By Niki Walls, MSW, LSW – October 29, 2025 –
When’s the last time you tried something new without worrying about whether you would be good at it? As children, we would happily play and try something new; we were not consumed with thoughts of failure. However, as adults, we often avoid hobbies unless we believe we can master them.
At what point in our lives does this change-up happen? How can we be successful role models to students, expect them to improve, and not add to the pressure of perfectionism?
We live in a society that thrives on performance, productivity, and perfection. This can be harmful when dealing with children. Students often feel pressured to be perfect at everything they do. If they are unsure if they will be good at something, they may avoid it altogether. The way society has made “good enough” seem like “not enough” will often push students to the point of not trying at all.
The message students need to hear is that they do not have to be perfect, or even good, at something to help them grow. Even without perfection, a hobby, physical activity, or passion can greatly support a student’s mental well-being. The fear of failure is holding many students back from reaching their full potential. Studies show that trying new activities boosts creativity, lowers stress, and even helps build resilience.
When students only do what they are already good at, they may miss out on experiences that could bring them new joy, diverse friendships, and valuable life skills. When students try something new without the added pressure of being perfect, they can build resiliency, boost their confidence, encourage creativity, and have a positive outlet for stress. It also takes the pressure off for them to feel like they must perform well to be worthy of love or attention. Children need to learn the art of normalizing mistakes, not fearing them, while also shifting their brain from fight-or-flight to a state of calm.
As adults, we can encourage this mindset by praising their effort over the mastery or perfectionism. Teachers and parents can also model imperfection. Try something new, give yourself grace when you fail, and laugh it off when things do not go as planned. This will model just how safe it is to take risks without fear of embarrassment.
Growing up can be stressful and full of pressure for students, but not everything has to be about perfect grades, scores, or achievement. Encourage students to “fail” so they can explore who they really are while discovering new passions and building confidence. When we let go of being perfect at something, we permit ourselves to enjoy it. That joy can be a surprisingly powerful tool for our mental health. Maybe the shift starts by picking one thing you can do “badly” on purpose. Not only will it lighten your mood, but you might just have more fun than you have had in a long time.