Tag Archive for: Diane Braun

Teaching Young Children to Follow Directions

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By Diane Braun, Project Manager – August 12, 2021 –

Many parents struggle with getting their young child’s attention and teaching them to follow simple directions such as picking up toys, throwing away a napkin, or going to bed. What’s the secret to getting them to listen?

It starts with making the direction as simple as possible. There might be a long list of things to do before bedtime, but most children aged three to five have trouble devoting attention to more than one task at a time.

Saying something like, “Please pick up your toys, brush your teeth, and get your pajamas on,” will probably result in no action by the child at all. These are called “chain directions,” which are usually more appropriate for older children. Breaking the chain down to one link or task at a time will result in better understanding.

Vague directions can also be a problem. Saying “Behave yourself!” or “Be careful!” are not specific directions. Instead, explain how you expect your child to behave. Telling them directly what you expect helps them understand your expectations. Phrases like, “I expect you to sit quietly while we watch the movie” are much more effective.

Notice that directions should not be presented as a question. “Would you like to pick up your toys now?” is a question that most children would say no to. “It’s time to pick up your toys” is a direct statement of expectation. Keeping the direction short and to the point makes the task seem more doable to a child.

Tone of voice is also important when giving directions. Many parents have “THAT VOICE” they use when they want to get a child’s attention. Most children recognize when they are being told to do something with no room for negotiation.

When a small child begins learning to follow directions, you may have to say it a few times before they comply. Once they start listening and following through, remember to recognize that they’ve listened and done what was asked.

Rewards for good behavior don’t have to cost money—a high five, happy dance, or an extra ten minutes of television before bedtime are all exciting for small children. Use these incentives to encourage positive behavior in the future.

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Rewarding Positive Behaviors

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By Diane Braun, Project Manager – March 10, 2021 –

Most children crave attention, not only from their peers, but also from the adults in their lives. They will search for ways to be in the spotlight, whether positive or negative, in order to get a reaction from those around them.

Parents should always strive to focus on the positive behaviors they see in their children and reward those behaviors.

How to reward them is often a matter of debate. Should it involve an allowance, a shopping spree, or another costly activity? Not necessarily. For most small children, simple and free gestures are exactly the kind of attention that will make them feel acknowledged and loved.

Personal rewards can involve hugs, winks, high fives, praise, and applause. Rewards involving fun activities could include a ride in a wagon, spending time popping balloons or paper bags, piggy-back rides, blowing bubbles together, or playing dress up in funny clothes.

Making an effort to spend quality time with children can make them feel special and acknowledged as well. Simple bonding experiences can include pushing a child in a swing, delaying bedtime by an extra 15 minutes, reading a book aloud, or allowing your child to help you make a meal or hold the TV remote. These action-based rewards involving time spent together can help cultivate positive feelings of belonging.  

Rewards that involve a small cost and can easily be purchased at a dollar store can be hair clips and ribbons, stickers, coloring books, marbles, comics, paints and brushes, chalk, markers and crayons, or balloons. Rewards like these are easy to keep hidden around the house so you can present a reward to your child when they exhibit positive behavior. 

The most important thing to remember is that good behavior should be reinforced right away. Make eye contact and tell the child exactly what you liked. “You did a great job putting the dishes away!” Be enthusiastic and genuine.

If working towards a behavior goal, be sure to acknowledge each step as it is accomplished. When the end goal is reached, that is the time for a more anticipated reward like 15 more minutes of screen time. 

Use of behavior charts is also a good way to show progress toward a goal. Incorporating a particularly enticing reward into the last step on the chart is a sure way to motivate your child to complete the chart. Anticipate inevitable setbacks and encourage your child to keep working towards their goal when they are feeling discouraged.

Once a behavior becomes a habit, rewards can be decreased and new goals can be set.  Parents can be more aware of their children’s attitudes and behaviors by asking them what rewards they’d look forward to and using them to encourage new positive behaviors. Learning to be conscious of when and why you give rewards is a wonderful and productive way to show your children the love and affection they deserve.

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The 7 Habits and Coronavirus – Think Win-Win

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By Diane Braun – July 7, 2020 –

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which has sold over 30 million copies in over 40 languages, is one of the most significant business books of all time.  Dr. Stephen Covey’s lifelong mission was to “unleash the human potential.”  The 7 Habits are the accumulated wisdom he blended into a comprehensive framework that allows one to be effective in their work and personal life.

The 7 habits have the ability to not only introduce skills like goal setting, organization, time management, team work, conflict management, collaboration and communication, but those already familiar with the habits can also strengthen these skills.

There are steps to help create habits that help you personally, and there are other steps that help you deal with and understand others. Ultimately the hope is that the participant will experience renewal – knowing that to be your best you need to feel your best mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.   

The 7 habits were developed to help people deal with issues that can hamper their productivity, creativity and personal health.  But can they also apply to dealing with the coronavirus? Let’s examine the 4th habit—THINK WIN-WIN.

Before we can truly have a win-win attitude, we need to have mastered the first three habits, known collectively as the “Private Victory.”  If we’re insecure and feel threatened by other people’s success, it will be hard for us to ever feel happiness for someone else or share recognition and praise.

We need to remember two things. First, competition can be healthy. It drives us to improve, to reach and stretch. Without it we might never know how far we can push ourselves. Competition becomes dark when you tie your self-worth to winning or use it to place yourself above others. Second, comparing ourselves to others is always a bad idea. We’re all on different levels—socially, emotionally, physically. 

The benefit of thinking win-win is that it creates a foundation for getting along with others. It begins with the belief that we are all equal, that no one is inferior or superior to anyone else.  Most of us can remember being in a win-lose situation where someone else got the glory and although we did our best, we didn’t get recognized for it with an award or praise. There may be a time where we know we can’t handle a situation and have a lose-lose attitude, which means that if I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.  Or knowing that we never seem to be the best at something, we may feel we’re definitely the loser so we allow others to go ahead and walk all over us.

You can feel the shift in thinking when ALL OF US can win in any situation.  Given the world’s current concerns, how can we have a win-win attitude?  If I just stocked up on toilet paper and my sister needs several rolls for her family, do I say no? Should I perhaps arrange a trade? How can I share and feel like I didn’t lose in this? How can I take care of myself and my family and still make sure others have that same security? 

A quote by author George Elliot sums up habit 4: “What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?”

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Know the Facts: National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week is Jan. 22-27

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By Diane Braun, Jan. 22, 2019 –

When asked which of these is a symptom of alcohol overdose, which would you choose?

  1. Irregular breathing   B.) Confusion    C.) Vomiting   D.) All of these.

The answer is D, all of these.

January 22-27 is National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week (NDAFW).  The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has been sponsoring National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week since 2010 to educate youth and shatter the myths about substance use and addiction. 

NDAFW happens every year in January and is a week-long series of educational events that link teens with scientific experts.  Since its inception, NDAFW has continued to grow, with more than 2100 events held throughout 50 states and 35 countries last year. Activities focus on general drug use or on specific trends of concern in individual communities.

NIDA has produced a wide variety of resources for organizers of events and promotional activities, including resources for parents and educators. Classroom activities specific to the week and other year-round lessons on drugs and alcohol, including lesson plans, are available on the NDAFW website. 

Free booklets with science-based facts about drugs and alcohol are available and include NIDA’s most in-demand teen publications. New this year is the “Opioids: Facts for Teens” booklet.

An on-line chat with National Institute of Health scientists and science writers is available on Thursday, January 24 from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm EST.  Teens in schools around the country can submit substance use questions in an anonymous forum.  Registration is available on the NDAFW website. In previous years, more than 50 schools participated with more than 10,000 questions submitted.

Youth can be curious about substances they see and hear about on social media. Misperceptions can happen when they only follow certain views.  Making sure your child’s questions are answered is vital to keeping them safe. 

The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids recommends:

  • Always keep conversations open and honest.
  • Come from a place of love, even when you’re having tough conversations.
  • Balance positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement.
  • Keep in mind that teachable moments come up all of the time — be mindful of natural places for the conversation to go in order to broach the topic of drugs and alcohol.

Take this opportunity to educate yourself and your child about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Begin a dialogue so they will feel free to come to you with any future questions or concerns.

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A Mother’s Wisdom

By Diane Braun, May 8, 2018 –

When asked to name the one person who was their strongest supporter, loved them unconditionally and influenced them the most, the majority of people would name their mother.

The maternal bond is strong, and for those of us who grew up with a woman who was tough on us for no other reason than to make US tough enough to handle life’s experiences, we realize (perhaps too late) that all past Mother’s Days should have been spent expressing love and gratitude with words rather than gifts.

According to a Fundivo survey in 2016, eight out of ten Americans planned to celebrate Mother’s Day, spending over $21 billion dollars on the holiday. I can remember drawing pictures, making cards, buying flowers and candy for my mom over the years.

My mom was always appreciative and returned the favor when I became a mom. She was a first generation American, born to Polish and Ukrainian immigrants who came to this country in the early 1900s. Her perspective on parenting came from her own parents:  raise healthy children who become productive adults.

She told me many times that her parents considered themselves successful because all eight of their children survived childhood and became adults who got married, had children and supported themselves. She did not have a relationship with her mother that involved shopping, going to movies or out to eat.  She simply knew that her mother loved her because she took good care of her.

Low attachment to caregivers, as in the mother-child bond, plays an important role in later behavior and delinquency problems. The closer a child is to their mother, the less likely the child will be at risk for delinquency.

Research has shown that a strong adult in a child’s life can make a difference in not only their attitude about themselves and the world around them, but also in their decision to make healthy choices about drugs and alcohol.

Mom wisdom, aka “Mom-isms,” is a term I recently learned that not only made me smile but made me realize that everyone needs someone in their life giving this advice.  Examples of “Mom-isms:”  “When you have your own house, then you can make the rules.” and “So what if Sally’s mom let her do it. If Sally’s mom let her jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it?” and “I’m doing this for your own good.”

Who in your life challenges you to be your best with love and understanding?  Is there someone who is looking out for you, making sure you get honest advice to keep you safe? Have you realized as an adult that this advice needs to be passed on to your own children?

My wish this Mother’s Day is that all mothers know how important they are and continue to dish out the wisdom that comes with love and devotion to their children.

 

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Discuss the Dangers of Underage Drinking at Prom and Graduation

By Diane Braun, April 17, 2018 –

Prom and graduation are two of the most exciting events in a teen’s high school experience.  It’s a time to celebrate the end of the school year and remember for the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately too often prom and graduation night end tragically for teens that die from drinking and driving or alcohol poisoning.  According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, one in three deaths from alcohol-related incidents occurs during prom or graduation weekend.

Drug-Free Action Alliance has developed a public awareness campaign to provide parents with accurate information about the health risks of underage drinking and the legal consequences of providing alcohol to youth.  The campaign encourages parents and the community to send a unified message that teen alcohol consumption is not acceptable at prom and graduation time.  It is illegal, unsafe and unhealthy for anyone under age 21 to drink alcohol.

Here are the facts:

  • Parents who give alcohol to their teen’s friends under any circumstances, even in their own homes, are breaking the law.
  • Parents who knowingly allow a person under 21 to remain in their home or on their property while consuming or possessing alcohol can be prosecuted and everything associated with such a violation can be confiscated, including personal property.
  • Parents can be sued if they give alcohol to anyone under 21 and they, in turn, hurt someone, hurt themselves or damage property.

Parents play a major role in their children’s choices about alcohol and other drugs.  Underage use of alcohol is a serious problem that too often leads to harmful consequences for youth and their families.

Parents can help their teens and their friends remain safe by taking responsibility, getting involved and setting limits.  Always be clear about your expectations.

You may have talked many times about healthy choices, but it’s important to be very clear about no alcohol use before the age of 21.  Parents should discuss the dangers of a) drinking and driving and b) getting into a car with a drunk driver.

Present possible scenarios and what to do in these situations.  Set a curfew that you can be awake for.  Make sure teens are home at the agreed-upon time and you see them walk in the door.  Use that time to hear details of their evening.

If hosting a party, do not serve or allow alcohol.  An adult who provides alcohol to a minor is breaking the law and risking that teen’s life.  Indiana passed a social host liability law in 2014 which prohibits anyone from “furnishing property for the purpose of enabling minors to consume alcohol.”

Parents and teens are encouraged to make the decision before spring events to be safe, which means staying alcohol-free.  Make sure your teen understands your expectations and the consequences.  Healthy choices and good communication can create those happy memories that last a lifetime.

 

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Binge-Watching and Your Brain

By Diane Braun, Courier & Press, March 13, 2018 –

We all know that sitting for long periods of time isn’t good for your body, but what does sitting in front of the television do to your brain?

A recent conversation with a colleague made me curious about this phenomenon called “binge-watching.”

Binge-watching is defined as watching between two and six episodes of the same TV show in one sitting. A recent Netflix survey found that 61 percent of about 1500 on-line respondents say they binge-watch regularly.

Why do we do it?  According to Robert F. Potter, PhD., director of the Institute for Communication Research at Indiana University, we do it for a few reasons:

  • Production companies encourage us by offering up the next episode as soon as the previous one ends.
  • Writers structure dramas with cliffhangers at the end of every episode.
  • We want to keep watching. Television captures our attention in more ways than one. Plots, subplots and dialogue require us to pay close attention to scene changes.  Our brain is hard-wired to monitor changes in our environment as a survival mechanism, so it’s hard for us to tear our eyes away.  As long as something’s moving onscreen, we’re watching.

Sitting still for long periods of time slows one’s circulation and metabolism, resulting in sluggishness.  At the same time, great TV shows with complicated storylines and complex characters can wear you out emotionally and mentally. Excessive TV watching has long been associated with health problems such as obesity and diabetes as well as mental health problems like depression.

Cliffhangers, on the other hand, leave us with a heightened sense of excitement.  If something positive happens afterward, the excitement may carry over into your real life and make it more intense.

Your emotional state at the end of a show is also affected by how you felt when you started it up.  Research shows that people who tried to forget about their anxieties by watching television had a 4 percent increased risk of developing insomnia.

This is similar to any addictive behavior, Potter says.  If you use something to help you escape from problems you almost always feel worse later.  Research shows that the longer you stay in the world of a TV show, the more it influences the way you see the real world.  A better strategy is to use TV as a reward for confronting and dealing with an issue.

Want to break the binge addiction? If you are addicted to hour-long dramas, watch one episode and then just 20 minutes of the next episode.  That will likely resolve the previous episode’s cliffhanger but won’t draw you in for the entire hour.

The world of Netflix and other streaming services is still relatively new.  More research is needed to understand the true effects of binge-watching on physical and mental health.  As this behavior continues to be a part of our culture, just remember to exercise some caution once one episode concludes and resist the urge to click that “next” button.

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Believe It or Not, Birth Order Does Matter

By Diane Braun, Courier & Press, January 24, 2017 –

My husband and I have three children who are now all adults: two sons born 2 ½ years apart and a daughter born three years later.

As our children were growing up, I noticed our sons were very different even though they have the same parents and grew up in the same house.

It was fascinating to me that our oldest son was always the thinker — looking at every situation from all angles before making a decision or answering a question.  My mother said he was “born old,” demonstrating more patience and maturity than others his age.

My second son has always been impulsive and never hesitated to try a new sport or activity.  He was described by his older brother as the true example of the Nike logo “Just Do It.”  A gifted athlete, he could step into any sport and do well. We had our share of trips to the emergency room, however, when his impulses outweighed caution.

According to Meri Wallace, author of Birth Order Blues, “Some of it has to do with the way the parent relates to the child in his spot, and some of it actually happens because of the spot itself.  Each spot has unique challenges,” she explains.

Simply by virtue of being a couple’s first child, a firstborn will naturally be a sort of experiment for the new parents.  Going “by the book,” new parents will be extremely attentive to the firstborn, strict with rules and overly cautious about the little things.  This in turn may cause the child to become a perfectionist, always striving to please the parents.

Firstborns tend to be reliable, conscientious, structured, cautious, controlling and achievers.  Firstborns are diligent and want to be the best at everything they do.

In contrast, if the couple has a second child, they might raise the second born with less stringency due to their experiences with the firstborn.  They might also be less attentive to the second since there’s another child competing for attention, and they probably will be less inclined to call the doctor’s office for every little scratch and bruise.

In our family, my youngest son was also the middle child.  Middle children tend to be people-pleasers and peacemakers, thriving on friendships and having a large social circle.  Their daring nature is often a ploy for getting attention and can be described as rebelliousness.

Even more important than birth order is creating an environment that is positive, safe, healthy and stimulating.  Though peers, siblings, genes and circumstances all play into how a child’s temperament develops, Wallace states that “parents still are the major influencing factors because, truthfully, the first year of life is the bonding with the primary caretaker that impacts upon self-confidence, trust and the ability to interact with another person.”

Birth order, along with other factors, does play a role in the traits of each child. Focus on each child’s personality and adapt your expectations to their individuality to produce confident, productive people.

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Kids Benefit From Playing Outside

Kids playing outside

By Diane Braun, Courier & Press, May 3, 2016 –

Spring and summer brings blue skies, warm breezes and the sound of children playing outdoors. Most parents have no problem sending their children outside to play.

Why? Because we all know there are quite a few real benefits to playing outdoors.

Children who play outside learn how to solve real-life problems better than children who are always in their rooms playing video games in seclusion. Examples of problem solving include learning to get along with friends or trying to figure out the best way to build a fort.

Playing outside provides children with exercise, something many children don’t get enough of anymore. Outdoor play combines exercise with having fun. Riding bikes, playing tag with friends and throwing or hitting a ball all get our children’s bodies moving, something playing most video games can’t accomplish.

It may be hard to accept that children could experience stress or suffer from conditions such as depression or anxiety, but these issues are becoming more common with today’s kids who have busy schedules with long school days and extracurricular activities.

Physical activity in the form of outdoor play can help kids reduce their stress. The Children & Nature Network says contact with nature can help reduce stress levels and positively impact conditions such as anxiety or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

One of the qualities many children are lacking is imagination. In today’s age of technology, children are provided with images for everything.

Why go outside and play astronaut in outer space when we can watch a movie about it or play a video game? Playing outside helps children develop their imagination, which is something television, video games and computers can’t do.

Free play and discretionary time has declined more than nine hours a week over the last 25 years. A new Nielson Company report indicates children 2-5 now spend more than 32 hours a week on average in front of a TV screen.

According to the Keiser Family Foundation, the amount of screen time only increases with age with school-aged children spending 7.5 hours a day on electronic media.

Finally, it’s important that children get vitamin D, and the best source is the sun. Vitamin D helps promote better moods, energy levels, memory and overall health. Just 10-15 minutes out in the sun will give our children their daily dose of vitamin D.

Encouraging children to go outside, get moving and connect with the natural world are all ways to reverse childhood obesity rates. But the benefits don’t stop there. Kids who play outside are happier, healthier and stronger!

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