Tag Archive for: YouthFirst2026

Creating a Positive Relationship with Motivation

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By Yolanda Vidal, MA, LMHC, ATR – February 11, 2026 –

Motivation is often misunderstood as a personality trait, something you either have or you do not. In reality, motivation is a psychological state that fluctuates based on emotional regulation, self-perception, nervous system balance, and the perception of meaning. When labeling motivation solely as an individual’s discipline or willpower, we overlook the complex processes involved in making sustainable change possible.

Low motivation is rarely about laziness. More often, it is a signal of burnout, depression, anxiety, or unresolved trauma. When the nervous system is in survival mode, the brain prioritizes safety over development and growth. In these states, asking someone to “work harder” can feel invalidating and reinforce shame or negative self-worth.

Creating a positive relationship with motivation involves reframing motivation not as force, but as alignment within your life. Taking time to identify stressors, creating sustainable lifestyle changes, and increasing self-care can be pivotal pieces to balancing one’s relationship with motivation.

The foundation of motivation involves maintaining emotional safety. Chronic stress, perfectionism, and low self-worth can activate the brain’s response system to threats. When this response is activated, the brain’s ability to make decisions is impacted. Our bodies are not meant to function in this survival state for long periods of time. One of the most effective first steps in rebuilding motivation and increasing emotional safety is developing self-compassion.

Self-compassion techniques, such as positive self-talk and normalization, can help reduce overall stress, increase positive self-worth, and decrease feelings of resistance. When individuals learn to speak to themselves with the same empathy that they would offer a loved one, motivation becomes less about fear of failure and more about curiosity and self-respect. Self-compassion supports greater resiliency and a positive relationship with motivation.

To ensure emotional safety, emotional regulation is necessary. Motivation cannot be sustained without a regulated nervous system. Utilizing different mindfulness and grounding techniques can help bring the body out of chronic fight-or-flight and into a state where action feels accessible.

Simple interventions such as deep breathing techniques, body scanning, or brief mindfulness check-ins can significantly decrease stress and improve emotional regulation. When individuals learn to notice how they are functioning internally, they can respond with regulation rather than avoidance. Motivation becomes a byproduct of feeling capable rather than overwhelmed. This is particularly important for individuals with anxiety or trauma histories, where avoidance is often a protective response. By addressing emotional regulation, motivation naturally improves as the nervous system stabilizes.

Sustainable motivation is deeply connected to meaning. Values-based actions and motivation can support long-term engagement and positively impact one’s mental health overall. Identifying core values can open motivation to personal connections that feel meaningful to individuals rather than forced. When actions and goals align with personal values, motivation shifts from “I should” to “This matters to me.”

Management is key when looking to increase motivation. Motivation can improve when goals and tasks are broken into small, achievable steps. Large goals and tasks can often feel unachievable or impossible to complete. Even minimal action, such as five minutes of action, can build confidence and challenge feelings of avoidance. Over time, motivation becomes reinforced through consistent experiences and utilization of skills rather than pressure, shame, or guilt.

Ultimately, motivation is not something to conquer. It is something to listen to. When individuals learn to view motivation as a relationship with themselves, rather than a performance metric, change becomes gentler and more sustainable. Building a positive relationship with motivation honors feeling understood, regulated, and aligned with one’s values. Within this positive relationship, motivation stops being a battle and becomes the natural process of change connected to taking care of ourselves.


Yolanda Vidal, MA, LMHC, ATR, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at McGary Middle School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.

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Expressing Emotions in a Healthy Way

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By Hannah Gill, MSW, LSW – February 4, 2026 –

When working with teens and discussing emotions, I often give an analogy of sand in a jar. In this analogy, the sand is our emotions. We can put the sand in the jar and stuff it down, but eventually the jar will overflow. Likewise, we can suppress emotions without feeling them, but eventually our emotions will surface (whether we want them to or not), and sometimes this will be in ways that are detrimental to the teen and their relationships.

Expressing and feeling our emotions is a vital skill that helps demonstrate resilience. One way we can support teens in expressing their feelings is by modeling and having conversations about emotions.

But first, why is expressing emotions something we should be doing?

It might seem more straightforward not to express our emotions, especially around kids and teens. Adults often try to hide their feelings or bottle them up to appear stronger around their children. While this might seem like a good idea, bottling up our emotions can lead to explosions or not being able to access our emotions (both positive and negative). Thus, when we hide our emotions from our teens, we are actually doing them a disservice. Children and teens learn from the adults around them, and they learn how to regulate and manage their emotions from the adults they trust. If adults are modeling emotional regulation, teens will see that they, too, can feel and regulate their emotions.

So, how do we express our emotions in healthy ways?

There are some things we can do to model healthy expressions of emotion and show teens that it is ok to do the same.

  1. Validate and attend to their emotions calmly and consistently. When they experience big emotions, approach them with a patient and calm demeanor. Teens are very good at reading adults’ body language, so the best thing we can do is approach the situation from a place of calm.
  1. Learn to talk about your emotions and your teen’s emotions. One way we learn to express and regulate our emotions is by naming and discussing them. This could be as simple as a “I feel ______ when this happens” or “It sounds like you are feeling ________” for both positive and negative emotions.
  1. Model emotional expression. Just as we ask teens to discuss their emotions and how they are feeling, adults should model this same behavior. Thus, when an adult is feeling upset or happy or overwhelmed or joyful, they can and should talk about this and use the same feeling words they want the teens in their lives to use
  1. Model regulation and co-regulation. Everyone has a different “toolbox” of emotional regulation tools. Model these tools for your teens. When you feel overwhelmed, acknowledge your feelings and practice coping skills. Maybe this involves taking a few deep breaths before speaking, exercising, or journaling at the end of the day.
  1. Address the situation that is causing a negative emotion. If there is a trigger bringing something up for you, work to resolve this and address any differences.
  1. Practice healthy relaxation. One of the ways we manage emotions is by calming our nervous system and practicing effective relaxation techniques. Not only does this model promote healthy relaxation for the teens in our lives, but it also makes us more equipped to help them handle their emotions.

Feeling our emotions and showing them to the teens in our lives can be scary. Being emotional is vulnerable, and many are taught that we should never show our emotions. However, our emotions are crucial and necessary for happy and healthy relationships. And, like most things, it is a muscle that we can work on and practice, and so can your teen. 

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How Social Isolation Impacts Your Child’s Emotional Regulation

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By Jordan Evans, MSW, LSW – January 21, 2026 –

Emotional regulation is a child’s ability to understand, express, and manage their feelings in healthy ways. This skill begins developing early in life and continues to grow throughout childhood. Children do not learn emotional regulation on their own. Instead, they develop it through everyday interactions with parents, caregivers, peers, and their environment.

From a very young age, children look to adults to learn how emotions work. When parents comfort their child, name emotions, or help them calm down when they are upset, they are teaching important emotional skills. For example, when a parent acknowledges a child’s frustration and offers reassurance, the child begins to learn how to cope with strong feelings. Over time, these repeated moments help children manage emotions more independently.

Some children experience social isolation without parents realizing it. This can happen when children spend long periods using screens, are sent to their rooms for extended periods, or have limited opportunities to play with other children. When face-to-face interaction is reduced, children miss valuable opportunities to practice social and emotional skills in real-world situations. These missed experiences can affect how children learn to regulate their emotions.

Spending time with other children plays a key role in emotional development. Through play and occasional conflict, children experience excitement, anger, jealousy, and disappointment. Learning to share, take turns, and work through disagreements helps children build patience, flexibility, and self-control. When children don’t experience regular peer interaction, they may struggle more with frustration and emotional reactions.

Social isolation can also heighten negative emotions. Children who spend a lot of time alone may feel lonely, anxious, or bored, even if they cannot explain these feelings. Without regular interaction, children may have difficulty understanding what they are feeling and how to respond appropriately. This can lead to frequent tantrums, withdrawal from others, or trouble calming down after small challenges.

Language development is closely connected to emotional regulation. Talking with adults and other children helps children learn the words they need to describe their emotions. When children have limited social interaction, they may have fewer opportunities to hear and practice emotional language. As a result, children may become frustrated when they cannot express how they feel, leading to emotional outbursts.

The good news is that parents can make a meaningful difference. Warm and responsive relationships help protect children from the negative effects of social isolation. Simple daily actions such as maintaining routines, talking openly about feelings, offering comfort during difficult moments, and spending quality time together all support emotional growth. Creating opportunities for social play, such as playdates, family activities, or group programs, can also help children practice emotional and social skills.

To help your child learn to regulate their emotions, below are some suggested ways to engage with them:

  • Eat dinner as a family at the table without screens 
  • Read together
  • Play a board or card game
  • Play outside
  • Ask your child about their day
  • Ask your child about their future using open-ended questions
  • Be emotionally available to your child by limiting digital distractions
  • Limit screen time for all household members

By staying engaged, present, and intentional, parents can help their children build strong emotional regulation skills that support healthy relationships, confidence, and emotional well-being throughout their lives.

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Parents, Encourage Social Media Safety

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By Jenna Pauli, MSW, LCSW – January 14, 2026 –

The popularity of social media and its negative effect on children have become controversial subjects. A growing number of social media platforms are targeting very young children.

We are becoming more aware of the negative impacts these outlets and apps can have on a child’s brain, self-esteem, social skills, and overall mental health. It’s probably inevitable that your child will spend time on social media, but you should definitely encourage good social media hygiene to protect them and limit the potential risks.

Research shows that teen brains are especially vulnerable to specific social media features. When looking at how a child’s brain forms, we know that adolescent brain development begins before puberty, around the age of 10, and lasts through early adulthood. During this time, the brain is undergoing major changes, which increases a teen’s need for additional reassurance and attention from peers.

On social media, teens this age are hyper-aware of the likes, comments, and feedback on their posts; this can lead to negative self-esteem and overall negative feelings about themselves and their body image. By limiting the social media apps your child can utilize as well as limiting the amount of time they are allowed to spend on these sites, we can help teens learn healthy boundaries and self-control while promoting positive brain development.

Teens and young children also need specific guidance on how to use these sites appropriately. An important step is teaching children the impact their words can have on others, as well as how others view them. It’s also essential to identify trusted adults they can turn to at school and at home if they notice something concerning on social media or have received an inappropriate message.

Discuss the importance of privacy settings on these sites and why your child should only add individuals they have met in person. Have them show you their social media accounts regularly. Discuss what they see as well as the content they are posting. By having these boundaries in place and sticking to them, your child is more likely to make positive decisions.

Another important way you can help promote social media safety for your child is by modeling this on your own social media accounts. Avoid using your phone and devices when you are engaged with your family, such as during family dinners. Taking “social media holidays” can help ensure your child learns how to prioritize family time over spending time on social media. Recognize when social media is negatively affecting your child’s development. If social media is interfering with friendships, extracurricular activities, or schoolwork, boundaries need to be developed and enforced.

It is important that children are still seeking in-person social interactions and developing positive communication skills. Social media is also harming your child’s development if it is impacting their sleep or if your child lies about what they are doing on these sites.

There are so many wonderful connections being made with the rise of social media. We have the power of information at our fingertips and the ability to stay connected with friends and family all over the world. With the tips above, you can help your child enjoy the positive benefits and avoid the pitfalls of social media. 

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Establishing a Smooth Transition from Home to School

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By Lisa Glahn, MSW, LCSW – January 7, 2026 –

Returning to school after a break can be challenging for many students, especially after longer vacations such as winter or summer break. Typically, the longer a student is away from school, the more challenging it is for them to get back into their school routine. However, there are many tips and resources available for parents and guardians to ensure smooth transitions when returning to school, as well as to promote a more positive morning routine.

Establishing a strong and consistent morning routine is important. When you set a consistent schedule for a child, you are fostering their independence and helping them feel prepared for the day. Creating a visual schedule, such as a calendar, can be helpful. Repeating the routine over time allows the child to understand what each morning entails and establish habits.

Waking up early helps a child prepare for the day ahead. If they wake up late, a child may feel overwhelmed and rushed to make it to school on time. Eating breakfast before school may not be an option, and homework or an important school supply may be left behind. Ensuring a calm and controlled morning can help promote a more positive school day.

Creating a unique goodbye can make the transition more comforting and be a special moment between a student and their parent or guardian. Whether it’s a kiss, a hug, a high-five, a secret handshake, or more than one of these, a special goodbye can add some fun and extra love before beginning the school day.

Having a conversation about the school day ahead can also help make children feel more prepared. This time allows your child to share any concerns or worries they may have. Talking about what the school day will look like helps your child know what to expect and can help them feel more prepared.

Rewards and incentives can also help motivate students. Using a sticker chart allows a student to earn a small reward for completing their morning routine and walking into school each morning.

Allowing your student to bring a comfort item to school can offer a sense of security. It is a good idea to communicate with your child’s teacher before bringing along an item, but most teachers would allow a student to have a picture of their family in their locker or folder. During the car ride to school, the student may even have a special stuffed animal or blanket they can hold onto. This can also be included in the daily morning routine.

Lastly, offering encouragement and affirmations can go a long way in supporting a child. Encouraging your child to do their best every morning before school and providing positive affirmations will help them more than you know. This can help build confidence and allow their level of self-esteem to grow. Leaving notes in their lunchbox or backpack can serve as small touches that motivate them throughout the school day as well.

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