Tag Archive for: Lizzie Raben

How to Respond When Children Lie

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By Lizzie Raben, MSW, LSW – November 19, 2025 –

It can be so difficult to understand why teenagers – or children of any age – lie to us. Sometimes the lies feel especially frustrating because they seem so small or unnecessary, leaving us wondering why they weren’t simply honest in the first place.

Why do children lie – and how should we respond when they do? Most kids experiment with lying at some point, whether to fit in, avoid trouble, or even protect someone else. Because lying is a common part of childhood development, it’s important for parents to understand why it happens and how to address it in a calm, effective way.

The most important thing to remember in these moments is to stay calm.  Being lied to can naturally trigger anger, making it harder to keep our composure. But maintaining calm helps strengthen future parent–child interactions. When we can talk with our child calmly about why lying is wrong, what the real issue is, and how to respond appropriately, we show them that they can come to us with any problem. We also model that honesty leads to open, steady communication—and that when they tell the truth, we will listen and help them work through challenges.

Lying can create distance and deepen a child’s sense of loneliness. When children realize they don’t have to hide things from us, they often feel a sense of relief, knowing we can work through challenges together. This doesn’t mean discipline isn’t necessary – guidance and boundaries are still essential. While children need calm support, they also rely on consistent discipline to help them grow and learn. 

If your child lied about where they were going after school, for example, an appropriate consequence might be requiring them to come straight home the next day. Explain that the privilege was lost because trust was broken and reassure them that trust can be rebuilt. Be specific about what they can do to earn that privilege back so they understand the path forward.
 
After our children have lied and damaged our trust, how do we move forward? Here are some things you can do:

  1. Continue to offer them love. They made a mistake, but even adults make mistakes every day.
  1. Continue to model open and honest communication for your child. This is how they learn!
  1. Lastly, as your child works to rebuild trust, show them that their efforts matter by gradually giving them more space. When teens feel trusted, they’re less likely to hide things and more willing to open up. Ultimately, we want our children to know that even when they make mistakes, we still love them and are willing to forgive. Holding them to high standards is important, but those expectations should feel achievable—not overwhelming.
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The Benefits of Outdoor Play

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By Lizzie Raben, MSW, LSW – June 20, 2024 –

Are children disconnecting from nature? According to The National Recreation and Parks Association, today’s children spend less time outdoors than any other generation.

On average, children spend less than 10 minutes per day outside in unstructured play, compared to seven hours spent indoors in front of an electronic device. That’s around 1,200 hours a year in front of a screen. Multiple studies show that too much screen time leads to several detrimental effects on a child’s physical and mental well-being. Lack of development of fine and gross motor skills, increased risk for obesity, anxiety, depression, and decreased social interaction are just a few of these negative effects.

According to the website health.harvard.edu, while electronics play a pertinent role in decreased outdoor play, there are other contributing factors, such as concerns about sun exposure, emphasis on scheduled activities and achievements, and lack of safe outdoor play areas.

So why is outdoor play important? The following are reasons children need to play outside:

Physical Health: Immunity and Exercise

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, studies show many children have Vitamin D deficiencies. We need sun exposure to make Vitamin D, an essential vitamin used in many body processes such as bone development and building our immune system. Sun exposure stimulates a part of the brain called the pineal gland, crucial to keeping our immune system strong and improving our mood.

According to Harvard Health Blog, children should be active at least one hour a day. Allowing children to play outside encourages active play, considered the best exercise for children. When children play outside, they have more space for big movements: running, jumping, kicking, and throwing. These physical movements foster physical development.

Mental Health

When children spend time outdoors, they experience reduced levels of stress. Sunlight boosts serotonin levels, which helps regulate our mood and can decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression. Allowing children to play outside provides them with a natural and therapeutic environment.

Executive Function and Social Skills

Unstructured outdoor play allows children to build executive function skills. These mental skills allow us to negotiate, plan, multitask, troubleshoot, and more – all essential for daily life tasks. Spending time in nature allows children to explore, fostering their creativity and imagination. Children need time alone and with other children to use their imagination to problem-solve, entertain themselves, create their own games, etc.

It’s important that children learn social skills such as how to share, take turns, work together, make friends, and treat other people well. Only interacting in structured settings (like school) does not always allow the child to build these skills. Allowing them to play outside gives them space to practice these life skills.

Need some simple outdoor play ideas for your kiddo? Check out the following articles:

https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/play-learning/outdoor-play/outdoor-play

25 Ideas To Make Outdoor Play Fun
50 Outdoor Activities for Kids
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Staying Grounded in an Ever-Changing World  

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By Lizzie Raben, MSW – July 17, 2022 –

The last few years have brought new sources of uncertainty and unforeseen challenges to everyone’s lives.  As we’ve moved forward from a global pandemic, we’ve all adjusted to embrace new ways of living to accommodate the needs of our society.  

It takes time to adapt to change; however, there are simple habits each of us can employ to make it easier to stay grounded and reconnect with the people and activities that enrich our day-to-day lives. 

1.     Staying connected is crucial to preserving important relationships. It is more important than ever to purposefully find ways to both reconnect and stay connected with one another. Though many of us may associate virtual meeting spaces with the isolation we experienced early in the pandemic, don’t discount the benefits of maintaining virtual connections with our friends and families when we cannot gather in person.   

2.     Re-establish routines that work for you. Throughout the pandemic, many of us sacrificed parts of our routines that enriched our mental and physical health. If daily trips to the gym went by the wayside during the pandemic, consider re-establishing this healthy aspect of your routine if you feel comfortable doing so. Alternatively, if you adopted new routines throughout the pandemic such as going on daily walks or reading a chapter of a book each night, make an effort to keep those healthy habits in your routine.  

3.    Commit to finding a healthy balance. Although the pandemic brought additional stressors, it also allowed people the ability to slow down and reflect upon the good and bad aspects of their lifestyle. Now that the world has largely opened back up, don’t feel obligated to accept every social invitation you receive if you’d rather take some time for self-care.  

4.     Forgive yourself and others. Within the new times we face, we’ve all had to accommodate new societal expectations. It is important for us to continue granting others some grace, as everyone adapts to change at their own pace. While we cannot control the ever-changing world around us, we can control our reactions. By letting things go and forgiving, we can treat ourselves and others with the compassion each of us deserve.  

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