Tag Archive for: Vicki Kirkman

Setting Your Middle School Student Up for Success

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By Vicki Kirkman, LCSW, LCAC – August 1, 2024 –

The transition to middle school can be an intimidating yet exciting time for both students and parents. During a time when young adolescents are gaining independence and facing more responsibilities, it is vital that parents stay involved and continue to nurture the child-parent bond.

In preparation for this important milestone, there are several ways to help your student feel prepared and have success.

Ask your child their thoughts about preparing for middle school. Questions like, “What are you most excited about?” “Is there anything you want to know more about before you start school?” and “Do you have any worries about middle school?” can help you understand more about how your child is feeling.

Take time to physically scope out the location of the school. Many area schools host visits prior to school starting, so your child may have already visited during their last few months of elementary school. Be sure to follow up on that visit and ask your child how they felt about meeting the new staff and being in the school building.  If your child did not participate in a visit, ask to tour the building before school starts.

Talk with your child about the many changes middle school will bring. Middle school students have to learn how to navigate different classrooms/teachers throughout the school day. Often, buildings are bigger and the length of passing periods will limit how much time your child has between classes. Help them learn how to manage their time so they can have bathroom breaks, get water, or visit with friends and still be on time to class.

Time management is also important when students have more classes in middle school. Teaching your child how to make “to do” lists, organize their school material, and plan their day so they can manage classes and other afterschool activities can set them up for success.

Encourage your child to take advantage of all that middle school has to offer. Afterschool activities or clubs, sports, or new areas of interest like band or choir can provide a way for your child to meet new people and have new experiences. Keep them connected to activities outside of school too, such as volunteer opportunities, faith-based activities, or commitments that are important to your family.

Discuss characteristics that your child thinks are important to look for when keeping and making new friends. Adolescents at this age start to really value and rely on their peer relationships. Talking about values and behaviors that are important to your child will help encourage healthy friendships.

Keep open communication with your child about their growth and development. Their bodies and emotions are changing rapidly and it’s important for them to understand what is normal and how to manage the challenges that come along with puberty. Stay up to date with appointments with their primary care doctor and dentist for good health. Model and encourage good stress management and coping skills. Getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising, and engaging in fun activities are habits they can develop and use their whole life.

Identify professionals in the building that can help if your student is feeling overwhelmed or needs extra support. Identify a teacher, counselor, school social worker, school nurse or other administrators as go-to people if your child needs assistance. Ask for help if more specialized support is needed. School social workers and counselors can provide ideas and referrals if community resources are needed for the student and family.

Lastly, stay engaged in your child’s education. Attend school events, sign up and read communications from the school, utilize email to stay in touch with teachers, and ask your child open-ended questions about how their day went to stay informed. If you stay attentive and involved, your middle school student will be set up for success.

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Help for Stressed Out Kids

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By Vicki Kirkman, LCSW, LCAC – May 13, 2022 –

Stress is a natural part of life and something that everyone experiences.  It can be positive or negative and affect your daily life greatly if not managed appropriately. In some situations, stress can motivate us to do better or work toward hard-to-reach goals. Other circumstances can leave someone feeling overwhelmed, anxious and out of control. 

Children and teens are affected by stress in several ways. Parents need to remember that all children respond to situations and experiences differently. What causes stress for one child or teen might not affect another one. However, some stressors are common for children and teens. These stressors include pressure at school, being involved in too many after school activities or conflict with friends and family. 

Other big and complicated issues like divorce, death of a loved one, drug use, and financial problems at home contribute to stress. Medical illnesses and world events like natural disasters or war and conflict can also be sources of stress.

It’s important for parents to recognize the signs and symptoms of stress in their children and help them manage it in a healthy manner. Young children who are stressed may complain of stomach aches, headaches or say they just don’t feel well. 

They may try to avoid attending school or visit the school nurse frequently. They may also be more tearful than normal, have trouble sleeping, wet the bed or not eat as much at meals. Some children experience nightmares or have acting-out behaviors such as outbursts or tantrums.

Teenagers can experience many physical reactions to stress, including digestive problems, headaches, tense muscles, racing heart, frequent colds and fatigue. Teens might also feel overly emotional, irritable, depressed and experience mood swings. 

Mentally, teens with stress overload may feel forgetful, lack concentration and have a negative attitude. Both children and teens often withdraw from activities they enjoy and isolate themselves from friends if they experience too much stress.

Parents can play a key role in helping their children and teens manage stress. Most importantly, parents can model good coping skills and stress management in their own lives. If children see their parents deal with stress in a healthy and positive manner, they are more likely to apply that to their own life. 

Other ways parents can help their children are listed below. 

  • Teach your kids how to identify their body’s cues for stress overload. Pay attention to headaches, upset stomach, tearfulness or tense muscles.
  • Limit extra-curricular activities. Too many evenings participating in sports, extra lessons, or just running errands can cause kids and teens to become tired and pressed for time to do homework or just relax.
  • Prepare ahead of time to avoid extra hassles. Lay out the next day’s clothes, pack lunches, put homework and bags in an easy place to grab, etc.
  • Monitor and limit exposure to television, social media and cell phone. Phones should be put away at night so kids can sleep and not be tempted to text friends or surf the internet.
  • Encourage relaxation and leisurely activities with friends and family.
  • Get plenty of rest and eat a healthy diet.
  • Teach communication skills like problem solving, good decision making and sharing feelings and thoughts with others.
  • Recognize when stress is too big to tackle alone. Don’t hesitate to speak to a Youth First Social Worker in your child’s school, counselor or doctor for extra support and help.

Stress management is crucial in life and best handled with the guidance of parents and supportive adults. By helping children and teens manage stress, they can be better prepared for life’s challenges.  

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Youth First Highlights Vicki Kirkman – Social Work Week 2022

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Vicki Kirkman, LCSW, LCAC – Youth First Social Worker at Gibson Southern High School in Gibson County

Q: What is the most rewarding part of your job?

A: A few of the most rewarding parts of my job are getting to meet so many students and being part of their high school career. I really enjoy working with families and teachers to help students recognize and achieve their goals. I love being a part of their support circle and experience “aha” moments with them. It is exciting when former students reach out and share how they are doing years later!

Q: Which mental health tools/strategies do you think are the most impactful or effective for students?

A: I think some mental health strategies that are most impactful and effective for students include stress and time management skills, being able to identify supportive people in their life, and mood management skills.  I also encourage students to practice gratitude and set goals to work toward, which can create a sense of purpose and direction. 

Q: How has social work influenced the way you view younger generations?

A: Social work has influenced how I look at the younger generation in a positive way.  Every day, I am amazed at how resilient and determined the students I work with are.  They have a way of looking at the world and challenges with a fresh set of eyes and come up with such creative ways to tackle those issues!

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Using Social Media Responsibly

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By Vicki Kirkman, LCSW, LCAC – Feb. 25, 2020

Everywhere you look you see people with their heads down staring at a bright screen, often consumed with the endless communication, information and entertainment that an electronic device provides.  Cell phones, tablets, smart watches and computers are everywhere! 

Kids and teenagers growing up in this digital age are learning how to use technology at a huge rate of speed.  When used appropriately, there are so many positive benefits that come with technology and using social media.  There are also many risks and potential harmful consequences to social media use.

The Oxford Reference defines social media as “websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.”  There are many social media platforms that teenagers use, but some of the most popular among that age group include Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, Tik Tok and Twitter. Facebook, Skype, Pinterest, Vine and Linked In are other popular social media sites that people of various age groups use.

One of the best benefits of social media is it allows people to easily stay connected through messaging, video chats or photographs.  It can provide opportunities to meet people from all areas of the world without even leaving the comfort of your own home.  Social media also provides so many platforms to express feelings, thoughts and opinions. It’s a great way to explore and learn more about various interests and stay informed about current events. Social media and technology can help someone develop or discover a community or support network too.

Along with the benefits of social media, risks and negative consequences can arise.  Too much social media use can result in lower interaction with family, friends, or co-workers.  Exposure to inappropriate content like violence and pornography is highly possible without the use of monitoring and parental control applications.  Inappropriate behavior such as bullying, slander, or sending/posting risky pictures can happen because a social media user has a false sense of security behind the screen.  Often people don’t consider that their digital footprint can last forever. 

Lack of sleep or interrupted sleep is another negative side effect of too much social media use.  Some people report feeling anxious or depressed after using social media. Pictures and stories often depict someone’s “best of the best” or “highlight reel.”  The pressure to keep posts engaging, picture-perfect and time-worthy can add to feelings of anxiety.  It is easy to start comparing your life to someone else’s digital life and feel down or not good enough. 

Young people have the ability to be in contact with friends all the time, thus leaving them with a sense of no privacy and “too connected” with peers.  Despite the constant ability to stay in contact, they can also feel lonely at the same time. Due to apps that share your location or show if a message has been read, it can be apparent if someone is ignoring or not including you.

Listed below are some good reminders about using social media and technology responsibly to make the most of the positive benefits it can offer.

  • Develop and tend to your real life relationships and experiences.
  • Take an honest self-assessment of your use. How much are you using social media and why?
  • Be yourself and be nice!
  • Set limits and take breaks. For example, no posting during homework time, shut phone off or keep in another room during sleeping hours, make “technology free” rules with peers and family members.
  • Don’t share your passwords with friends.
  • Learn about privacy settings and review them often.
  • Utilize social reporting policies and sites.
  • Always think before you post.
  • If you’re a parent, monitor and set limits for your children and teen’s social media use, have honest conversations about the benefits and risks, and model appropriate social media and technology use yourself.
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* Supporting and Facilitating Stress Management in Children & Teens *

By Vicki Kirkman, LCSW, LCAC – February 21, 2017 – Courier & Press –

Stress is a natural part of life and something everyone experiences.  It can be positive or negative and affect your daily life greatly if not managed appropriately.

In some situations, stress can motivate us to do better or work toward hard-to-reach goals.  Other circumstances can leave someone feeling overwhelmed, anxious and out of control.

Children and teens are affected by stress in several ways.  Parents need to remember that all children respond to situations differently.  What causes stress for one child or teen might not affect another one.

However, some stressors are common for children and teens.  These stressors include pressure at school, being involved in too many after-school activities, or conflict with friends and family.

Other big and complicated issues like divorce, death of a loved one, drug use, and financial problems at home contribute to stress.  Medical illnesses and world events like natural disasters or war can also be sources of stress.

It’s important for parents to recognize signs of stress in their children and help them manage it in a healthy manner.  Young children who are stressed out may complain of stomach aches, headaches or say they don’t feel well.  At school, they may visit the school nurse frequently or try to avoid attending school.  They may also be more tearful than normal, have trouble sleeping, wet the bed or not eat as much at meals.  Some children experience nightmares or have acting-out behavior such as outbursts and tantrums.

Teenagers can experience many physical reactions to stress.  Digestive problems and headaches, tense muscles, racing heart, frequent colds and feeling fatigued are all signs of stress.  Teens might also feel overly emotional, irritable, depressed and experience mood swings.

Mentally, teens with stress overload may feel forgetful, lack concentration and have a negative attitude.  Both children and teens often withdraw from activities they enjoy and isolate themselves from friends if they experience too much stress.

Parents can play a key role in helping their children and teens manage stress.  Most importantly, parents can model good coping skills and stress management in their own lives.  If children see their parents deal with stress in a healthy and positive manner, they are more likely to apply that to their own life.

Other ways parents can help their children are listed below.

  • Teach your kids how to identify their body’s cues for stress overload.  Pay attention to headaches, upset stomach, tearfulness or tense muscles.
  • Limit extra-curricular activities. Too many evenings participating in sports, extra lessons or just running errands can cause kids and teens to become tired and pressed for time to do homework or just relax.
  • Prepare ahead of time to avoid extra hassles. Lay out the next day’s clothes, pack lunches, put homework and bags in an easy place to grab, etc.
  • Monitor and limit exposure to television, social media and cell phone use. Phones should be put away at night so kids can sleep and not be tempted to text friends or surf the internet.
  • Encourage relaxation and leisurely activities with friends and family.
  • Get plenty of rest and eat a healthy diet.
  • Teach communication skills like problem-solving, good decision making and sharing feelings and thoughts with others.
  • Recognize when stress is too big of an issue to tackle alone. Don’t hesitate to speak to a counselor, social worker or doctor for extra support and help.

Stress management is crucial in life and best handled with the guidance of parents and supportive adults. By helping children and teens manage stress, they can be better prepared for life’s challenges.

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