By Leah Doughty, LMHC – June 11, 2026 –
Anger can feel scary for both parents and children, especially if you don’t know how to talk about it or handle it healthily. Many parents think that if they do everything “right,” their child won’t have a problem with anger. But that isn’t realistic. All children feel many emotions, including anger, no matter how loving or supportive their parents are.
Childhood is full of fun, but it can also be hard. Children often feel confused, scared, or frustrated because they have little control over their lives. As they grow, hormones, school pressure, and activities can add even more stress. All of this can lead to anger.
Anger is a normal feeling that everyone has and does not make your child a “bad” child. Your job isn’t to stop your child from feeling angry. Your job is to help them learn safe and healthy ways to handle it.
Ways You Can Help Your Child Deal with Anger:
- Stay Calm. When your child is very angry, try to stay calm—even when it’s hard. When you stay calm, you help prevent the situation from getting worse. You are also teaching your child how to handle big feelings by showing them what it looks like.
- Let Your Child Know You Understand. If your child is angry, there is usually a reason. Let them know you see how they feel. You can say something simple like, “I can see how upset you are.” This works better than saying, “Calm down” or “It’s not a big deal.” When children feel understood, they are more likely to calm down and talk.
- Identify the Cause. Work with the child to understand what triggers their anger. Is it a feeling of being unsafe, controlled, or tired? Helping them identify the root cause fosters self-awareness.
- Help Them Get the Anger Out Safely. Help your child release their anger in healthy ways.
- Young children might draw pictures of how they feel.
- Older children may need to run, jump, or play outside.
- Teenagers might like lifting weights or going for a walk.
- Squeezing stress balls or popping bubble wrap can also help and can even lighten the mood.
Anger is part of life. Try not to shame your child for feeling angry, and don’t blame yourself as a parent. Anger happens to everyone. What matters is helping your child learn how to handle it safely and positively.
Some children struggle more with anger than others. This can happen because of big life changes, such as divorce, the loss of a loved one, or living with adults who have trouble managing their own anger. This does not mean you have failed as a parent. It means your family may need extra support. If your child’s anger feels hard to manage, talking to a professional can help. A good first step is to ask your child’s pediatrician for support and resources.
Leah Doughty, LMHC, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Mt. Vernon High School in Posey County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.