humans, we were created to be in community with each other, and supportive relationships help us cope. Social media and a variety of other online options have made connecting possible during this difficult situation, and I feel blessed that we live in a time where this is possible.

Unfortunately, as I scroll through social media I am saddened and discouraged by the unkind posts I see. We need each other, and unkind words only work to separate us.  Our energy is wasted on panic, blame, regret or anger. So instead, let’s focus our energy on kindness, caring, giving, and sharing.

These feelings of uncertainty won’t last forever, but the words we speak to others can have a lasting impact. As we move forward there is so much to be done. People are in need and we can put our compassion into action. We can spread kindness, listen to others, offer support, provide comfort and encourage one another.

We need to come out on the other side of this mentally healthy as well as physically healthy. We can’t control the choices others make, and trying to do so only creates frustration and distance.  So let’s let go of what we can’t control and give each other a little more grace.

I was playing a game with my daughter the other day. She wasn’t sure if the number she was looking at was a 6 or a 9, and I realized that perspective is everything. Frequently we see things differently depending on how we are oriented to the world around us. Beyond our current situation, we have a lifetime of experiences and beliefs that have shaped us.

We will all have different ways to process and handle stress and change. Let’s begin to be aware of how our words and actions affect others and try to understand their perspective. We can find peace by reminding ourselves that people are imperfect and are doing the best they can with what they know.

Someday we may look back on this time and have all the answers, but right now we are just trying to make our way through. We are in uncharted waters, so let’s be kind. Together we can make a difference.

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