Tag Archive for: Brooke Skipper

Holiday Stress and Your Anxious Child

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By Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW – December 17, 2025 –

It’s that time of year: no school, sweet treats, presents, and parties…You might think this is every kid’s dream! If you have a child with anxiety, however, you know this combination can be a huge trigger.

While a long school vacation might feel like a relief for many kids, the break in routine can be difficult for those with anxiety. The parties, loud noises, and bright lights can create sensory overload for anxious kids.

For children who struggle with social anxiety or who are simply more introverted, the constant activity and socializing can be very overwhelming. To minimize meltdowns, tantrums, and stress for the whole family, work on coping ahead of time by employing some simple strategies.

  1. Identify the warning signs. Talk with your child about how their body feels when they are anxious. Are they experiencing sweating, a racing heart, or butterflies in their stomach? Pay attention to your child’s behavior during anxious times. Some warning signs may be:

    a. Excessive tears or clinging to parents
    b. Isolating
    c. Psychosomatic complaints (headaches, stomach aches, random pains that cannot be explained)
    • Create coping strategies. Once you and your child understand the warning signs, know what to do to decrease anxiety before it spirals. The more a child practices these coping skills, the better they will become. Make sure your child’s favorite coping tools go with you to events and outings. Some easy skills to try are:

      • Journaling
      • Music
      • Art expression
      • Exercise
      • Deep breathing
      • Fidgets or stress balls
    • Set expectations. Let your child know the schedule for the day. Describe the events you will be attending, who will be there, and what your child may enjoy while there. This helps your child feel more in control and less anxious.
    • Make time to reconnect. With the holidays full of busy schedules and lots of family and friends, it can be hard to have meaningful one-on-one time with your child. An anxious kid craves that slow-paced rest and relaxation time spent with you as their safety net. Find time to recharge with your child each day, talk through how they are feeling, and identify any needs they have.

    Children thrive on routine. Finding ways to maintain some form of normalcy during this chaotic time can be extremely beneficial for an anxious child. Try to ensure your child gets plenty of restful sleep and eats nutritious meals, even if bedtimes and mealtimes shift to accommodate events.

    Remember, you are your child’s best advocate. If there is an event that just does not work for your family, it is ok to maintain boundaries and not attend.

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    The Importance of Labeling Emotions

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    By Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW- September 8, 2025 –

    One of the hardest things for a parent is to see their child struggle and not have the power to “fix” it. We all want happy, healthy children. In order to achieve that, however, we must allow kids to experience and understand a whole range of emotions.

    When children learn that all emotions are acceptable and a normal part of human life, they can begin to cope with those emotions in healthy and positive ways. This helps them build empathy, resilience, and more positive self-esteem. When we talk openly with children about their emotions, we also teach them that we are a supportive, safe space, regardless of what they are experiencing.

    Here are some simple ways to support your child’s emotion identification skills:

    1. Talk about emotions daily. Make it a habit to check in with your child about how they are feeling, and then really listen to what they have to say. Don’t rush to resolve or soothe their feelings. Be a safe support before you offer to help with solutions.
    2. Recognize your child’s emotions and respond with compassion. Again, it is easy to offer reassurance, but this may come off as dismissive to your child. If they tell you they are scared and you respond with, “There’s nothing to be scared of,” you are not hearing them as they express their emotions. One of the easiest ways to respond with compassion is by repeating your child’s emotion back to them. “I can see you are feeling sad. Do you want to talk about it?”
    3. Model, model, model. The best thing we can do as parents is to demonstrate healthy ways to respond to emotions. Kids learn by observing the world around them. When we continually show our children that hard emotions can be handled in positive ways, they will follow suit.
    4. Help your child develop a range of tools to use when coping with difficult emotions. There is no “one-size-fits-all” solution for emotional regulation. If deep breaths work for one person, they may not work for the next. Some skills can be used at home but not in a classroom. Brainstorm several different strategies for your child to have available.
    5. Ask your child to identify emotions in others, as well. As your child learns to recognize their own feelings, help them recognize feelings in those around them. What does a sad, happy, scared face look like? How can you tell your friend is angry? This helps build empathy and an understanding of how to support the emotions of others in a healthy way.
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    How to Help Your Perfectionist Child

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    By Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW, Youth First, Inc.

    If you have a perfectionist child, you most likely already know it. You’ve witnessed the crying episodes, self-doubt, and meltdowns. Perfectionist children set unrealistic goals and then place enormous pressure on themselves to reach those goals.

    While it’s good for kids to hold high expectations of themselves, those seeking perfection will never be satisfied with their performance. To a perfectionist child, a 99% on a test is often a failure.

    Additional warning signs of a child with perfectionist tendencies can include high anxiety surrounding failure, trouble making decisions or procrastinating to avoid tasks, or difficulty completing tasks because the work is “never good enough.” You may also notice that your child is overly self-critical, self-conscious, and easily embarrassed.

    Perfectionist children seek our reassurance constantly, but this is only a band-aid. It does not necessarily change their all-or-nothing thinking. When we meet our child’s feelings of anxiety, frustration, and failure by saying “You’re okay,” or “It will be fine,” it creates a disconnect between their emotions and our response.

    Perfectionist children genuinely do not feel they are okay or that it will be fine. A more helpful response is to meet our child where they are and connect with the emotion they are presenting. You can do this by helping them label the emotion they are feeling. Say something like, “I can see you are feeling anxious about making a mistake.”

    Other steps we can use to help change our child’s perfectionist thinking include the following:

    Make a point to monitor our own expectations for our child. Are we fueling their perfectionist tendencies by setting unrealistic goals?

    1. Praise the effort instead of the outcome. When we focus on the process rather than the result, we help our children build grit and perseverance. This can look as simple as saying, “I love seeing you practicing your math problems,” instead of, “Great job getting an A on your math test!”
    2. Universalize making mistakes and model healthy ways to handle them. Is your own inner voice too critical? Acknowledging our own mistakes to our children goes a long way in helping them feel less pressure to be perfect.
    3. Teach healthy coping skills. Although failure is uncomfortable, it’s not intolerable. Teach your child how to deal with disappointment, rejection, and mistakes in a healthy way. Talking to a friend, writing in a journal, or drawing a picture are just a few coping skills that could help them deal with their feelings.
    4. Whether your child is melting down on the athletic field after a missed play or spending hours critiquing their image, the all-or-nothing thinking of perfectionism can be damaging to their quality of life.

    Perfectionists may be at a higher risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Paying attention to your child’s behavior and supporting them through their perfectionist thinking is a helpful way to ensure a strong and healthy future.

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    Important Tips for Raising Inclusive Children

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    By Brooke Skipper, LCSW – June 15, 2022 –

    Most of us are familiar with the unpleasant feeling of being excluded. In order to raise children who celebrate diversity and include others, we need to be comfortable starting conversations about differences.

    These conversations don’t have to be scary! Children are innately open-minded and seek honest answers out of curiosity. They don’t feel discomfort about differences unless we portray a discomfort to them.

    If your child points out differences or questions you about them, take time to pause and have a positive conversation that explains diversity and the value of all people.

    Our individual gifts and challenges come in many different forms. We need to demonstrate this is not only okay, but something to celebrate. By doing so, we can model self-acceptance and peer acceptance.

    Here are some tips for teaching your child to be more inclusive.

    1. Confront your own biases and be comfortable challenging them. Conscious or unconscious, we all have biases. These can come from our parents, our upbringings, and our experiences in the world. Acknowledging they exist and working to overcome them is a crucial step to ensuring we do not pass down negative biases to our children.
    1. Model inclusive behavior. Children are always watching, listening, and learning. Make sure the behavior you are projecting is the behavior you desire your children to emulate at home, school, and in the community. Celebrate diversity, use respectful language, and treat everyone with kindness and respect. Remember the golden rule to love your neighbor as yourself. If you live your life by this rule, your child will as well.
    1. Teach your child to be full of empathy and positive self-esteem. A child who feels good about who they are is more likely to be inclusive of others. Children who empathize and understand how others are feeling will be more likely to stand up for what is right.
    1. Talk about bullying. Once your child understands what empathy is and how to display it, make sure they know how to proactively stand up for others and report bullying behaviors to an adult in charge. Encourage them to befriend students who sit alone.
    1. Expose your child to diverse people and experiences. We often belong to social circles and communities of people who look like us, believe in similar things, have similar jobs and incomes, etc. Providing opportunities for your child to encounter diversity can help normalize differences and teach children there is no “one way” to be. You can do this by visiting museums, attending multi-cultural events, and reading stories that celebrate diverse characters.


    Most importantly, do not shy away from the topic of differences. Be prepared to openly discuss the topic with your child in an honest, age-appropriate way.

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    Social Workers = Superheroes! Brooke Skipper, LCSW, Youth First Social Worker at Evansville Bosse High School

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    My Kid Would Never Do That, and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

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    By Brooke Skipper, LCSW – February 3, 2021 –

    We know our children mess up. They make bad choices, say unkind things, forget to do chores. We know they are not perfect.

    However, when we hear about new trends in adolescent behavior, we foolishly think to ourselves, “Well, thankfully my kid would never do THAT.”

    Adolescence is a time of exploration. Our children are trying to discover who they are, what group they belong to, what they like and don’t like. As they explore they are inundated with messages from their peers and social media about so many different types of experiences, many of them risky.

    The areas of the brain that handle planning and impulse control don’t completely mature until about age 25. So while adults may see a behavior that is unsafe and say “no thanks”, teens cannot always recognize the risk.

    Without that impulse control, teenagers are more likely to make quick decisions without thinking through the consequences. This is especially true when they see the behavior as something “everyone else is doing.”

    How can we become more observant parents and keep our heads out of the sand? Staying connected with your child, knowing what they are involved in and who they are involved with, and keeping yourself up-to-date about new adolescent behavior trends will help you recognize signs that your child may be engaging in unsafe activities.

    1. Talk openly, talk often, and start now. Start having conversations with your child about topics like sex, substances, and personal safety at a young age. Your child will be more likely to know you are open to hearing what they have to say. Be careful that your words don’t come across as a lecture. Instead, use open ended questions to allow your child to talk freely. Remind your child it is safe for them to come to you about any topic.
    2. Have clear family values. What is important to you as a family? Does your child know what these values are? Make sure you are modeling family values and not just preaching them. Don’t drink and drive, practice a positive online presence, and treat others with kindness.
    3. Have clear rules and consequences. If you wait for a situation to arise to put rules and consequences in place, you are waiting too long. Clearly define rules and consequences for breaking them.  Take time to redefine these with your child as she matures and is ready for more responsibility.
    4. Monitor your child’s social interactions. This applies to interactions both in person and online. Know who your child is spending physical time with and who the parents are. Take time to monitor your child’s social media and texting interactions, as this is where some of the most risky behaviors can take place. There are so many apps available to help in both of these areas.
    5. Be a safety net when it comes to peer pressure. If your child feels peer pressure to do risky things or is placed in a risky situation, you could help him think of ways to opt out. Develop a code word your child can text you that lets you know he needs to be picked up immediately. Let her blame you for not being able to go somewhere she does not feel comfortable. Help her come up with creative ways to respond when pressured. “My mom drug tests me” can always work!
    6. Be a constant presence through the years. We are sometimes fooled into thinking our teenagers no longer need us, a message that can be reinforced by their behavior. However, teens often need us even more as they navigate the world and are faced with difficult choices. Continue to check in, stay involved, and stay available.

    Following these tips can help you be more aware of your child’s behavior and increase your success as a parent. Turning a blind eye or refusing to reevaluate our parenting techniques doesn’t do any good. Remember, most parents probably thought their child would never eat a TIDE Pod.

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