Tag Archive for: Krissy Melhiser

You Are Worthy!

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By Krissy Melhiser, MSW, LCSW, Youth First, Inc.

Have you ever taken some time to think about your self-worth? Do you tend to build yourself up or tear yourself down with your words or thoughts? Self-esteem is an invisible force that makes up who we are. It can affect many facets of our lives, and it is something that can be ever changing.

Self-esteem is an aspect of our lives that is constantly being influenced. So, let’s focus on what influences can change the way we view ourselves with tips to boost and maintain healthy self-esteem.

Our relationships with others have a powerful influence on our self-esteem, and it is through our relationships that we start to receive and believe messages about ourselves. Young people find it difficult to be themselves at times, because the people in their lives influence what is considered cool, weird, or accepted.

As kids mature, the pressure of comparing themselves to others and the influence of other people’s negative opinions can foster low self-esteem. When you believe that you are incapable, lacking ability, or just not good enough, you reinforce a “self-fulfilling prophecy.”

So, what can we do to help ourselves and the young people in our lives develop healthy self-esteem?

  1. Accept yourself. Embrace the fact that you are uniquely made and what you have to offer is what this world needs.
  1. Avoid labeling yourself. Try not to use words or statements that are negative like, “I’m stupid” or “I’m not attractive.”
  1. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing your strengths will help you believe in your abilities. Knowing your weaknesses gives you the ability to strengthen them and accept your limitations.
  1. Set goals. Working towards your goals will help prove that you are capable, which boosts your self-esteem.
  1. Be objective. Don’t take responsibility for things that aren’t your fault or blame yourself for negative outcomes. It can also be easy to blame others for conflicts that may not be their fault. Know what is true in the situation, take responsibility when necessary, and work to move past it.
  1. Avoid comparisons. Don’t compare yourself to others, especially on social media. It’s also important to avoid comparing other people, like comparing your kids to one another. We are each made differently. You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole.
  1. Communicate. Communication can be a difficult task for many. Assertive communication is the key. Clear, concise, direct and non-confrontational communication will go a long way. It might be helpful to use an “I statement” like this:
    1. I feel ______when you _____ because________.
    2. What I need is _______.

I hope these tips are helpful in creating self-esteem that is more positive for yourself and your kids. Just remember to practice! Failure can happen, but I like to think of it as a minor setback. Find the areas that need improving, make adjustments, and try again.

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Enjoy Nature and Improve Your Mental Health

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By Krissy Melhiser, LCSW – May 16, 2022 –

While living in Colorado for 11 years, I had access to vast beautiful landscapes and often found myself at great peace and wholeness when in nature.

What is it about nature that is so alluring and healing to the mind, body, and soul? Is it the beautiful landscapes and life in the flowers, plants, and trees? Is it the sounds of waves crashing, birds singing, and crickets chirping? Is it the smells of fresh cut grass, summer rain, and fall leaves?

There is a great deal of research to prove that exercise is extremely beneficial for a person’s mental health. Participating in outdoor activities often involves some level of exercise, but choosing to take a walk outside instead of inside on a treadmill also does so much more for the soul.

Wilderness Therapy (WT) is a fairly new concept in psychotherapy, but it is a term rarely heard in the Midwest. WT uses traditional therapeutic interventions, but it is not confined to a therapist’s office.

As the name explains, WT takes place in the wilderness where nature provides its own holistic healing. Being in the wilderness naturally brings out our survival instincts; it breaks down barriers, removes us from everyday norms, and creates an environment that doesn’t allow us to avoid certain problems.

With very few WT programs in the Midwest, how can we approach this concept? It’s as simple as you think…just go outside!

In a world where teens are spending an average of six hours a day consuming social media, time away from electronics is necessary. Mental health issues are on the rise in adolescents because teens are not able to cope with the pressures of social media or process the level of information they receive online.

I suggest you plan quiet time, slow life down a little, and stop to smell the roses (literally). Being out in nature has a way of slowing us down and removing our daily norms. It provides the break we all need, especially adolescents who are learning how to cope with the world.

Nature offers us the opportunity to reconnect our families and our relationships. More importantly, it provides a much needed mental break for all of us.

Whether you go walking, swimming, camping, hiking, or kayaking, go outside together. Spend that time reconnecting by teaching your children how to fish, change a tire, or plant flowers.

The point is to get outside and enjoy what nature has to offer. One of the best parts of nature is that it’s free; you don’t have to pay, you simply walk out your door.

I leave you with this challenge: Take at least one hour this week to go outside with your family. Increase the amount of time you spend outside each week and create new adventures.

Instead of pushing activities on your kids, give them several options so they feel less like they are being forced to do something and more like they are making the choice of what to do.

Now go outside and have some fun!

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Stop and Smell the Roses with Mindfulness

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By Krissy Melhiser, LCSW – May 11, 2022 –

The year was 2020 and a life altering phenomenon occurred across the world. It was a pandemic that no one saw coming and few were prepared for. Most of us were at a loss at how to respond to such a devastating event. We found ourselves glued to the television or social media, trying to wrap our minds around what was happening in the world and in our very own back yard.

Although the pandemic has left its mark and many of its long-term impacts have yet to be revealed, many of us inadvertently learned to practice mindfulness. We all paused and worried about our neighbor, people across the globe, and loved ones more than we ever had. As the world stopped, we were forced to take a breath and rearrange our lives in more simple ways.

Aside from the rush on toilet paper and cleaning supplies, outdoor recreational equipment flew off shelves as people began spending more time outside and finding simple things to do at home to occupy their time. We came back to a place of rest that many of us truly needed. Our society doesn’t give much room for being mindful throughout our lives unless we make it a priority.

So what does it mean to be mindful? We live out our days ruminating over our schedules, kids, appointments, responsibilities, tasks, etc. How much time do you spend daily being aware of your five senses? Do you notice the smell of fresh bread as you pass a bakery? Do you listen to the birds chirping? How often do you simply just sit in silence without any distractions? Do you listen to your body when it tells you it needs rest?

Being mindful is being aware of what is around you and what’s within you. If you do this you might notice the person in your office having a bad day. You’ll hear the joy of people laughing. You will see a person in need and your heart will feel compassion for them. The key is that you must pause long enough to notice what is happening around you.

There are people, things, places, and moments that carry such beauty, hope, love, joy, and peace. These things can fill your life with happiness and instill compassion, not only for others, but for yourself. Be brave, be wild, and push back against the daily worries that prevent you from observing life happening around you.

Try not to go on autopilot so you can recognize the silver linings that each day holds for you. The pandemic forced a lot of us to be mindful, so don’t lose sight of this. Stop and smell the roses, literally!

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What Does it Take to Create a Healthy Generation?

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By Krissy Melhiser, LSW – February 24, 2021 –

What does it take to see our children grow to be strong and healthy? Is it everyone’s responsibility?

Parenting can be so difficult at times. It seems like an endless pursuit, and you wonder if the tireless chase will result in a positive outcome. As a school social worker, I hear countless stories of the hardships parents face with their kids. Through the ups and downs, I often wonder as each generation faces the same foundational issues, what does it take to produce a healthy generation?

Since being in high school myself, I have seen an increase in anxiety and depression in young people. A world that is constantly transforming provides a multitude of reasons for this increase in mental health challenges. How can we ensure the next generation isn’t forced to grapple with more issues than the previous generation?

So what is needed? Change! A word like “change” can be so simple to understand, yet it may be one of the most difficult to put into action.

Change requires looking beyond our circumstances to find the root of the issues younger generations face. Most of us would find it is easy to change our laundry detergent or perhaps make small changes in our routine, but deep-rooted change takes more time and commitment.

So what can we do as parents, guardians, and youth advocates who have an influence on younger generations?

First we must turn inward, observe, and recognize what we need to own up to. As parents, we are not given an instruction manual. Much of what we know is learned from our own parents. Recognize that not everything we are taught is good or healthy. Therefore, it’s important for all of us to be introspective and make changes where they are necessary.

The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” If we do the same things over and over, how can we expect change to occur for ourselves and those around us? Lead by example! Envision yourself looking into a mirror, but on the other side is not your reflection; it’s your child’s reflection instead. With every movement, word, attitude, and deed they mirror you. Are you okay with the reflection you see?

To create change, sometimes generational bonds of negative unhealthy habits need to be broken. As human beings we have proven that we can and have evolved. Therefore, we know that change can happen if we commit to seeing it through.

My challenge is this: Ask yourself what you need to own up to. You and your kids will be better for it. The negative generational cycle can and needs to be broken, not only for your own mental health and well-being, but also for the benefit of your family, community, and society as a whole.

It’s our responsibility to produce a generation that can take on the future without unnecessary hurdles. Our actions have a ripple effect on so much more than we realize. May the ripples you produce be healthy and good ones.

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