Tag Archive for: YouthFirst2024

Recognizing Signs of an Eating Disorder in Your Child

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By Courtney Beitler, MSW, LCSW – October 17, 2024 –

As a parent, being attentive to your child’s well-being is crucial, especially when it comes to their relationship with food and body image. Eating disorders can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background, and early detection is key to intervention and recovery.

It is often assumed that eating disorders impact only females. According to the National Eating Disorders Association in 2020, up to 30 million people in the United States suffer from an eating disorder; 20 million of those are women compared to 10 million men. These figures encompass various eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder.

So, what are some signs to watch for in your child or teenager? Changes in eating habits could mean the onset of an eating disorder. Be mindful of drastic changes in eating patterns, such as skipping meals, making excuses to avoid eating with the family, or sudden interest in restrictive diets. Be aware of any body image concerns by paying attention to negative comments about body shape or weight, excessive preoccupation with appearance, or sudden interest in intense exercise regimens.

The above signs could also lead to withdrawal or isolation and mood swings. Isolation can be seen from the family as well as from friends and peers. Notice if your child or teen becomes more withdrawn, irritable, or anxious, especially around mealtimes or social gatherings involving food.

Physical symptoms can be easier to spot, and unfortunately, a symptom of a progressing eating disorder. Physical symptoms include the following: weight loss or weight fluctuations, fatigue, dizziness, frequent trips to the bathroom after meals, or the development of unusual food rituals.

Be wary if your child or teen starts hiding food, food wrappers, or becomes secretive about their eating habits. Oftentimes, a person struggling with an eating disorder simultaneously becomes interested in food or cooking. While interest in cooking (without other symptoms present) is a positive, an obsessive focus on food preparation or constantly talking about food may indicate an unhealthy relationship with eating.

If you notice some of these signs in your child or teen, it is important to express concern as soon as possible. Be aware that denial and defensiveness are also common behaviors for someone with an eating disorder. If you express concern about your child’s eating habits or body image, observe how they respond. Denial, defensiveness, or anger could be indicators of underlying issues.

It’s essential to approach your child with empathy and understanding. Open communication and seeking professional help from a healthcare provider or therapist specializing in eating disorders are vital steps towards intervention and support. Remember, early intervention can significantly improve the chances of recovery and overall well-being for your child.


Below are some outpatient resources for eating disorder treatment in southern/central Indiana:

The Chestnut Group of Indiana
Evansville, IN

812-221-2710

Lampion Center
Evansville, IN

812-471-1776

Stanton Nutrition Counseling
Evansville, IN

812-491-0194

LifeStance Health
Evansville, IN

812-247-8010

Boca Recovery Center
Bloomington, IN
812-413-9796

Indiana Health Group
Carmel, IN
317-653-4897

Care to Change
Avon, IN
317-350-8663

Arbor Wellness
Indianapolis, IN
615-805-6119

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When Your Child Refuses Therapy

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By Beth Greene, MSW, LSW – October 9, 2024 –

As a society, we have made great strides in raising awareness for mental health. Mental health is more openly discussed, and people are more aware of signs and symptoms. These strides have added support in our homes, schools, and communities that did not exist 20 years ago.

Technology has assisted with the availability of mental health information, but unfortunately, many people stop there. We still have a long way to go, because let’s face it, actually seeking mental health treatment continues to have stigmas for both adults and children.

Sometimes parents, doctors, or school personnel will recognize the signs and symptoms of a mental health concern in a child, but the child may refuse treatment, or the parent may be hesitant due to denial or fear of bias from others. Many people feel they can handle the problems they are facing on their own or feel uncomfortable talking to a “stranger” about their problems. Some parents feel guilty or embarrassed talking about their child or family’s home life stressors.

Trying something new can be scary, but it’s important that we take our mental health just as seriously as our physical health. So how do we convince our children to go to therapy when, as a society, we may still experience discrimination towards mental health supports and seeking professional help?

First, openly discuss mental health issues in an age-appropriate way with your child. Verbalize how you feel and what you need when you are experiencing stress, grief, or a traumatic life event. Schedule therapy for yourself when you notice healthy coping skills aren’t enough or you find yourself coping in unhealthy ways, like isolating yourself or using drugs and alcohol to cope.

Next, utilize school counselors and social workers. Often times, a school-based mental health professional can provide support, mentorship, guidance, and healing. However, if the school-based social worker does not have expertise in the area of concern or there isn’t progress being made in the identified area of concern, it would be important to seek outpatient services.

School-based mental health professionals do provide support for trauma-related concerns; however, it’s not always appropriate to expect a child to process their trauma while at school and then return to their regular studies. Some children will say they only feel comfortable with their school-based mental health provider and say they don’t want an outpatient therapist. However, the school resource is only available during school hours. The school-based professional can help have these difficult conversations with your child as well.

Lastly, if your child continues to refuse to go to therapy, it could be appropriate for the parent to make a therapy appointment for themselves to receive support for their own stressors and guidance on how they can support their child outside of therapy.

The National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) reveals that every year, about 21 percent of adults in the US are affected by some kind of mental health issue. Unfortunately, not everyone from this population seeks help. According to NAMI, “Less than half of this population seeks professional guidance – with many of them reaching out for help after nearly a decade of hesitance and denial.”

These statistics show that many mental health signs and symptoms are showing up in childhood but are untreated until adulthood. Talk to your doctor, school counselor, or social worker about local mental health providers for your child if you suspect they may be struggling with their mental health.

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Mindfulness Can Help Your Child Handle Stress

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By Jordyn Bryant, MSW, LSW – October 2, 2024 –

Having stress or anxiety as a child can be hard. Often, children hear, “You are too young to have stress” or other statements that dismiss their feelings. Recognizing that children can have negative emotions about things adults consider “small” or “trivial” can help children validate their feelings and begin to cope with them to regulate their emotions.

One healthy coping mechanism is mindfulness.

According to understood.org, practicing mindfulness can ease feelings of stress and anxiety. Mindfulness is the practice of staying in the moment, which helps children and adults identify how they are feeling right then and how they can adjust to a more neutral thought or feeling.

Often when we are thinking of something, we tend to think of how it played out in the past or how it can play out in the future. When we stay in the moment, it helps to focus on what can help now instead of what hurt us in the past or what could go wrong in the future.

A big part of mindfulness is focusing on your breathing. When your thoughts begin to go elsewhere, focus on how your breathing feels to bring you back into the present,  recognizing and acknowledging how you feel in the moment. When children learn this, they are better able to practice self-control and strengthen their resiliency. According to mindful.org, studies show that the benefits of mindfulness for children are:

  • Increased focus
  • Improved academic performance
  • Decreased levels of stress

Working on these things can bolster confidence and improve emotional regulation and the overall well-being of a child’s mental health.

As adults, the more we practice and model mindfulness ourselves, the more we can help our children learn. It is important to recognize the feelings in ourselves and our children. Recognizing that having feelings is okay – even the ones that do not feel so good – is a way to have a healthy emotional balance. Being mentally and emotionally healthy can create positive changes in life, including our physical health, creating stronger families, and having more positive social skills. You can practice mindfulness in everyday life, even when you do not have time for 20-30 minutes of breathing and yoga.

Some examples are:

  • Practicing gratitude
  • Checking in with your body
  • Utilizing your 5 senses
  • Focusing on your breathing
  • Practicing active listening

Practicing mindfulness and helping children practice mindfulness sets us up for success in different aspects of our lives. You will be amazed to recognize the changes that come with being in the “here and now” vs. thinking about the unknowns and the “should haves.”

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Seeking Understanding: The Key to Improving Relationships

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By Holly Walther, MSW, LSW – September 26, 2024

As the saying goes, “There’s no handbook for parenting.”  It’s a complicated yet fulfilling journey that evokes so many emotions. During times of discipline, we can find ourselves doubting ourselves as we try to strike a balance between justice and compassion. In these uncertain moments, seeking understanding ensures this important equilibrium.

Reacting Vs. Responding

Living in a fast-paced society creates a proneness toward reactivity. But this tendency should not carry over into our closest relationships, especially those within our homes. Your child spills milk on the kitchen floor, and your immediate response might be frustration or annoyance. Your teenager arrives home late, and you might express offense. These reactions originate from our own triggers such as experiences, stress, and exhaustion. But what if instead of reacting in judgment, we seek to understand the situation from outside of our own perspective?

The Importance of Empathy

Empathy is a cornerstone of understanding. In the words of social work researcher Brene Brown, “In order to empathize with someone’s experience, you must be willing to believe them as they see it, and not how you imagine their experience.”  When we empathize with our children, we recognize that their behaviors aren’t always a deliberate challenge to our authority; it’s often a reflection of their inner world and developing mind. Practicing empathy creates a safe environment where our children can express their feelings, fears, and desires.

Changing Unhealthy Patterns

No parents are perfect, not even our own. Perhaps we remember feeling misunderstood, dismissed, or unappreciated. Memories like these shape our parenting styles, sometimes in ways unaware. But seeking understanding breaks this cycle. When we choose to see our children as unique individuals with their own struggles, we break free from generational patterns and cultivate a home where everyone is heard, seen, and understood.

Below are some practical actions for seeking understanding:

  1. Pause and Reflect—Before responding, take a deep breath (or two or three). Openly consider your child’s perspective. What might be influencing their behavior? Is there an underlying need or fear?
  1. Actively Listen—Give your child your undivided attention. Ask open-ended questions such as, “What do you think would make things better?” or “Would you please help me understand what is bothering you?” Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.
  1. Validate Their Emotions—Even if you disagree with their actions, affirm your children’s emotions. Statements like, “I see you’re upset. Let’s talk about it,” help them know that you are trying to understand rather than judge.
  1. Learn Their Love Language—Each child expresses love differently—through words, acts of service, gifts, touch, or quality time. Discover their love language and use it to connect.  Learn more at https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language.

As parents, we hold immense power to shape our children’s lives. The rewards of seeking understanding are immeasurable—deeper bonds, a more harmonious home, and the fulfillment of knowing we are shaping compassionate, resilient human beings who will carry forth a beacon of love and empathy into future generations. 

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Your Student Needs Good Quality Sleep

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By Katie Martin, MSW, LCSW, CSAYC – September 18, 2024 –

A good night’s sleep can make or break a student’s success in school and in life. Quality rest and a sufficient amount of sleep create better outcomes in academics, social settings, mental functioning, motivation, emotional regulation and physical energy, among other things. 

There are many reasons a student may not be sleeping well, such as staying up too late, mental illness, stress, poor health in general, etc. It is important to establish good sleep hygiene. Many think of hygiene as related to cleanliness, but hygiene is simply doing what is conducive to maintaining health. Sleep hygiene maintains our health on a multitude of levels. 

Below is the recommended amount of sleep by age, according to the Mayo Clinic:

Infants 4 months – 12 months             12 to 16 hours per 24 hours, including naps

One to two years                                      11 to 14 hours per 24 hours, including naps

Three to five years                                   10 to 13 hours per 24 hours, including naps

Six to 12 years                                          9 to 12 hours per 24 hours

Thirteen to 18 years                                 8 to 10 hours per 24 hours

Adults                                                          7 or more hours per night

It’s important to establish good sleep hygiene as early as possible for student success. It may feel daunting as a parent or student if routines have not been previously implemented. In some cases, there may be strategies that have been attempted and failed, but consistency is key, and it may take some trial and error.

Families can help by encouraging structure and participating in healthy nighttime routines. Consult a doctor if a healthy routine isn’t working. In some cases, families may need to advocate for a sleep study if rest is not improved with good hygiene. 

The following tips for sleep hygiene are provided by the Children’s Hospital of Orange County:

  1. Stick to the same bedtime and wake time every day, even on weekends. Staying up late during the weekend and then trying to catch up by sleeping in can throw off a child’s sleep schedule for several days.
  2. Beds are for sleeping. Lying on a bed and doing other activities makes it hard for your brain to associate your bed with sleep.
  3. Establish a comfy, cozy room. A bedroom should be cool, quiet and comfortable.
  4. Alarm clocks are for waking up. Youth who stare at the clock waiting and hoping to fall asleep should have the clock turned away from them.
  5. Stick to a bedtime routine. A predictable series of events should lead up to bedtime. This can include brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, showering, reading, etc.
  6. Engage in only quiet, calm and relaxing activities before bedtime. Listen to soft, calm music. Avoid activities that are excessively stimulating, such as screen time and physical exercise. It is best to keep screen time out of the bedroom and limit use to at least one hour before bedtime.
  7. Relax. Practice deep breathing and imagining positive images that bring happiness and comfort.
  8. Start the day off right with exercise. Exercise and physical activity earlier in the day can help children focus, feel more energetic and awake during the day, and fall asleep and stay asleep later on that evening.
  9. Avoid caffeine. Avoid caffeine in the late afternoon and evening. It can cause nighttime awakenings and shallow sleep and/or prevent one from falling asleep.
  10. If you can’t sleep, get out of bed. Get up and do something non-stimulating, such as reading a book. Repeat for 20-30 minutes if necessary. Getting out of bed prevents the bed from being associated with sleeplessness. 
  11. Put kids to bed drowsy, but awake. The ideal time for a child to go to bed is when they are drowsy but still awake. Allowing them to fall asleep in places other than their bed teaches them to associate sleep with other places.
  12. Cuddle up with a stuffed animal or soft blanket. A security item such as a stuffed animal or blanket can provide comfort for all ages.
  13. Bedtime checkups should be short and sweet. Checking in on a child is to let them know you are there and everything is okay. A check in should be brief and non-stimulating.
  14. Maintain a sleep diary. Track naps, bedtimes, wake times and behaviors to find patterns if things are not going well. Diaries can be reported to a doctor for further discussion.

With these tips, hopefully your child can establish good sleep hygiene and get quality rest so they can be at their best.

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The Power of Empathy

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By Ashley Lingafelter, MSW, LSW – September 11, 2024 –

In a fast-paced and technology driven world, empathy remains an essential quality that promotes genuine human connection and understanding. Empathy is the capacity to put oneself in another person’s shoes, recognizing and understanding their emotions, experiences, and perspective.

The ability to understand and share the feelings of another person is what makes us unique and compassionate beings. It plays a pivotal role in fostering healthy relationships, resolving conflicts, and promoting a more compassionate society.

Psychologists have identified three components of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. Cognitive empathy involves understanding another person’s thoughts and emotions, even if one does not personally experience them. It requires active listening, open-mindedness, and a willingness to consider different perspectives.

Emotional empathy refers to feeling the same emotion as another person, often leading to a sense of shared experience and resonance with their feelings. It enables individuals to offer comfort and support while validating the other person’s emotions.

Lastly there is compassionate empathy, which combines cognitive and emotional empathy, compelling individuals to take action to alleviate others’ suffering. It fuels acts of kindness, selflessness, and social advocacy.

Empathy has far-reaching benefits on both an individual and societal level. Here are a few key reasons why empathy is essential:

1. Building Stronger Relationships: Empathy forms the cornerstone of strong interpersonal connections. By actively listening and understanding others, we can gain trust, foster teamwork, and create meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

2. Conflict Resolution: Empathy helps resolve conflicts by providing a deeper understanding of others’ perspectives. It encourages constructive dialogue and problem-solving.

3. Enhancing Emotional Intelligence: Empathy is closely linked to emotional intelligence, which involves recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions.

4. Fostering Inclusivity and Tolerance: Empathy allows us to embrace diversity and appreciate different cultures, beliefs, and backgrounds. It promotes a sense of inclusivity, tolerance, and respect for individual differences by dismantling stereotypes and biases.

5. Creating Social Change: Empathy fuels acts of kindness and compassion, inspiring individuals to make a positive difference in society. It drives philanthropy, volunteering, and social activism, paving the way for a more equitable and empathetic world.

So how do we become more empathetic and how do we teach our children to be empathetic? Empathy is a skill that can be nurtured and developed. Pay attention to others’ words, body language, and emotions. Practice active listening by being fully present in conversations and showing genuine interest.

Try to understand situations from others’ viewpoints, considering their beliefs, values, and experiences. This promotes empathy and helps bridge the gap between different perspectives. We can read more diverse narratives and stories and watch more diverse movies. Doing so will broaden our understanding of others’ experiences and help us cultivate empathy. We also need to practice more self-reflection. We need to make sure we are aware of our own biases, assumptions, and experiences to be able to approach others with an open mind.

Empathy is a powerful force that promotes understanding, strengthens relationships, and fosters social change. It is an essential skill that can be developed through active listening, perspective-taking, and self-reflection. Let us embrace empathy to bridge divides, build connections, and make the world a little brighter for one another.

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Why Students Should Leave Cell Phones in Lockers

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By Heidi Mikac, MSW, LSW – September 4, 2024 –

As a school social worker, one of the most frustrating parts of my job is when I’m in the middle of a session with a student and they take out their cell phone and start texting as if I don’t notice or exist. When I tell them to put their phone away, they protest as if it’s a life or death situation. 

How did I survive middle school and high school without a cell phone?  I didn’t get my first phone until I was a freshman in high school, and it was so difficult to handle I barely used it. But somehow I survived, and I’m still here to tell the tale. 

There are issues that are difficult to ignore when it comes to the use of cell phones by students. There has been a noticeable increase in depression and mental health concerns among children who spend their days (and nights) gazing at the bright white screen in front of them. Countless hours spent watching TikTok and arguing back and forth over Snapchat have made it difficult for students to focus their attention on studies, friends, and family. 

Many of my students have told me they don’t communicate often with their parents because they lock themselves in their room and watch YouTube or chat with friends on social media sites during their down time. This chronic behavior is taking away from quality family time and interfering with their ability to complete any meaningful homework or chores at home. I’ve noticed that when a student’s phone is taken away from them at school, the student reacts like a junkie who can’t get a fix. I’ve had many students come into my office crying because a teacher took away their phone. 

Since 2015, more and more teenagers have reported feeling lonely. This has not escaped my attention at the middle school where I work. It has been alarming to see the social skills of many students atrophy over the past few years. Many students seem to have forgotten how to start a conversation with their peers and would rather sit alone in silence than interact with their schoolmates. While on lunch duty, I routinely observe many students burying their faces in their cell phones instead of socializing with their peers. 

I am not advocating a complete ban of cell phones. I understand that students may need their phones for various reasons, but there are some commonsense solutions. The student fixation on cell phones has led me to the conclusion that it would be in the best interest of teachers, administrative support staff, and especially the students if we simply had them keep their cell phones in their lockers during classroom hours. Another solution might include issuing a bin to each classroom. Students could leave their phones in the container after turning them off for the duration of the class. I think that would help both teachers and students resolve this sensitive issue. There is no easy fix, but ignoring the problem is not contributing to the wellbeing or academic excellence of our youth.

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Creating a Resilient Child

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By Camryn Cater, MSW, LSW – August 28, 2024 –

Life can be described as a roller coaster, riding the highs and sometimes dropping to unexpected lows. There are certainly different emotions and feelings we experience along the way.

Resiliency is the ability to adapt well to trauma, tragedy, threats, and other areas of stress. Raising children to be resilient through the highs and lows of this quick ride called “life” is important. The exciting news is that resiliency can be taught.

Resiliency can come from a child’s beliefs, personality traits, and influences in their environment. Children who believe they can influence the world rather than the world controlling who they are can be more resilient to change. They also have a higher chance of controlling emotions and creating better coping skills.

A key component when ensuring your child can be resilient through life’s trials is helping them form connections. Demonstrate and encourage your child to build a support system and get involved in a community to create a resilient environment. Connection provides support during challenging times or situations that may be out of our control.

Self-care is another practice in routine that can ensure your child radiates with resiliency. Self-care is the act of improving or protecting one’s happiness and well-being. This can be as simple as working out, eating healthy foods, and getting enough sleep.

Ensuring your children incorporate enjoyable activities into their routine can also provide them with an outlet during stressful times, while also preserving their happiness. These activities might include clubs, sports, Scouts, music lessons, or other social activities.

Self-care is also knowing when to take a break. Children can have busy schedules or feel overwhelmed from time to time. Ensure they have time to decompress and slow down to process their emotions.

Children or teens that have access to at least one trusted adult in their life are more resilient. Children need an outlet where they can express their emotions in a healthy way. These outlets might include talking to someone like therapists, counselors, a parent/guardian, friend, or another trusted adult.

As a parent/guardian, be open and honest with your school-aged children using simple statements. Be a listening ear even if you are not in agreement with their concerns or emotions. It is essential for children to feel heard. Guide them to problem solve or express themselves in a healthy way.

Teaching your child to set goals is a great habit to start as a family and can create an emotionally well rounded child. Setting goals allows us to see how far we have come and gives the motivation to continue. Goal setting can be as simple as journaling any goals we would like to achieve in the future. Another healthy way to journal is to list what you are proud of accomplishing that day, something that made your day, or simply expressing each emotion you felt. These techniques can guide you to more self-awareness, ultimately making you more flexible with the ebb and flow of life. Taking that step to express yourself (for your eyes only) is one of the most powerful self-improvement techniques one can practice.

Change can be scary for children, teens, and even adults. Help your child understand that change is a part of life. Focusing on the positives of change can lead your child to be more optimistic. Point out the positive changes they have already made, such as moving up a grade at school.

Take steps to teach your child and family unit to be resilient during the highs and lows of the rollercoaster ride of life. Hiding what is happening in their world may only postpone anxiety that can pop up later. Telling them too many details of hardships or tragedy, however, could fuel their fears and worries.

By introducing routine, self-care, connections, goal setting, positivity, and making sure your child has at least one trusted adult to confide in, you can build resiliency and change the way your child adapts to struggles and hardships.

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United Way of Daviess County Awards $16,000 to Youth First

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Gift to Provide Mental Health Support and Substance Misuse Prevention for Daviess County Youth

United Way of Daviess County is investing in K-12 youth with a $16,000 grant awardpresented to Youth First, Inc. “United Way of Daviess County’s investment in Youth First helps fulfill both our visions of strong, healthy communities,” says Youth First Regional Development Officer Jeremy Adams.

The grant will allow for mental health supports through Youth First’s student assistance services and prevention programs available to approximately 3,352 students in Daviess County partner schools, including Barr-Reeve Elementary School, Barr-Reeve Middle/High School, North Daviess Junior/Senior High School, Washington Catholic Elementary School, Washington Catholic Middle/High School, Washington High School, Washington Junior High School, and Washington Primary School. 

Data from 2024 County Health Rankings shows that young people in Daviess County are faced with county-level concerns that put them at a higher risk for substance misuse and other risky behaviors. For example, 17% of adults report excessive drinking, there is a drug overdose rate of 34 per 100,000 residents, and there is a suicide rate of 10 per 100,000 people. Data also indicates a Mental Health Provider shortage in Daviess County, with one provider to 1,150 residents (per 100,000), which is double the state average of one to 500.


Youth First addresses these issues by placing highly trained mental health professionals, primarily master’s-level social workers, in Daviess County schools, at no cost to students or their families, where they are equipped with evidence-based strategies to help young people navigate life’s challenges without turning to risky behaviors or self-harm.

Youth First Mental Health Professionals build caring relationships, foster readiness for positive change, and boost resiliency along with other valuable life skills. They also coordinate with community partners to connect students and families to resources and services.

Zella Taylor, CEO & Executive Director of United Way of Daviess County, says: “We are thankful for organizations like Youth First. Our youth have limited access to mental health resources, and Youth First helps bridge that gap by working alongside school staff, the students and their parents to prepare for a successful life by building resiliency and positive coping skills. Youth First is unique in their approach to meeting students where they are and serving them in their time of need.”

If you would like to know more about Youth First’s work in Daviess County, please contact Jeremy Adams, Regional Development Officer, at jadams@youthfirstinc.org or 812-887-0587, or visit our website at youthfirstinc.org/daviess.

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How Active Listening Skills Can Benefit Your Family

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By Emily Bernhardt, MSW, LSW – August 22, 2024 –

Active listening is a skill that can be used to strengthen relationships with anyone we encounter or communicate with. It can be useful when engaging with clients, coworkers, friends, family and even strangers, but it is especially helpful when we use these skills to interact with our children. So often children can feel unheard and misunderstood when seeking support from adults, but implementing active listening skills when having conversations with them can make all the difference.

There are several components that go into active listening. Think about it like this: These skills are behaviors that allow the person you are communicating with to see and feel that you are truly listening to them. Making sure the person has your full attention is a great place to start. Put away your phone, work, or any other distractions and focus completely on your child and what they have to say to you.

Another great active listening skill is to paraphrase back to your child what you think you are hearing them say. This shows you are listening, and it is also helps ensure you are accurately understanding what they are conveying. They then have the opportunity to rephrase anything you may have misunderstood.

Another great active listening skill is using gestures and other forms of nonverbal communication to show you are paying attention to what your child is saying. Make eye contact and give simple head nods as they speak. If you have small children, getting down on their level is something that can help them feel more connected to you in that moment.

One important thing to remember about active listening is that it is all about helping your child feel heard; it does not mean you have to agree with everything they say. It is absolutely okay to acknowledge your child’s thoughts or wishes, express your gratitude for their willingness to share, and then let them know why you have a differing perspective.

It can feel uncomfortable to listen to our children when they are struggling or going through a challenge. Often adults feel like they need to know the “right” thing to say, but in some situations even offering support through a hug or just being present with your child is enough.  

All in all, everyone likes to feel heard when communicating with others, even adults. Our children are no different. Learning active listening skills can positively impact family relationships and help strengthen bonds between caregiver and child. The more heard and supported our children feel when communicating with us, the more likely they are going to be open and share when it really matters most. Taking the time to learn and practice active listening skills is one great step in doing your part to cultivate a healthy and supportive relationship with your child.

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