Tag Archive for: Ashley Underwood

Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

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By Ashley Underwood, MSW, LCSW, Youth First, Inc.

How does one describe a traumatic event? Traumatic is defined as “emotionally disturbing or distressing,” which can vary from person to person, so that question has many answers.

“Adverse Childhood Experience” is a term that refers to various forms of trauma individuals may experience in childhood. This includes experiencing violence, abuse or neglect, witnessing violence in the home or community, having a family member attempt or die by suicide, growing up in a household with substance use problems or mental health problems, or instability due to parental separation or incarcerated family members.

According to the CDC, about 61% of adults surveyed across 25 states reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE before age 18, and nearly 1 in 6 reported they had experienced four or more types of ACEs.

There is a direct link between ACEs and physical health. Unfortunately, for each adverse child experience, there is an increased risk of chronic health issues. Center for Youth Wellness shares that those individuals experiencing 4 or more ACEs are associated with significantly increased risk for 7 out of 10 leading adult causes of death, including heart disease, stroke, cancer, COPD, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, and suicide.

There is also significant detriment that can occur to a child’s brain when experiencing that amount of stress. Experiencing ACEs can impact attention span, memory, stress response, immune system, emotion regulation, decision making skills, and overall learning. We see many of these issues in the school setting on a daily basis, and sadly, it is related to the amount of trauma our children have experienced.

What can we do to help? Prevention is key. The CDC recommends the following six strategies for helping to prevent ACEs:

  • Strengthen economic support for families. This includes churches, community organizations, and non-profits helping with financial distress as well as employers providing adequate pay, time off, and benefits for employees.
  • Promote social norms that protect against violence and adversity. Work to create safe spaces for children and adults to talk about mental health challenges and reinforce the motto, “See something, say something” for children in regards to acts of violence, bullying, abuse, etc.
  • Ensure a strong start for children. This can include funding early education programs for families with affordable options, as well as increasing in-home learning options for parents.
  • Teach skills. Allow programs in schools that promote and teach emotional regulation, conflict resolution, social skills, and boundaries.
  • Connect youth to caring adults and activities. “Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.” -Josh Shipp

Get kids involved in mentoring programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters, encourage teachers to put them in leadership roles at school, have them join after school activities like choir, intramurals, or scouting.

  • Intervene to lessen immediate and long-term harms. Educate the public on ACEs, the risk factors, and the support available including treatment options, resource assistance, and organizations that promote these things.

Let’s do our part! For more information about the ACEs, check out https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html

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Is Your Child Ready for Kindergarten?

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Ashley Underwood, LCSW – July 13, 2021 –

As the mother of a child who will start kindergarten this fall, there’s been a nagging question in the back of my mind: “Is he ready?”

Beginning kindergarten is typically the start of formal education for most children, which can be an extreme transition from life at home or even pre-school/daycare environments.

The academic, social, and emotional demands are much more intensive for children in kindergarten than what was previously expected. Despite these new demands, kindergarten is a wonderful opportunity for children to learn new things, meet new friends, and experience growth.

So, what are some indicators that your child is showing readiness for kindergarten? According to the Mayo Clinic website, these areas are some common readiness milestones that children can show:

  • Demonstrating a curiosity or interest in learning new things
  • Being able to explore new things through their senses
  • Taking turns and cooperating with peers
  • Speaking with and listening to peers and adults
  • Following instructions
  • Communicating how they’re feeling
  • Empathizing with other children
  • Controlling impulses
  • Paying attention
  • Limiting disruptive behaviors

While many of these skills develop between ages 4 and 5, there is not a set age limit at which children obtain these skills. Some parents choose to wait until age 6 to send their child to kindergarten to allow more time for further maturity.

What are some things we can do to help prepare our children for kindergarten before they begin? The National Association for the Education of Young Children provides a list of tips for preparing your child for kindergarten.

1)      Help them develop independence at home. Encourage your child to dress himself, take his coat on and off and hang it up, use the bathroom without assistance, wash his hands without constant reminders, and put on his own shoes.

2)      Teach responsibility. Start transferring small responsibilities over to your child, if you haven’t already.

3)      Develop and follow routines. Set up morning routines that will transfer into a school setting. Getting up around the same time every day, getting dressed, and having an early breakfast together is a great way to transition to a school schedule.

4)      Read aloud to your child. Read a variety of books, read the captions under pictures in the newspaper, even share the comics. Just read together!

5)      Engage them in meaningful literacy activities. Encourage your child to help you with thank you cards, shopping lists, or notes.

6)      Acknowledge their feelings. Your child may express being nervous, not wanting to go or, alternately, feeling very excited to start school. Whatever they feel, take time to acknowledge and appreciate where they are.

It is a big deal to send your child off to school for the first time, and parents want to make sure they are doing everything to ensure their child’s success and happiness. Chances are you’re already practicing many of these skills your child will need for kindergarten. Remember to keep it fun and don’t make it stressful for you or your child!

Additional information about kindergarten readiness from the Indiana Department of Education can be found at: https://www.doe.in.gov/sites/default/files/earlylearning/k-readiness.pdf

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Ashley Underwood, LCSW, Youth First Social Worker at Loge Elementary School and Sharon Elementary School in Warrick County

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It Starts With Hello

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By Ashley Underwood, LCSW – September 16, 2020 –

Hi. Hello. Hola. Bonjour. Ciao. Oi.

Each one of these greetings, along with many others, is the gateway for social interaction. Social interaction with others helps create a culture of inclusion and acceptance.

According to Ferris State University, inclusion is involvement and empowerment, where the inherent worth and dignity of all people is recognized. 

Why is inclusion important in our schools and communities?

Heartland Community College has created the HEIP (Heartland Equity and Inclusion Project), which identified the following reasons that inclusion is important:

  1. Inclusion molds the values of the next generation of children.
    • Students see a person first and the person’s disability second.
    • Students learn to practice empathy and appreciate the value of diversity.
  2. Inclusion provides opportunities for friendships.
    • The development of friendships requires close proximity and a common experience. Keeping children together encourages both objectives.
    • Students develop a comfortable way to interact with students with disabilities.
    • Children with disabilities attend the same school as their neighborhood friends.
  3. Inclusion prepares individuals for adult life in the community.
    • Today’s classmates are tomorrow’s employers and co-workers.
    • Community life includes people of all abilities.
  4. Inclusion helps create family-like social structures outside of the home.
    • Siblings can be educated together at the same school.
    • Parents are not stretched between two or more school settings.
  5. Inclusion cultivates an enriched learning environment.
    • Additional resources (therapists, special educators, etc.) in the classroom benefit all children.
    • Diversified teaching strategies and the common use of modifications and adaptations ensure everyone can be part of the learning process.
    • Children with disabilities learn from typically developing peers who can act as role models, making them more likely to develop appropriate social and communication skills.

What is the opposite of inclusion and why is it important? Social isolation is a feeling or sense of not belonging. It is overwhelming and in many cases debilitating to a person’s functioning. When feeling isolated from others, loneliness and invisibility can consume a person’s thoughts and behaviors, causing a significant increase in self-harm or harm of others.

To decrease the negative impacts of social isolation, the Sandy Hook Promise has created a campaign to increase social interaction and inclusion among students. This campaign began after the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting in December of 2012. Each fall, schools around the world are asked to participate in the campaign called “Start With Hello” Week. The scheduled date for this year’s “Start With Hello” Week is September 21-25, 2020.

“Start With Hello” Week raises awareness about social isolation and educates students and the community on how to prevent it through various trainings, awareness, activities, public proclamations, media events, student contests and school awards – all provided by the Sandy Hook Promise campaign. You can find the “Start With Hello” Week planning guide along with the registration submission for your school or agency to participate in this event at https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/startwithhelloweek.

Let’s all join together in this movement to show our children that everyone should be valued, to bring awareness to social isolation, and to increase empathy and inclusion all around! Just remember, it can be as simple as starting with “hello.”

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Kindergarten Readiness

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By Ashley Underwood – July 1, 2020 –

As the mother of a child who will start kindergarten this fall, I can say the question “Is he ready?” has come to mind often over the past few months. The academic, social, and emotional demands are much more intensive in kindergarten than what has likely been previously experienced. Because of this, however, kindergarten is an amazing opportunity for learning and growth for your child.

What are some indicators that your child is ready for kindergarten? The Mayo Clinic identifies some common developmental milestones that can be observed when a child is ready for this leap:

  • Demonstrating curiosity in learning new things
  • Exploring new things through their senses
  • Taking turns and cooperating with peers
  • Speaking with and listening to peers and adults
  • Following instructions
  • Communicating how they’re feeling
  • Empathizing with other children
  • Controlling impulses
  • Paying attention
  • Limiting disruptive behaviors

While many of these skills emerge naturally between ages 4 and 5, there is not a set age limit. Some parents even choose to wait until age 6 to send their child to kindergarten.

What you can do to help prepare your child for kindergarten?

The National Association for the Education of Young Children provides these tips:

  • Teach responsibility. Start transferring small responsibilities over to your child, if you haven’t already. They can set out silverware at meals, put new liners in trash cans, or fold pillowcases. Any task that is meaningful to the household and achievable for the child will teach responsibility.
  • Develop and follow routines. Set up morning routines that will transfer into a school setting. Getting up around the same time every day, getting dressed, and having an early breakfast together is a great way to transition to school.
  • Read aloud to your child. Read a variety of books, read the captions under pictures in the newspaper, even share the comics. Just read together!
  • Engage them in meaningful literacy activities. Encourage your child to help you with thank you cards, shopping lists, or notes. At the store, you can point to each item on the list and have your child check it off when it’s put in the cart. At home, you can ask your child to sign their name on cards and give them their own special notebook and pen.
  • Help them develop independence at home. Encourage your child to dress themselves, take their coat on and off and hang it up, use the bathroom without assistance, wash their hands without constant reminders, and put on their own shoes. 
  • Acknowledge their feelings. Your child may express being nervous, not wanting to go or, alternately, feel very excited to start school. Take time to appreciate these feelings. You can find specific strategies to do this at youthfirstinc.org/selmaterials.

Chances are you’re already practicing many of these skills your child will need for kindergarten. Remember to keep it fun and don’t make it stressful for you or your child!

If your child’s school will require them to wear a mask, practice this at home and when you go out in public. You can find helpful advice at https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/coronavirus-masks.html. 

Additional information about kindergarten readiness from the Indiana Department of Education can be found at: https://www.doe.in.gov/sites/default/files/earlylearning/k-readiness.pdf

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Are You on Autopilot?

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By Ashley Underwood, LCSW – Dec. 17, 2019

Imagine this scenario: you have a busy and stressful day at work and at the end of the day you get in your car and drive home. The next thing you know, you are parked in your driveway. You made it home, but you don’t remember the process of getting there; the stops, the turns, the motions. You get so used to the usual route home that little thought or focus has to go into the process of driving.

This is an example of being on autopilot. Many of us often live in this state, where actions and words are said and done without thought or focus. When we function on autopilot, we are more likely to say or do things that can be harmful to others.

Why does this impact how we parent our children?

Children need their parents to be the best versions of themselves, thinking through their responses rather than reacting to them. When parents act on autopilot they are not present in the moment and are more likely to react to children impulsively than responding to them with thought.

Some examples of parent reactions might be yelling, cursing, screaming, slamming things, etc. These types of reactions can create an atmosphere of stress between children and parents, as children often feel attacked for things they do. Responding to children requires us to be aware of what is happening, what we are thinking and what we are feeling. That is difficult to do when we are on autopilot.

How can we decrease reacting and increase responding to our children?

One tool that can reduce living on autopilot and increase being more present in the moment is mindful awareness. When being mindfully aware of what is happening in the moment and what we are thinking and feeling in the moment, we are more likely to provide our children with responses rather than reactions.

This also helps model the type of behavior we want from our children. We want them to think through their choices and pick the best one before acting impulsively. The stress of everyday life can make it difficult to live in the moment though, which is why practicing mindful awareness daily is key for mastering this tool.

What are ways to practice mindful awareness?

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn (the founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction practice), “mindfulness or mindful awareness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”  This awareness can be practiced in a variety of daily activities including eating, showering, walking, brushing your teeth, etc.

The key to it though is rather than just going through the motions of these activities – we are paying attention to our senses (what we see, taste, feel, hear, and smell) and we are describing those things without judgments, only the facts. Mindful awareness can also be practiced through meditation, yoga, tai-chi, dance, music, and so much more.

For a more extensive list of mindfulness activities please visit https://www.rachaelkable.com/blog/50-easy-and-fun-ways-to-practice-mindfulness.

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