By Kandace Troxell, Intern – January 17, 2024
When you have a baby, your world changes. Your entire focus on life shifts from yourself to keeping your newborn safe and happy. You are constantly holding them, cradling their head, and watching their every move to ensure their safety.
As they grow into a toddler, you put safety locks and guards throughout the house to ensure that they do not bump their head or seriously injure themself. When they become a young child, you insist they wear a helmet when riding a bike and you keep a diligent eye on them in and around swimming pools.
As they reach the teenage years, you make sure they wear their seat belts when they drive in their first car. As parents, protecting your child’s physical health is completely natural…but have you considered how you are protecting your child’s mental health?
Children’s bodies develop and change as they grow, and their brains are developing and changing as well. According to Melissa Ford, senior strategist and writer for the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, a child’s brain is growing and changing even as they move into the teenage and young adult years. In the same way that you protected their bodies, it is important to protect their minds.
One way of doing so, according to Ford, is to create a nurturing environment for the child to grow and develop. If a teenager is experiencing a stressful environment, they may not have the ability to process their emotions in a productive and healthy way because they are overwhelmed by the stress of the environment.
How can you create a low stress environment at home? Start with creating a solid foundation by making sure a child’s basic needs are met, including providing three meals a day, making sure they practice good hygiene, and ensuring that they get adequate sleep. Additionally, it is important to create an environment that does not focus on pressure, shame, or guilt, but instead, focuses on understanding, openness, and empathy.
Another way to protect your child’s brain is by helping them understand the importance of doing so. The Center for Parent and Teen Communication explains that one essential way to educate your child about their brain is to teach them about the harmful effects of drugs and alcohol on their brain and body. Young people may perceive drugs and alcohol as fun, recreational activities to enjoy with friends; however, there are serious consequences for their developing brains.
Additionally, you can teach children WHY it is important to protect and care for their mental health. Together as a family, you can practice self-care activities that lessen stress. These self-care practices could include eating a healthy diet, exercising, doing yoga, taking long walks, journaling, talking to others, and more.
We all want what is best for our children. The bottom line is that it is just as important as a parent to protect your child’s developing brain and their mental health as it is to protect their bodies from harm.
By Aaron Ledford, MSW, LSW – January 10, 2024
Emotions, defined as human reactions we experience in response to events or situations, are a mysterious thing and an abstract concept. Without living our emotions out, they are not “real” concrete things. You can’t draw happiness, but you can draw a picture of something that makes you happy. You can’t draw sadness, but you can draw a situation that makes you sad.
Unless we allow ourselves to live out the specific emotion, they do not and cannot exist. As adults, we can understand this concept to a certain degree, but a child may have a difficult time absorbing this.
We are often given the message that controlling our emotions is about pushing them aside, treating them as if they don’t exist, and “getting over it” so the task at hand can be accomplished. While this is one way of coping, it may not be the best method for everyone, especially a child who is struggling with overwhelming sadness or anxiety. A better method of coping is redirecting our perceived negative emotions into something positive and powerful.
There is a proverb that reads, “If you cannot control yourself, you are like a city without walls, easily conquered.” Self-control is an important thing for anyone to learn and develop. Without learning this concept, we would just give into our intrusive thoughts and suffer the consequences of those actions.
I would like to define self-control as a catch and release of our negative emotions. What I mean by this is understanding what we are feeling, evaluating whether this emotion is valid in the situation, accepting that it is okay and normal to feel this way, and then releasing the hold that emotion might have on us.
We all go through life experiencing negative thoughts and emotions. As adults, we have become so used to the idea that it has become a normal everyday occurrence and we can process our emotions easier. For young people this is a new and foreign thing to experience, especially in a school setting. Helping students identify, evaluate, accept, and release negative emotions can be paramount in the development of a new and emotionally intelligent generation.
Redirection is another possible method of handling one’s emotions. Redirection is taking the negative emotions and thoughts and turning them into something productive and flourishing. For instance, if you are dealing with a lot of stress from a job and coping with unhealthy habits or lifestyle choices, redirection would be going to the gym to release those emotions.
Redirection allows the individual to make better choices when it comes to their emotional state and self-care. Learning how to properly take care of one’s needs after a stressful day is essential for a healthy lifestyle and developing smart coping skills in the future. This method also allows young people to pursue positive passions in their lives. Many people play sports or play an instrument and develop their creative arts talents to help redirect their negative emotions into positive activities. This method also helps by releasing emotions in small doses instead of bottling them up to be expelled later.
As with everything, there are also downsides to this method. One of the downsides includes not fully processing the emotions one is feeling. Just piling on different activities to cope with the negativity may result in covering up an underlying issue and never addressing the concern. This method would make it easier to ignore the root issue causing the negative emotions or thoughts, so this should be carefully and thoughtfully considered.
By Shannon Loehrlein, MSW, LCSW
I love to travel. My parents instilled a love of travel in me from a young age. My mother was a history teacher, and we would spend some vacations visiting historic sites (not my favorite as a middle school student). Other times we would visit Disney World or take a cruise. I know many children do not have this opportunity, and I have always considered myself fortunate.
This summer I had the experience of a lifetime taking my kids to Europe, Alaska, and Disney World. My busy summer made me think about the importance of travel for children.
My kids are currently 9 and 4 and have both traveled since they were only a few months old. When they were very little, I would hear comments from other people about how I was crazy for traveling with them. Sure, we had our share of fits, meltdowns, and embarrassing moments, but the benefits have definitely outweighed the inconveniences. Here are some examples:
Exposure to Different Cultures. Our children visited Europe for the first time this summer. We traveled to Italy, Ireland, Greece, France, and Canada, along with some domestic stops along the way. Each country has its own culture, norms, food, and customs.
Our children first learned, for example, that not all countries have free refills and ice. We had to remind them of this several times when they ordered a soft drink and wanted a refill. They also learned that in Europe it is not customary for hotels, homes, or businesses to be air-conditioned, teaching them adaptability.
Our children have visited some islands in the Caribbean, where most families have a different standard of living than average Americans. They observed kids expressing appreciation and thankfulness for what little they have, and this was an important reminder to them. During our visit to Alaska this year we came across a homeless shelter, and our children had some questions about it. It is important for children to have a basic understanding and compassion for families living in poverty.
Our kids also learned that in most countries around the world, eating out is a several-hour event and not a quick drive through. As Americans, we are used to having quick and efficient service and had to adopt a slower pace. In many cultures, fast meal service is considered rude and makes the customer feel like they are being rushed.
Different Languages. Traveling to unique places exposes you to different languages and dialects, other elements of culture. Although many countries in the world speak English (such as Ireland), the accent and words can mean different things.
Europe is a melting pot, and unlike Americans, most Europeans know multiple languages. It was amazing to see how easily Europeans would go back and forth between languages. Our children learned a few phrases in Italian, French, and Greek, which they thought was a lot of fun.
Kids do not have to travel out of the country to experience different cultures. Most schools offer language instruction. Our home school district has an entire program for children who speak English as a second language. It is important for kids to be exposed to others who are different, which teaches tolerance.
Learning Patience. Travel teaches patience to both children and adults. I would often remind my children to pack their “patience pants” on airplanes, trains, and waiting in lines. Europe had a huge travel boom this summer, and the crowds certainly confirmed this.
Patience is an important life skill that our children learn in school daily. Children must raise their hand, wait their turn, sit quietly, and share with other children. Children are not born with these skills.
Adventure and Mental Well Being. A few years ago, I took a free class from Yale University on the Secret of Happiness from Dr. Laurie Santos, who has spent her life’s work studying the psychology of happiness. One of the lessons that affected me most was about how we spend our money in relation to happiness. Dr. Santos noted that capitalism has contributed to people thinking that buying the latest car, phone, house, clothes, etc. will make them happy. Many of us are chasing that American Dream of consumerism and left feeling empty.
Dr. Santos discovered that what makes us happiest are experiences. Experiences can be as simple as going to the movie, going to the playground, swimming at the pool, or taking a vacation. Her conclusion was that families should spend expendable income on life experiences.
My family decided to prioritize travel in our budget several years ago. Most American families take one or two trips each year. Many enjoy the beach, visiting family out of town, taking road trips, cruises, or visiting amusement parks or large cities. Everyone has a different budget, and you can incorporate travel and experiences at any budget. Some low-cost ideas could be taking your child to the local playground, swimming pool, the zoo, or a splash pad. Families can find fun activities to enjoy together on any budget.
By Lisa Cossey, MSW, LCSW
We’re in the midst of the holiday season. It is nice to look forward to time with family and friends and participate in ongoing family traditions.
A family tradition is something that is recreated year after year, enhancing family involvement and strengthening family bonds.
Each year at Halloween, my husband’s family will get together and spend an evening visiting haunted houses. It’s perhaps not a typical family tradition, but it’s one they’ve done for years and everyone looks forward to. A less frightful Halloween tradition observed by several of my friends and their families is camping Halloween weekend. My own family has planned fall camping trips two years in a row now; perhaps this will turn into a yearly tradition for us.
Another tradition in my own family that I look forward to every year is gathering in my mother’s kitchen to bake pies and other desserts for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. It’s always a good time with much laughter, and now that my own children are older they are officially part of the family baking team as well.
Sharing traditions provides a sense of comfort and security to a family, especially the children involved. Children love routine and consistency; a family tradition provides this year after year. It also helps the children manage the changes in the year and gives them something to look forward to.
In addition, family traditions enhance family and personal well- being and add to the family identity. Strong family bonds are created and reinforced with traditions that are upheld and maintained. As children grow and mature, traditions can be altered to accommodate each family’s needs. For example, perhaps a family with young children has a tradition of singing Christmas carols around their Christmas tree. As the children age, their tradition could evolve into caroling around their neighborhood.
In recent years, my own family has added time to video call with our relatives after Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. These are family members who may not have been able to travel in for the holidays or are stationed out of state or overseas due to military commitments. It gives us all a chance to stay connected as a family, even if we can’t physically be together for the holiday.
Family traditions don’t have to be formal, fancy or cost money. They don’t even have to revolve around the holidays. You can share in a family tradition any day or time of the year. My own family enjoys baking together to prepare for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays; perhaps your family opts to take a walk every Christmas morning or enjoys exchanging white elephant gifts during your celebrations. Traditions are what you want to make them.
Other ideas to create family traditions include:
- Read a book, such as “The Night Before Christmas,” aloud prior to opening Christmas gifts
- Weekly or monthly family movie night
- Have a yearly family talent show
- Create crafts together
- Make candy or prepare meals together
- Have an annual family camping trip
- Have your own family sporting tournament with a traveling trophy to be awarded to the winning family each year
No matter what your family tradition is or what your family chooses to create, just having something for all family members to look forward to each year is important. Traditions help create warm, positive memories that can be recalled fondly and draw family members back to one another year after year.
By Sarah Roth, MSW, LSW
Although the holidays bring much joy and excitement, they are also a very difficult time for families who have experienced loss. Children are no exception. Feelings of grief may increase or present differently as the holiday season approaches.
So, what can we do to help grieving children?
- Understand that everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some may find comfort in talking, reminiscing, and doing things to honor the loss they have experienced. For others, these things may not bring comfort at all. Additionally, grief has no distinct timeline or roadmap. Family members may be at different stages of the grieving process. Remember that each family member’s journey is their own.
- Be honest with your children about your emotional experiences. As parents, we often feel we must shield our children from seeing our emotions so we do not further damage or worry them. While we do need to use discretion about what and how we share with our kids, it is also important that we are honest with them. This is especially important in times of loss. Our children are learning from our behavior. Hiding our feelings from our kids can lead to them feeling isolated and confused, as it may send a message that how they are feeling is abnormal. Demonstrating that it is okay to have feelings surrounding the loss is important and vital to everyone’s healing.
- Check in with your kid about their feelings. In addition to communicating with your child about your feelings, it is also important that you check in with your child about their feelings surrounding the loss. This helps you learn how to help them cope with the many emotions that may surface. It is important to relay the message to your children that even though they may be seeing each family member grieve in different ways, you’re all in this together. Encourage them to come to you if they have questions or feelings they do not know how to manage.
- Allow this year to be different while still providing consistency. There is an inherent change that occurs when loss happens. This is especially true during the holidays. Have an open discussion that traditions may look different than they did prior to the loss. Acknowledge that this is okay. It may provide comfort to all involved as opposed to moving through the holiday season as though nothing has happened. You can say things such as, “This holiday might look different because we don’t have ___ spending it here with us anymore. Is there a new tradition you would like to start or a way we could remember __ as we celebrate this year?” You could also ask, “Is there a tradition that we did with ___ that you would like to make sure we continue to do each year?” Providing a good balance of flexibility while not completely stripping the season of its routine is crucial. Working together to find what works for your family is an important way to ensure you are all providing each other with needed support.
- Know when to reach out to a mental health professional. If your child is struggling intensely during this time, it may be time to reach out for professional help. If you notice drastic changes in your child, seeking professional help may be the next step. Inability to complete daily tasks for a prolonged period, participating in risky/dangerous behaviors, or disconnecting emotionally are a few signs that seeking help may be beneficial. For some families this may only last a short period, but for others more long-term treatment may be necessary. Checking with your child’s school to see if there are mental health professionals in the building is a good place to start. The child’s family physician may also be able to connect your family with other resources to provide additional support.
Youth First, Inc. honored community philanthropists Bob and Judy Griffin at its 2023 Breakfast of Champions event on Tuesday, October 24 at Friedman Park Event Center in Newburgh.
Bob and Judy received the Dr. William Wooten Champions of Youth First Award at the event, sponsored by German American. In addition to recognizing the Griffins, the organization celebrated its donors, school partners, and volunteers with approximately 300 guests in attendance. 2023 marks Youth First’s 25th anniversary which was highlighted at the event as well.
Evansville Mayor Lloyd Winnecke proclaimed October 24, 2023 as “Bob and Judy Griffin, Champions of Youth First Day.”
These role models in business and philanthropy inspire others to invest in children, families, and the future workforce by serving as advocates of Youth First’s mission.
Bob and his business partners built Evansville-based Escalade, Inc. to become a leader in the manufacturing of sports equipment for archery, table tennis, billiards, and more. An Illinois native with degrees from Notre Dame and Northwestern Universities, Bob is also a strong supporter of local higher education institutions, the University of Southern Indiana, and the University of Evansville.
Judy is also devoted to serving others, especially children, so that they reach their full potential no matter their circumstances. An Evansville native, Judy is a graduate of Mater Dei High School and Indiana University and holds a Master’s degree in education from UE. In addition to teaching, she studied art and psychology, ran a popular Newburgh tearoom, and has served on several nonprofit Boards, including Youth First’s.
Bob and Judy are the proud parents of four and grandparents of eleven.
Breakfast of Champions attendees enjoyed remarks from Dan Hoefling, Youth First Board Chair-Elect and President, KOCH Finishing Systems; Very Rev. Alex Zenthoefer, Diocese of Evansville Vicar General; Lindsay Botsch, German American Market President; David Bower, President, USI Foundation; Kevin Hammett, President & CEO, Regency Properties; Sr. Anne Catherine Burleigh, O.P., Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia Vicaress General; Patrick Griffin, son and Vice President, Escalade, Inc., Lauren Kaiser, Youth First Board Chair and Chief Human Resource Officer, Tri-State Orthopaedics; Parri O. Black, Youth First President & CEO; Dr. William Wooten, Youth First Founder, as well as family and friends of the Griffins.
By Youth First Staff, Youth First, Inc.
Red Ribbon Week is the oldest and largest drug use prevention campaign in the nation, reaching millions of young people each year. This event takes place annually from October 23 – October 31. According to Red Ribbon Week’s official website, this event is an ideal way for communities to unite and take a visible stand against drug misuse.
Red Ribbon Week was started when drug traffickers in Mexico City murdered DEA agent Kiki Camarena in 1985. This began the continuing tradition of displaying red ribbons as a symbol of intolerance toward the use of drugs. The mission of the Red Ribbon Campaign is to present a unified and visible commitment towards the creation of a Drug-Free America.
National Family Partnership is the sponsor of this annual celebration. They are helping citizens across the country come together to keep children, families, and communities safe, healthy, and drug-free through parent training, networking, and event sponsorship.
You might ask, “Is Red Ribbon Week effective?” According to Peggy Sapp, President and CEO of National Family Partnership, Red Ribbon Week has endured for over thirty years due to the following factors:
- Red Ribbon Week is an environmental strategy, which means it doesn’t just affect a small group but reaches beyond schools, churches, and other groups into the broader community.
- Red Ribbon Week is designed to be an awareness campaign that gets information to the public about the dangers of drug use.
- Red Ribbon Week facilitates conversations about activities that will help rebuild a sense of community and common purpose.
- Red Ribbon Week helps parents and schools deliver an effective drug prevention curriculum.
- Red Ribbon Week is positive and fun, two things necessary to maintain good mental health.
Schools can benefit from curriculum available on the official Red Ribbon Week website, www.redribbon.org. Incorporating substance use prevention education into daily health/physical education classes is an ideal way to bring awareness to students and promote prevention.
Parents can access the website for great ideas about talking to children of any age about the dangers of substance use. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, “children really hear their parents’ concerns, which is why it’s important that parents discuss the risks of using alcohol and other drugs.”
Drug misuse in this country has reached epidemic stages and it is imperative that visible, unified prevention education efforts by community members be launched to eliminate the demand for drugs. Please join Youth First this Red Ribbon Week as we promote the importance of educating our children, families, and communities about the dangers of substance misuse.
By Valorie Dassel, MSW, LCSW, LCAC, Youth First, Inc.
In the era of social media, we’ve probably all watched a viral video of an adult throwing a temper tantrum in public. Imagine if the people in those videos had the skills to calm themselves down before expressing a reaction.
If they were able express their emotions in a healthy way, imagine how different and more in-control of themselves they’d feel. Imagine how much stronger their relationships could be if they possessed emotional regulation skills.
The benefits of having quality emotional regulation skills are boundless. Being able to regulate emotions allows a person to identify their feelings and choose an appropriate reaction that will not result in negative consequences.
As an adult and a parent, being able to regulate my emotions helps me be the calm in my child’s storm. It’s hard to help someone else regulate when you’re not regulated yourself. For children, having self-regulation skills will allow them to feel more confident, respond better to conflict, and build healthier friendships.
Now we know why these skills are important, how can we learn to consistently model self-regulation skills? First, let’s note that not all emotional dysregulation looks like fit throwing. According to Psych Central, it can also look like crying spells, binge eating, self-harm, and poor frustration tolerance. When we notice these symptoms in ourselves or our children it is important to move in the direction of regaining control of the emotions and responding appropriately.
Becoming dysregulated is a limbic system reaction. Calming yourself with sensory input can be a great first step when feeling dysregulated. Ideas for sensory input include a tight hug, petting a pet, holding ice cubes, or listening to calming music.
Grounding techniques can also be very helpful in bringing a dysregulated person back to the present. Grounding techniques look like identifying things outside of you in the moment (five things you see, four things you hear, three things you feel or touch, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.) Using all five senses can have a quick calming effect.
Once the work has been done to calm the initial reaction, take time to acknowledge what the feeling really is. Maybe it is anger, or maybe it is frustration, jealousy, disappointment, or fear.
The next step is to identify that actions can be taken to move through this moment. If you’re helping your child manage these emotions, you might also have to help them identify the natural consequences that could come with decisions they make.
If you have a child who is struggling with emotional regulation the best place to start is by ensuring you’re modeling healthy regulation skills yourself. It is always okay to seek professional assistance if you feel it is needed for you or your child.
By Abby Betz, MSW, LSW, Youth First, Inc.
Now that our youngest children are back in school, it is time to start thinking about college-aged students returning to campus. We spend lots of time preparing our youngsters for going “back to school,” but what about our college students? Are we preparing our young adults for what lies ahead of them in the real world?
Not only is it important for these students to prepare themselves for the responsibilities of living independently, but it is also important for college-aged students to think about protecting their emotional well-being before they even set foot on campus.
Many college students have thought of the necessities needed for school – computers, mini fridges, parking passes, and other supplies. But have these students and their parents considered what tools they may need to support themselves on an emotional level?
In a 2017 survey by WebMD and the JED Foundation, 40 percent of over 700 guardians and parents said they did not discuss the potential for developing either anxiety or depression with their children getting ready to attend college. Additionally, most parents reported access to on-campus mental health services was not a factor in choosing a school for their child.
Unfortunately, many teenage and college-aged students struggle with their mental health. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 1 in 3 high school students have experienced feelings of persistent sadness or hopelessness.
These problems do not seem to go away once they arrive on campus. Continued studies are showing a decline in mental health across the country among college students. Experts recommend that parents and students take the necessary steps to ensure they have a plan to address mental health issues if they arise.
It is vital for a student with already existing mental health disorders to connect with a counselor prior to arriving on campus. However, it could be beneficial for any student to contact the counseling center and become educated on services provided if needed. It is also important to be aware of other supportive services being offered, such as tutoring, academic advising, student activities, and career services.
Extracurricular activities and clubs also help students connect with others and create a sense of belonging to help combat feelings of loneliness and isolation. Students should also be mindful of how they eat, sleep, and socialize. If basic needs are neglected, this can make developing a healthy lifestyle more difficult and lead to a decline in mental health.
Discussing alcohol consumption and setting healthy boundaries is another important conversation that parents need to have with their college-aged children to help them be mentally prepared for new situations.
The transition from high school to college can be life changing and challenging. Students and parents must work together to create a plan that best fits the needs of each student. This plan should include a mental health checklist to protect the emotional well-being of the student. Prioritizing mental health should be something we all strive to achieve.