Tag Archive for: Social Worker Articles

How to Talk to Children About Their Friends’ Mental Health

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By Britney Wagler, MSW, LCSW – Dec. 11, 2025 –

Our children often look to us for answers. Sometimes, when it comes to mental health, we don’t know what to say or how to support them.

According to the 2024 KIDS COUNT Data Book, 35.7% of students in 7th-12th grade reported that in the past year, they felt so sad or hopeless for two or more weeks in a row that they stopped participating in their usual activities.

Additionally, 17.2% reported that in the past year they seriously considered attempting suicide, and 12.8% reported that in the past year they made a suicide plan.

If your child is not directly affected by mental health issues, one of their friends or someone they know likely is. Mental health is a tough topic to talk about; however, the more we talk about it, the easier it becomes. When a friend is struggling, your child may feel confused, helpless, or even guilty. They may not know what to say to their friend and may look to you for help.

What can you say to your child to help support their friend? First, normalize mental health issues. Talking about mental health with your child can better educate them and provide them with important information. If you don’t know the answers, look up information from a reputable source together. Mental Health America (MHA) and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) are great resources.

Second, remind your child that their friend is still their friend. Just like your child wouldn’t stop being a friend to someone diagnosed with diabetes, your child shouldn’t stop being friends with someone who has a mental health diagnosis. Remind your child that their friend is still the same person they were before. They should continue to include them in all activities and plans.

Third, encourage your child to check in on their friend. Give your child permission to come to you with any concerns they may have about their friend. Remind them that if anyone talks about suicide or self-harm, they should tell their parents or another trusted adult. Remember that a mental health disorder is not contagious. Your child will not “catch it” from someone else.

Lastly, if your child’s friend does attempt to harm themselves in any way, remind your child that it is not their fault. It’s ok to be sad and scared about what happened, but they are not responsible for anyone else’s actions, only their own. Comfort them and extend that compassion to their friend. Children watch how you react and respond to crises. You set the tone on how they handle mental health issues with others in the future.

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, please contact 988 for the local Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or 911 for emergency responders.

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From a Pen to a Boat: How a Local High School Senior Raised $2,000 for Youth First

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By Julie Hoon, VP of Marketing & Communications – December 4, 2025 –

Eighteen-year-old high school senior Wesley never expected that starting with a simple pen would lead to a $2,600 donation to Youth First. After launching a 72-hour challenge on his YouTube channel, he selected Youth First as the recipient of whatever funds he could raise through a creative trading mission. His effort quickly gained the attention of his family, friends, and his Youth First Mental Health Professional at Castle High School, Chasidy Lambert.

“He’s a student with a vision!” Lambert said. “I don’t know many people who could turn a pen into a boat… just by asking! I’m so proud of the growth I’ve seen in him. He’s made big steps in connecting with people and in his demeanor and responsibilities. He pushes himself to maintain a healthier mindset and form healthy relationships. Seeing him use his skills to achieve a fundraiser like this for Youth First is amazing.”

Wesley started his YouTube channel as a way to push himself beyond his social anxiety. Wanting to use the platform for something positive, he came up with the idea of trading a pen up to a high-value item, then donating the proceeds to a local nonprofit. To hold himself accountable, he set a 72-hour limit and created the challenge: “72-Hours to Trade a Pen for Charity.” With a friend filming, he committed to three days of trading, ending with whatever item he secured at the final deadline.

On day one, Wesley made his first trade when a couple swapped his pen for a Mother’s Day decoration. That small success fueled a huge second trade: a propane grill. Although the ignitor didn’t work, the grill could still be lit manually.

Day two brought another surprising turn. An individual offered to trade a subwoofer and amplifier for the grill. By the end of the day, Wesley and his friend decided to broaden their reach, posting the available items on Facebook Marketplace and Snapchat. Their social media outreach paid off; by day three, Wesley received an offer to trade the subwoofer and amplifier for a 12-foot jon boat—a flat-bottomed, lightweight fishing boat. After securing a truck to transport it, the trade was finalized.

Later that same day, Wesley found a buyer for the boat and announced that his chosen charity was Youth First. When the buyer learned the proceeds were being donated, he increased his offer to $1,500. Additional contributions from family and friends who followed the challenge brought Wesley’s total donation to an impressive $2,600.

“I’ve never seen anything like this!” said Julie Hoon, Youth First’s Vice President of Marketing & Communications. “Our donors are incredible and come in all ages and stages of life, but not many can say they turned a pen into $2,000. Wesley’s heart is big, and I’m so impressed with his charitable mindset. I hope he motivates other young people to see how one idea can support a mission and make a substantial impact.”

When asked why he chose Youth First, Wesley explained, “Other people need this money more than me. I wanted it to go to an organization that has helped me, and that’s Youth First. I want to make sure they’re always able to help students.”

If you are inspired by Wesley’s story and would like to consider a donation to Youth First this holiday season, please visit our website at youthfirstinc.org/donate. Write “Wesley’s Story” in the comment box.

To visit Wesley’s YouTube channel, Fever-R, and watch this story, click here: I Turned a Pen Into $2000 for Charity.

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How to Respond When Children Lie

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By Lizzie Raben, MSW, LSW – November 19, 2025 –

It can be so difficult to understand why teenagers – or children of any age – lie to us. Sometimes the lies feel especially frustrating because they seem so small or unnecessary, leaving us wondering why they weren’t simply honest in the first place.

Why do children lie – and how should we respond when they do? Most kids experiment with lying at some point, whether to fit in, avoid trouble, or even protect someone else. Because lying is a common part of childhood development, it’s important for parents to understand why it happens and how to address it in a calm, effective way.

The most important thing to remember in these moments is to stay calm.  Being lied to can naturally trigger anger, making it harder to keep our composure. But maintaining calm helps strengthen future parent–child interactions. When we can talk with our child calmly about why lying is wrong, what the real issue is, and how to respond appropriately, we show them that they can come to us with any problem. We also model that honesty leads to open, steady communication—and that when they tell the truth, we will listen and help them work through challenges.

Lying can create distance and deepen a child’s sense of loneliness. When children realize they don’t have to hide things from us, they often feel a sense of relief, knowing we can work through challenges together. This doesn’t mean discipline isn’t necessary – guidance and boundaries are still essential. While children need calm support, they also rely on consistent discipline to help them grow and learn. 

If your child lied about where they were going after school, for example, an appropriate consequence might be requiring them to come straight home the next day. Explain that the privilege was lost because trust was broken and reassure them that trust can be rebuilt. Be specific about what they can do to earn that privilege back so they understand the path forward.
 
After our children have lied and damaged our trust, how do we move forward? Here are some things you can do:

  1. Continue to offer them love. They made a mistake, but even adults make mistakes every day.
  1. Continue to model open and honest communication for your child. This is how they learn!
  1. Lastly, as your child works to rebuild trust, show them that their efforts matter by gradually giving them more space. When teens feel trusted, they’re less likely to hide things and more willing to open up. Ultimately, we want our children to know that even when they make mistakes, we still love them and are willing to forgive. Holding them to high standards is important, but those expectations should feel achievable—not overwhelming.
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The Importance of Family Traditions

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By Jordyn Bryant, MSW, LSW – November 12, 2025 –

In today’s busy world, families are often pulled in many directions with work, school, sports, and endless to-do lists. It’s easy to feel disconnected from one another, even while living under the same roof. One powerful way to strengthen connection and support mental well-being is through family traditions.

Family traditions are more than just routines. While routines are about efficiency and getting things done, traditions carry emotional meaning. They are recurring activities that foster a sense of belonging and stability, such as bedtime stories, Saturday morning pancakes, or weekly movie nights. These shared practices bond the family and send a message, “We are in this together.”    Even the smallest traditions, like a goodnight phrase or a special handshake, can become treasured symbols of family love and unity.

Research shows that traditions benefit mental health in several ways. They provide comfort and predictability, which helps children feel secure in an unpredictable world. They strengthen relationships by giving families regular opportunities to connect, laugh, and share joy. Traditions also create a sense of identity and resilience, reminding children that they are part of something larger than themselves. For parents, traditions can reduce stress by offering intentional pauses from the rush of daily life and opportunities to slow down together.

The best part is that traditions don’t need to be complicated or time-consuming. A gratitude check-in at dinner, reading a book together before bed, or a Sunday walk can all serve as powerful anchors. What matters most is consistency and the emotional connection attached to the tradition, not perfection. Families don’t need to compare their traditions to others; what matters is finding practices that feel natural and meaningful in your own home.

If your family doesn’t have many traditions yet, start small. Choose one activity you can realistically commit to and invite your children to help shape it. When kids take part in creating a tradition, they feel a sense of ownership and pride. Over time, these simple practices can become cherished memories and lasting sources of comfort. In moments of stress or uncertainty, it is often the smallest traditions that children remember most, the ones that remind them they are loved, secure, and connected.

Family traditions are powerful, not because they are elaborate, but because they are consistent, meaningful, and shared. In a fast-paced world, they serve as reminders to slow down, connect, and celebrate being together. Those moments of connection are not just pleasant; they are essential to the mental health and well-being of both children and parents.

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Guiding Your Child Through the Journey of Loss

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By Hailey Hagan, MSW, LSW – November 6, 2025 –

Coping with a loss can be challenging for anyone, but helping children navigate the complex emotions that come with grief is particularly daunting. If you are a parent or caregiver, it is challenging to see the little ones you love in pain.

Here are some gentle ways to support your child during a time of grief:

  1. Foster Open Communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings openly. Encourage them to share memories and feelings, and assure them it’s okay to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to confusion.
  1. Share Stories and Memories: Celebrate the life of the person or pet they lost by sharing fond memories and stories. Reminiscing about happy times can bring comfort and help your child remember the positive impact their loved one had on their life.
  1. Validate Their Feelings: Let your child know that their feelings are valid and normal. They need to understand that grief takes different forms, and everyone processes in their own way and on their own timetable.
  1. Maintain Routine and Stability at Home: In times of loss, routine can provide a sense of stability and comfort for children. Stick to familiar schedules and activities to create a reassuring environment for your child.
  1. Encourage Healthy Coping Skills: Assist your child in finding healthy ways to express their grief. This could include using art or play as a vehicle for expressing hard and painful emotions. Other healthy ways of coping might include spending time in nature and engaging in shared family activities.
  1. Seek Professional Support if Needed: If your child is struggling to cope with the loss, consider seeking professional help. You can reach out to your school’s Youth First Mental Health Professional or your child’s family physician for additional support and resources.

Helping a child cope with loss is an ongoing journey. By providing love, understanding, and the necessary tools to express their emotions, you can help your child navigate the path to healing with resilience and strength.

Youth First is offering Camp Memories, a free bereavement program for children ages 6-18 who have experienced the death of a family member or loved one, on Saturday, November 22. Please contact Heather Miller (hmiller@youthfirstinc.org) for more information.

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Letting Go of Perfectionism

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By Niki Walls, MSW, LSW – October 29, 2025 –

When’s the last time you tried something new without worrying about whether you would be good at it? As children, we would happily play and try something new; we were not consumed with thoughts of failure. However, as adults, we often avoid hobbies unless we believe we can master them.

At what point in our lives does this change-up happen? How can we be successful role models to students, expect them to improve, and not add to the pressure of perfectionism? 

We live in a society that thrives on performance, productivity, and perfection. This can be harmful when dealing with children. Students often feel pressured to be perfect at everything they do. If they are unsure if they will be good at something, they may avoid it altogether. The way society has made “good enough” seem like “not enough” will often push students to the point of not trying at all.

The message students need to hear is that they do not have to be perfect, or even good, at something to help them grow. Even without perfection, a hobby, physical activity, or passion can greatly support a student’s mental well-being. The fear of failure is holding many students back from reaching their full potential. Studies show that trying new activities boosts creativity, lowers stress, and even helps build resilience. 

When students only do what they are already good at, they may miss out on experiences that could bring them new joy, diverse friendships, and valuable life skills. When students try something new without the added pressure of being perfect, they can build resiliency, boost their confidence, encourage creativity, and have a positive outlet for stress. It also takes the pressure off for them to feel like they must perform well to be worthy of love or attention. Children need to learn the art of normalizing mistakes, not fearing them, while also shifting their brain from fight-or-flight to a state of calm. 

As adults, we can encourage this mindset by praising their effort over the mastery or perfectionism. Teachers and parents can also model imperfection. Try something new, give yourself grace when you fail, and laugh it off when things do not go as planned. This will model just how safe it is to take risks without fear of embarrassment.  

Growing up can be stressful and full of pressure for students, but not everything has to be about perfect grades, scores, or achievement. Encourage students to “fail” so they can explore who they really are while discovering new passions and building confidence. When we let go of being perfect at something, we permit ourselves to enjoy it. That joy can be a surprisingly powerful tool for our mental health. Maybe the shift starts by picking one thing you can do “badly” on purpose. Not only will it lighten your mood, but you might just have more fun than you have had in a long time. 

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Raising Confident, Independent Kids

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By Ashley Underwood, MSW, LCSW – October 22, 2025 –

Allowing your child to have independence and responsibility can be challenging. It’s difficult for some parents and guardians to acknowledge that their little ones are growing up. Just a small amount of ownership and responsibility, however, can have a big impact on your child’s development. Independence builds self-confidence, helps prepare them to complete tasks on their own in the future, and has benefits for parents as well.  

Your child’s independence will grow as they complete simple tasks. Easy tasks are best for little ones. A common example of building independence in your young child might include asking them to put their backpack and lunchbox away after they get home from school. Older children may be given the responsibility of preparing their backpack for school in the morning and hanging it up properly when they return home. While taking care of a backpack may seem like a small task, it promotes responsibility and independence.

Another way to foster independence is by allowing children to make choices. The decision can be as simple as, “Do you want to wear your Spider-Man pajamas or your Mickey Mouse pajamas to bed?” or “Would you like apples or strawberries with your sandwich?” There are countless opportunities for building independence. In the morning, let them choose their hairstyle for school or which socks they want to wear. In the evening, ask them to complete a small task such as setting the table for dinner or choosing which book they’d like to read before bed.

Making simple decisions such as this builds independence and responsibility while also developing problem-solving and decision-making skills.  

Along with completing tasks and making decisions, there are other ways you can build your child’s independence. Being consistent with a specific routine or schedule allows children to grow in this area. Consistency helps a child know what to expect each day and what will happen next. An inconsistent routine can cause confusion, create struggles, and potentially cause reactions such as a tantrum or outburst.  

Taking a step back as a parent also promotes independence in your child. Of course, parental supervision is important, and the child’s safety should always come first. It’s essential to be present while still allowing your child to explore their independence. Mistakes are inevitable, but they help both children and adults learn more about themselves, others, and the world.  

Independence should be a daily part of a child’s life. You may find that some tasks your child helps with take additional time, but they will be thrilled when they are allowed to help. Their confidence will grow with each little step they take toward independence. 

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Assisting Your Anxious Teen

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By Angel Wagner, MSW, LCSW – October 15, 2025 –

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that many people deal with. We all experience various levels of anxiety, often characterized by worry, fear and nervousness. Symptoms can range from visible shaking, agitation, and explosiveness to complete shutdown.

Anxiety affects children and teens as well as adults. For example, for many teenagers, starting high school can be a very stressful experience. Everything is new and rushed, and students have homework, extracurricular activities, and many things to do in a short amount of time, increasing their anxiety.

If your child suffers from anxiety, below are some tips and tricks to help. 

Grounding, not Grounded

Grounding exercises are a physical or verbal interaction used to remove oneself from an anxiety-inducing moment. Grounding centers the person, allowing them to focus on the task at hand, rather than the symptoms caused by the triggering event. Think about placing horse blinders on yourself. You can ignore the chaos around you and stay focused on one thing. Grounding exercises may include counting the number of objects of a certain color in a room, rubbing circles or tapping on your hand, or counting. 

Breathe, Darling, Breathe 

Breathing exercises are also a form of physical grounding. They can help calm the body and prevent hyperventilating or holding breath. There are many breathing exercises you can try to determine which works best. A go-to is box breathing. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four and finally, hold again for four. Another popular breathing method is the four – seven – eight method. Breathe in for four, hold for seven and breathe out for eight. Similar to the horse blinders analogy, the focus point is narrowed to your breathing with these exercises.

A Mama Mantra 

A mantra is a repeated sound or phrase often used in meditation. Meditation is a great relaxation technique if you’ve had an anxiety-filled day. Think of the “ohm” sound often used by monks. A mantra can be a phrase repeated by your child when they feel their anxiety rise. Repeating “It’s okay,” “Live and let live,” or “This too will pass” are a few examples. A silly favorite of mine is “Goosefaba.” Try saying that without a smile emerging. Repeating a mantra, again, shifts your focus from everything around and inside of you to a familiar catch phrase.  

Many different things can spark someone’s anxiety at any time throughout their day. For example, high school students often experience stressful situations, whether it’s new classes, tests, peer situations, life at home or romantic relationship issues.

The next time your child is struggling, have them practice one of the grounding, breathing, or counting exercises mentioned above. And don’t forget about mantras to get your child through stressful moments. With proper management, teens can reduce their anxiety symptoms and significantly improve their quality of life.  

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The Importance of Labeling Emotions

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By Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW- September 8, 2025 –

One of the hardest things for a parent is to see their child struggle and not have the power to “fix” it. We all want happy, healthy children. In order to achieve that, however, we must allow kids to experience and understand a whole range of emotions.

When children learn that all emotions are acceptable and a normal part of human life, they can begin to cope with those emotions in healthy and positive ways. This helps them build empathy, resilience, and more positive self-esteem. When we talk openly with children about their emotions, we also teach them that we are a supportive, safe space, regardless of what they are experiencing.

Here are some simple ways to support your child’s emotion identification skills:

  1. Talk about emotions daily. Make it a habit to check in with your child about how they are feeling, and then really listen to what they have to say. Don’t rush to resolve or soothe their feelings. Be a safe support before you offer to help with solutions.
  2. Recognize your child’s emotions and respond with compassion. Again, it is easy to offer reassurance, but this may come off as dismissive to your child. If they tell you they are scared and you respond with, “There’s nothing to be scared of,” you are not hearing them as they express their emotions. One of the easiest ways to respond with compassion is by repeating your child’s emotion back to them. “I can see you are feeling sad. Do you want to talk about it?”
  3. Model, model, model. The best thing we can do as parents is to demonstrate healthy ways to respond to emotions. Kids learn by observing the world around them. When we continually show our children that hard emotions can be handled in positive ways, they will follow suit.
  4. Help your child develop a range of tools to use when coping with difficult emotions. There is no “one-size-fits-all” solution for emotional regulation. If deep breaths work for one person, they may not work for the next. Some skills can be used at home but not in a classroom. Brainstorm several different strategies for your child to have available.
  5. Ask your child to identify emotions in others, as well. As your child learns to recognize their own feelings, help them recognize feelings in those around them. What does a sad, happy, scared face look like? How can you tell your friend is angry? This helps build empathy and an understanding of how to support the emotions of others in a healthy way.
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