Tag Archive for: Social Worker Articles

Got Grit?

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By Leah Doughty, LMHCA – April 30, 2024

The term “grit,” coined by psychologist Angela Duckworth, is characterized by a combination of resilience, determination, and persistence, even in the face of setbacks and obstacles.

In the face of all of life’s challenges, helping your child develop grit is more important than ever. However, it is not necessarily comfortable for parents. It can be easier to “fix” than to teach.

Parents may find it uncomfortable to let their child experience failure and disappointment, so they resort to rescuing, an aspect of helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting refers to a “hover” style of parenting that is highly protective. While helicopter parents typically have good intentions and may believe they are acting in their children’s best interests, research suggests that this style of parenting can have negative consequences. Children of helicopter parents are more likely to struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, and a lack of resilience; in other words, they lack grit.

The following are some ways to help your child develop grit:

  1. Instead of jumping in to rescue your child, let them experience setbacks and failures while showing them support and encouragement. Tell them you believe in them and ask them what they learned from the experience. Encourage your kids to try again, be persistent, and not give up.
  2. Help your child set goals, take risks, and celebrate small victories and milestones along the way to larger goals.
  3. Demonstrate your trust in them by giving them space to problem-solve and overcome obstacles on their own.
  4. Talk with them about your own experiences of overcoming challenges through hard work and determination.
  5. Encourage your child to stick with activities when they become challenging or frustrating.
  1. And finally, model resilience and grit in your own life.

We can’t protect our kids from all of life’s hardships. Parental qualities that foster grit can be challenging but come with great rewards for our kids in the long run.

By fostering a growth-oriented mindset, you can help your child develop grit, setting them up for success in school, relationships, and life.

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The Power of Self-Care

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By Paige Byrd, MSW, LSW – April 18, 2024

Self-care is a vital part of our everyday lives. It promotes healthy living, reduces stress, increases relaxation, and improves our overall well-being. Self-care can help your mental and physical health by boosting your mood and increasing your activity rate.

The fun part about self-care is that you can incorporate it at any time of the day. Just five minutes of self-care can boost your mood and increase your dopamine levels! According to the National Institute of Mental Health, self-care means creating time to do things to help improve your life and increase your well-being. Your mental health is important, so taking the extra step to improve it can have a huge impact on your daily living.

Self-care helps you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Some great self-care tips include incorporating at least 30 minutes of exercise into your daily routine, eating healthy meals, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, setting goals and priorities, and staying positive!

There are numerous ways to add self-care activities to your day. Some ideas include meditation, reading, painting, dancing, listening to relaxing music, taking a bath, going on a walk, watching your favorite show, and getting enough sleep. The list is endless. Creating a routine to incorporate self-care can reduce the percentage rate of burnout.

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, burnout is defined as “physical, emotional or mental exhaustion, accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance and negative attitudes towards oneself and others.” Burnout occurs when a person overworks or becomes overly stressed in their daily lives.

When you are constantly on the go with a million different tasks and activities, it is important to take some time for yourself, to do something for you that allows you to breathe. I like to take fifteen minutes in the morning, as soon as I wake up, to do a quick meditation. This helps me start my day off in a positive mindset. I also incorporate breathing activities in between client sessions to ground myself throughout the day.

Self-care is also a great tool to share with others. It allows more people to be aware of its benefits. Remember, self-care is for everyone! It leads to a happier and healthier way of living. 

Take a moment to pause and reflect on three activities you enjoy doing. Now find a time in your day, even five minutes, maybe an hour, where you can pause for a moment and put yourself first. Got that? Now do it! Start small. Building a routine or adding in something that is unusual may seem challenging at first, but once you start, it will get easier! The more you practice, the easier it gets, so start now! Do yourself a favor, start incorporating self-care into your daily lives. You will be glad you did!

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Setting Boundaries is Important

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By Hannah Smith-Quirey, MSW, LCSW – April 10, 2024 –

Boundaries. They are a necessary part of any relationship. Boundaries enhance our well-being in so many ways. So why do we have so many feelings around setting healthy and effective boundaries? And how do you go about setting the boundaries you need or want in your life?

There are so many benefits to putting boundaries in place. It clearly communicates to others what we need and want. Setting boundaries decreases our stress level and prevents us from experiencing burnout. Boundaries enhance our relationships, both personally and professionally. They are important for self-care and improve our emotional health.

There are many reasons people don’t set boundaries. Society sends a message that politeness is important and that somehow creating boundaries is rude. People don’t want to disappoint others or not have their acceptance. Many are scared to set boundaries and may feel like they don’t have the right or don’t deserve to protect themselves.

The idea of creating and identifying what boundaries you want to set may feel overwhelming at times. First, you must determine what your values are and what matters to you. You need to be able to identify what your limitations are. You must begin to understand that the word “no” is a complete sentence. Boundaries should be stated assertively and directly. You also think about and practice how you would respond to boundary violations.

What is the difference between setting healthy boundaries versus being controlling? Setting healthy boundaries involves our own behavior, choices, and actions, while being controlling seeks to change the behavior, choices, or actions of others.

It is important to realize that your voice, needs, and wants matter. Boundaries are unique and specific to each person. It is also important to remember that boundaries are flexible. We can adjust and change them as we go.

A big part of setting healthy boundaries involves making sure you are consistent when you respond to violations of your boundaries. Remember, other people do not have to like or agree with your boundaries. Eventually, you will start to feel less guilty or not feel guilty at all when setting a boundary. You will stop letting others take advantage of you and find that you are not feeling responsible for other people. Setting healthy boundaries also includes not feeling offended by the boundaries that others choose to set.

Boundaries are necessary for your well-being. You will have to know who you are and what you value in order to set effective boundaries. Even though you may have difficulty or struggle to set them, you should still work to make sure you put them in place. We all have different needs and wants, and that is okay. 

Make sure you are indeed setting boundaries and not trying to control others around you. Boundaries aren’t easy but will, in the end, benefit you and those around you.

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Indiana’s Youth Mental Health Crisis

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By Cameron Williams, Youth First, Inc. – April 4, 2024

Indiana has a youth mental health crisis. To set the stage, let’s address a few facts.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the most current Youth Risk Behavior Survey data (1991-2021) has found that 46.9 percent of Indiana high school students have “felt sad or hopeless almost every day for 2 or more weeks in a row.” The same survey found that over 22 percent of Indiana’s high school students seriously considered suicide, with 17 percent of them making a plan and 10.2 percent of Indiana high school students actually attempting suicide.

As indicated by the data, our youth are having a mental health crisis that has worsened every year since the Covid-19 pandemic. An American Federation of Teachers survey conducted in 2020 found that 95 percent of educators agreed that “social and emotional support for students has never been more important than it is now.”

Unfortunately, in 2022 the Indiana Youth Institute reported that the state of Indiana has the worst counselor to student ratio in the United States, at 628 students per one counselor. The ratios for other mental health professionals are significantly worse, with only one psychologist for every 2,698 students and only one social worker for every 2,788 students.

I’m not presenting these statistics to create fear or make the situation seem hopeless. Rather, I hope to clarify just how serious the state of Indiana’s youth mental health crisis truly is, with the hope that it will inspire some change. Thankfully, there are actions that can improve the current situation.

Parents and community members can ask their local schools how many counselors, social workers, or psychologists are available for students to see. They can advocate for mental health training and/or specifically trauma-informed-care training for the teachers and school staff. Parents and community members can also present the statistics found in this article to their local school board, politicians, and governing bodies. If these statistics are presented with information about what services and mental health professionals are available at the school system in their community, a compelling case can be made to improve or increase the services available to the students and youth of that community.

Youth First, Inc. has done an outstanding job of providing services and improving the lives of students at Indiana schools, but there are still many areas in the state of Indiana that currently do not have access to social workers or other mental health professionals in schools. Sharing the relevant data and information that accurately portrays the state’s youth mental health crisis and advocating for change can make a difference for Indiana’s youth. If change is enacted now to save our youth, Indiana can foundationally alter its future course and build the road to a better, brighter future.

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Teaching Body Positivity

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By Ellen Dippel, MSW, LSW – March 27, 2024

Body positivity is having its moment, and I think we should all be excited about that. Through the decades we’ve seen fashion change, and along with that so do beauty standards. It seems as though the bar is always moving and always out of reach.

In the world kids live in today, they are surrounded by images of what “beauty” is and constantly being told what they can do to achieve that standard. But as more people come forward and embrace their bodies with all of their beautiful imperfections, how can we capitalize on this to help grow body-positive children?

To start, we need to understand the harm caused by commenting on a person’s body, even our own body in front of our kids. Even when we think they are not listening, they are, and those little sponge-like brains internalize whatever message we’re putting out into the world. When we are constantly putting ourselves down in front of our kids, they hear that. In addition, making comments on a child’s weight has lasting effects such as decreased self-esteem, depression, body dysmorphia and disordered eating.

We should always encourage our children to live a healthy lifestyle. It is important to teach kids from a young age that weight does not equate to health. When kids see or hear their parents or other trusted adults talk about people with bigger bodies in a negative way and deem them “unhealthy,” they internalize it.

When teaching kids the power of body positivity, the most important thing to do is start by being a good role model. Be careful about the words you use to describe yourself and how you talk about your body. Be sure to speak of your own body using positive terms. Also, talk to your kids about how all bodies are different and their body isn’t expected to look just like anyone else’s. Make sure you set yourself up as someone they trust and can talk to when they are feeling self-conscious.

Trying to work on your own relationship with food and exercise can also be a great way to role model for children. So often we look at foods as “good” or “bad,” but really all of it is just fuel for our bodies. Some foods give us more fuel, while others might make us feel like they have drained the fuel. This is a great way to talk about food with kids. There is a time and place for all types of snacks and treats. Talk about fueling our bodies, what foods give us more energy, and what foods are going to make us feel stronger. It’s also important to stress that you never have to “earn” food through exercise. Be sure you’re showing your kids that exercise is there to make you feel good, get stronger, and have more energy, and not just to be thin or fit a specific body type.

Eating disorders for young people are on the rise every year, but with more people coming forward and actively loving their bodies at all different shapes and sizes, we are moving in a direction to allow kids to feel comfortable and confident. 

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Supporting Your Child Through the Teen Years

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By Angel Wagner, MSW, LSW – March 20, 2024

Being a teenager can be rough. We think we have it hard as adults, juggling work, home, family finances, and more. Imagine having some of those responsibilities, plus you’re not quite sure who you are, where you want to go in life, and what you want to be. It’s no wonder our teens are experiencing anxiety.

Teens report feeling significant pressure when it comes to making immediate decisions about exactly what they want to do after high school. Four years go by in the blink of an eye, and some teens report they don’t even know what hobbies they enjoy, let alone what they’re going to study in college or what career they’re going to choose.

These suggestions on how to show support may help ease your teen’s anxiety about themselves and their future. First, a supportive environment with a lot of options is key. As a school social worker, I hear teens say every day how they just want to make their mother, father, or other parental figure proud. However, they worry that because they are interested in something like art and their parent is a lawyer that they are a complete letdown. Allowing your teen to explore their options and find what they are passionate about with a supportive “I’m so proud of you” attitude can help ease their mind. Kind words go a long way.

Encourage your teen to take a break sometimes. High school is challenging! Teens have multiple courses in their high school curriculum, and some even juggle college credits to get a head start on their post-secondary education. When you add sports, clubs, maybe a part-time job, and social activities, there’s a lot on their plate!

As a parent, you have a lot on your plate as well, but it’s important to spend quality time with your teenager. Use vacation time, put your phones away, and take your teen somewhere you would all enjoy. If you can’t get away, create a “staycation” by enjoying activities close to home, visiting local parks or attractions, or even pitch a tent in the backyard! We all need a break, and your child will enjoy the memories for a lifetime.

Last, but definitely not least, talk it out. Life is so busy. Adults have hectic schedules and work obligations, and teens are trying to figure it all out before May of senior year. Sometimes a vent session is needed. Even if your teen is not receptive right away, just knowing they can talk to you goes a long way. You may even consider having them talk to a professional. Therapy can help your teen learn the coping and communication skills needed to navigate the decisions they are facing in the years ahead.

Life gives us so many paths to take and decisions to make, which can leave our heads spinning. Giving your teen praise and support, making memories, taking breaks, and providing a free space to vent about their struggles are just a few simple ways you can help ease their minds about the big decisions they are facing during this season of life.

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Car Ride Conversations: Meaningful Connection Time with Kids

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By Jessica Golba, MSW, LSW – March 13, 2024

Car rides with your kiddos can be the perfect opportunity to have meaningful conversations. You will have their undivided attention and can discuss a variety of topics. Since you are not looking directly at them, they will be more apt to share.

I suggest keeping the radio at a low volume or letting them choose the music. You will most likely be vying for attention from devices, music, or other kids. When possible, get them one-on-one, even if you are only running an errand to the bank or grocery store. If your teen is getting their license, ask them to drive you.  Most jump at the chance to get driving time, and this will ensure they are device free.

Here are some tips and ideas for topics to bring up during car rides:

1. Ask them about their day and how school is going. Ask open-ended questions. Limit the amount of yes/no questions, or all you will get are yes/no answers.

2. Talk about their hobbies and interests. They may balk at talking about themselves at first, but keep at it!

3. Ask if they have thought about what kind of job they want in the distant future. What about during high school? Tell them about your first job. I am always pointing out the orchard where I first worked, so often that my kids can tell the story on their own now.

3. Share stories about your teenage years. If you see the make and model of your first car, you must point it out…that’s the rule.  

4. Discuss current events or social issues. Refrain from judging and respect their viewpoint on the issues. Offer your view as an opinion, not fact.

5. Ask fun/silly questions, such as: “If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?” “What kind of animal would you want when you are on your own and what would you name it?”

6. Use the time to teach them important life skills like budgeting or changing a tire. With non-licensed kiddos, explain how a 4-way stop works, how to parallel park, and point out common road courtesy. These things can help in the future when they are learning to drive.

7. Listen, listen, and listen. The ironic thing about not asking too many questions is that you will get more answers by remaining silent and letting your child talk. If they are willing to open up about issues they are having, let them talk. Asking too many questions can sometimes make a teen feel as if they are being judged or didn’t do the “right thing” because you are questioning them.

8. In general, keep the topics light so that when you have to discuss something more serious they are already used to listening to you (and hearing what you have to say).

9. When in doubt, bad “Dad jokes” will at least get an eye roll, such as, “You know what bugs me? Insect puns.”

Remember, the key to having great conversations with your kids in the car is to be a good listener and show genuine interest in what they say. With some effort, car rides with your kids can become some of the best conversations you will ever have.

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Helping Your Child through a Traumatic Experience

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By Audrey Bowlds, MSW, LSW – March 6, 2024

As parents and caregivers, we definitely want our children to feel safe, happy, protected and cared for. However, we can’t always be with our children as much as we’d like.

Children are faced with making choices on their own every day at school, friends’ houses, summer camps, on social media, and even at home when parents are away. Every choice a child makes has consequences, either positive or negative.

Unfortunately, between peer pressures, social media influence, and immaturity, children sometimes make a choice that leads to a traumatic experience. Even if we are with our children, a traumatic event such as a car crash, witnessing a robbery, or sheltering together at home during a weather disaster could occur.

After a traumatic experience, children can show signs of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, intense emotional upset, academic and attention difficulties, nightmares, and changes in their sleeping and eating habits. No matter what traumatic experience took place, a child might react differently than others involved in the same experience.

Everyone experiences trauma and deals with the aftermath in their own way, whether they experienced it together or not. Children are often more resilient than adults when dealing with a traumatic experience. Because the neural pathways of their young brains are still developing, it is very important to seek out mental health counseling for a child after this type of event. The more we engage and reinforce healthy pathways, the better we can support the mental and emotional well-being of the child.

Although we never want to think about our children being in a traumatic situation, there are resources to utilize if needed. Along with seeking out a therapist or mental health counselor for your child, you can also help them through their healing journey. It is important to talk about the traumatic event with your child, even if it is uncomfortable. If you do not openly talk about the event with your child, it will be harder for them to accept what happened and move on from the experience.

You should take their feelings seriously. You may have to reassure your child repeatedly and listen to the same concerns. They might want to talk repeatedly about their traumatic experience, or maybe not at all. Either way, it is important that you check in with them and make sure they feel safe.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), more than two thirds of children reported at least one traumatic experience by age sixteen. The reality is that traumatic experiences happen every day, and while it is frightening to think about, it is important to know how to help a child if needed. The child might not fully recover or completely forget about their traumatic experience, but with the resources mentioned in this article, they will most definitely be able to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

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Feeling Overwhelmed as a Parent: Knowing How to Cope

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By Sarah Elrod, LMHC – February 28, 2024

If you are a working parent, whether it’s full or part time, this article is for you. Have you ever just felt so overwhelmed that you couldn’t breathe? Is it difficult to find a minute for yourself each day after taking care of others? Are there days you get off work and just don’t want to talk to anyone or even take care of your kids? Or maybe you’ve had a day where you just want to sit on the couch and binge your favorite Netflix show without being bothered.

If you answered yes to any of these, you are not alone, and I am here to validate you. You are doing an amazing job. For most parents, there are days where we push ourselves to the limit and feel like we have nothing left to give.

In addition to working and taking care of a family, many parents choose to take time for hobbies, workouts or coaching their child’s sports team. Then, when you finally convince yourself to do something you enjoy, you might feel guilty for not spending the spare time you have with your family.

I want you to know is that it is okay to take a break. It is okay to not get everything done in one day. That’s what tomorrow is for. Personally, I am not immune to feeling guilty when I believe I haven’t done enough. It’s a completely normal feeling.

Working as a mental health professional for the past 6 years has taught me that we are all fighting our own battles, no matter how big or small we may think they are. We all have our own ways of adjusting or getting through the hard times. I have come up with some steps to follow during those times to help focus on you.

  1. Acknowledge how you feel. Take at least 30 seconds each day to check in with yourself. Assess how your body is feeling. Pay attention to the thoughts you’re having. Once you have taken the time to focus on yourself for just a moment, move on to the next step. 
  2. Validate yourself. Validate feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, satisfaction or happiness. Per Dictionary.com, the definition of validation is, “recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.”  Give yourself some credit for all that you’re able to accomplish and give yourself grace. 
  3. Identify what soothes you or how you can cope effectively with the stress you are experiencing. A coping skill is a behavior or activity that one might use to decrease stress or manage difficult emotions. So when you’re trying to cook dinner after a long and stressful day, the kids are fighting for your attention and you feel stressed out, a coping skill is your best friend. Some examples of coping skills include listening to music, exercising, smelling a candle, interacting with your pet, hanging out with friends, or deep breathing and meditation. A great resource is Positivepsychology.com, where there’s a long list of coping skills. See what works best for you. The goal is to get to a level of functioning where you don’t feel like you’re going to self-implode. 
  4. Remember that you are capable and strong. If you feel as though taking steps on your own is not working, I highly recommend seeking out a mental health professional so you can talk in a comfortable and supportive environment. Additionally, most employers offer an Employee Assistance Program, where they collaborate with a local mental health facility and offer a designated number of therapy sessions free of charge.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that you are not alone. Your feelings are valid and you have the right to take care of yourself along with everyone else. Give yourself permission to focus on you and be the best version of yourself you can be!

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Why is Youth Sports Participation Decreasing?

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By Jordan Nonte, MSW, LSW – February 21, 2024

There are many factors impacting sports and athletes today, including social media, cost to participate, time commitment, and hyper competitiveness. I think anyone could make the argument that sports help kids develop many skills that can benefit them in adulthood. However, since sports culture has been evolving, are the benefits outweighing the costs?

According to the Aspen Project, in 2018, 38 percent of children participated in an organized sport, down from 45 percent in 2008. According to the MedPage Today, research has found that early or overspecialization in sports, or playing the same sport for 8 months or more per year, has increased injuries and burnout.

Meanwhile, parents are paying big money for their child to participate in some programs, on top of gear and travel. These high costs may cause parents to put more pressure on teams to succeed. Some parents may be expecting their children to obtain athletic scholarships for college, also increasing an athlete’s pressure to compete.

Demanding schedules can cause overuse injuries, resulting in medical bills and worried parents, causing further stress and anxiety on young athletes. These stressors may pressure kids to play through the pain or return to a sport before their injury has fully healed.

When kids try out for a sport, their main goal is usually to “have fun.” They are expecting to make new friends, develop skills in a sport, and get some mentorship from a coach. As time goes on and the stakes get higher, this may evolve into burnout from a packed schedule, guilt from parents’ financial contributions and time commitment, stress from an injury, anxiety to earn a scholarship, and ultimately, pressure to win. Many times, older athletes are completely basing their value as a person on their ability to compete in a sport.

So what do we do to prevent this? An athlete’s enjoyment in a sport largely contributes to whether or not they will stick with it. So how can we make sports fun again for athletes?

What about if we check in with our athletes as parents and coaches? We might ask questions like, “What are you hoping to get out of this season?”  “What would you like to see happen?” “How can I support you?”

It might mean, as a parent, leaving the coaching to the coaches and not coaching from the stands or coaching on the way to and from games, or cutting out the travel season and just competing during the school season. As a coach it might mean cutting back on the two-a-day practices, having a team bonding day or outing, incorporating fun games into practice, or giving a day off.

And for both parties, it might mean prioritizing fun and skill building over winning. Overall, having positive and encouraging conversations with athletes and checking in is a must.

Unfortunately, there is no black and white answer. What works for one athlete may not work for all. Every athlete is an individual, trying to thrive with different dynamics of parents, coaches, and teammates. How they are doing and feeling about a sport depends on many factors.

Therefore, I’ll leave you with this. Check in with your athletes whether you are a parent or coach. Take time to talk with them one-on-one and really listen to their hopes as well as their burdens. From there, assist them in coming up with some options to find relief, address an issue, or maybe sign up for another sport. We won’t know the answer until we have these conversations and show our athletes that we are there to listen, support, and help them make the best decisions for their mind, body, and spirit. Maybe then, we will see more kids joining sports again, and more importantly, having fun!

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