Tag Archive for: Sarah Audu

Handling the Terrible Twos

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By Sarah Audu, MSW, LSW, Youth First, Inc.

It seems all new parents are warned about the much-dreaded “terrible twos.” I have reflected upon my own journey as a new mom and have given this phrase much thought and consideration.

Throughout pregnancy, new parents dream of what their child will be like, and their love for this child is already indescribable. When the child is born, our love for them only grows a million times more. At the same time, parents are trying to figure out how to care for a tiny human, which is a process full of self-doubt and deep emotions.

Society understands that having a newborn is hard, and support is commonly shown to new parents. Is that same support always given to parents when their baby grows into a toddler?

Imagine a time when you’ve seen a toddler throw a tantrum at the grocery store. Situations like those can often be viewed as annoying, obnoxious, or simply the result of bad parenting. Now that I am the mother of a two-year-old, I have more respect for parents raising toddlers, because this phase is not for the weak! (LOL)

Behavioral tantrums can include kicking, hitting, crying, screaming, throwing themselves on the ground, rolling around, and more. Tantrums may be triggered by something that upset the child, such as being told “no,” or can occur for seemingly no reason at all.

These negative behavioral outbursts are extremely defeating for parents. Parents are typically putting their best effort towards teaching their children to behave positively, make good choices, communicate effectively, and calm down when they are upset.

In my own experience, I try my best to teach my child positive social-emotional skills and practice these things with him daily. However, that did not stop him from screaming, kicking, and refusing to walk with me when we were trying to leave a restaurant.

One arm was carrying a heavy infant seat with my 8-month-old, and my other arm was carrying my toddler, who was still screaming and refusing to walk. I received many annoyed stares from bystanders, and the looks on their faces just communicated, “Why can’t you get him to stop?” I was trying everything. I felt so defeated.

I am forever grateful for the woman who stopped me right before I reached the door and said, “Would you care if I helped you?”

What needs to be remembered is that toddlers are still trying to figure out this big world. They are trying to learn to communicate and express themselves. They are trying to find their independence.

As I reflect on my experiences, the word that comes to mind is “grace.” As adults and parents, we should put more effort into showing grace to toddlers as they navigate the world. We should show more grace to other parents, as they are trying their best. Lastly, we should be intentional about showing grace to ourselves, as we have earned it as well.

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Children, Grief and the Holidays

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By Sarah Audu, LSW – December 22, 2021 –

Grief is often viewed as a sensitive subject, for obvious reasons. It is something we tend to maneuver around with caution. This is likely because each person experiences some form of grief in their lifetime, and we as humans are empathetic towards each other.

We want to handle each other’s struggles and emotions with care. An even more fragile subject to consider is the grief of a child. It is our human nature to want to be gentle and cautious when helping a child who is experiencing something difficult in their life. This can lead to us being hesitant for fear of saying the wrong thing as we try to support them.

Losing a loved one is not the only form of grief a child may experience. Grief can be the emotional result of many scenarios, such as a child’s parents getting a divorce or a best friend moving away. These difficult situations produce hard emotions for the child, because they are experiencing change, pain, and loss. When a child experiences these changes, he/she must learn to cope in the the best ways they know how.

The holiday season is supposed to be a joyous time for all. However, many people dread this time of year due to the pain and grief they are feeling inside. One child may be struggling this holiday season because this is the first year her family will be celebrating Christmas without her father, who suddenly passed away. Another child may be trying to cope with their mother living across the country, confused and unsure when they will get to see mom again.

Every person deals with grief, pain, and loss differently. Experiencing depression, anxiety, and sadness is often viewed as the “normal” emotional reaction to grief. However, some people may state they feel alright most of the time. It may be more healing and beneficial for them to go through their daily routine as they did before, and deal with the painful stings of grief as they arise.

Children are very resilient. They are commonly much stronger than we imagine them to be, especially while facing a challenging situation that has caused them emotional pain. Something we can do to ease the pain of grieving children during the holidays is to follow their lead in conversation and pay close attention to how they are handling their emotions. They may surprise you and show exactly what they need from you in that moment.

Some children may want to deal with their grief in this season by continuing with past traditions and including their loved ones in a new way. Children may also want to start different traditions and create new memories.

What we know for sure is that children have big hearts, and this season gives us a wonderful opportunity to hold them a little closer and give them the support they need during challenging times.

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