Love Yourself this Valentine’s Day

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By Ashley Manship, LSW – February 2, 2022-

Maintaining good mental health during the Valentine’s Day season can be a struggle for some teens and adults, especially for those who may not have a significant other to celebrate the holiday with. It is important for older youth to keep in mind that February 14th can be a day dedicated to loving on your friends, family, and most importantly, yourself.

This is the perfect opportunity to give yourself the proper pampering, love and attention you’d otherwise be giving someone else. So if you’re one of the people out there who is single this year, here are a few things you can do to make the best of Valentine’s Day!

1.     Write yourself a love letter. The most important relationship you can have is the one with yourself. Celebrate you and the progress you have made in your life. Take time to think about the future you imagine for yourself. This is the perfect time to fall in love with yourself and all of your accomplishments and future aspirations!

2.     Take a break from social media. Sometimes seeing other people’s #couplegoals posts on Valentine’s Day might make you feel envious or insecure about your relationship status. Take at least a 24-hour break from scrolling social media, or at least be mindful of your scrolling.

3.    Spread the love! Valentine’s Day isn’t exclusive to romantic love. If you’re not getting flowers this year, give them! This may be somewhat more challenging with lingering COVID restrictions, but get creative with safe ways to accomplish gift-giving. Buy some inexpensive flowers at Walmart or another local store and deliver them to a nursing home, friends, church members, etc. I truly find that nothing feeds the soul like making others smile.

4.     Use this time to connect with your single friends. Plan something special for yourself and your single friends. It can be something as simple as hosting a socially-distant or virtual dinner with others so you can enjoy some laughter among friends. This can help mitigate any negative feelings you might have about the occasion.

5.    Finally, do everything you would do if you were in a relationship! Let’s be real, most dates always end in binge watching Netflix anyway (or at least that’s how it is for me and mine). Make dinner for one, carve out time for your favorite hobby, or prioritize pampering yourself. You don’t need a partner to do that!

Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful day to reflect on the love we feel for the ones most important to us. Act on that love, and remember that the most important people in our lives don’t always have to be our romantic partners.  

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Navigating Friendships

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By Megan LaRue, LSW – January 26, 2022 –

As children develop and learn to be more independent, their focus on family starts to fade and peers become the center of their universe. The need to fit in with a circle outside the home is a major stage of development.

However, when children start to form these groups and their various upbringings come into play, there are bound to be some bumps along the way.

From my own experience working with youth, this connection to peers really starts to take hold around 3rd-4th grade, although it can be different for each child. These years are also when conflicts start to arise and friendships can either be solidified or start to fade away.

Here are a few of my favorite strategies for helping kids work through conflict and develop positive communication skills.

The first obstacle kids may face in working through peer conflict is recognizing the bigger picture. As humans in conflict, kids are likely to assign blame outside of themselves. Although there are situations where someone wrongs us, we have to be open to recognizing our own faults as well.

Teaching children how to examine a situation from all perspectives can help them recognize when they may need to take some responsibility. Asking children questions like, “How do you think that feels?” or “How do you think your friend sees this situation?” can help kids practice this important skill.

Often when kids develop conflict with one friend, they may seek alliance with an uninvolved peer to support them or take their side. Like adults, kids just want to feel heard and understood. Although feeling supported and not alone is helpful, it doesn’t solve the original conflict. This can often be an avoidance strategy that provides temporary relief while not addressing the issue at hand.

Teaching students how to effectively confront the issue with the involved person can help to minimize the damage in the long-run. Key strategies for this include good communication and the ability to share feelings in a positive way. Modeling this behavior and the practice of identifying complicated emotions can help kids have the language to share their experiences.

Along with sharing their own feelings, kids have to learn to receive others’ feelings and be open to maintaining clear boundaries. When someone expresses they’ve been hurt or doesn’t like something that’s happened, this isn’t necessarily a personal attack or an attempt to be hurtful. It is an opportunity to improve the relationship and prevent future conflicts.

Kids don’t need to change who they are because someone doesn’t like it, but they do need to learn to be open to change as they recognize how their actions affect those around them. Being a good listener and having the ability to say, “I hear what you’re saying and I will think about this going forward” can be the best way to make sure everyone feels heard.

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Self-Regulation for Parents

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By Shannon Loehrlein, LCSW – January 19, 2022 –

Being a parent is hard. I can say this is 100 percent true from my own personal experience with a seven-year-old and a two-year-old. Parenting is a job that offers no pay, little appreciation, and no time off. It’s a 24/7 job. Who in their right mind would apply to that job, right? 

Parenting in 2022 comes with an extra set of challenges. The seemingly never-ending COVID pandemic has put intense pressure on parents and families. The Kaiser Family Foundation, a non-profit organization that focuses on health issues in the United States, has been studying mental health related changes due to the COVID pandemic. They found that in 2019, the average number of adults reporting anxiety and depression was 11 percent. By January of 2021, that number rose to 41.1 percent. 

Parents play an important role, because children look to their parents for emotional regulation and safety during difficult times. It’s crucial for parents to be able to regulate their own emotions in order to also regulate their children.

Here are some simple tips to help parents regulate themselves.

1.     Take time for yourself. It’s important for parents to have time away from their children. Some people enjoy alone time and others enjoy spending time with other adults. Do what replenishes you and carve out time each day, even if only 10 minutes.

2.     Prioritize transition times. Have you ever noticed that your own kids act out the most during transition times (bedtime, end of playtime, coming home from school etc.)?  It’s because transitioning from one task to the next can overstimulate the brain. Adults have difficulty with this too. A good way to help with this transition is to doing something you enjoy during the transition. For example, I personally like listening to audiobooks or podcasts during my commute from home to school. I’ve noticed my kids need this time to decompress too. Make a family rule that for the first 30 minutes home from work/school, everyone has “calm time” alone.

3.     Try breathing techniques. Breathing exercises and meditation can reset the brain when you’re feeling overwhelmed. The main focus on breathing is to hold your breath between inhale and exhale and try to exhale longer than you inhale. This type of breathing helps with your parasympathetic nervous system. You can find many examples of breathing exercises on YouTube and different mindfulness apps. 

4.     Spend time having fun. Many times as parents we move from one task to the next, never really finding time to enjoy our day. Make sure you and your kids spend time having fun each day. You could read a book, play outside, have family game night, or watch a movie together. Having these types of experiences also promotes healthy bonding with your children. 

5.     Exercise. Exercise is really important in managing stress and decreasing anxiety and depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise can make a statistically significant difference in improving anxiety and depressive symptoms by releasing “feel-good endorphins” in your brain. Any exercise is good exercise, just go at your own pace. 

Remember, this pandemic has been difficult for everyone around the world. It’s okay to have times when you feel overwhelmed. If you don’t feel that self-care is enough for you, it’s okay to seek help from a professional. Now many mental health providers offer virtual sessions, removing barriers to access care. Remember, we are all in this together!

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Ring in the New Year with Self-Care

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By Camryn Cater, MSW – January 14, 2022 –

When traveling by plane, we have all heard flight attendants tell us that in an emergency you should put an oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on your child. This is to ensure the adult’s safety so they can take care of the child accompanying them.

Parents tend to instinctively place their child’s well-being before their own. But what happens when a parent does not take care of themselves first?

Stress is an emotional response to the demands of life such as bills, school, work, taking care of children, and all the additional curve balls that life throws our way. Stress affects everyone differently, and it’s important to remember that not all stress is bad. However, long term stress can negatively affect your health as well as the health of your children.

The number one stress-related mental health diagnosis is anxiety. Parental stress causes increased behavioral issues in children and can lead to poor performance in school. It can also result in children using less expressive language, having poor social skills, experiencing more mental health struggles, and having a harder time coping with change.

During my time as a Youth First Social Worker, I have noticed that the behaviors of parents and guardians struggling with large amounts of stress are often mirrored by their children. For example, when parents are experiencing depression or undergoing tough times, their children may experience lack of motivation in school, poor grades, and often appear more tired. Some parents experiencing anxiety have children with anxious behaviors such as lack of control over emotions, lack of sleep, and frequent stomach aches.

Understanding your stressors and prioritizing self-care can help create a better environment and healthy lifestyle for you and your child. Practicing and teaching your child effective self-care is very important as they grow and mature throughout their life. Children absorb and learn from your habits.

Parents and guardians can help their child overcome stress by modeling positive habits. Examples of self-care include exercising, taking a longer shower, finding a new hobby, prioritizing sleep, replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk, and reaching out for support if necessary.

Help your child identify their emotions and let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do. This allows them to learn healthy ways to react to those emotions when they arise. Topics children find stressful may seem trivial when compared to our adult stressors, but acknowledging a child’s stress is important for the child to feel heard and understood.

In the happiest of our childhood memories, our parents were happy too! Putting yourself first as a parent is not as selfish as it sounds. Committing to habits of self-care can create a better well-being for yourself and a positive future for your child.

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Coping with a Cancer Diagnosis

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By Katherine Baker, LCSW, LCAC – January 6, 2022 –

During my time as a Youth First Social Worker, I have worked with many students impacted by cancer. This school year has been no exception, as I was diagnosed with breast cancer myself in July 2021. Here are a few ideas you may find helpful when coping with a cancer diagnosis.

When first learning about a cancer diagnosis, you may be scared and confused. After the initial shock has worn off, start reading and asking questions. There are many educational books and articles available to help you understand the type of cancer you or a loved one is facing. There are support groups in the community that can help as well. Check them out!

When going to doctor appointments, take another person with you who can assist with taking notes and asking questions. The person with cancer can be overwhelmed at times, so having someone else there for support is important. Bring a notebook and pen with questions you have thought of.

I began keeping a daily/monthly calendar of all doctor appointments and tests. It has been a good way for me to look back to check dates for billing purposes. I also use the calendar as a journal where I record how I feel on chemo days, as some days are better than others.

Keep in mind that some people may not be sure how to react to someone else’s cancer diagnosis. I told my Youth First supervisors, as well as school administrators and my co-workers, about my diagnosis at the start of the school year. I wanted them to be aware of what I would be going through, especially as I knew I would be losing my hair.

I met with students individually to determine if they would be okay working with me. Some of them had parents or family members with cancer, and I did not want to cause additional trauma or stress. Most were receptive, and some check on me as much as I check on them.

Develop a support system that includes family, friends, church community members, neighbors, peers, and co-workers. You will have your oncologist and other medical support staff guiding you through treatment, but having the support of loved ones is just as important.

I can’t do it all on my own, so I find it comforting to have others support me physically, mentally, and spiritually. While going through chemotherapy, my co-workers made goody bags on a regular basis filled with items such as Chapstick, hand and body lotion, puzzle books, snacks, etc. Cards of encouragement are always welcome; everyone loves getting mail!  

Finally, if you know someone with cancer, ask them how you can help. It could be just listening to them, sharing a meal, helping with transportation to appointments, going on walks together, or even helping with housework. Most importantly, be flexible and patient with someone going through their cancer journey.

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D-Patrick Ford Donate and Drive Event – January 2022

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Drive a brand new Ford and give back to Youth First! During the month of January, D-Patrick’s Evansville Ford Dealership will donate $10 to Youth First for every test drive. Visit their Evansville Ford Dealership online! Please set a date this month and invite the family to test drive for Youth First!

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Smoothing Transitions for Your Child

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By Kelly McClarnon, LCSW – December 29, 2021 –

Christmas break is underway! As a Youth First Social Worker, I have met with several students who have difficulty transitioning back to the classroom after weekends and school breaks. My observation is that many of these kids also struggle with feelings of anxiety.

The pandemic has caused many children to complete schoolwork from home due to school closures, quarantines, and parental choice to avoid exposure to the virus. Spending long periods of time at home in a more relaxed environment is much different than a structured school setting with increased rules and expectations. At school, increased peer interaction can amplify these feelings of anxiousness in some children. 

Below is a list of things parents can do when their child is having difficulty transitioning back to school:

  1. Have a consistent routine at home. Children thrive on routine. Making sure they know what’s coming next can help kids feel more secure and make transitions smoother.
  • Make sure your child gets plenty of rest. When children feel tired, transitions can become more difficult. Being rested is essential to optimal school functioning and improved mood and mental health.
  • Talk with them in the car on the way to school or before they leave. Ask them how they are feeling. Try to avoid leading questions like, “Are you anxious about going to school today?” Instead, try saying, “How are you feeling today?” This gives them the opportunity to identify how they are feeling and process those feelings prior to arriving.
  • Try listening to uplifting music, talking, or praying to distract them from negative thoughts. If your child rides the bus, allow them to take a journal with positive messages they can read on the way to school. 
  • Reassure your child that it’s not actually the situation (school) that’s causing them to feel scared, nervous, or anxious – it’s the thoughts they have about it. 
  • Sometimes kids have legitimate reasons to want to avoid going to school such as problems with other peers, mental health concerns, and learning disabilities/academic struggles that make it difficult for them to keep up in school. Addressing these issues can lessen a child’s fears by knowing they have the necessary supports to help them succeed.
  • Do not allow them to stay home from school even if they are having a difficult morning. This will only reinforce that avoiding school is acceptable when feeling upset and will make it even more difficult for them to go the next time school is in session.
  • Praise your child when they transition to school successfully. Encourage them that facing their fears will actually reduce their anxiety in the long run. Teach them that uncomfortable feelings and emotions will pass.

Some difficulty with transitions is completely normal. It’s even hard for adults to go back to work after some time off. However, if you are having continual issues with your student transitioning to school, contact the school social worker. They are there to help identify why your child is struggling and will help you address this difficulty.

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Children, Grief and the Holidays

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By Sarah Audu, LSW – December 22, 2021 –

Grief is often viewed as a sensitive subject, for obvious reasons. It is something we tend to maneuver around with caution. This is likely because each person experiences some form of grief in their lifetime, and we as humans are empathetic towards each other.

We want to handle each other’s struggles and emotions with care. An even more fragile subject to consider is the grief of a child. It is our human nature to want to be gentle and cautious when helping a child who is experiencing something difficult in their life. This can lead to us being hesitant for fear of saying the wrong thing as we try to support them.

Losing a loved one is not the only form of grief a child may experience. Grief can be the emotional result of many scenarios, such as a child’s parents getting a divorce or a best friend moving away. These difficult situations produce hard emotions for the child, because they are experiencing change, pain, and loss. When a child experiences these changes, he/she must learn to cope in the the best ways they know how.

The holiday season is supposed to be a joyous time for all. However, many people dread this time of year due to the pain and grief they are feeling inside. One child may be struggling this holiday season because this is the first year her family will be celebrating Christmas without her father, who suddenly passed away. Another child may be trying to cope with their mother living across the country, confused and unsure when they will get to see mom again.

Every person deals with grief, pain, and loss differently. Experiencing depression, anxiety, and sadness is often viewed as the “normal” emotional reaction to grief. However, some people may state they feel alright most of the time. It may be more healing and beneficial for them to go through their daily routine as they did before, and deal with the painful stings of grief as they arise.

Children are very resilient. They are commonly much stronger than we imagine them to be, especially while facing a challenging situation that has caused them emotional pain. Something we can do to ease the pain of grieving children during the holidays is to follow their lead in conversation and pay close attention to how they are handling their emotions. They may surprise you and show exactly what they need from you in that moment.

Some children may want to deal with their grief in this season by continuing with past traditions and including their loved ones in a new way. Children may also want to start different traditions and create new memories.

What we know for sure is that children have big hearts, and this season gives us a wonderful opportunity to hold them a little closer and give them the support they need during challenging times.

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Holiday Gratitude and Giving are Good for Your Mental Health

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By Julie Hoon, Vice President of Philanthropy – December 16, 2021 –

The busy holiday season brings many priorities, and our mental health does not always earn a spot at the top of the list. However, gratitude and giving can have a direct link to improved health, increased happiness, and infinite joy…especially this time of year.

As a fundraiser for Youth First, I hear story after story about the joy that comes from giving. Our donors experience feelings of connectedness, wellness, and life satisfaction when they make a donation to Youth First, because they are giving to a cause they care about. They are helping kids thrive and positively impacting the future of their community.

In fact, gratitude and giving are contagious, as I was recently reminded by Youth First donors James and Diane VanCleave. James and Diane have a heartfelt Christmas gift for one another that impacts kids and avoids the hectic hustle and bustle of the holiday rush: they each make a donation to Youth First in honor of their spouse.

“There was nothing material we could give each other that we didn’t have,” says Diane about their Christmas ritual, “so one year, James said he was making a donation to Youth First for Christmas on my behalf. I immediately said that I would like to do the same.” Years later, their gifts to Youth First have become a holiday tradition. James makes the first donation in honor of Diane, and then Diane makes her donation in honor of James.

James, an Evansville Police Department officer who worked as a school liaison officer for the Evansville Vanderburgh School Corporation after retirement, says he saw firsthand the value of Youth First Social Workers as an intervention for students to talk to rather than a police officer getting involved. Diane, a social worker who worked with Youth First founder Dr. Bill Wooten at the Mulberry Center early in her career, says social workers and teachers are making a change for kids and influencing lives. She says, “It just makes sense to support this work.”

Gratitude and giving can cause delightful spillover effects. When donating to a cause you love, you might see the ripple effect in your life from family, to friends, to work, and to yourself. Giving brings about a sense of gratitude for what we’ve been blessed with, along with happiness and joy in knowing you are helping others. Studies highlight an association with well-being and gratitude, resulting in fewer doctor’s visits, taking better care of self, and improved relationships. With giving, many people experience greater satisfaction in life, reduced stress, and a healthier outlook in general, both physically and mentally. 

Perhaps this season your holiday list may include giving to a charity you love? If so, I can assure you that joy and happiness will follow. Our community thrives and so does your mental health. James and Diane certainly agree that their Christmas gifts of giving to Youth First are a natural extension from their hearts to give back to their community. “Plus, it’s the perfect gift,” adds James. “It always fits and you will never have to return it!” 

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Community Foundation of Morgan County Awards $10,000 to Youth First

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A $10,000 grant award was presented to Youth First, Inc. by The Community Foundation of Morgan County on Tuesday, December 7. The grant will allow continued support for students at Bell Intermediate Academy in Martinsville and Paul Hadley Middle School in Mooresville. Youth First partners with 105 schools across 12 Indiana counties to embed skilled social workers in school buildings, where they become specialized mentors for students and prevention coaches for parents and teachers. Youth First Social Workers build caring relationships, foster readiness for positive change, and boost resiliency along with other valuable life skills.

Research shows these protective factors are the keys to preventing addiction, suicide, violence, and similar outcomes for young people. The organization’s positive outcomes are driving growth, with more schools seeking Youth First’s help to address the mental health needs of students and best equip them for success.

Ryan Setterlof, Principal of Bell Intermediate Academy says, “Our Youth First Social Worker has really made connections with our students and their families to meet their needs. It’s a huge support system, for not only our students, but for the families and our staff as well. We’re very thankful to have Youth First in our building.” 


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