Tag Archive for: YouthFirst2024

Helping Kids Manage Big Emotions

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By Hannah Smith-Quirey, MSW, LCSW – December 23, 2024 –

Disappointment, failure, pain, and stress are normal parts of life. But as parents, it is difficult to watch our kids go through tough moments without becoming stressed ourselves or jumping in to fix things.

Co-regulation is connecting with our kids to help them remain calm, manage distress, and learn effective and healthy ways to manage emotions. Parents have to first understand their own emotions and obstacles in regulating their emotions. We can share our calm, and we can also share our own distress.

Self-regulation consists of many skills. These include being able to identify and communicate emotions, empathy (seeing things from another’s perspective), social skills, the ability to pay attention and focus, self-soothing, problem solving, flexibility, time management, and setting goals.

Self-regulation is developed through a nurturing and warm relationship with the child, where boundaries and structure are present. Routines and consistency are essential. Kids learn to regulate emotions in an environment where the consequences and expectations are clear.

There are many self-soothing regulation activities that kids can practice. Some examples include breathing exercises, playing with fidgets or squeezing a stress ball, exercise, imagining a favorite place, listening to calming music, and completing mindfulness activities.

Dysregulation occurs when someone is not able to handle stressors. There are several things that can trigger dysregulation in kids, such as change in routine, increased sugar or junk food, not getting enough sleep, lack of exercise, new situations with other kids or unfamiliar people/environments, certain smells, bright lights, and loud environments.

Signs that a child is experiencing dysregulation include arguing, increased sleepiness, impulsivity, mood swings, using angry words/behavior, and a large amount of difficulty doing typical/simple things. Other signs of dysregulation: low frustration tolerance, inattention, difficulty listening, having a hard time remaining or sitting still, difficulty getting along with peers, trouble with simple problem solving, and inability to separate from electronics.

When trying to help our kids regulate their emotions it is important to be calm and validate your child’s feelings. Important things to remember include what causes your child to feel stressed, your child’s ability to express/communicate their feelings, and what self-regulation skills your child may already know and use.

Self-regulation is being able to manage feelings and respond to what our bodies need in any given situation. You are the greatest example for your child and can practice self-regulation in many ways. You can listen to calm music when feeling stressed or upbeat music if you are feeling down. Remember to eat healthy foods and get plenty of rest. Deep breathing practice can help decrease stress, and don’t forget that laughter is some of the best medicine.

Pause and think before responding or acting to be present in the moment. Try to name and validate your emotions, but don’t ruminate or judge yourself. You can always reassess new and better ways of handling situations, because of course we are ALL always a work in progress.

The following are ideas for helping your child regulate their emotions: Remain calm, show empathy and validate their emotions. Support your child with positive words and encourage them to use relaxation skills. Life can be very busy and chaotic, so try to avoid overloading their schedule and keep them in a routine. Kids are calmer when they know what to expect; this is why consistency and structure are key. Prioritize sleep, healthy foods, and regular activity for your child.

Self-regulation takes time to learn; remember to be patient with your child and yourself. Make sure you are working on your own emotional regulation and self-care. Practice calming techniques with your child in the calm moments, not just the heightened moments. You’ve got this!

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What Kids Really Need this Holiday Season

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By Jana Pritchett – December 18, 2024 –

The holidays are here, and kids everywhere are hoping to be on Santa’s good list. Popular toys like AI robots and flying orb balls are on many kids’ wish lists, as are classics such as bikes, LEGO sets, and Barbie.

We all hope to give our children the presents they want, but what do our kids really need from adults this holiday season? What other gifts can mom, dad or grandparents provide to help them become happy, healthy, and successful adults?

Here is my list of the essentials:

  1. Security and stability. Kids need the basics: food, shelter, clothing, medical care and protection. In addition, a stable home and family environment make them feel safe, and being part of a family gives them a sense of belonging.
  1. Full attention. Be present. Turn off your phone, the TV and all electronics and listen to them, especially at mealtimes and bedtime. Removing distractions lets them know they’re special and there’s no need to compete for your attention.
  1. Time. Spend quality family time together. Take the whole family to pick out a Christmas tree or to see a ballgame or holiday concert. Take each child on mom and dad “dates” to create special memories and boost their self-esteem, especially if they’re used to sharing parent time with siblings. Spending quality time together encourages deeper conversations and strengthens the bonds between parent and child.
  1. Love. Saying and showing your kids you love them can help overcome just about any parenting “mistake” you might make. Even when your kids have disappointed, frustrated, angered or disobeyed you, they must know you will always love them.
  1. Affection. Don’t wait for your children to come to you for hugs. Regular physical affection helps strengthen and maintain your emotional connection with kids of any age. When that bond is strong, kids act out less often and know they can come to you for support.
  1. Emotional support. Through good and bad times, kids must know you are there for them. According to Dr. Harley Rotbart of Children’s Hospital Colorado, “Parents’ words and actions should facilitate kids’ trust, respect, self-esteem and ultimately, independence.”
  1. Consistency. Parents need to work together to enforce rules. Important values should not be compromised for the sake of convenience or because the kids have worn you down. If parents are no longer together, mom and dad should still try to communicate and work together whenever possible to maintain consistency.
  1. Positive role models. Parents are their kids’ first and most important role models. Kids see plenty of bad behavior in the media. Be the kind of person you want them to become and don’t just give “lip service” to good behavior.
  1. Education. Give your kids the best possible shot for their future by stressing the importance of education. Providing guidance and teaching them life lessons during the time you spend together is also important.

Spending quality time with your kids is the best solution for just about any parenting dilemma. This holiday season and in the New Year, don’t stop with what’s on your child’s wish list. Give them what they really need — the gift of being the best parent you can be.

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The Weight of Grief During the Holiday Season

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By Breanna Dudley-Wissel, MSW, LSW – December 11, 2024 –

Unfortunately, grief is a normal part of life. We all experience grief, whether it is the loss of a job, a divorce or breakup, or the death of a loved one.

Most of the time, grief feels anything but normal and is far from comfortable; quite frankly, it is incredibly overwhelming. These uncomfortable feelings may lead us to suppress the feelings of grief that we need to welcome in to start the grieving process.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What can be misleading about the five stages of grief is that we do not necessarily go through these stages in order. In fact, our grief tends to bounce around the stages. One day we might be in denial, and the next we might be at acceptance and then step back to anger. This is normal.

Grief is not a linear process. It is not something where we work through the steps and then magically feel better. Sure, the heaviness of grief eases up over time, depending on what we have lost, but there will still be days when we feel it very intensely, especially when it comes to grieving a loved one.

Grief can make us feel multiple things, and pretty commonly those feelings can be felt physically throughout the body. The National Institute of Health has recognized that some of these physical symptoms include tightness or heaviness in the chest or throat, nausea or upset stomach, headaches, weakness, tension, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, loss of interest in activities, increased irritability and hostility, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, unexplained anger, and guilt. Usually, physical symptoms occur most intensely at the beginning of the loss, but these feelings can creep back unexpectedly at any time.

Our grief can be triggered by multiple things, some of which include important dates such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays; a certain smell, show, song or article of clothing that reminds you of the person; or a place that holds many memories. We are not always aware of our grief triggers, and that may make it hard for us to recognize why we are feeling a certain way. This can be especially hard for children to identify and explain.

As the holiday season approaches, you and/or your children may find yourselves feeling extra weighed down by grief. Please know that you are not alone. I encourage you to embrace grief in any healthy way you can. Talk about your own grief with your children to open up the space for them to share their own feelings.

Acknowledge and validate their feelings of grief, as well as your own. Share fond memories of the loved one who is no longer with you. Look through photos. Carry on traditions you had with your loved one, but do not be afraid to start new traditions as well.

In the words of Donna Ashworth, “You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember, grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first.”

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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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By Jordyn Bryant, MSW, LSW – December 5, 2024 –

As the saying goes, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” the holiday season. Holidays can bring joy, happiness, and special times. But for so many people, the holidays can bring sad feelings and emotions to the surface, such as grief, loss, and loneliness, as well as mental health concerns and financial concerns.

Regardless of our opinions surrounding the holiday season, it is important to remember to take care of ourselves and our needs during this busy time. According to UC Davis Health, there are many different strategies we can employ to reduce stress during this time.

First, it’s important to enjoy family on our own terms and respect each other’s boundaries. Have a plan in place if you need space from your family, whether it is finding quiet time in another room, having someone you can call for a few minutes to talk, or leaving altogether. It is okay to take time for yourself, even if the belief is that holidays are meant to be spent with others.

Prioritize yourself and your health, mental and physical. Don’t overschedule yourself to please others. Maintain healthy habits. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat the things that are best for your body, and attempt some type of movement every day. Write down what you have planned, decide if it is too much for you, and eliminate some activities if necessary.

When giving gifts during the holiday season, the amount of money spent is not what is important. Give what is within your budget. A small, homemade gift is just as special as the newest, biggest, “must have” item. You can show you care about someone without putting yourself in a tight financial situation. As they say, “It’s the thought that counts.”

Lastly, if you are alone, please reach out to someone. Send a message to a friend or family member for support. If you are in crisis, help is available by calling or texting 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Hotline.

During this time when it’s easy to get overwhelmed by shopping, events, and long to-do lists, let’s prioritize ourselves this holiday season.

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Game Nights Build Family Connection

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By /Beth Thomas, MSW, LSW – November 27, 2024 –

Growing up, and to this day, game nights have been a regular activity my family enjoys. Whether it is our annual “Game Day” in the winter season where we all gather for a day of playing our favorite card and board games or trying out new games together when visiting out-of-town family, playing games has been a fun way for my family to bond.

Reflecting on all the time my family has spent together playing games, I recognize how strongly it impacted our relationships, without actually realizing it in the moment. Along with strengthening relationships, there are countless hidden benefits that come from family game nights.

Focusing on the benefits for children, playing games has a strong influence on a child’s development. Playing games strengthens hand/eye coordination and fine motor skills. Games that are especially good for fine motor skills include Jenga, Operation, and any games that involve rolling dice or shuffling cards.

When a child plays games, there is a high likelihood their grades will improve. Games entailing academic elements can help students prepare for and excel in school. Examples of games with academic elements include Uno, Scrabble, and Chutes and Ladders.

Problem-solving is another developmental skill that can be improved by playing games. Certain games help with the growth of memorization skills as well as assisting children in solving problems on their own. Examples of games that promote problem-solving include Chess, Trouble, Connect 4, and Monopoly.

Additional benefits of game playing include growth in vocabulary and reading skills, building math skills, and encouraging strategic thinking. At school, motivation levels increase, and students have stronger relationships with their peers. Children learn how to take turns, develop patience, practice playing fair, follow rules, and gain the ability to predict outcomes. From watching their family win and lose, children can also develop good sportsmanship.

Playing games has benefits for all members of the household. No matter how young a child is, they are positively impacted by this time together. Two- to three-year-olds have the skills for beginner games or to participate some, and infants enjoy the noise of conversation. Games promote family bonding through communication, working together, and making memories.

For adults, laughing and playing games can reduce stress and lower blood pressure though the release of endorphins. Not only are games an amazing way to help children develop in all aspects of their lives, spending this time together also creates unforgettable memories you will have forever.

While it can be a challenge to add playing games to the mix of work, sports practices, homework, school, and other family commitments, there are creative ways to make time. Some ideas include playing a game right after dinner, scheduling dates in advance, playing games at birthday celebrations, or even working in a short game for ten minutes. Grab a game, your family, and start your own family game night tradition! The benefits will continue for a lifetime.

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Express Gratitude in the Season of Thanksgiving

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By Callie Sanders, MSW, LSW – November 19, 2024 –

Somehow, here we are. November is flying by, and we’re in the season of Thanksgiving.

Being thankful and appreciative for what is received, tangible or intangible, is an example of gratitude. By acknowledging the good things in life, people usually recognize that sources of goodness can exist both inside and outside of themselves. Gratitude helps people connect to something larger and can help them appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new.

Although it may sound silly at first, this mental state grows stronger with time and practice. Studies support an association between well-being and gratitude, resulting in fewer doctor’s visits, taking better care of yourself, and improved relationships.

For example, a study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partners felt more positive towards each other and more comfortable expressing concerns related to their relationship.

Workplace gratitude also comes with great benefits. Showing gratitude in the workplace costs nothing and only requires minimal time. This can lead to employee morale and better performance. Leaders can also create an environment where everyone is responsible for showing gratitude to ensure all are recognized.

In a recent study by the American Psychological Association, researchers found that 93% of employees are motivated to do their best at work and 88% reported being more engaged when they feel valued by their employer. Only 21% of the polled group said they were considering searching for new employment in the upcoming year.  

Another benefit of practicing gratitude at work is “the spillover effect,” which has the power to enrich other aspects of our lives outside of the workplace. With gratitude, many people experience greater satisfaction in life, reduced stress, and a healthier outlook, physically and mentally.

Here are a few simple ways to start cultivating more gratitude.

  1. Write or email a thank-you note. This can help nurture and strengthen relationships with others. You can decide how often to send a note of gratitude. Do not forget to write an expression of gratitude to yourself.
  2. Keep a gratitude journal. This will help boost happiness and better coping for life’s challenges.
  3. Take time to meditate. Practice mindfulness by focusing on what you are grateful for today.
  4. Say a prayer. Prayer can help cultivate gratitude.
  5. Mentally thank someone. Think about someone who has done something nice for you and mentally thank that person.

It’s never too early to start cultivating an attitude of gratitude in your child as well. According to verywellmind.com, teaching children gratitude can help them feel happier, support better social relationships, and improve overall health and well-being. Some strategies may include performing acts of kindness together, modeling gratitude in your own life, and looking for the silver lining to help kids see that something good can come from difficult circumstances.

Life brings many unexpected twists and turns. There’s no better way to tackle that stress and show yourself and others love than by spreading a little gratitude along the way. Make it a daily practice. In the words of Bryan Robles, “Stop thinking of gratitude as a byproduct of your circumstances and start thinking of it as a world view.”

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Dennis Lamey Named 2024 Champion of Youth First

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November 6, 2024

Youth First, Inc. honored community leader and long-time Youth First advocate Dennis Lamey at its 2024 Breakfast of Champions event, presented by German American, on Tuesday, October 29, at Friedman Park Event Center in Newburgh. Lamey received the Dr. William Wooten Champion of Youth First Award.

In addition to recognizing Lamey, the organization celebrated its donors, school partners, and volunteers with over 300 guests in attendance.

Evansville Mayor Stephanie Terry proclaimed October 29, 2024, as “Dennis Lamey, Champion of Youth First Day.”

Lamey is an Evansville native and is a driving force behind Youth First’s growth and development, serving as a long-time advocate and Youth First Board Member. He has contributed to Youth First in every way imaginable over the years, from participating in the Family First program with his wife and sons to leading fundraising efforts, volunteering at events, and serving as Chair of the Youth First Board of Directors. Lamey retired from Norman Backues/CLA as Executive Vice President in 2016. Over the years, Lamey has also generously contributed his time, talent, and treasure to a wide range of philanthropic causes in Evansville. 

Lamey and his wife, Catherine, have been married for over 30 years and have two sons, Patrick and Robert, and a daughter-in-law, Becca.

Breakfast of Champions attendees enjoyed remarks from Ken Hall, Youth First Board Chair-Elect and Operations Readiness Manager, Major Projects, Kaiser Aluminum Warrick; Father Bernie Etienne, Pastor, Holy Rosary Catholic Church; Lindsay Botsch, Market President, German American; Jeff Happe, President, Happe & Sons Construction, Inc.; Charles Cameron, Senior Vice President Strategic Initiatives, First Southern Bank; Joe Suding, Retired Executive, United Fidelity; Mike Blake, Host of Midday with Mike, 14 News WFIE;  Dan Hoefling, Youth First Board Chair and Community Volunteer; Parri O. Black, Youth First President & CEO; Dr. William Wooten, Youth First Founder, as well as Lamey’s wife Catherine and sons, Patrick and Robert. 

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Tips for Helping Children with ADHD

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By Jenny Bouchie, MSW, LSW – November 8, 2024 –

According to Forbes, approximately 5.7 million children are diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It can be frustrating for the child to complete schoolwork and homework, and at times, equally frustrating for adults to help.

However, there are many ways to support a child diagnosed with ADHD academically:

  1. Provide brief and clear directions. Children with ADHD often have trouble with executive functioning skills, such as memory and attention. When directions are brief and clear, it will help the child both remember and maintain their attention. Using visual directions and reminders can be very helpful. Additionally, having the directions in a numerical list, with each specific direction being a sentence or less, may be beneficial. 
  1. Be sensitive to your child’s time management skills. According to The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, a child starts developing these skills around the ages of 3-5 but does not have major development in this area until adolescence and young adulthood. A child with ADHD may struggle beginning assignments, chores, and/or staying on task. Setting a timer is a great way to give children visual and auditory cues. Before setting the timer, make sure to set expectations. For example, “I’m going to set this timer for two minutes. When it goes off, you are going to start your math homework.” There are many timers available for free online. Displaying the timer for the child to see will help them remember what they are supposed to be working on.
  1. Break tasks into smaller chunks. Breaking tasks up into smaller pieces is actually a way to help build a child’s executive functioning skills. Children with ADHD are likely to feel overwhelmed with large assignments or tasks and/or multi-step assignments or tasks. Breaking the task or assignment into smaller pieces at a time will help with feeling in control rather than overwhelmed.
  1. Develop structure and routine. This is critical for all children, particularly for those with ADHD. According to the ADHD Foundation, developing routines helps a child become familiar with what they need to do in class and at home, which further leads to a sense of security. Of course, the earlier routines and structure are introduced, the better. 
  1. Work with your child to develop organizational skills. Many children with ADHD struggle in this area, whether it’s their messy backpack, cluttered desk/work area, or even being prone to losing things. Having a daily schedule available, Post-it notes with reminders, and checklists or to-do lists can all help improve organizational skills. 
  1. Reward positive behaviors. Everyone likes to be noticed when they are doing something good. Children with ADHD tend to struggle with self-esteem, so pointing out a positive is a great self-esteem booster. According to The ADHD Foundation, positive praise actually helps with improving focus. Setting up a reward chart is another way to encourage positive behaviors. Collaborate with the child about realistic goals and what their reward will be once earned. 

Children with ADHD can be very successful in the classroom and at home. Learning what helps the child complete tasks with the greatest success goes a long way toward developing positive self-esteem. For more information regarding how to support a child with ADHD, please reach out to your school’s Youth First Mental Health Professional.

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Hidden Disabilities – More than Meets the Eye

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By Molly Johnson, MSW, LSW – October 30, 2024 –

Have you ever heard any of the following?  “They don’t look disabled to me.”  “Doesn’t seem to me that they need handicap parking. They walk just fine.” “I think they just wanted to bring their pet along. They seem perfectly healthy and have no need for a service animal.”

When most people think of a person with a disability, they most often think of physical disabilities. While physical disabilities are debilitating, hidden disabilities are often forgotten. Unfortunately, individuals with hidden disabilities are often made to feel as though they are faking or trying to get special accommodations without need.

According to Hidden Disabilities Association, a hidden or invisible disability is a “physical, mental, or neurological condition that is not visible from the outside, yet can limit or challenge a person’s movements, senses, or activities.”

Many disabilities are not easy to detect. Examples of hidden disabilities include mental illness, lupus, autism, asthma, cancer, arthritis, learning disabilities, and many more.

These disabilities are not immediately obvious to others. For some people, this can make it difficult to believe that someone with a “non-visible” disability needs extra help and support.

Every individual – with or without disabilities – is unique. It is important to teach children to be kind to others, as we do not know what an individual is experiencing. Following are some suggestions on how to teach kindness and acceptance:

  1. As the adult, look for opportunities to model kindness and acceptance of others. Children learn by watching. Watching an adult take time to be caring toward another person increases the likelihood the child will replicate this behavior.
  2. Involve the child in creating ideas to be kind to others. Brainstorm ideas how to be kind at school, to siblings, to church members, and to themselves.
  3. Encourage children to ask questions about differences. Doing so allows them to learn about people that may not be exactly like them. When students understand why others are different, it makes it easier to accept their differences.

No two people with a disability will look alike. It is important to teach students to treat others with kindness and to stand up for people that need assistance. Just because a disability does not meet the eye does not mean it fails to exist.

If you would like additional information or have a child in need of support due to a hidden (or visible) disability, please reach out to the Youth First Mental Health Professional in your child’s school. To find out if your school has a Youth First Mental Health Professional, please use this link: https://youthfirstinc.org/mentalhealthprofessional

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Developing Your Child’s Attention Span

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By Megan Shake, MSW, LCSW – October 23, 2024 –

How long is your child’s attention span? Many people assume children’s attention spans should be longer than they actually are. You might be surprised to learn that the average is generally two minutes per year of age.

So, if your child is five years old, their attention span is about 10 minutes. Like anything else a child learns, it takes time and practice to help develop their attention span. It is not something that can be forced or happen overnight.

As parents and caregivers, we may become frustrated when a child won’t sit still or focus on a task for a period of time, but it is important to remember where the child’s development stands. Consider if their inattention is developmentally typical or not. Sometimes our expectations for children’s attention spans are high, but their brains may not be ready yet. After all, the brain is not fully developed until the age of 25 or even 30, so it is no surprise that they have a lot of room for growth.

The following are ways to help support the development of your child’s attention span.

Celebrate small wins each time your child stays on task. Positive words and encouragement go a long way to motivate a child. Provide activities that encourage thinking, such as a puzzle, memory game, or activity book.


It’s important to note that screen time does not help develop attention spans. It may seem like it does since the child is sitting still, but it doesn’t provide sufficient practice, as the brain isn’t doing the work during this time. In fact, it may have the opposite effect. Some studies show that increased screen time has even been linked to reduced attention spans and concentration skills.


Other helpful ideas include breaking larger tasks into smaller ones, keeping instructions clear and simple, removing distractions, and following consistent routines. Also remember that context is a big factor. Consider situational and physical aspects such as how the child is feeling, what time of day it is, if it is a noisy environment, if they are hungry, tired, and so forth.


Additionally, providing breaks is extremely important. Breaks help kids rest, regulate, reset, and refocus their attention. While there are countless brain break ideas out there, some include various breathing techniques, guided meditations, yoga, stretching, playing, and going outside. 


Finally, if you feel that your child is struggling with their attention span beyond what you feel you can support with these strategies or beyond what is typical for their age, don’t be afraid to reach out to your child’s doctor or others to seek professional help.

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