Tag Archive for: Social Worker Articles

The Power of Empathy

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By Ashley Lingafelter, MSW, LSW – September 11, 2024 –

In a fast-paced and technology driven world, empathy remains an essential quality that promotes genuine human connection and understanding. Empathy is the capacity to put oneself in another person’s shoes, recognizing and understanding their emotions, experiences, and perspective.

The ability to understand and share the feelings of another person is what makes us unique and compassionate beings. It plays a pivotal role in fostering healthy relationships, resolving conflicts, and promoting a more compassionate society.

Psychologists have identified three components of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. Cognitive empathy involves understanding another person’s thoughts and emotions, even if one does not personally experience them. It requires active listening, open-mindedness, and a willingness to consider different perspectives.

Emotional empathy refers to feeling the same emotion as another person, often leading to a sense of shared experience and resonance with their feelings. It enables individuals to offer comfort and support while validating the other person’s emotions.

Lastly there is compassionate empathy, which combines cognitive and emotional empathy, compelling individuals to take action to alleviate others’ suffering. It fuels acts of kindness, selflessness, and social advocacy.

Empathy has far-reaching benefits on both an individual and societal level. Here are a few key reasons why empathy is essential:

1. Building Stronger Relationships: Empathy forms the cornerstone of strong interpersonal connections. By actively listening and understanding others, we can gain trust, foster teamwork, and create meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

2. Conflict Resolution: Empathy helps resolve conflicts by providing a deeper understanding of others’ perspectives. It encourages constructive dialogue and problem-solving.

3. Enhancing Emotional Intelligence: Empathy is closely linked to emotional intelligence, which involves recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions.

4. Fostering Inclusivity and Tolerance: Empathy allows us to embrace diversity and appreciate different cultures, beliefs, and backgrounds. It promotes a sense of inclusivity, tolerance, and respect for individual differences by dismantling stereotypes and biases.

5. Creating Social Change: Empathy fuels acts of kindness and compassion, inspiring individuals to make a positive difference in society. It drives philanthropy, volunteering, and social activism, paving the way for a more equitable and empathetic world.

So how do we become more empathetic and how do we teach our children to be empathetic? Empathy is a skill that can be nurtured and developed. Pay attention to others’ words, body language, and emotions. Practice active listening by being fully present in conversations and showing genuine interest.

Try to understand situations from others’ viewpoints, considering their beliefs, values, and experiences. This promotes empathy and helps bridge the gap between different perspectives. We can read more diverse narratives and stories and watch more diverse movies. Doing so will broaden our understanding of others’ experiences and help us cultivate empathy. We also need to practice more self-reflection. We need to make sure we are aware of our own biases, assumptions, and experiences to be able to approach others with an open mind.

Empathy is a powerful force that promotes understanding, strengthens relationships, and fosters social change. It is an essential skill that can be developed through active listening, perspective-taking, and self-reflection. Let us embrace empathy to bridge divides, build connections, and make the world a little brighter for one another.

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Why Students Should Leave Cell Phones in Lockers

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By Heidi Mikac, MSW, LSW – September 4, 2024 –

As a school social worker, one of the most frustrating parts of my job is when I’m in the middle of a session with a student and they take out their cell phone and start texting as if I don’t notice or exist. When I tell them to put their phone away, they protest as if it’s a life or death situation. 

How did I survive middle school and high school without a cell phone?  I didn’t get my first phone until I was a freshman in high school, and it was so difficult to handle I barely used it. But somehow I survived, and I’m still here to tell the tale. 

There are issues that are difficult to ignore when it comes to the use of cell phones by students. There has been a noticeable increase in depression and mental health concerns among children who spend their days (and nights) gazing at the bright white screen in front of them. Countless hours spent watching TikTok and arguing back and forth over Snapchat have made it difficult for students to focus their attention on studies, friends, and family. 

Many of my students have told me they don’t communicate often with their parents because they lock themselves in their room and watch YouTube or chat with friends on social media sites during their down time. This chronic behavior is taking away from quality family time and interfering with their ability to complete any meaningful homework or chores at home. I’ve noticed that when a student’s phone is taken away from them at school, the student reacts like a junkie who can’t get a fix. I’ve had many students come into my office crying because a teacher took away their phone. 

Since 2015, more and more teenagers have reported feeling lonely. This has not escaped my attention at the middle school where I work. It has been alarming to see the social skills of many students atrophy over the past few years. Many students seem to have forgotten how to start a conversation with their peers and would rather sit alone in silence than interact with their schoolmates. While on lunch duty, I routinely observe many students burying their faces in their cell phones instead of socializing with their peers. 

I am not advocating a complete ban of cell phones. I understand that students may need their phones for various reasons, but there are some commonsense solutions. The student fixation on cell phones has led me to the conclusion that it would be in the best interest of teachers, administrative support staff, and especially the students if we simply had them keep their cell phones in their lockers during classroom hours. Another solution might include issuing a bin to each classroom. Students could leave their phones in the container after turning them off for the duration of the class. I think that would help both teachers and students resolve this sensitive issue. There is no easy fix, but ignoring the problem is not contributing to the wellbeing or academic excellence of our youth.

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Creating a Resilient Child

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By Camryn Cater, MSW, LSW – August 28, 2024 –

Life can be described as a roller coaster, riding the highs and sometimes dropping to unexpected lows. There are certainly different emotions and feelings we experience along the way.

Resiliency is the ability to adapt well to trauma, tragedy, threats, and other areas of stress. Raising children to be resilient through the highs and lows of this quick ride called “life” is important. The exciting news is that resiliency can be taught.

Resiliency can come from a child’s beliefs, personality traits, and influences in their environment. Children who believe they can influence the world rather than the world controlling who they are can be more resilient to change. They also have a higher chance of controlling emotions and creating better coping skills.

A key component when ensuring your child can be resilient through life’s trials is helping them form connections. Demonstrate and encourage your child to build a support system and get involved in a community to create a resilient environment. Connection provides support during challenging times or situations that may be out of our control.

Self-care is another practice in routine that can ensure your child radiates with resiliency. Self-care is the act of improving or protecting one’s happiness and well-being. This can be as simple as working out, eating healthy foods, and getting enough sleep.

Ensuring your children incorporate enjoyable activities into their routine can also provide them with an outlet during stressful times, while also preserving their happiness. These activities might include clubs, sports, Scouts, music lessons, or other social activities.

Self-care is also knowing when to take a break. Children can have busy schedules or feel overwhelmed from time to time. Ensure they have time to decompress and slow down to process their emotions.

Children or teens that have access to at least one trusted adult in their life are more resilient. Children need an outlet where they can express their emotions in a healthy way. These outlets might include talking to someone like therapists, counselors, a parent/guardian, friend, or another trusted adult.

As a parent/guardian, be open and honest with your school-aged children using simple statements. Be a listening ear even if you are not in agreement with their concerns or emotions. It is essential for children to feel heard. Guide them to problem solve or express themselves in a healthy way.

Teaching your child to set goals is a great habit to start as a family and can create an emotionally well rounded child. Setting goals allows us to see how far we have come and gives the motivation to continue. Goal setting can be as simple as journaling any goals we would like to achieve in the future. Another healthy way to journal is to list what you are proud of accomplishing that day, something that made your day, or simply expressing each emotion you felt. These techniques can guide you to more self-awareness, ultimately making you more flexible with the ebb and flow of life. Taking that step to express yourself (for your eyes only) is one of the most powerful self-improvement techniques one can practice.

Change can be scary for children, teens, and even adults. Help your child understand that change is a part of life. Focusing on the positives of change can lead your child to be more optimistic. Point out the positive changes they have already made, such as moving up a grade at school.

Take steps to teach your child and family unit to be resilient during the highs and lows of the rollercoaster ride of life. Hiding what is happening in their world may only postpone anxiety that can pop up later. Telling them too many details of hardships or tragedy, however, could fuel their fears and worries.

By introducing routine, self-care, connections, goal setting, positivity, and making sure your child has at least one trusted adult to confide in, you can build resiliency and change the way your child adapts to struggles and hardships.

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How Active Listening Skills Can Benefit Your Family

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By Emily Bernhardt, MSW, LSW – August 22, 2024 –

Active listening is a skill that can be used to strengthen relationships with anyone we encounter or communicate with. It can be useful when engaging with clients, coworkers, friends, family and even strangers, but it is especially helpful when we use these skills to interact with our children. So often children can feel unheard and misunderstood when seeking support from adults, but implementing active listening skills when having conversations with them can make all the difference.

There are several components that go into active listening. Think about it like this: These skills are behaviors that allow the person you are communicating with to see and feel that you are truly listening to them. Making sure the person has your full attention is a great place to start. Put away your phone, work, or any other distractions and focus completely on your child and what they have to say to you.

Another great active listening skill is to paraphrase back to your child what you think you are hearing them say. This shows you are listening, and it is also helps ensure you are accurately understanding what they are conveying. They then have the opportunity to rephrase anything you may have misunderstood.

Another great active listening skill is using gestures and other forms of nonverbal communication to show you are paying attention to what your child is saying. Make eye contact and give simple head nods as they speak. If you have small children, getting down on their level is something that can help them feel more connected to you in that moment.

One important thing to remember about active listening is that it is all about helping your child feel heard; it does not mean you have to agree with everything they say. It is absolutely okay to acknowledge your child’s thoughts or wishes, express your gratitude for their willingness to share, and then let them know why you have a differing perspective.

It can feel uncomfortable to listen to our children when they are struggling or going through a challenge. Often adults feel like they need to know the “right” thing to say, but in some situations even offering support through a hug or just being present with your child is enough.  

All in all, everyone likes to feel heard when communicating with others, even adults. Our children are no different. Learning active listening skills can positively impact family relationships and help strengthen bonds between caregiver and child. The more heard and supported our children feel when communicating with us, the more likely they are going to be open and share when it really matters most. Taking the time to learn and practice active listening skills is one great step in doing your part to cultivate a healthy and supportive relationship with your child.

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Getting Back in a School Routine

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By Christine Weinzapfel-Hayden, MSW, LCSW – August 7, 2024 –

I don’t know about you, but to me it feels like the first day of summer break was just last week. How can it possibly be time to start setting those alarm clocks again?

If your family has fallen out of the school year routine, there is good news: I have four tips to make getting out the door for school a little easier. 

First and foremost, do not underestimate the importance of having a healthy sleep routine. Getting your kids (and possibly even yourself) back into a nightly schedule should be the top priority. Setting a routine will help sleep come faster to those who struggle. According to Calm.com, the best practice for a good night’s sleep is putting electronics down at least an hour before bedtime. Screen time before bed has been linked to overstimulation of the brain and can increase anxiety and depression symptoms.

Second, consistency is important. A nighttime routine can look different for every family, but for young children it should be something along the lines of eating dinner, bathing, brushing teeth, reading, and heading to bed. If your child is a visual learner, post the routine in pictures or words (depending on the age of your child) so they have a visual understanding of where they are in their routine each day. 

Third, know the plan each week. Spend part of your Saturday or Sunday looking at the week ahead and discussing as a family what everyone’s needs are and what may need adjustment. My family loves to utilize a large dry-erase calendar that hosts everything, from who is eating school lunch on which days to which practices each child needs to attend. We make sure to add extra events that may have come up and any appointments. This method works well for our family, because it not only allows us to set up a monthly/weekly schedule but also allows us to plan for anything extra that might pop up. 

Finally, do as much as you can today to prepare for tomorrow. Before going to bed each night make sure lunches are packed, backpacks have all necessary supplies, and outfits for the next day are ready to go. This takes the panic and rush out of the morning routine. If your kids are old enough, have them learn responsibility by taking part in planning activities. They can pack their lunches under your guidance, lay out their outfit based on what activities they have planned the next day, and make sure all of their needed supplies have made it back into their backpack for tomorrow. 

The first day of the new school year can sneak up on us. That doesn’t mean it has to be hurried and stressful for your family. By setting a schedule and planning ahead, you can help guarantee your back-to-school season goes smoothly.

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Setting Your Middle School Student Up for Success

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By Vicki Kirkman, LCSW, LCAC – August 1, 2024 –

The transition to middle school can be an intimidating yet exciting time for both students and parents. During a time when young adolescents are gaining independence and facing more responsibilities, it is vital that parents stay involved and continue to nurture the child-parent bond.

In preparation for this important milestone, there are several ways to help your student feel prepared and have success.

Ask your child their thoughts about preparing for middle school. Questions like, “What are you most excited about?” “Is there anything you want to know more about before you start school?” and “Do you have any worries about middle school?” can help you understand more about how your child is feeling.

Take time to physically scope out the location of the school. Many area schools host visits prior to school starting, so your child may have already visited during their last few months of elementary school. Be sure to follow up on that visit and ask your child how they felt about meeting the new staff and being in the school building.  If your child did not participate in a visit, ask to tour the building before school starts.

Talk with your child about the many changes middle school will bring. Middle school students have to learn how to navigate different classrooms/teachers throughout the school day. Often, buildings are bigger and the length of passing periods will limit how much time your child has between classes. Help them learn how to manage their time so they can have bathroom breaks, get water, or visit with friends and still be on time to class.

Time management is also important when students have more classes in middle school. Teaching your child how to make “to do” lists, organize their school material, and plan their day so they can manage classes and other afterschool activities can set them up for success.

Encourage your child to take advantage of all that middle school has to offer. Afterschool activities or clubs, sports, or new areas of interest like band or choir can provide a way for your child to meet new people and have new experiences. Keep them connected to activities outside of school too, such as volunteer opportunities, faith-based activities, or commitments that are important to your family.

Discuss characteristics that your child thinks are important to look for when keeping and making new friends. Adolescents at this age start to really value and rely on their peer relationships. Talking about values and behaviors that are important to your child will help encourage healthy friendships.

Keep open communication with your child about their growth and development. Their bodies and emotions are changing rapidly and it’s important for them to understand what is normal and how to manage the challenges that come along with puberty. Stay up to date with appointments with their primary care doctor and dentist for good health. Model and encourage good stress management and coping skills. Getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising, and engaging in fun activities are habits they can develop and use their whole life.

Identify professionals in the building that can help if your student is feeling overwhelmed or needs extra support. Identify a teacher, counselor, school social worker, school nurse or other administrators as go-to people if your child needs assistance. Ask for help if more specialized support is needed. School social workers and counselors can provide ideas and referrals if community resources are needed for the student and family.

Lastly, stay engaged in your child’s education. Attend school events, sign up and read communications from the school, utilize email to stay in touch with teachers, and ask your child open-ended questions about how their day went to stay informed. If you stay attentive and involved, your middle school student will be set up for success.

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The Dangers of Vaping

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By Sara Wilson, MSW, LSW – July 24, 2024 –

According to Indiana Public Radio in October 2023, nine percent of all Indiana youth said they used e-cigarettes in the past month. And in 11th and 12th grade, nearly 20 percent of students said they had been vaping within the month.

Vaping or using e-cigarettes is an epidemic that has led to children as young as elementary age experimenting with them. Often, misinformation makes vaping sound less dangerous than traditional cigarettes. However, facts show this is not true. 

The key to preventing vaping in children and adults is education. When we know better, we do better. Important facts to communicate include the following, found at the Tobacco Education Resource Library:

  • Most e-cigarettes contain nicotine. Children and teens often believe e-cigarettes do not contain any type of nicotine, rather just the flavor juice. This myth is used to make e-cigarettes appear more “healthy” than regular cigarettes. The fact is, most e-cigarettes not only contain nicotine, but the website notes that vapes, especially one Juul pod, can contain as much nicotine as an entire pack of cigarettes.
  • By heating the ingredients, e-cigarettes create an aerosol that is inhaled. Some of the ingredients include not only nicotine, but nickel, lead, tin, aluminum, and even formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is one of the chemicals used when embalming a deceased person in order to preserve the body. 
  • Introducing such chemicals at a young age increases the risk of addiction to not only e-cigarettes, but also to other drugs. The child and teen brain is still developing and forming numerous connections. The introduction of such chemicals makes the brain feel dependent on these chemicals. 

In addition to educating your child about the real risks of e-cigarettes, there are other steps you can take to help curtail vaping. Be aware of behaviors that may indicate your child is using e-cigarettes. According to the Massachusetts Center for Adolescent Wellness, such behaviors might include increased thirst; nose bleeds; smelling like mint, candy, or fruit; increased agitation, anxiety, or impatience; secrecy or increased need for privacy.

When discussing vaping with your child, the American Lung Association recommends the following considerations:

  • Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Consider the pressure and social environment they encounter in their daily lives, and remember what that felt like when you were their age.
  • Remind your child that you are on their side without judgment or frustration. If a child feels judged, they may react defensively or tune you out completely. An open discussion is the best approach to lead to a positive outcome.
  • Find the right time and place. Choose a calm moment where vaping is already at the top of their mind, like when you’re driving past a vape shop or your child is attending an event with friends. This will help you guide the conversation and discuss vaping without defensiveness.
  • Practice having this conversation with a partner or trusted friend, and go through the points you feel are most important to communicate. Try to anticipate how the conversation will go, and prepare yourself to respond to your child calmly and respectfully. This will also encourage them to come to you with problems in the future.

If you discover that your child is vaping, contacting your pediatrician or family doctor to evaluate the level of use and possible addiction may be necessary. Often, vaping is not discovered until some time has passed. If an addiction has formed, stopping without medical guidance may be difficult or even medically unsafe. 

Keeping communication open and available without lecturing is important. Parents need children and teens to understand the dangers of e-cigarettes. Children and teens need parents to understand the pressures of engaging in using e-cigarettes. When both parties are willing to listen and understand the other, chances of prevention increase. 

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Kids Need to Fail to be Successful

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By Nolan Miller, MSW, LCSW – July 17, 2024 –

Picture this. You are in school and kids are choosing teams for a basketball game. Five students are very good at the sport and five may need to work on their skills a bit more. No matter how the teams are chosen, one team will have an advantage over the other. As a result, what should we do? Quit or play the game?

For some, this question is not so easy to answer. As a school social worker, I often see children who love to play games, sports, or anything that is competitive in nature, but they do not like to lose.

It’s safe to say none of us, even adults, really want to lose. It can make us feel like we are not good enough and therefore shouldn’t even try. However, this is far from the truth. We learn more from losing than from winning.

A better question is: How do we help our children understand that it isn’t always about winning and it’s okay to lose sometimes?

For example, when playing a board game (and I know as an adult I can win this game nine times out of ten), do I let the child win sometimes or beat them every time? Perhaps try to find a balance between victories and losses. It’s all about the discussion after the game and how the child reacts. When they win, are they enjoying the win or are they gloating that they are more skilled? This may give insight on how they feel when they are losing. When they lose, are they brushing off the loss or running away from the game saying they never want to play again? 

I grew up playing sports and games with my family. I didn’t enjoy losing. However, understanding that I was more than just a competitor in a game was a lesson I could use in different aspects of my life. Bad days happen, and we have the opportunity to learn and grow from them. Some factors are not in our control, and we can either run from our struggles or learn to control our reactions.

No one expects a child to take every loss in stride, but you can begin laying the foundation to accept losses with grace and courage. Whether they are competing on the field, the court, the stage, or just playing on the playground with friends, keeping the lines of positive communication open can lead to a more positive experience with others. 

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Siblings Can Teach Each Other Empathy

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By Haley Ballard, MSW, LSW – July 11, 2024 –

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is an important skill for children to develop, because it helps them understand and connect with others from all walks of life. Ensuring that your children learn about empathy will allow them to deepen their relationships with friends and other loved ones.

One of my closest relationships is with my little sister. I have spent more quality time with my sister than I have with anyone else, because we grew up so close and we still spend time with each other any chance we get. She knows how to make me laugh so hard, but she also knows how to push my buttons. Any emotion you can think of – excitement, pride, loss – I have felt with my sister. We have learned a lot about empathy by going through our major life experiences together.

When my sister was graduating from high school and had been accepted into college I felt so proud of her. I saw the struggle and the effort she put into her homework every night as I tried my best to help her understand math and writing prompts. I saw the pride in her face as she walked across the stage in her cap and gown at her high school graduation to receive her diploma. We also shared excitement as she opened up her college acceptance letter and received academic scholarships. In those moments, I could really empathize with her because it reminded me of how I felt when I graduated and was accepted into college.

When our family dog of twelve years died, my sister was there for me and I was there for her. I felt no one else understood what I was feeling better than she did, because we felt the hurt and loss together. We sat, cried, and talked about all the wonderful and silly memories we had of our dog running around in the snow, stealing our blankets, and the time she ate a whole pie while we were gone. Grieving the loss of our dog helped us connect and mutually feel love and loss.

My sister and I have helped each other go through the “ups and downs” of life. Because she has been there with me through it all, I have learned to connect more with her through the emotions we share. She has helped me learn to connect with others by being able to fully understand and share the feelings others go through.

Take the time to talk about and give names to feelings with your children to help them learn about empathy. Use real-life situations happening with siblings as a way to talk about and process their feelings. Be sure to point out when they are (or are not) showing empathy towards their siblings and help them practice it through their interactions with each other. This will help them develop their relationships as siblings and with other people in their lives.

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Establishing Communication with Your Child from an Early Age

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By Kacie Shipman, MSW, LSW – July 3, 2024 –

It’s important to teach your child to communicate well from an early age. Getting your children to share their thoughts or feelings with you can sometimes feel like an impossible task. Often, as children age and their peers become an increasingly important part of their lives, they spend more time communicating with friends than their parents/caregivers.

As a school social worker, when working with teens and encouraging them to share with their parents, we discuss the barriers to being more open. First, students tend to share that their parents or caregivers are too busy to listen. The definition of busy can vary. I encourage children to think of times where they might interact with their parents, such as on a car ride home from school or practice.

Set aside a time where the distractions are limited and give kids an open opportunity by verbally reminding them you always have time for conversation. This is a good way to open a discussion. Sharing during car rides or dinner prep might be situations where they don’t feel pressured to make eye contact. 

Most children are concerned about the reaction they will receive when they share their feelings. Establish a plan where the child lets you know they have something on their hearts that needs specific, uninterrupted time for conversation. One way could be to leave a note or send a text that they would like to talk. This is a time where siblings or other household members understand that interruptions should be limited. Your child will feel valued by the specific time set aside.

During this time, provide them with the opportunity to share fully before expressing your thoughts or feelings. It’s a good idea to take an hour or wait until the next evening to give yourself time to reflect and regulate before responding.

Letting your child know that you won’t react in a big way can help decrease initial hesitation to talk about a difficult feeling or situation. If your child is concerned that what they share will bring about conflict or punishment, their hesitancy may override their desire to have you help them problem-solve or provide a supportive listening ear.

Share with your child that it is okay to reflect on your feelings and not make quick statements from an initial reaction. This will help in all of their relationships. Relationships suffer when things are said in haste or when we are dysregulated by the intensity of the discussion that may have caught us off guard.

Using statements to reflect how you are feeling by using “I” can help tremendously in making difficult conversations productive. An example of using an “I statement” with your child could be, “I felt a lot of fear and concern when your curfew passed last night and I wasn’t sure where you were.” Walls of defense go up when we hear “you” to start a conversation. When walls are up, the conversation tends to be defensive rather than on finding to a solution.

Being vulnerable and showing concern and fear rather than anger can also help keep your child’s walls of defense down. Overall, teaching and modeling positive healthy communication styles for your child teaches them lifelong skills. Positive communication skills will help your child in many aspects of both their private and professional lives.

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