The Power of Mindfulness

By Alissa Eastham, Courier & Press, September 22, 2015 –

Racing home after a busy day at work, you may have noticed the runner turning down the street behind you. With the Evansville Half Marathon a little over a month away, many have been out in full force training to run 13.1 miles in October.

I’ve often heard it said that running a race of that distance is “mind over matter.” I’m discovering firsthand how true that can be as I incorporate mindfulness techniques into my increasingly longer runs.

Of course, you don’t have to be a runner to apply mindfulness to your life. Whether you are training for a half marathon or just trying to race through your day, parents and kids alike can benefit from incorporating mindfulness into their daily routines. Meditation and focus on breathing may be what many regard as mindfulness, but that is only one piece. Ultimately, mindfulness is being intentionally present in the moment. The American Psychological Association (APA) describes mindfulness as a state of awareness without judgment — training your attention to develop calmness and clarity.

ABC News recently reported that a study from UCLA found that behavior and test scores improved in second- and third-graders who practiced mindfulness skills twice a week for 30 minutes. Other studies have found greater control of emotions and lower suspension, expulsion, and dropout rates for students practicing mindfulness techniques. The APA also reports a greater sense of control, better memory, and less stress and anxiety for those practicing on a regular basis.

Just as a runner has to build strength and stamina to prepare her muscles for race day, adults and kids alike must practice mindfulness a little each day to reap benefits in moments most needed (i.e. an adult becoming stressed at work, a student experiencing anxiety at school, or a parent and teen getting frustrated with one another at home).

Mindfulness can be practiced virtually anywhere; even taking a moment at a red light to clear your mind can be a simple way to practice.

Meditation and focus on breathing is only one piece of mindfulness, but it’s a great place to start. First, get comfortable. You don’t have to sit in lotus pose on the floor with your legs crossed and palms up; you can sit on the couch or lay in bed.

Next, focus on your breath. Breathe in through your nose. Notice your belly expand, filling with air, as you breathe in. Imagine your breath flowing up and out as you exhale. You may notice the difference in temperature on the tip of your nose as you breathe in and out. Notice any other sensations in your body. When you’re finished, you should feel more relaxed and peaceful.

Some parents choose to practice mindfulness for a few moments in the morning to have a calm start to the day. It can be practiced at any time — folding laundry, making dinner, even washing dishes. The trick is to keep your mind focused. If your mind wanders, acknowledge that you are no longer focused and redirect your thoughts back to the task at hand.

Once you have had some practice, teach your children how to be mindful and practice with them. Mindfulness Coach and Insight Timer are two apps that have an assortment of guided activities to help adults get started or improve their practice. Smiling Mind is an app that teaches children as young as 7 how to practice mindfulness. All of these are available at no cost.

Many other books, apps, and websites are available. Taking the time to be mindful in the midst of a busy life can help you catch your breath, whether you are training for a race or just racing through your day.

 

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Myths & Truths About Marijuana

By Margery Gianopoulos, Courier & Press, Sept. 22, 2015 –

In 1996, the state of California became the first in the U.S. to legalize medical marijuana. Since then, 22 other states have joined California, including Michigan and Illinois. Ohio is considering several marijuana-related initiatives for voters next fall, and if any of them pass, Indiana would be surrounded on three sides by states with some form of legal marijuana use.

The legalization of marijuana is changing the landscape across the country. While surveys indicate that substance use among youths has dropped, the data also shows that more youths perceive marijuana to be less risky than in years past. In other words, a growing number of teens think the occasional use of marijuana is no big deal, and it won’t hurt them. Prevention researchers say as the perception of risk drops, substance use typically increases.

Indiana University’s School of Public Health measures risk factors through the annual Indiana Youth Survey. Most states have this same type of survey. The Indiana Youth Survey measures 30-day substance use, age of first use, perception of peer approval and parental approval, along with risk factors which may increase problem youth behaviors such as substance use, school dropout, violence, pregnancy and behavior health.

The behaviors and attitudes of Warrick County’s sixth- through 12th-grade students mirror the national data. From 2013 to 2014, the number of sixth -raders reporting low perception of risk for marijuana more than tripled.

Clearly, the legalization of marijuana is impacting thinking, and it could soon impact behavior among our youths.

The questions surrounding the issue include: Is medical marijuana a good thing, what research is being done, and what about recreational use? Can pot be addictive? What could be the impact on our children and communities, and how do we separate the truth from the myths?

Warrick County Communities That Care Coalition and Youth First, Inc. held a town hall to a discuss these questions and more during a town hall forum on Sept. 8th.

Former WIKY News Director Randy Wheeler moderated the discussion with a panel that included Dr. Daniel Rusyniak, medical director of the Indiana Poison Center and professor of emergency medicine, Indiana University School of Medicine; Marlin Weisheit, Warrick County commissioner and retired Chandler police chief; Judge Keith Meier, Warrick County Superior Court and Drug Court, retired; Brett Kruse, Warrick County sheriff; Michael Perry, Warrick County prosecutor; Tad Powless, director of special education, Warrick County School Corp.; Davi Stein-Kiley, Youth First director of social work; Kathy Baker, Youth First school social worker, Castle High School; Althea Ingram, Castle High School parent; Kaylynne Glass, Castle High School junior; Alex Hardgrave, Castle High School sophomore.

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Navigating a Girl’s World

By Dena Embrey, Courier & Press, Sept. 1, 2015 – Working as a Youth First Social Worker in an elementary school, I frequently talk to girls who are having friendship problems.

They often report being teased, criticized, excluded or the victim of gossip and rumors. I hear about how they struggle to be included, and they are often confused by the hot and cold treatment they receive from friends.

During one recent conversation with a sixth grader, she said she wished things were easy again like in first grade when no one cared about who was popular.

Author Rosalind Wiseman addresses the new realities of today’s girl world in her book “Queen Bees & Wannabes.” She supports the idea that bullying behaviors typically associated with adolescent girls are occurring at younger ages.

“Queen Bees & Wannabes” helps break down the challenges young girls encounter as they deal with cliques, teasing, gossip and rumors. Wiseman also educates parents and offers advice on how to help girls navigate their social world. Here are a few of Wiseman’s recommendations:

Seek out ways to strengthen your daughter’s self-esteem. Get her involved in activities she enjoys and expose her to different social groups. Teach her what it means to be a true friend. Don’t expect her to like everyone, but do expect her to respect everyone.

Establish yourself as a source of support. Don’t pass judgment or dismiss your daughter’s experiences by telling her, “Just ignore it,” or “You’re better off without them.” Instead, listen respectfully, thank her for telling you, and help her to identify appropriate ways of confronting the problem. Encourage her to be assertive and respectful.

Practice what you preach. One of the best ways to teach your daughter about positive social behavior is through role modeling. Ask yourself if you are engaging in the same behaviors you are trying to teach your daughter. If your answer is no, own up to it and use your mistakes as a teachable moment.

Limit and monitor her use of technology. One of the biggest impacts on today’s girl world is the access children have to technology like cellphones and the Internet. When used unethically, these can be powerful tools in bullying or harassing others. Parents who allow their children access to these tools are also responsible for teaching the safe and ethical way to use them. Parents must also go one step further and monitor use by having access to their child’s password and taking advantage of the controls offered by cellphone/Internet providers.

Remember that parenting is not a popularity contest. You are not meant to be your daughter’s best friend. Setting limits, holding her accountable and teaching her respect for herself and others are all part of your job as a parent. Her anger with you will only be temporary.

As young girls move toward adolescence, it is normal to rely less on parents and more on friends. The relationships a girl has with her friends play a major role in developing her self-image and future patterns of behavior. Despite this, parents should not underestimate the significant role they play in offering guidance and helping develop healthy relationship patterns.

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Homesickness a Normal Part of College Experience

By Ahmad Allaw, College Student Volunteer, Courier & Press, August 25, 2015 –

Not too long ago, I was sitting in the backseat of the family car, my heart beating excitedly, waiting to reach what I hoped would become my home away from home: college. The experience is, quite literally, a momentous occasion. At roughly 18 years old, we, as incoming college students, begin to write our own stories and chart our own paths.

The first few days are as exciting and enriching as expected. We meet new people and explore new places, dine with friends and hear new stories. The independence is both refreshing and empowering.

However, as days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, the initial excitement wanes and the independence becomes a bit daunting. Soon enough, you may find yourself longing for home.

Getting homesick, of course, is to be expected. After all, moving from one place to another, leaving most of your family and friends, and living on your own is no small change.

However, you — the incoming freshman — don’t want that change to turn into anxiety, and for your anxiety to affect your mental or physical health.

After going through the transition myself, I recommend keeping the following in mind to ease any troubles.

It’s important to realize that, although you may be moving hundreds of miles from family, friends, and home, you aren’t severing any ties. Starting a new chapter of your life doesn’t mean you have to forget all the ones previous.

On the contrary, realize that your present doesn’t exist without your past; you reached the place you reached in large part because of the support of family and friends. Just because you aren’t physically with them doesn’t mean they won’t continue helping when you need help.

Moreover, it’s important to remember that you are likely not the only one who will feel homesick. It is a normal feeling. Almost all of the other incoming freshmen will be in the same position.

Finally, you will have the opportunity to meet incredible people in college, and there will be no shortage of those who share the same interests as you. The easiest way to find such people is through extracurricular clubs and involvement.

Spend time looking at the clubs offered at your school, and you would be hard-pressed not to find something that suits your interests. Soon enough, you will find yourself doing the things you love with people whose company you will enjoy, a second family to ease any burden of longing or homesickness. My closest friends now are the same people that I spent so much time working and collaborating with during the club activities.

For me personally, these small strategies proved invaluable. After the first few weeks of college passed and things became a bit more difficult, I found myself calling my family weekly, talking to them even if just for a little bit. Getting added support, feeling as though someone else is invested in your success, makes you feel more comfortable under academic stress in new surroundings.

And if you find yourself needing support beyond what family and friends can provide, most college campuses have counseling centers experienced in helping students deal with feelings of isolation and homesickness. Seek extra help and support if these feelings start to interfere with your ability to cope with the demands of college life.

 

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Getting Back to Your School Routine

By Brooke Skipper, Courier & Press, August 18, 2015 –

It’s August once again, and that means back to school time. Early mornings, structured days, increased activities and mounting homework become your household’s reality.

No matter how many years your child has been in school, transitioning back into the classroom setting can always feel a little chaotic. Minimizing this stress is essential for your entire family’s health and happiness.

Here are some simple yet effective tips to help ease those back-to-school blues.

Be sure your child is in good physical and mental health by scheduling appointments with your family doctor and dentist. Discuss any concerns you have over your child’s emotional development with your pediatrician. Your doctor can help determine if your concerns are age-appropriate issues or require further assessment. Your child will benefit if you can identify and begin addressing a potential issue as soon as it arises.

Establish bedtime and mealtime routines. Routines help reinforce your child’s overall good health. Eating a meal together as a family provides time to reflect on the school day and gauge how your child is coping. If your summer has been largely unstructured, prepare your child for this change by talking about why routines are important.

Familiarize yourself with your child’s teachers as well as other school professionals in the building who can be a resource. This can include the principal and front office personnel; school social worker, psychologist and counselor; the reading specialist, speech therapist and school nurse and coaches and activity coordinators. Youth First Social Workers are available as a resource in over 50 schools in six Southwestern Indiana counties and implement a variety of evidenced- based programs and practices to assist you and your child.

Let your child know you care wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Pay attention to your child’s mood and behavior as school resumes. Make sure to ask open-ended questions about the school day to ensure real communication beyond a “yes” or “no” answer. Praise your child’s effort each day, not the result.

Model positive behavior in your home to increase your child’s healthy coping skills. If there is anxiety about school, reinforce the ability to cope by remaining optimistic and confident in your child. Give your child a few healthy strategies to manage a difficult situation such as talking with someone or journaling.

Remain calm and positive about a new start. Children who have had a difficult time academically or socially or were teased or bullied may be more fearful or reluctant to return to school. Talk about the issues and how things can improve this year. If you have not yet done so, share your child’s concern with the school and confirm that the problem has been addressed. Reassure your child that you and the school are working together to prevent further issues.

Using these strategies in your home can assist your child in feeling more prepared and secure during the return to school. A strong home foundation helps to promote a strong educational foundation. You can directly influence the amount of success your child has at school by promoting a positive attitude, confidence and performance both socially and academically.

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Youth First Social Workers Support Schools

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By Parri O. Black, Courier & Press, August 11, 2015 –

Children, teachers, and other school staff are not the only ones going back to school this month. Youth First Social Workers are also back on the job and ready to assist students, families and educators.

Youth First Social Workers are embedded in over 50 schools in six counties in Southwestern Indiana, and a number of other schools in the Tri-State region also employ their own social workers.

School-based social workers provide a link between home, school, and community to make sure the social and emotional needs of children are met. They help students and their families overcome challenges by connecting them to community resources and developing critical life skills.

Any teacher will tell you that many of their students come to school with issues that create barriers to learning. One child may have basic needs (food, clothing or shelter), and another child may have behavioral concerns (depression, anxiety or substance abuse).

In simple terms, social workers assess needs, develop plans and provide services addressing those needs. Youth First Social Workers are equipped with a tool kit of proven strategies designed to build skills and prevent problems.

For example, they help students learn how to respond to stress using coping skills, how to successfully manage conflicts and solve problems and how to set and complete goals.

School-based social workers also make referrals to community resources; consult and collaborate with educators, parents and service providers and provide immediate assistance in crisis situations.

Anyone can refer a student or family to a Youth First Social Worker. Students can even refer themselves or their friends.

Some of the most common reasons for seeking assistance are depression, anxiety or anger issues, school behaviors, home life or parent/child concerns, peer relationships, divorce or grief adjustment or substance abuse concerns.

The sooner these problems are addressed, the more likely a child will be successful in school and eventually in life. Last year, Youth First Social Workers provided prevention education and skills development for over 17,000 students. Of those, nearly 3,000 received individual or small group support to overcome serious concerns or risky behaviors.

Social workers are another caring adult in a child’s life providing both encouragement and accountability. Whether it’s a simple case of low self-esteem or a complex life-threatening situation, they have the education and expertise to produce positive changes.

As the new academic year begins, please remember that Youth First Social Workers and others are just down the hall in many schools, equipped and eager to support students, families and educators.

To see if Youth First serves your school, visit youthfirstinc.org and go to “Find a Youth First Social Worker” to search by school, county or name.

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Listening to Understand

By Alice Munson, Courier & Press, August 4, 2015 –

I feel fairly sure most of us believe we know how to listen. You may be thinking, “How complicated could it be?”

As a Youth First social worker, I do a lot of listening. As graduate social work students we were introduced to the book, “Active Listening,” by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson, and the term “active listening.” Some graduate students assumed this would be easy because, after all, who doesn’t know how to listen? It was hard to imagine this was a skill we would actually have to learn and practice.

Rogers and Farson define active listening as “listening to and confirming an understanding of what another says as well as the emotions and feelings underlying the message. Goal: to ensure that understanding is accurate so instructions can be directed to the student’s (person’s) actual needs and the student can be encouraged to engage with the material.”

Rogers and Farson state the basics of active listening as:

  • Responding to feelings (nonverbal cues)
  • Listening for total meaning without judgment
  • Feeding back to the speaker what is heard

Whew! Sounds like a major process, doesn’t it? But the truth is most of us are probably doing much of it already.

An anonymous person once said, “Every good conversation starts with good listening.” This is the Cliff Notes version of active listening and says it all. It assumes that good listeners listen attentively.

Isn’t this a skill we teach our young children? Is there a parent alive who has not said, “Please listen” to their young child? Then we often ask for feedback by saying, “What did I just say?”. Eventually we get to the stage where we feel confident our children are actually hearing what we say.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Stephen R. Covey, author of the Seven Habits series: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

I know that when I first read this, I was surprised in the simple truth of that statement, and it has served as a reminder to me to slow down and pay attention when I am feeling rushed. It also helps us re-evaluate our intentions and concentrate on the speaker instead of ourselves. The more we practice the more it becomes a habit. In the words of Marge Piercy, “If you want to be listened to you should put in the time listening.”

One of my favorite quotes is, “The word LISTEN contains the same letters as SILENT,” by Alfred Brendel. The words in this quote can actually do more than increase your chances to score in a game of Words with Friends.

When we listen it is sometimes hard to remain silent. Mentally reviewing our to-do list, thinking about future appointments or planning what to make for dinner can easily intrude into our listening. Often others are aware of our distraction even if we are not. If we cannot clearly hear another’s words, how can we discern what that person is hoping to share with us?

Another favorite quote for social workers and others is from Leo Buscaglia: “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

You may be surprised about what you discover by listening to yourself and others. It’s easier than you think; just try it.

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Vacation Travel With Kids

By Ali Langen, Courier & Press, July 28, 2015 –

Summer brings lots of great things like warm weather, pool time and vacations. We’re heading north to Minnesota this year for our family vacation, a 16-hour car ride.

When it was just my husband and me it was a pretty easy drive. Now that we have a wonderfully active 2-year old, the ride will be a little different. My goal for this trip is to limit screen time (TV shows, movies, games on the phone and iPad) and still keep him entertained.

When planning for the drive, the first thing to consider was our son’s attention span and maturity level. He turned 2 a few months ago, and like most other toddlers, he is very high-energy.

Coloring with crayons and markers typically means he has multiple self-drawn “tattoos”. He does tend to color off the page and onto any surface that looks interesting, so it isn’t practical to do a lot of coloring. We will also stay away from any small objects that could be a choking hazard.

Since we live in age social media, I took to Facebook to ask other parents how they entertain their kids on long drives. The response was great and I got a lot of feedback. Popular suggestions were the classic Etch-a-Sketch, travel tunes and a variety of snacks. Some parents mentioned particular brands such as Melissa & Doug (www.melissaanddoug.com) that carry travel toys and activities for kids of all ages.

While these were all great suggestions, I knew I had to find more travel entertainment for my toddler. My next step was to go back to the drawing board and look up ideas on Pinterest. If you aren’t familiar with Pinterest, you must try this free website that allows users to save — also known as “pin” — inspirational ideas and projects.

After logging in, I typed “toddler entertainment for car ride” in the search bar, and an entire page of creative and easy suggestions popped up. There was even an entire blog post devoted to another mom’s experience from a 16-hour car ride with her toddler and preschooler. Her suggestions included fun window clings and an eye-spy game with handmade binoculars fashioned from recycled paper towel rolls.

In addition to this mom’s blog, there was a surplus of other good suggestions. I considered each, bearing in mind whether or not the idea was age-appropriate and a good fit for my son’s personality and temperament.

Because of the long duration of our trip, we will be making stops so we can get out and stretch our legs. My goal is to plan the drive so we can stop at restaurants that have playgrounds for him to swing and go down the slide. This will help break up the trip and hopefully wear him out while we eat and take breaks.

One of our favorite fast-food restaurants is Chick-fil-A. Their website has an app where you can plan a trip by entering start and end locations, and it will pull up all of the Chick-fil-A restaurants along the way.

The Internet and other parents in your network can be great resources when looking for advice or suggestions. To search for more travel activities, look online or use specific websites like Pinterest. Having plenty of activities to amuse your child will make the time go by much faster.

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Help Children With Reading Skills

By Heather Miller, Courier & Press, July 21, 2015 –

“Why do we have to read every day? It’s summer!” protests my nine-year-old son.

Amid groans and moans, the steadfast rule remains — 20 minutes of reading out loud daily. I grow tired of giving my list of explanations and often want to just give in, but the importance of helping my children learn to read and do well is too important to negotiate.

I like to equate reading time to brushing teeth, a preventive measure to help ensure issues later on in life (like cavities) are less likely to occur. My oldest struggles to be at grade level in reading, making it much more important to me to continue encouraging — and at times insisting — that reading practice happens.

According to the National Institute for Direct Instruction, poor reading performance in children may lead to anxiety, depression, inattentiveness, frustration, anti-social behaviors and even aggression. Furthermore, by secondary grades, most children are aware of their difficulties in reading, thus adding low self-esteem and low motivation to the list of issues that may result from poor reading performance.

The following five ideas may assist parents or caregivers with helping their child(ren) improve reading skills:

Make reading a scheduled part of your family’s day. Placing the same level of importance on reading (to your child as well as having your child read to you) as eating dinner will help ensure reading time is completed daily. After a few weeks, reading time will be simply part of your family’s day without thinking about it.

Many books are now movies. Before watching the movie, have your child read the book if possible. If your child wants to watch the Star Wars movies, check out the large selection of Star Wars books available at local libraries first. Paddington is a great selection for younger children. There are many books about Paddington that can be followed by the movie.

Check out Pinterest for ideas. There are many activities and resources to assist with encouraging literacy during childhood. Simple games such as Candyland can be adapted to teach sight words to school-aged children.

Make receiving a new book a treat. For Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Easter, birthdays or as rewards, pick up a book to give as a gift. There are many books at dollar stores that provide an economical way to promote reading. Helping children associate books and reading with excitement will help engage them in becoming a reader.

Model. In this case, it is important to “practice what you preach.” Allow your children to visibly see you spending time reading. Demonstrate the importance of reading over checking Facebook or watching TV. This will provide legitimacy when you encourage your children to make similar choices.

If you believe your child is struggling to read, contact your child’s teacher to voice any concerns and get ideas on how to help. If you are concerned that your child is having behavioral issues or low self-esteem due to reading concerns, your school’s Youth First Social Worker will be equipped to help you address these issues.

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