Tag Archive for: Ashley Underwood

Raising Confident, Independent Kids

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By Ashley Underwood, MSW, LCSW – October 22, 2025 –

Allowing your child to have independence and responsibility can be challenging. It’s difficult for some parents and guardians to acknowledge that their little ones are growing up. Just a small amount of ownership and responsibility, however, can have a big impact on your child’s development. Independence builds self-confidence, helps prepare them to complete tasks on their own in the future, and has benefits for parents as well.  

Your child’s independence will grow as they complete simple tasks. Easy tasks are best for little ones. A common example of building independence in your young child might include asking them to put their backpack and lunchbox away after they get home from school. Older children may be given the responsibility of preparing their backpack for school in the morning and hanging it up properly when they return home. While taking care of a backpack may seem like a small task, it promotes responsibility and independence.

Another way to foster independence is by allowing children to make choices. The decision can be as simple as, “Do you want to wear your Spider-Man pajamas or your Mickey Mouse pajamas to bed?” or “Would you like apples or strawberries with your sandwich?” There are countless opportunities for building independence. In the morning, let them choose their hairstyle for school or which socks they want to wear. In the evening, ask them to complete a small task such as setting the table for dinner or choosing which book they’d like to read before bed.

Making simple decisions such as this builds independence and responsibility while also developing problem-solving and decision-making skills.  

Along with completing tasks and making decisions, there are other ways you can build your child’s independence. Being consistent with a specific routine or schedule allows children to grow in this area. Consistency helps a child know what to expect each day and what will happen next. An inconsistent routine can cause confusion, create struggles, and potentially cause reactions such as a tantrum or outburst.  

Taking a step back as a parent also promotes independence in your child. Of course, parental supervision is important, and the child’s safety should always come first. It’s essential to be present while still allowing your child to explore their independence. Mistakes are inevitable, but they help both children and adults learn more about themselves, others, and the world.  

Independence should be a daily part of a child’s life. You may find that some tasks your child helps with take additional time, but they will be thrilled when they are allowed to help. Their confidence will grow with each little step they take toward independence. 

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Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

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By Ashley Underwood, MSW, LCSW, Youth First, Inc.

How does one describe a traumatic event? Traumatic is defined as “emotionally disturbing or distressing,” which can vary from person to person, so that question has many answers.

“Adverse Childhood Experience” is a term that refers to various forms of trauma individuals may experience in childhood. This includes experiencing violence, abuse or neglect, witnessing violence in the home or community, having a family member attempt or die by suicide, growing up in a household with substance use problems or mental health problems, or instability due to parental separation or incarcerated family members.

According to the CDC, about 61% of adults surveyed across 25 states reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE before age 18, and nearly 1 in 6 reported they had experienced four or more types of ACEs.

There is a direct link between ACEs and physical health. Unfortunately, for each adverse child experience, there is an increased risk of chronic health issues. Center for Youth Wellness shares that those individuals experiencing 4 or more ACEs are associated with significantly increased risk for 7 out of 10 leading adult causes of death, including heart disease, stroke, cancer, COPD, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, and suicide.

There is also significant detriment that can occur to a child’s brain when experiencing that amount of stress. Experiencing ACEs can impact attention span, memory, stress response, immune system, emotion regulation, decision making skills, and overall learning. We see many of these issues in the school setting on a daily basis, and sadly, it is related to the amount of trauma our children have experienced.

What can we do to help? Prevention is key. The CDC recommends the following six strategies for helping to prevent ACEs:

  • Strengthen economic support for families. This includes churches, community organizations, and non-profits helping with financial distress as well as employers providing adequate pay, time off, and benefits for employees.
  • Promote social norms that protect against violence and adversity. Work to create safe spaces for children and adults to talk about mental health challenges and reinforce the motto, “See something, say something” for children in regards to acts of violence, bullying, abuse, etc.
  • Ensure a strong start for children. This can include funding early education programs for families with affordable options, as well as increasing in-home learning options for parents.
  • Teach skills. Allow programs in schools that promote and teach emotional regulation, conflict resolution, social skills, and boundaries.
  • Connect youth to caring adults and activities. “Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.” -Josh Shipp

Get kids involved in mentoring programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters, encourage teachers to put them in leadership roles at school, have them join after school activities like choir, intramurals, or scouting.

  • Intervene to lessen immediate and long-term harms. Educate the public on ACEs, the risk factors, and the support available including treatment options, resource assistance, and organizations that promote these things.

Let’s do our part! For more information about the ACEs, check out https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html

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Is Your Child Ready for Kindergarten?

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Ashley Underwood, LCSW – July 13, 2021 –

As the mother of a child who will start kindergarten this fall, there’s been a nagging question in the back of my mind: “Is he ready?”

Beginning kindergarten is typically the start of formal education for most children, which can be an extreme transition from life at home or even pre-school/daycare environments.

The academic, social, and emotional demands are much more intensive for children in kindergarten than what was previously expected. Despite these new demands, kindergarten is a wonderful opportunity for children to learn new things, meet new friends, and experience growth.

So, what are some indicators that your child is showing readiness for kindergarten? According to the Mayo Clinic website, these areas are some common readiness milestones that children can show:

  • Demonstrating a curiosity or interest in learning new things
  • Being able to explore new things through their senses
  • Taking turns and cooperating with peers
  • Speaking with and listening to peers and adults
  • Following instructions
  • Communicating how they’re feeling
  • Empathizing with other children
  • Controlling impulses
  • Paying attention
  • Limiting disruptive behaviors

While many of these skills develop between ages 4 and 5, there is not a set age limit at which children obtain these skills. Some parents choose to wait until age 6 to send their child to kindergarten to allow more time for further maturity.

What are some things we can do to help prepare our children for kindergarten before they begin? The National Association for the Education of Young Children provides a list of tips for preparing your child for kindergarten.

1)      Help them develop independence at home. Encourage your child to dress himself, take his coat on and off and hang it up, use the bathroom without assistance, wash his hands without constant reminders, and put on his own shoes.

2)      Teach responsibility. Start transferring small responsibilities over to your child, if you haven’t already.

3)      Develop and follow routines. Set up morning routines that will transfer into a school setting. Getting up around the same time every day, getting dressed, and having an early breakfast together is a great way to transition to a school schedule.

4)      Read aloud to your child. Read a variety of books, read the captions under pictures in the newspaper, even share the comics. Just read together!

5)      Engage them in meaningful literacy activities. Encourage your child to help you with thank you cards, shopping lists, or notes.

6)      Acknowledge their feelings. Your child may express being nervous, not wanting to go or, alternately, feeling very excited to start school. Whatever they feel, take time to acknowledge and appreciate where they are.

It is a big deal to send your child off to school for the first time, and parents want to make sure they are doing everything to ensure their child’s success and happiness. Chances are you’re already practicing many of these skills your child will need for kindergarten. Remember to keep it fun and don’t make it stressful for you or your child!

Additional information about kindergarten readiness from the Indiana Department of Education can be found at: https://www.doe.in.gov/sites/default/files/earlylearning/k-readiness.pdf

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Ashley Underwood, LCSW, Youth First Social Worker at Loge Elementary School and Sharon Elementary School in Warrick County

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