Teenage Attitude – What’s Under the Surface?

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By Chasidy Lambert, MSW, LSW – April 8, 2026 –

Adolescence is a time often marked by mood swings, intense emotions, and confusion. Stress, anxiety, and even depression can feel like constant companions. Anyone who has lived with, taught, or even briefly interacted with a teenager knows that something powerful is happening beneath the surface, and it’s far more than just “attitude.”

Teenagers are navigating a complex mix of hormonal changes and rapid development, all while trying to understand themselves and the world around them. Even when it may seem like they’re not trying, they are often doing the best they can to keep up.

These changes are needed for development and growth, not just physically, but emotionally. Hormones act as chemical messengers, sending signals throughout the body and brain. At times, those messages can feel contradictory, blurring the lines between “grow stronger” and “feel deeply uncertain.”

While hormones are doing exactly what they’re meant to do, they can also create turbulence in a teen’s mood. During adolescence, it’s as if the brain turns the hormone faucet on full blast, and sometimes the handle comes off entirely. The result isn’t a problem to fix, but a perfectly normal teen who often feels out of control.

During adolescence, a teen’s brain is reshaped, with neurons and synapses constantly reorganizing. Some connections are strengthened while others are pruned away to make the system more efficient. This helps explain why a teen’s decision-making can look so different from an adult’s. Their brains are still under construction, especially in areas responsible for judgment, impulse control, and long-term thinking. 

Puberty triggers the release of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, the sex hormones that drive the visible changes we often focus on, like growth spurts, voice changes, acne, and body development. What’s discussed far less is how these same hormones hijack emotions, decision-making, sleep patterns, and self-esteem. When adults understand this fuller picture, it becomes much easier to support teens as they navigate the challenges of everyday life.  

If you’ve seen the movie Inside Out, you’ve already caught a glimpse of how a young brain adapts to change. In real life, the limbic system – the part of the brain that drives emotions – develops earlier than the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for impulse control, planning, and logical thinking. Teens often feel things deeply and intensely before they can fully reason through those feelings. It’s like having a racecar engine paired with bicycle brakes. Hormones add even more fuel to the engine, and suddenly everything can feel loud, fast, and overwhelming.

This is why a teen can go from laughing to sobbing in a matter of minutes. It’s why a missing hoodie can feel like a full-blown crisis, and why “I’m fine” so often means the opposite. Hormones don’t just influence emotions; they amplify them, making joy feel euphoric and disappointment feel overwhelming. When adults respond with phrases like “you’re overreacting,” they miss the mark. From a teen’s perspective, those feelings are very real and deeply felt. Kids need guidance and support in these moments. 

Other common changes include risk-taking, poor impulse control, pushing boundaries, and shifts in sleep patterns. Hormones also influence how teens see themselves and how they believe others see them. Body changes can cause intense self-consciousness. A single comment about appearance can echo for years. Hormonal shifts also interact with mental health, sometimes intensifying anxiety, depression, or irritability. For teens already navigating trauma, stress, or unstable environments, hormones can magnify everything they’re carrying.

So, what helps? First, adults need to pause and remember that this phase is temporary, even when it feels endless. Validation is important. Saying “that sounds really hard” goes further than “you’ll get over it.” Consistent boundaries, when paired with genuine empathy, create a sense of safety. Teens still need structure, even when they loudly insist that they don’t. This is where many parents struggle: finding the balance between firmness and understanding. A helpful place to start is by asking, “What are my boundaries? Am I responding with empathy to what they’re experiencing?”

Education is powerful. Teens deserve to know what’s happening with their bodies, and knowing that hormones are shaping their reactions can be incredibly empowering. Humor can help, too. Try something like, “Your brain is running a software update right now, and it’s a little glitchy.” Teens get that.

Hormones don’t make teenagers impossible; rather, they make them human while navigating one of the most confusing and tender stages of life. Beneath the mood swings, eye rolls, and dramatic sighs are young people trying to understand who they are while their bodies rewrite the rules almost daily. They’re not giving us a hard time – they’re having a hard time. And honestly? Considering everything they’re juggling, they’re doing remarkably well.

Chasidy Lambert, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Castle High School in Warrick County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Youth First Arms Parents with Online Safety Strategies for Kids

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“Parenting in a Digital World” to Take Place at Mitchell High School; Open to Local Parents and Community Leaders

[Mitchell, IN] On Thursday, April 2, Youth First is hosting a community event to arm parents with online safety strategies and proper social media use for kids. The presentation begins at 6:00 pm in the Mitchell High School cafeteria with refreshments provided. The media is invited.

The Youth First presentation, called Parenting in a Digital World, focuses on how to keep children safe online and with social media use. Presenting speaker is Laura Keys, LCSW, LCPC-S, Vice President of Programs & Services at Youth First. Keys will explore the digital environments young people encounter every day and highlight risks associated with social media use, the platforms and apps most popular with youth, the most concerning digital trends, and practical strategies for keeping kids safe online.

This community event is hosted by Youth First and Mitchell Community Schools and is sponsored by the Lawrence County Local Coordinating Council and Hoosier Uplands. Refreshments will be provided by El Compadre Mexican Restaurant and the Spring Mill State Park Inn.

Parents, caregivers, and community leaders are invited. Specifically, this presentation will engage parents of middle and high school students from Mitchell and Bedford schools.

Youth First’s mission of strengthening youth and families ensures mental health support for students in partner schools and bonding programs for families in the community. Across its service footprint, Youth First partners with over 130 schools in 14 Indiana counties to embed substance misuse prevention programs and over 100 skilled mental health professionals in school buildings, where they provide caring mental health support for students and prevention coaching for parents and teachers. Youth First Mental Health Professionals build caring relationships, foster readiness for positive change, and boost resiliency, along with other valuable life skills.

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The Power of a Simple Conversation

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By Diane Moesner, MSW, LCSW – March 25, 2026 –

Talking to your child every day is one of the most powerful investments a parent can make.  Daily conversations do more than exchange information; they also build trust, emotional security, and a lifelong habit of communication. 

It’s a great feeling when these daily exchanges become so expected by your child that they start asking you the questions before you even get to ask them.  When children know they can talk to you regularly, they are more likely to share their thoughts, worries, successes, and struggles as they grow. These seemingly small everyday moments really lay the foundation for stronger relationships through the teenage years and into young adulthood.

Consistent conversation helps children feel seen and valued. When an adult takes time to listen, it sends the message that the child’s thoughts and feelings matter. This sense of importance helps strengthen self-esteem and emotional resilience. Children who feel heard are often better able to manage emotions, solve problems, and form healthy relationships with others. These daily moments of connection also give parents insight into their child’s world, making it easier to notice when changes in behavior, mood, or needs happen quickly.

Conversations do not have to be long or deep to matter. Small moments count, and consistency is important. Simple, open-ended questions can open big doors. 

Instead of asking “How was school?”, which often leads to a one-word answer, try asking:

  • “What was the best part of your day?”
  • “Did anything surprise you today?”

Some additional simple starters are:

  • “What made you laugh today?”
  • “What was something tricky you dealt with today?”
  • “If today had a title, what would it be?”

Be prepared to answer these questions about your day as well and share a little about yourself with your child. If the conversation feels stuck or your child is slower to warm up to the idea, you can start by saying:

  • “Something that challenged me today was…”
  • “I felt proud when…”

This side of the conversation shows that talking about feelings is normal and safe. Children often open up more when they are included in a two-way conversation rather than being interviewed.

To get your child excited about this part of the day, consistency and creativity matter.  Choose a regular time, such as during dinner, bedtime or a car ride, so conversation becomes a comforting part of the routine rather than a surprise demand. Make it relaxed and judgment-free.  If children sense that they won’t be criticized or rushed, they are more likely to participate willingly.

Turning conversations into something fun can also help, especially when just starting and the conversation isn’t flowing automatically. You might create a jar filled with ready-to-go conversation starter questions that are silly and thoughtful and take turns picking one. You can play simple games like “highs and lows” of the day, or “rose, thorn, and bud” (something good, something hard, and something you are looking forward to).

Most importantly, keep the focus on connection, not correction. Daily conversations should feel like a safe place to share, not a lecture. When children associate talking with warmth, attention, and enjoyment, they begin to look forward to it (and will begin to initiate it). Over time, these small daily talks add up, shaping confident communicators who know they are loved, valued, and never alone!

Diann Moesner, MSW, LCSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Elberfeld Elementary School and Lynnville Elementary School in Warrick County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Building Resilience in Your Child

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By Jordyn Bryant, MSW, LSW – March 13, 2026 –

Today’s children are growing up in a world that rarely slows down. Screens glow late into the evening, schedules stay packed, and social pressures begin earlier than ever.

Many children are navigating constant input – academically, socially, and digitally, and their nervous systems often feel the impact. It is no surprise that we are seeing more anxiety, irritability, low frustration tolerance, and big emotional reactions from kids. When children are overstimulated, even small disappointments can feel overwhelming. The good news is that resilience is not something a child either has or does not have. It is a skill set, and skill sets can be learned, practiced, and strengthened over time.

Emotional resilience is a child’s ability to manage big feelings, adapt to change, recover from setbacks, solve problems, and continue trying, even after disappointment. Resilient children are not children who never struggle. They are children who learn that struggle is manageable and temporary. They trust that hard feelings will pass, and they have the tools and support to get through challenges.

Here’s how parents and caregivers can help a child build resilience:

1. Connect Before You Correct – When emotions run high, connection lowers defenses. Before addressing behavior, acknowledge the feelings below the surface. Simple phrases like “I can see you’re frustrated,” or “That felt really hard,” help children feel understood. Validation does not mean agreement; it means recognizing their internal experience. A regulated child learns better than a reprimanded one. When children feel safe, they are more open to guidance and problem-solving.

2. Teach Emotional Language – Children cannot regulate what they cannot name. Help them move beyond “mad” or “fine” by identifying feelings such as disappointed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, jealous, nervous, or left out. Expanding emotional vocabulary builds self-awareness and reduces intensity. You might say, “It sounds like you felt left out when that happened,” giving them language for their experience. Over time, this awareness becomes the foundation for self-control.

3. Normalize Mistakes and Setbacks – In a high-pressure world, many children fear failure. Instead of rushing to fix problems or minimize disappointment, guide reflection. Ask questions like, “What could we try next time?” or “What did you learn from this?” When adults respond calmly to mistakes, children learn that failure is information, not identity. Resilience grows when children experience manageable challenges and discover they can move through them.

4. Create Predictable Calm – In an overstimulated environment, children need rhythms that feel safe. Consistent bedtime routines, screen-free family time, outdoor play, and moments without background noise help regulate the nervous system. Predictability reduces anxiety and creates space for emotional recovery. Even small rituals, such as reading together at night or sharing highs and lows at dinner, anchor children in stability.

5. Model Healthy Regulation – Children “borrow our calm” and our coping skills. When adults say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a deep breath,” it demonstrates that emotions are normal and manageable. Modeling repair is powerful too. Saying, “I raised my voice earlier, and I’m sorry,” teaches accountability and emotional safety.

We cannot remove all stress from our children’s lives, nor should we. Learning to handle challenges is part of growing. What children need most is not perfection, but relationships. When a child knows they are seen, heard, and supported, they develop the confidence to face difficulty. In a world full of noise and pressure, a steady, connected adult is the greatest source of strength. Resilience is not built in big, dramatic moments. It is built through everyday conversations, small repairs, consistent presence, and the quiet reassurance that they are not alone.

Jordyn Bryant, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Stringtown Elementary School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Helping Hands and Paws: Therapy Animals Help Students Succeed in School

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By Callie Sanders, MSW, LSW – March 4, 2026 –

Increasingly, schools across the country are incorporating therapy animals, particularly dogs, to help students feel calmer, more focused, and better prepared to learn. These programs, known as animal-assisted interventions (AAIs), are utilized in elementary and middle schools to support students in various ways. Research shows that spending time with trained animals can help children improve their emotional regulation, behavior, and even their reading skills.

Researchers interviewed school staff in San Antonio, Texas, during a study conducted in 2022 to learn how therapy animals were helping students. Teachers and counselors said they noticed big improvements in student behavior. Many children became less aggressive and more willing to talk about their feelings. Others who struggled with anxiety or trauma began to feel safer and more comfortable in school. Some staff said students even looked forward to coming to school just to see the therapy dog. While there were some concerns about safety, allergies, and planning, most teachers said the program was worth it.

Animal-assisted reading programs are also becoming more popular in younger grades. These programs let children read aloud to a calm, nonjudgmental dog. This helps them feel more confident and less afraid of making mistakes. A study published in 2014 concluded that students who read to dogs for ten weeks showed major improvements in reading speed, accuracy, and understanding, more than those who read to adults or stuffed animals. Even better, the progress continued for weeks after the program ended. Children stayed more engaged in the classroom and enjoyed reading.

Animal-assisted programs also help students with autism. A 2020 review in the journal Autism Research looked at 16 different studies involving nearly 500 children with autism. The review found that spending time with therapy animals helped many of these students improve their communication and social skills. Research shows that therapy animals can also be a great support in special education classrooms or in one-on-one sessions.

Therapy animals can help in many ways at school. They can sit quietly with a child during a stressful moment, listen to a student practice reading, or visit classrooms to create a peaceful mood. Schools that use trained animals and follow safety guidelines can create new opportunities for learning and healing.

These programs help all kinds of students, from those with learning difficulties to those who just need a little extra emotional support. In a time when concerns about student mental health and classroom stress are at an all-time high, animal-assisted interventions are proving to be more than just a feel-good idea. They are real, research-backed tools that help kids succeed both in and out of the classroom.

Callie Sanders, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Fort Branch Community School, Haubstadt Community School, and Owensville Community School in Gibson County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Support for Children Experiencing Domestic Violence

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By Kelsey Weber, MSW, LCSW – February 25,2025 –

Family and domestic violence is a common problem in the United States. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence. Unfortunately, children in the home are also victims. Domestic violence can have severe effects on a child’s emotional, social, and academic well-being. Therefore, parents, caregivers, and educators must collaborate to support children experiencing domestic violence.

Let’s start in the classroom. Educators need to create a safe space where the child feels comfortable communicating, sharing experiences, and expressing emotions. Establishing open communication with a student in the classroom is the first step in establishing trust. Educators can establish open communication by encouraging gentle conversations, engaging in active listening without judgment, and providing reassurance that the child is not alone. Encouraging students to express their feelings aids in the healing process.

To effectively support a child, it is important to recognize the signs of trauma. Children exposed to domestic violence may exhibit behavioral changes at home and/or school. These signs may include, but are not limited to, withdrawal, aggression, anger outbursts, and anxiety. Parents and caregivers should monitor changes and seek professional help when necessary. Identifying a trusted adult that your child can speak to is crucial, providing an additional layer of emotional support.

It is also essential for parents to collaborate with the school by informing teachers/support staff about situations that have arisen, so that staff can support them academically and emotionally. Many schools have counselors or mental health professionals in the building who can offer additional support if needed. Working together with a child’s school ensures that the student receives support when needed.

When teachers are aware that a student experiences trauma at home, they can tailor their educational approach to meet the unique needs of that student. Recognizing that students may face challenges in concentration or participation, teachers can implement strategies such as breaks, flexible deadlines for assignments, additional emotional support outside the classroom, and calming areas inside the classroom. Creating an understanding classroom environment is key to contributing to the child’s academic success.

School staff can also encourage extracurricular activities as a positive outlet for students. Engaging in activities they enjoy can take their mind off the challenges they face at home. This not only contributes to their overall well-being but also builds self-esteem and fosters a sense of accomplishment.

How can parents help at home? Establishing consistent routines provides a sense of stability and comfort at home for a child who may be navigating a tough environment. Creating structure in their daily routine and providing a safe space can contribute to a child’s overall sense of security and create an atmosphere of learning and positive emotional well-being. It is also important for parents and caregivers to actively listen to their child and provide a safe space for them to talk about their feelings when needed.

In cases of domestic violence, seeking professional help is imperative. Connecting with local support services, such as counseling or advocacy organizations, can provide the child and their family with the assistance needed to navigate the complexities of the situation. These services often extend to educational support, ensuring a holistic approach to the child’s well-being.

In conclusion, supporting a student at home dealing with domestic violence requires a collaborative effort between parents, caregivers, educators, and the broader community. By establishing open communication, recognizing signs of trauma, creating stability at home, collaborating with schools, tailoring educational approaches, and seeking professional help when needed, we can contribute to the healing and growth of these resilient individuals. Every child deserves a safe and supportive environment, and by working together, we can make a meaningful impact on their journey towards recovery and success.

Kelsey Weber, MSW, LCSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Chandler Elementary School in Warrick County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Increase Your Coping Skills

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By Jackie Keltner, MSW, LMHCA – February 18, 2026 –

No matter who you are or how old you are, you will likely experience a crisis or something traumatic at some point.

A crisis occurs when an event or situation overwhelms a person’s ability to cope. Trauma is any disturbing experience that causes significant fear, helplessness, confusion, or other disruptive feelings enough to have a long-lasting negative effect on a person’s attitude, behavior, and daily functioning. What is traumatic for one person, however, may not be traumatic for another. These events can be caused by people or nature and can often cause the person to no longer see the world as a safe, just, and predictable place.

The good news is, there are things we can do to help our kids (and ourselves) be less affected by these situations. Research has shown that the quicker a person can cope and begin to process a traumatic event, the less likely they are to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The more coping skills someone has, the less likely they are to feel overwhelmed and go into crisis.

When exploring coping skills, I really like using the BASIC-Ph model to assess a person’s strengths and areas of interest for growth. BASIC-Ph stands for:

  • Beliefs – religion, spirituality, and core values
  • Affect – feelings, emotions, and the ability to express them
  • Social – friendships, relationships, and social groups
  • Imagination – creativity and expression through art, music, and language
  • Cognition – problem-solving, dialogue, and the ability to learn new things
  • Physical – body, exercise, activity, movement

To identify strengths, think of things that you do to help you feel safe and calm or help you feel less stressed and overwhelmed. Now consider what categories those may fall under within the BASIC-Ph Model. Lean into those strengths and consider additional coping strategies in those areas. Some areas may overlap.

For example, maybe religion is a source of comfort and going to church is a coping strategy for you, but your church isn’t open when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Consider reaching out to a spiritual leader or elder, reading a religious text, listening to a religious podcast or music.

Maybe you normally lean on your friends when you have problems but you’re uncomfortable talking with them about a particular situation you’re going through. You might consider counseling, a support group, or a club for people with similar interests.

Also consider things you used to do or enjoy but no longer do. Maybe you used to be an avid reader, but life got too busy, or maybe you used to paint, but your toddler made it impossible (without a huge mess), and you never went back to it when they got older. These are areas you might consider returning to and strengthening.

Set aside time before bed to read or some time over the weekend to paint. Maybe you’ve never tried dancing but always wanted to. Look into signing up for dance classes or finding YouTube tutorials. I would encourage you to consider 1-3 coping areas from the BASIC-Ph model you would like to strengthen, and then for each area, create 1-3 steps you can take to grow or strengthen that coping area.

Coping skills are crucial for regulating emotions, managing stress, preventing burnout, and overall good mental health. Build your toolkit of coping strategies, not only to help manage traumatic situations, but also to be more productive and successful in life. 

Jackie Keltner, MSW, LMHCA, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Paul Hadley Middle School in Morgan County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Creating a Positive Relationship with Motivation

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By Yolanda Vidal, MA, LMHC, ATR – February 11, 2026 –

Motivation is often misunderstood as a personality trait, something you either have or you do not. In reality, motivation is a psychological state that fluctuates based on emotional regulation, self-perception, nervous system balance, and the perception of meaning. When labeling motivation solely as an individual’s discipline or willpower, we overlook the complex processes involved in making sustainable change possible.

Low motivation is rarely about laziness. More often, it is a signal of burnout, depression, anxiety, or unresolved trauma. When the nervous system is in survival mode, the brain prioritizes safety over development and growth. In these states, asking someone to “work harder” can feel invalidating and reinforce shame or negative self-worth.

Creating a positive relationship with motivation involves reframing motivation not as force, but as alignment within your life. Taking time to identify stressors, creating sustainable lifestyle changes, and increasing self-care can be pivotal pieces to balancing one’s relationship with motivation.

The foundation of motivation involves maintaining emotional safety. Chronic stress, perfectionism, and low self-worth can activate the brain’s response system to threats. When this response is activated, the brain’s ability to make decisions is impacted. Our bodies are not meant to function in this survival state for long periods of time. One of the most effective first steps in rebuilding motivation and increasing emotional safety is developing self-compassion.

Self-compassion techniques, such as positive self-talk and normalization, can help reduce overall stress, increase positive self-worth, and decrease feelings of resistance. When individuals learn to speak to themselves with the same empathy that they would offer a loved one, motivation becomes less about fear of failure and more about curiosity and self-respect. Self-compassion supports greater resiliency and a positive relationship with motivation.

To ensure emotional safety, emotional regulation is necessary. Motivation cannot be sustained without a regulated nervous system. Utilizing different mindfulness and grounding techniques can help bring the body out of chronic fight-or-flight and into a state where action feels accessible.

Simple interventions such as deep breathing techniques, body scanning, or brief mindfulness check-ins can significantly decrease stress and improve emotional regulation. When individuals learn to notice how they are functioning internally, they can respond with regulation rather than avoidance. Motivation becomes a byproduct of feeling capable rather than overwhelmed. This is particularly important for individuals with anxiety or trauma histories, where avoidance is often a protective response. By addressing emotional regulation, motivation naturally improves as the nervous system stabilizes.

Sustainable motivation is deeply connected to meaning. Values-based actions and motivation can support long-term engagement and positively impact one’s mental health overall. Identifying core values can open motivation to personal connections that feel meaningful to individuals rather than forced. When actions and goals align with personal values, motivation shifts from “I should” to “This matters to me.”

Management is key when looking to increase motivation. Motivation can improve when goals and tasks are broken into small, achievable steps. Large goals and tasks can often feel unachievable or impossible to complete. Even minimal action, such as five minutes of action, can build confidence and challenge feelings of avoidance. Over time, motivation becomes reinforced through consistent experiences and utilization of skills rather than pressure, shame, or guilt.

Ultimately, motivation is not something to conquer. It is something to listen to. When individuals learn to view motivation as a relationship with themselves, rather than a performance metric, change becomes gentler and more sustainable. Building a positive relationship with motivation honors feeling understood, regulated, and aligned with one’s values. Within this positive relationship, motivation stops being a battle and becomes the natural process of change connected to taking care of ourselves.


Yolanda Vidal, MA, LMHC, ATR, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at McGary Middle School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Expressing Emotions in a Healthy Way

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By Hannah Gill, MSW, LSW – February 4, 2026 –

When working with teens and discussing emotions, I often give an analogy of sand in a jar. In this analogy, the sand is our emotions. We can put the sand in the jar and stuff it down, but eventually the jar will overflow. Likewise, we can suppress emotions without feeling them, but eventually our emotions will surface (whether we want them to or not), and sometimes this will be in ways that are detrimental to the teen and their relationships.

Expressing and feeling our emotions is a vital skill that helps demonstrate resilience. One way we can support teens in expressing their feelings is by modeling and having conversations about emotions.

But first, why is expressing emotions something we should be doing?

It might seem more straightforward not to express our emotions, especially around kids and teens. Adults often try to hide their feelings or bottle them up to appear stronger around their children. While this might seem like a good idea, bottling up our emotions can lead to explosions or not being able to access our emotions (both positive and negative). Thus, when we hide our emotions from our teens, we are actually doing them a disservice. Children and teens learn from the adults around them, and they learn how to regulate and manage their emotions from the adults they trust. If adults are modeling emotional regulation, teens will see that they, too, can feel and regulate their emotions.

So, how do we express our emotions in healthy ways?

There are some things we can do to model healthy expressions of emotion and show teens that it is ok to do the same.

  1. Validate and attend to their emotions calmly and consistently. When they experience big emotions, approach them with a patient and calm demeanor. Teens are very good at reading adults’ body language, so the best thing we can do is approach the situation from a place of calm.
  1. Learn to talk about your emotions and your teen’s emotions. One way we learn to express and regulate our emotions is by naming and discussing them. This could be as simple as a “I feel ______ when this happens” or “It sounds like you are feeling ________” for both positive and negative emotions.
  1. Model emotional expression. Just as we ask teens to discuss their emotions and how they are feeling, adults should model this same behavior. Thus, when an adult is feeling upset or happy or overwhelmed or joyful, they can and should talk about this and use the same feeling words they want the teens in their lives to use
  1. Model regulation and co-regulation. Everyone has a different “toolbox” of emotional regulation tools. Model these tools for your teens. When you feel overwhelmed, acknowledge your feelings and practice coping skills. Maybe this involves taking a few deep breaths before speaking, exercising, or journaling at the end of the day.
  1. Address the situation that is causing a negative emotion. If there is a trigger bringing something up for you, work to resolve this and address any differences.
  1. Practice healthy relaxation. One of the ways we manage emotions is by calming our nervous system and practicing effective relaxation techniques. Not only does this model promote healthy relaxation for the teens in our lives, but it also makes us more equipped to help them handle their emotions.

Feeling our emotions and showing them to the teens in our lives can be scary. Being emotional is vulnerable, and many are taught that we should never show our emotions. However, our emotions are crucial and necessary for happy and healthy relationships. And, like most things, it is a muscle that we can work on and practice, and so can your teen. 

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The Real Cost of Saying “Girl Drama” and “Boys Will Be Boys”

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By Amy Back, MSW, LSW, Youth First, Inc.

One thing I’ve learned from working with children and families is that the language we use matters. The words we choose — often in the heat of the moment — help shape how kids see themselves, understand relationships, and grow into the people they’re becoming.
Two phrases that come up often are “girl drama” and “boys will be boys.” While they may feel like harmless shorthand, they can unintentionally shut down conversations and reinforce outdated ideas about how kids “should” behave.

Let’s start with “girl drama.” When girls have friendship struggles, disagreements, or strong emotional reactions, it’s common to brush them off as drama. But that label can minimize what may actually be a very real emotional experience. It suggests girls are being overly sensitive or irrational when in reality, they’re learning how to communicate, set boundaries, and work through conflict, essential life skills that deserve support, not dismissal.

Similarly, when boys act impulsively or struggle with emotional regulation, we often hear, “Boys will be boys.” While it’s usually said with affection, the phrase can excuse behavior that needs attention and guidance. It also limits boys by sending the message that they aren’t capable of reflection, empathy, or self-control, when in fact, they are.

These kinds of labels can create double standards and missed opportunities for connection. Girls may feel like their emotions are “too much,” and boys may learn that theirs don’t matter. Neither message helps children grow into emotionally healthy adults.
The good news is that small changes in how we talk to (and about) kids can make a big difference. When we stay curious rather than putting on labels, we invite kids into real conversations — and that’s where growth happens.

Here are some takeaways on this subject for parents and guardians:

· Labels like “girl drama” and “Boys will be boys” may feel familiar, but they often overlook important emotional moments.

· Kids of all genders benefit from learning how to express feelings, take responsibility, and navigate relationships, and they need adult support to do that.

· You don’t have to have all the answers. Just slowing down, being curious, and listening without judgment can go a long way.

· The way we respond teaches kids that their emotions matter, and that they don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Amy Back, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at St. Wendel Catholic School in Posey County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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