Tag Archive for: Youth First Mental Health Professional

Kids Need Boundaries

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By Audrey Angermeier, MSW, LSW – September 24, 2025 –

As any parent or guardian knows, setting boundaries with children can be challenging, especially when it comes to following through. Let’s face it, it would be so much easier to give your child what they want or let them do whatever they please all the time. There would probably be fewer arguments, less eyerolling, and fewer tantrums or meltdowns, which always seem to happen at the worst possible times.

If kids are getting what they want, there shouldn’t be any pushback from them, right? Wrong! Children crave and thrive on consistency. The ironic part is that most of them don’t even know it. However, the facts clearly show that if we are not consistent in setting boundaries with children at an early age, they are more likely to struggle with self-discipline, behavior management, and healthy social interactions with peers. The likelihood of the child becoming manipulative also increases. 

Setting boundaries and sticking to them is very important for your child’s development. According to Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, implementing age-appropriate boundaries at different developmental stages in a child’s life while maintaining a safe environment will help them develop their independence. While setting boundaries for children, it is important to remember the four C’s recommended by psychotherapist Elizabeth Beiderman ­— Communication, Clarity, Conviction, and Consistency.

Communication may seem obvious, but while relaying the set boundaries to the child, everyone involved in the child’s life must be notified of those boundaries as well.

This ties in with the fourth C, Consistency. Having consistency in every environment the child may be in will help them understand expectations and respect for others.

Clarity is crucial when explaining a child’s boundaries to them. Speaking clearly, breaking down why the child has this boundary (and what the consequences are if they break this boundary) will help them understand their set expectations.

That brings us to the remaining C, Conviction. It’s important to be kind and compassionate when setting boundaries, but it’s also essential to be firm and confident. Showing a child that you mean what you say, sticking to the boundaries you implemented, and following through on the consequences if the boundary is broken are the keys to long-lasting, effective boundaries.

Parents who do not set clear boundaries with their young children may experience parental burnout, anxiety, depression, and personal relationship problems. It’s no secret that when we feel tired or burnt out, it is harder to carry out activities in our everyday lives.

Taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically is one of the most important things you can do to help your child. You are modeling healthy behaviors and helping your child understand the importance of taking care of the whole body. When taking care of yourself, you are also more likely to react with thought and purpose when dealing with negative or positive behaviors. This means fewer arguments, eyerolling, tantrums, and meltdowns. Isn’t that the kind of family harmony we are all striving for?

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Coping with Childhood Anxiety

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By Lori Powell, MSW, LCSW – September 10, 2025 –

In today’s world, we hear a lot about anxiety. The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by apprehension and somatic symptoms of tension in which an individual anticipates impending danger, catastrophe, or misfortune.” 

Everyone experiences anxiety to some degree, but not everyone experiences an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders include excessive worry, fear, and avoidance that may significantly interfere with daily life.

What does anxiety look like in children? Children may seem more irritated, uneasy, or have physical problems such as headaches or stomach aches when they are experiencing anxiety.  

Anxiety looks different for everyone. For example, when riding with a parent to school, a child with anxiety might refuse to leave the vehicle when arriving or begin hitting the parent because their fear is so extreme.  

Another student might visit the school nurse regularly, complaining of headaches or stomach problems. If the school nurse reports that there is no evidence of sickness, the student could be experiencing anxiety, especially if this situation is happening more frequently.  

Here are five helpful, positive coping skills that parents can use to help their children reduce the intensity of anxiety: deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, positive self-talk, and visualizing safe places or an animal they like.    

  1. Deep breathing is a great technique to help regulate emotions and the body. An example of a deep breathing technique is taking a deep breath through your nose, like you are smelling your favorite scent (chocolate cake or a rose), breathing out through your mouth (as if blowing out birthday candles). Just make sure that breathing is slow and deep. 
  1. Progressive muscle relaxation is another technique that can be used to help reduce anxiety. Starting with their toes, have your child tense and relax each muscle group all the way up through their head. When finished, ask your child to identify the emotion they’re feeling and recognize how their body feels. 
  1. Using the five senses can also help children reduce anxiety. An example of a technique that can be used is identifying five things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste.    
  1. It’s important to encourage children to talk positively about themselves. When they say things like, “I can’t do anything right” or “I’m always messing things up,” it can negatively affect their mental health. Ask them to use positive affirmations such as “I can do hard things” or “I can get through this situation.” Thinking and speaking positively helps everyone have a better attitude.
  1. Another method children can try is to think about something that makes them feel safe. For example, they can think about their pet or an animal they like, (What does the animal look like, feel like, sound like, and smell like?) or a place that makes them feel safe (What does the place look like, what does it smell like, what can you touch, and what do you hear when you are in this place?). Details are important with this activity. 

The CDC reports that 11 percent of children ages 3 to 17 had been diagnosed with anxiety, according to 2022-2023 data in the United States. If a child’s anxiety becomes more severe and episodes become more frequent, parents should contact the child’s pediatrician for an appointment or have their child evaluated by a therapist. 

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Be the Superhero Your Child Needs: The Power of Presence, Love and Example

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By Nolan Miller, MSW, LCSW – August 14, 2025 –

We often think of superheroes as those who wear capes, possess powers, and save the world with flashy rescues. But in reality, some of the most important superheroes don’t fly; they stand beside a child, quietly shaping their future through love, support, and example.

Every child faces challenges. Whether it’s school struggles, peer pressure, big emotions, or feeling misunderstood, the world can be overwhelming. But when a child knows there’s someone who sees them, believes in them, and stays by their side, they begin to build the strength to rise above life’s storms. That “someone” can be you.

The Everyday Hero Work
You don’t need a mask or magic. You just need to show up. Listening without judgment, offering a hug when words fall short, and making time for even the smallest moments—those are your superpowers. The bedtime stories, the car rides, the walks around the block, the simple “I’m proud of you,” they all add up to something much bigger than we realize.

Children may not always remember exactly what we say, but they’ll never forget how we made them feel. Your presence tells them they matter. Your encouragement tells them they can try again. Your boundaries teach them safety. And your love, especially your unconditional love, teaches them how to value themselves.

The Struggles Are Real—and So Is Your Impact
When kids struggle, they need a safe harbor. Life comes at them fast—friendship drama, academic pressure, big questions about identity, anxiety about the future. And while we can’t shield them from every storm, we can anchor them. Your steady voice and open arms remind them that they’re never alone.

Being their superhero doesn’t mean fixing everything; it means walking beside them through it. Sometimes, just sitting in silence, holding their hand, or saying, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here,” is enough to help them breathe again.

The Legacy You’re Building
What you do today matters far more than you know. By showing compassion, staying consistent, and being honest about your struggles and growth, you model what resilience looks like. You show your child how to get back up. You teach them empathy, courage, and character.

And one day, when they’re older and faced with a world full of decisions and distractions, they’ll remember the strength you gave them. They’ll stand taller, walk kinder, and love stronger, because a real-life superhero raised them.

Final Word: The Hero They’ll Always Remember
In the end, it’s not about perfection. It’s about showing up again and again, even when you’re tired, even when you’re unsure, even when you feel like you’re not enough.

Because to your child, you are. You always have been, and you always will be. So keep going. Keep loving. Keep being the difference.

The world may never see your cape, but your child will never forget your impact.

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Parents Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup

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By Amber Nunaley, MSW, LCSW – July 11, 2025 –

Let’s get straight to the point. Being a parent is hard. Parenting can mean poor sleep, burnout, and lots of stress. It often requires putting all your needs aside to make sure your child succeeds in life. It is not an easy task, and it really does take a village to raise a child.  

After the kids go to bed, you finally have time to unwind. What do you do? Read a book, watch a TV series, or go to sleep? When do you take time out of the busy family schedule to do something for yourself? I think most parents and caregivers would say there is not enough time in the day.

However, pouring from an empty cup is not helpful to anyone, especially your children. Let’s talk about some ways that you can practice self-care so you can better manage stress, become more present with your children, and overall feel better.

With soccer, ballet, football, band, and many other extracurricular activities available to kids, there’s a laundry list of practices, games, recitals, etc. to accompany each commitment. Most families these days have a jam-packed monthly schedule that includes sports, after-school activities, doctors’ appointments, birthday parties, and many other important things. However, parents can use a busy schedule to your advantage. Let’s look at how you can take time each day to practice self-care.

While your child is at soccer practice, for example, you could sit in the car or next to the field and listen to your favorite audiobook. Instead of having the kids take the dog out for a walk, you could volunteer to do it. Enjoy the fresh air and get some extra steps into your day. Just fitting as little as 10 minutes into your schedule to take some time out for yourself can make a big difference.

Have you ever thought about pursuing a new hobby? Remember that gift card you got for a free session at the local pottery shop? Cash that in and learn something new. Learning a new hobby doesn’t have to be just for you. It could be a family activity such as gardening. Teach the kids how to grow their own fruits and vegetables. This is also considered self-care, because as you enjoy teaching your kids something new, you are spending time together as a family. The benefits of sitting down once a day to eat a meal together or once a week to watch a movie together help families bond and parents feel fulfilled by special moments together.

As parents, we are role models for our children, which means that we must set a good example for them. If we can show our kids that we practice self-care and take time away from the hustle and bustle of life to take care of ourselves, hopefully they will follow in our footsteps and practice self-care as they grow into healthy adults.

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Seeking Professional Help for Your Child

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By Amy Back, MSW, LSW – July 2, 2025 –

As parents, we care deeply for our children and would do anything in the world to help them through difficult times. It can feel defeating when we realize our children may need outside help that we are unable to give them.

If you choose to get your child professional help, please know there is nothing to feel bad about; in fact, it speaks volumes that you care enough to take the step to get extra support for your child.

Every child is different, so while one child may come to their parent asking for professional help, others might not feel comfortable asking for help at all. This is where parents can step in if they are noticing signs that their child could benefit from professional assistance. Some of these signs could look like the child struggling to express emotions in healthy ways, substance use, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, isolation, engaging in risky behaviors, or even persistent physical symptoms like stomachache, headache, chest pain, etc. Parents know their children best, so when our gut is telling us something is off, it likely is.

Some children may be closed off to the idea of getting professional help. Though it has gotten a lot better through the years, there can still be a stigma or negative perception that goes along with needing extra support. If you want to introduce the idea of seeking professional help to your child but are unsure of how they will respond, here are some things to consider.

First, tell your child that you want to empower and strengthen them. Seeking outside help is all about growing stronger and learning the tools they can use in times of high stress or emotions. Remind them that the emotional discomfort they are feeling is something that does not have to be their norm and that getting extra help is a way to combat that.

Remind your child that seeking help may take time. If your child can go into the process knowing that this is an investment in their mental health (and not necessarily something that will change overnight), it helps them think realistically about the process and not get discouraged if they don’t immediately see drastic results.

A big thing we can do as parents is to remind our kids that they are not in this alone. Not only will they now have added support through an outside professional, but you, as their parent or guardian, will still be with them every step of the way. Let them know that you will still be as involved as they are comfortable with you being, and at the same time, give them space if that is what they need. As parents, we can show our children that they don’t need to feel uncomfortable about seeking professional help; and at the same time, they still have us to fall back on.

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Tracking Your Child’s Development

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By Rebecca Williams, MSW, LSW – May 14, 2025 –

As parents or caregivers, we have so many questions: Am I doing enough? Will my child be successful? Is my child achieving appropriate developmental milestones? Why doesn’t my child want to spend time with me anymore?

These are some of the questions parents may face throughout their child’s development. As a school social worker, I have heard them from parents myself on occasion, and they are not always easy to answer. However, there are some standards parents can consult to see how their child is developing and whether they need extra support.

Psychologist Erik Erikson outlined eight stages of human development. For the purpose of the audience, I will go over the first six.

  1. The first stage is trust vs. mistrust during a child’s infancy. This is the stage where children learn that if their needs are met, they can trust the adults catering to those needs. If their needs are not met, then children often grow to become less trusting in others.
  2. The second stage is autonomy vs. shame/doubt while the child is a toddler. Autonomy allows the child to have independence, thus creating a sense of confidence. However, doubt in the child or dependence on their caregiver can lead to low self-confidence.
  3. The third stage is initiative vs. guilt during the child’s preschool years. If the child’s initiative is taken positively, the child learns that being assertive can be a positive behavior. If the initiative is taken negatively, it can lead children to be shy or timid.
  4. The fourth stage is industry vs inferiority during the child’s early school years. This stage has a lot to do with self-esteem. If children feel like they are having success like their peers, they gain a positive self-image. If they feel like they are not meeting the same milestones as their peers, they can have a negative self-image.
  5. The fifth stage is identity vs. role confusion in adolescent years. During this stage, children are finding out what their identity is. If they are not given the opportunity to explore what their identity is this can lead to role confusion. Don’t be surprised if your children spend more time with their peers and pursuing their own interests at this age. Stages 4 and 5 have a lot to do with a child’s social system and may feel out of your hands, so it’s important to provide support and encouragement when you can.
  6. The sixth stage is intimacy vs. isolation during the young adult stage. This stage is all about forming relationships. Those that can form bonds and relationships well will form a sense of intimacy, while those that are unable to form positive relationships feel isolation.

Now this is not a cut and dry layout. There will always be exceptions and gray areas, but this can be a helpful tool to identify what your child’s needs and milestones are at different ages. Being a parent or caregiver isn’t always easy, but your support, encouragement and care will go a long way toward a child’s success. As your child grows, create a space and relationship with them that promotes open and judgement-free communication.

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Technology and Mental Health – Positives and Negatives for Your Teen

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By Christina Oschman-Vandiver, MSW, LSW – May 7, 2025 –

Technology plays a large role in the lives of students, particularly those in middle and high school. It seems to have become a big part of their lives and their preferred method of communication.

While technology offers convenience, it also presents more than a few challenges.  Whether it is social media, messaging or video games, they all provide a level of communication and anonymity. Students can portray themselves and their peers any way they want, which often leads to the aforementioned challenges.

As a school social worker, I see students using technology and social media accounts at increasingly younger ages. One benefit of students having a social media account is that it offers a way to stay connected with friends and family that may not be local as well as staying abreast of current events. I believe that staying connected with others plays an important role in good mental health, and a benefit of technology as a whole is that it gives students a way to reach out to others and ask for help if needed. 

On the other hand, technology and social media can present quite a few challenges.  Working in a middle school, I see the constant struggle of keeping students off of their electronics during the school day. With the constant use of social media, I have seen rumors spread rapidly, videos of fights shared, and online bullying, to list a few examples. I have also seen social media accounts made for the purpose of ridiculing other students and even teachers. The challenges have increased with the required use of computers by students for classes and classwork. 

Middle school is difficult enough, and adding technology and social media to the mix does not make things any easier. Social media can have a negative effect on a student’s mental health. When rumors are spread or embarrassing pictures are shared, it often leads to feelings of shame, insecurity and self-doubt. Then when others begin to join in, the student may begin to believe what is being said, possibly leading to depression, anxiety, isolation, anger, and loss of friendships. The more people that become involved, the more challenging it is for the student to handle and the school administration to resolve the issue. 

When it comes to mental health, there are both positives and negatives to students using technology and social media. A positive of a student having access to technology is that when they are feeling down or having thoughts of self-harm, they have the ability to easily reach out and get help, whether that be from a friend, family member or hotline number. Another positive is the possibility of finding a community where they feel accepted and others who may have gone through similar situations who can be an inspiration for the student.

A downside is that there are times when students are focused on their devices and the actions of others and become so wrapped up in what someone else is doing that they forget to live their own life. Another downside is that rumors spread very quickly online and the negative effects on mental health increase.

As with almost anything, technology and social media can have a positive or negative impact on mental health. On the one hand, it can be used for community, connectedness, and support. On the other hand, it can be used as a way to spread rumors, deceit and to tear others down. Therefore, it is important to bring awareness to positive mental health and proper use of technology, especially within the middle and high school student populations. 

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Establish Consistent Routines for Children

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By Lori Powell, MSW, LCSW – April 22, 2025 –

Each year on the first few days of school, students appear to be excited and ready to begin their school day. However, later in the week or sometimes even that day, students begin discussing how they feel tired or hungry. Then, suddenly they are angry and upset. Sometimes they are not sure what they need or want. The child just knows that something does not feel right. 

This is the perfect time for the Youth First Mental Health Professional, social worker or counselor in the building to discuss emotions and positive coping skills. After the child is calm, the Youth First Mental Health Professional is able to ask multiple important questions, such as how many hours of sleep the child got last night, whether they ate breakfast this morning, and whether the family has a consistent schedule.

When students do not get enough sleep, they have difficulty learning and regulating their emotions at school. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that children ages 6-12 years of age get between 9-12 hours of sleep on a daily basis. Teens ages 13-18 should sleep 8-10 hours per day. 

For example, if the child has to be at school at 8:30 am and the child is 7 years old, he or she should go to bed between 7:30 pm – 9:30 pm, depending on the individual child’s sleep needs. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Children who get enough sleep have a healthier immune system and better school performance, behavior, memory, and mental health.”

According to CDC Healthy Schools, eating a nutritious breakfast helps enhance cognitive ability, school attendance, and mood improvement. Children might eat 4-5 meals daily due to the smaller size of their stomachs and their higher metabolisms. Including children in meal planning, eating meals as a family, and having open discussions regarding the importance of a meal schedule will help children understand the importance and participate in the plan. If you have any questions regarding nutrition, please contact your child’s pediatrician, nutritionist, or dietician for recommendations about children and teen nutrition.

It is important that parents involve their children in establishing a consistent routine. The schedule needs to be clear and easy to understand. Children feel empowered and motivated to participate in a new routine when they are able to make suggestions and ask questions about the schedule. The schedule needs to be in an accessible location, such as on the refrigerator.

According to Dr. Laura Markham, “Structure and routines teach kids how to constructively control themselves and their environments.” Children thrive from structure and like to know what is happening at different times of the day. They want to know what time they are eating meals, what time they go to bed, and the time they wake up in the mornings.

Establishing consistent routines can help enhance the child’s mental health and well-being, increase the child’s desire to complete assigned tasks, teach time management and responsibility, and build better connections and communication between the parent and the child.

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Repairing Damaged Relationships with Your Children

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By Emily Bernhardt, MSW, LCSW – April 16, 2025 –

As parents, we can never be perfect. We are imperfect people doing our best to grow and shape the minds of our little ones. To be expected, there are times when we mess up, whether that looks like shouting, slamming a door, or even saying something hurtful to our child. We know these mistakes will happen, so how do we repair the damage after we have hurt our child?

The first step to rebuilding trust is honesty. Many adults struggle with being honest with their children because it feels so hard to be vulnerable with them. We have been taught that we have to be strong and not show our emotions to our children, but that is simply not true. Our children benefit from seeing our real emotions and how we respond and cope with those emotions. Being honest with your child not only models how to cope with emotions; it also shows them they can trust you. In times of conflict with your child, be honest with them about how you are really feeling. When we refrain from sharing with our child, we leave them to make assumptions, which can make the conflict worse.

Practicing humility is another great skill to improve. When we are able to be humble and apologize for our mistakes with our children, that speaks volumes with them. This is something we expect our child to do, so when they see us as adults also taking ownership of our mistakes and apologizing to them it makes them feel heard and respected. When apologizing to your child, try to refrain from saying, “I’m sorry, but…” This sends the message that we are more worried about justifying our actions than we are about apologizing for the hurt we caused.

Remember to be consistent. We don’t want to just use these tools like a bag of tricks we pull out when we mess up. It’s important to be practicing these skills in our everyday interactions with our children. Then, when we inevitably do something wrong, we are more easily able to repair the relationship due to the solid foundation that has already been laid out. Of course, we know that sometimes our children make mistakes that hurt us as well. When this happens, be honest with them. Being honest in this way gives your child the opportunity to learn, grow, and apologize to you as well. If your child is apologizing, try your best not to lay on the guilt and accept their apology. All in all, we know relationships can be messy, but because we care deeply about these relationships, it is important to learn tools to help us grow as parents and in turn, help our children grow. If we can humble ourselves, engage in honest communication, and be consistent with the skills we learn, I truly believe we can repair damaged relationships with our children. No child wants conflict with their parent, so as adults we must step up and do our best to make repairs where we have made mistakes.

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