Tag Archive for: Social Worker Articles

Helping Your High Schooler Manage Stress

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By Valorie Dassel, MSW, LCSW, LCAC – February 12, 2025 –

High school is a pivotal time in a teenager’s life, marked by academic pressures, social challenges, and the transition to adulthood. For many high schoolers, the stress associated with this period can be overwhelming. As a parent or guardian, it’s crucial to support your child in managing this stress effectively.

Here are some practical strategies to help your high schooler navigate this demanding time.

The foundation of stress management is open and honest communication. Encourage your child to express their feelings and concerns. Create an environment where they feel safe discussing their worries without fear of judgment. Regularly check in with your teenager about their school life, social interactions, and overall well-being. By maintaining a dialogue, you can better understand their sources of stress and provide tailored support.

Help your child develop a balanced schedule that includes time for studying, extracurricular activities, and relaxation. A consistent routine can help them manage their time effectively, reduce procrastination, and avoid last-minute cramming. Additionally, encourage them to establish healthy sleep habits, as adequate rest is crucial for stress management and overall well-being.

Introduce your child to various coping strategies and encourage them to find what works best for them. Techniques such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and meditation can help manage anxiety and improve focus. Encouraging physical activity is also a helpful strategy. By incorporating these techniques into their routine, they can develop effective tools for managing stress on their own.

Help your teen develop a positive mindset by focusing on their strengths and accomplishments. Encourage them to set realistic goals and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can boost their self-esteem and motivation, which can be especially helpful during challenging times. Teach them to view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than failures.

Participation in extracurricular activities can provide a valuable outlet for stress. Whether it’s a sport, music, or a club, these activities offer a break from academic pressures and can help your teenager develop new skills and interests. They also provide opportunities for social interaction and personal growth, which can be beneficial for emotional well-being.

Finally, be a role model for managing stress. Demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms and maintain a balanced lifestyle. Your behavior can influence your child’s approach to handling stress. Show them how you manage your own stress in a constructive manner, and they may be more likely to adopt similar strategies.

Helping your high schooler manage stress involves a combination of open communication, routine establishment, healthy habits, stress-reduction techniques, positive reinforcement, extracurricular involvement, and role modeling. By providing your child with these tools and a supportive environment, you can help them navigate the challenges of high school with greater resilience and confidence.

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Friendships Can Transform Lives

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By Holly Branam, MSW, LCSW – February 6, 2025 –

Many years ago, I was working with a student who was challenged in several areas. He was anxious, having trouble focusing on schoolwork, and was disruptive and attention seeking in the classroom.

Additionally, his parents noted he would become easily dysregulated at home and eventually did not want to come to school. As I worked with this student, we focused on each of these areas. We practiced skills to help him focus and techniques to help with anxiety. We also discussed appropriate ways to seek attention from others and tried both rewards and consequence-based systems to improve behavior.

I also met with the family and provided education, and they made changes in the home environment. After a year, and with support coming from every direction, the student had made only small improvements, until one day things abruptly changed. Suddenly, the student was not acting out in the classroom. He was engaged in classwork, wanted to come to school, and most importantly, he was smiling and happy.

What had changed? I knew I had not said or done anything profound and there had not been a sudden shift in medication. The answer was incredibly simple and tremendously eye opening. The student had made a friend!

Since then, I have watched this remarkable transformation happen again and again. Students struggling with a wide range of challenges from relative shyness to more severe behavioral concerns have all benefited greatly from the impact of having one good friend. I do not mean to imply that friendship is the cure for all the problems that children face, but research has shown that friendship can positively affect a child’s self-esteem and social skills while also decreasing stress and anxiety.

Friendships help children feel more connected, confident, and optimistic about the world around them. For some children it changes their perspective; for others it changes their need to seek attention in inappropriate ways; and for others it gives them a source of joy that was lacking in their lives. Together these things lead to better overall mental health for all children.

Friendship provides emotional support and teaches kids empathy and compassion. It also helps them develop some key social skills, including effective communication, how to handle and resolve conflict, cooperate in a group, and show respect to others. Friendship gives children a sense of belonging and helps them develop their sense of identity. Healthy friendships provide a sense of security and self-worth and will help kids develop more resilience for the inevitable challenges of life. It is not the quantity of friends they have that is important, but the quality of key friendships that will have the most impact on their lives.

But making friends is not always easy for kids, and as parents and professionals we want to help foster these relationships in whatever way we can.

The first step I always recommend is open lines of communication both with your children and other adults that support them in their lives. Ask your child about their friendships and truly listen. If you are concerned, ask their teacher if they have noticed the child is challenged in this area. Find out if there is a child that they would like to develop a better friendship with and coordinate with their parents for a playdate. Meet with the parent and child in a park or somewhere where the children can play as you get to know the parents better.

Find out what your child’s current interests are and look for ways to engage them in that area, where they can meet other kids with similar interests. Practice friendship skills with your child by teaching them how to listen, share, and compromise. Be actively involved in their lives so that you can help them show kindness, respect and compassion to others.

Most importantly, be available for your child. As they develop new friendships there will undoubtedly be difficulties along the way, and your child will need a trusted adult to help them navigate new and challenging situations. Friendships can play a vital role in the development and happiness of a child, and your support can help them find success in this area.

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Becoming a Tuned In Parent

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By Jayme Waddell, MSW, LSW – January 29, 2025 –

Have you ever asked your child what they were thinking, only to get the response, “I don’t know?”

As frustrating as that answer is, it is probably true! The areas of the brain that handle planning and impulse control do not completely mature until about age 25. Therefore, while adults may see an unsafe behavior and avoid it, adolescents can’t always recognize the risk.

Without that impulse control, children are more likely to make quick decisions without thinking through the consequences. This is especially true when they see the behavior as something their peers or others on social media or video games are doing.

Staying connected with your child, knowing who and what they are involved with, and staying up to date about adolescent behavior trends will help you recognize signs your child may be engaging in something unsafe. Below are some tips to keep you “in the know” with your child.

  • Talk openly, talk often, and start now.

If you start talking with, and (most importantly) listening to, your child about things like peer relationships, substances, and personal safety at a young age, your child will know you are open to hearing what they have to say. Be careful that your words do not come across as a lecture. Instead, use open-ended questions to allow your child to talk freely. Remind your child it is safe for them to come to you about any topic.

  • Have clear family values.

What is important to you as a family? Does your child know what these values are? Make sure you are modeling family values and not just preaching them. Do not drink and drive, practice a positive online presence, and treat others with respect and kindness.

  • Have clear rules and consequences.

If you wait for a situation to arise to put rules and consequences in place, you are waiting too long. Work with your child to clearly define rules and consequences for breaking them. This encourages your child to follow them. Take time to redefine these with your child as they mature and are ready for more responsibility.

  • Monitor your child’s social interactions.

This applies to interactions both in person and online. Know who your child is spending physical time with and who the parents are. Take time to monitor your child’s social media, gaming, and texting interactions, as this is where some of the riskiest behaviors can occur. There are so many apps available to help in these areas. Make it an expectation that you are aware of these things.

  • Be a safety net when it comes to peer pressure.

If your child feels peer pressure to do risky things or is placed in an unsafe situation, help them think of ways to opt out. Develop a code word your child can text you that lets you know they need to be picked up immediately. Let them blame you for not being able to go somewhere they do not feel comfortable. Help your child come up with creative ways to respond when pressured.

  • Be a constant presence throughout the years.

We are sometimes fooled into thinking our teenagers no longer need us, a message that can be reinforced by their behavior. However, teens often need us even more as they navigate the world and are faced with more opportunities. Continue to check in, stay involved, and stay available throughout high school and beyond.


Adolescence is a time of exploration. Our children are trying to discover who they are, what group they belong to, what they like and do not like. Following these tips can help you be more tuned in to your child’s behavior and increase your success as a parent.

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Effective Communication with Your Teen

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By Staci Chambers, MSW, LSW – January 23, 2024 –

For parents and caregivers, it’s often challenging to find a balance between keeping the door open for communication with our children and being overbearing. Fostering a compassionate, protective, and comfortable relationship with our kids is the key to maintaining that positive bond that allows us to communicate effectively with them. 

The following are some tips to help establish this type of relationship with your adolescent or teen.

Providing love and support establishes the foundation of a healthy relationship with your child to keep the lines of communication open. As we all know, ways of showing love and support vary from person to person. However, consistent expressions of love, care, and concern demonstrate a deep bond and unconditional love toward your child.

Taking interest in their activities can help the bond with your child grow. Taking time to truly check in with your child about their latest goals, accomplishments and their personal interests is a way to show care and connection.

Consistent communication is quite possibly the most imperative component of connecting with your child. Opening doors for communication with frequent check-ins as part of your daily routine can help encourage the line of communication to remain open. Consider finding time in your family’s daily schedule to engage in these conversations to stay up to date with your child.

Dinner time, car rides to and from school, a phone call when they get home from school, etc. are examples of easy ways to consistently check in and have these conversations with your children.

A willingness to be open with your child about your strengths and challenges can also help establish a level of comfort with communication. Helping our children learn alongside us can be beneficial for both parent and child.

Maintaining clear rules and boundaries with your child can help set them up for success. Allowing them to take part in establishing some of these expectations and answering questions about why certain rules are set in place helps encourage children to follow established rules.

Give grace when grace is needed. Understand that children are going to make mistakes and staying consistent in your responses and follow through can be key. Non-judgmental and minimal reactive responses can help encourage your child to be more open and willing to share. Responses that communicate support and willingness to help resolve an issue encourage children to open up more to their parents with positives and when challenges arise.

Finding ways to effectively support, encourage, and protect our children will always be a challenging task for parents. Understanding that there is no “one size fits all” approach to parenting is key.

Taking the time to communicate regularly and understand your child for who they are is the best way to work towards protecting your child. Utilizing outside resources may also be necessary and helpful to protect your child. Be open to suggestions from professionals in the community and schools to help improve your communication with your child.

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Winter Wellness: How to Encourage Physical Play in the Colder Months

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By Katie Cox, MSW – January 15, 2025 –

As the temperature drops and the days get shorter, it’s tempting to avoid physical activity and stay cozy indoors. But cold weather doesn’t have to mean the end of active playtime for children.

In fact, winter presents opportunities for unique, creative ways to encourage and facilitate movement for children. Whether they are bundled up outside or busting out their best dance moves indoors, physical activity can be fun while still making a positive impact on their health. Encouraging physical activity is not only important for physical health, but it also helps to boost mood, support social and emotional wellbeing, and keep energy levels steady.

In this article we will explore exciting ideas and strategies to make sure your child stays active, engaged, and healthy all winter long!

Outdoor Adventures: Embracing the Winter Weather

While temperatures may be chilly, winter also brings a host of exciting outdoor activities that are impossible to replicate in warmer months. Outdoor play in the winter boosts vitamin D levels, strengthens the immune system, and invites children to use problem solving to explore the different conditions. Your children may enjoy playing in the snow, building snowmen, sledding, or having a classic snowball fight. These are all free activities that will not only keep your child moving but incorporate all members of the family, allowing extra time for bonding.

Indoor Activities: Staying Active When it is Just Too Cold Outdoors

When the temperatures are just too frigid for outdoor play, here are some ideas for keeping children active indoors. Dance parties are an engaging way to keep children moving. YouTube can be a great resource for this type of activity with channels such as GoNoodle and Danny Go. Another indoor option is creating obstacle courses using furniture, pillows, and blankets to create tunnels, balance beams, and jump stations for your child to race through. You can turn this activity into a challenge by using a timer to see how fast they can go.

Tips and Tricks to Encourage Engagement

The key to encouraging physical activity for children is to make it fun and engaging. They are more likely to be engaged if they are truly having fun. Some ways to make activities more engaging are to set up challenges or create goals for play. Children love to “win” and complete challenges. Some examples include challenging them to complete a certain number of jumping jacks or cartwheels or to hop on one foot for one minute. Getting the entire family involved can also boost engagement. When children see parents and siblings joining in the fun, they are more likely to stay motivated and engaged in the activity.

Beyond just burning off extra energy, staying physically active during the winter boosts endorphins, which improves mood, reduces anxiety, and helps fight off the winter blues. Physical activity has also been linked to improved focus, memory, and cognitive functioning, which can boost academic performance.

Winter doesn’t have to be a season of hibernation for children. With a little creativity and planning, physical activities can help children thrive. Whether you are embracing the cold outdoors or keeping warm inside, the winter months offer plenty of opportunities to stay active, healthy, and happy. Let’s bundle up, get moving, and make this winter your most active one yet!

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The Negative Impact of Social Media and Electronics Use

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By Audrey Bowlds, MSW, LSW – January 8, 2025 –

It is no secret that access to technology has grown exponentially in the last decade. The internet holds a vast amount of knowledge on many different topics, and technology has invaded every aspect of life.

While advancements in technology can be valuable to us, electronics can also be harmful to adults and children. We use technology when playing video games, video chatting with others, watching videos and movies, researching, calculating the tip at a restaurant, setting an alarm, and using the GPS app for a road trip. Children as young as preschool age are using iPads and laptops.

So, what do parents need to be aware of?

Social media can be a way for people to interact with each other in creative ways. People can also use social media as a platform to spread awareness on a topic they feel passionate about or educate and exchange knowledge with one another. Social media can also be used to spread awareness about mental health and what resources are available for those who are struggling or looking for help.

However, studies have also shown that social media can cause mental health issues, especially in children and young adults. The danger of being exposed to content that is not age appropriate combined with the negative impact of social media can cause addiction, depression, cyberbullying, self-esteem issues, and social isolation. According to the National Institutes of Health, social media and excessive screen usage can cause mood changes, trouble sleeping, physical changes in overall brain function, and “tuning out” when having conversations with others.

Research tells us how harmful technology and social media can be for a child’s growing brain. It is important to be aware of your child’s screen time and what they are using it for. Setting a screen time schedule for your child can be difficult at first, but it will be worth it for their mental health and brain development in the future.

A screen time schedule includes setting limits on how long, and when, your child can use their device. You can use technology for this with a parental control app to help monitor your child’s screen time. Encourage your child to do other activities outside of electronics, such as social interaction, hobbies, physical play, relaxing or even napping.

Creating tech-free zones around the house that your child knows are “technology free” can be a tremendous help in cutting down their electronics usage. Most importantly, stay consistent with a screen time schedule if you decide to implement it. Consistency is key with any new routine presented to a child. Show them you are consistent and eventually they will be too.

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Helping Kids Manage Big Emotions

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By Hannah Smith-Quirey, MSW, LCSW – December 23, 2024 –

Disappointment, failure, pain, and stress are normal parts of life. But as parents, it is difficult to watch our kids go through tough moments without becoming stressed ourselves or jumping in to fix things.

Co-regulation is connecting with our kids to help them remain calm, manage distress, and learn effective and healthy ways to manage emotions. Parents have to first understand their own emotions and obstacles in regulating their emotions. We can share our calm, and we can also share our own distress.

Self-regulation consists of many skills. These include being able to identify and communicate emotions, empathy (seeing things from another’s perspective), social skills, the ability to pay attention and focus, self-soothing, problem solving, flexibility, time management, and setting goals.

Self-regulation is developed through a nurturing and warm relationship with the child, where boundaries and structure are present. Routines and consistency are essential. Kids learn to regulate emotions in an environment where the consequences and expectations are clear.

There are many self-soothing regulation activities that kids can practice. Some examples include breathing exercises, playing with fidgets or squeezing a stress ball, exercise, imagining a favorite place, listening to calming music, and completing mindfulness activities.

Dysregulation occurs when someone is not able to handle stressors. There are several things that can trigger dysregulation in kids, such as change in routine, increased sugar or junk food, not getting enough sleep, lack of exercise, new situations with other kids or unfamiliar people/environments, certain smells, bright lights, and loud environments.

Signs that a child is experiencing dysregulation include arguing, increased sleepiness, impulsivity, mood swings, using angry words/behavior, and a large amount of difficulty doing typical/simple things. Other signs of dysregulation: low frustration tolerance, inattention, difficulty listening, having a hard time remaining or sitting still, difficulty getting along with peers, trouble with simple problem solving, and inability to separate from electronics.

When trying to help our kids regulate their emotions it is important to be calm and validate your child’s feelings. Important things to remember include what causes your child to feel stressed, your child’s ability to express/communicate their feelings, and what self-regulation skills your child may already know and use.

Self-regulation is being able to manage feelings and respond to what our bodies need in any given situation. You are the greatest example for your child and can practice self-regulation in many ways. You can listen to calm music when feeling stressed or upbeat music if you are feeling down. Remember to eat healthy foods and get plenty of rest. Deep breathing practice can help decrease stress, and don’t forget that laughter is some of the best medicine.

Pause and think before responding or acting to be present in the moment. Try to name and validate your emotions, but don’t ruminate or judge yourself. You can always reassess new and better ways of handling situations, because of course we are ALL always a work in progress.

The following are ideas for helping your child regulate their emotions: Remain calm, show empathy and validate their emotions. Support your child with positive words and encourage them to use relaxation skills. Life can be very busy and chaotic, so try to avoid overloading their schedule and keep them in a routine. Kids are calmer when they know what to expect; this is why consistency and structure are key. Prioritize sleep, healthy foods, and regular activity for your child.

Self-regulation takes time to learn; remember to be patient with your child and yourself. Make sure you are working on your own emotional regulation and self-care. Practice calming techniques with your child in the calm moments, not just the heightened moments. You’ve got this!

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What Kids Really Need this Holiday Season

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By Jana Pritchett – December 18, 2024 –

The holidays are here, and kids everywhere are hoping to be on Santa’s good list. Popular toys like AI robots and flying orb balls are on many kids’ wish lists, as are classics such as bikes, LEGO sets, and Barbie.

We all hope to give our children the presents they want, but what do our kids really need from adults this holiday season? What other gifts can mom, dad or grandparents provide to help them become happy, healthy, and successful adults?

Here is my list of the essentials:

  1. Security and stability. Kids need the basics: food, shelter, clothing, medical care and protection. In addition, a stable home and family environment make them feel safe, and being part of a family gives them a sense of belonging.
  1. Full attention. Be present. Turn off your phone, the TV and all electronics and listen to them, especially at mealtimes and bedtime. Removing distractions lets them know they’re special and there’s no need to compete for your attention.
  1. Time. Spend quality family time together. Take the whole family to pick out a Christmas tree or to see a ballgame or holiday concert. Take each child on mom and dad “dates” to create special memories and boost their self-esteem, especially if they’re used to sharing parent time with siblings. Spending quality time together encourages deeper conversations and strengthens the bonds between parent and child.
  1. Love. Saying and showing your kids you love them can help overcome just about any parenting “mistake” you might make. Even when your kids have disappointed, frustrated, angered or disobeyed you, they must know you will always love them.
  1. Affection. Don’t wait for your children to come to you for hugs. Regular physical affection helps strengthen and maintain your emotional connection with kids of any age. When that bond is strong, kids act out less often and know they can come to you for support.
  1. Emotional support. Through good and bad times, kids must know you are there for them. According to Dr. Harley Rotbart of Children’s Hospital Colorado, “Parents’ words and actions should facilitate kids’ trust, respect, self-esteem and ultimately, independence.”
  1. Consistency. Parents need to work together to enforce rules. Important values should not be compromised for the sake of convenience or because the kids have worn you down. If parents are no longer together, mom and dad should still try to communicate and work together whenever possible to maintain consistency.
  1. Positive role models. Parents are their kids’ first and most important role models. Kids see plenty of bad behavior in the media. Be the kind of person you want them to become and don’t just give “lip service” to good behavior.
  1. Education. Give your kids the best possible shot for their future by stressing the importance of education. Providing guidance and teaching them life lessons during the time you spend together is also important.

Spending quality time with your kids is the best solution for just about any parenting dilemma. This holiday season and in the New Year, don’t stop with what’s on your child’s wish list. Give them what they really need — the gift of being the best parent you can be.

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The Weight of Grief During the Holiday Season

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By Breanna Dudley-Wissel, MSW, LSW – December 11, 2024 –

Unfortunately, grief is a normal part of life. We all experience grief, whether it is the loss of a job, a divorce or breakup, or the death of a loved one.

Most of the time, grief feels anything but normal and is far from comfortable; quite frankly, it is incredibly overwhelming. These uncomfortable feelings may lead us to suppress the feelings of grief that we need to welcome in to start the grieving process.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What can be misleading about the five stages of grief is that we do not necessarily go through these stages in order. In fact, our grief tends to bounce around the stages. One day we might be in denial, and the next we might be at acceptance and then step back to anger. This is normal.

Grief is not a linear process. It is not something where we work through the steps and then magically feel better. Sure, the heaviness of grief eases up over time, depending on what we have lost, but there will still be days when we feel it very intensely, especially when it comes to grieving a loved one.

Grief can make us feel multiple things, and pretty commonly those feelings can be felt physically throughout the body. The National Institute of Health has recognized that some of these physical symptoms include tightness or heaviness in the chest or throat, nausea or upset stomach, headaches, weakness, tension, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, loss of interest in activities, increased irritability and hostility, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, unexplained anger, and guilt. Usually, physical symptoms occur most intensely at the beginning of the loss, but these feelings can creep back unexpectedly at any time.

Our grief can be triggered by multiple things, some of which include important dates such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays; a certain smell, show, song or article of clothing that reminds you of the person; or a place that holds many memories. We are not always aware of our grief triggers, and that may make it hard for us to recognize why we are feeling a certain way. This can be especially hard for children to identify and explain.

As the holiday season approaches, you and/or your children may find yourselves feeling extra weighed down by grief. Please know that you are not alone. I encourage you to embrace grief in any healthy way you can. Talk about your own grief with your children to open up the space for them to share their own feelings.

Acknowledge and validate their feelings of grief, as well as your own. Share fond memories of the loved one who is no longer with you. Look through photos. Carry on traditions you had with your loved one, but do not be afraid to start new traditions as well.

In the words of Donna Ashworth, “You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember, grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first.”

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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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By Jordyn Bryant, MSW, LSW – December 5, 2024 –

As the saying goes, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” the holiday season. Holidays can bring joy, happiness, and special times. But for so many people, the holidays can bring sad feelings and emotions to the surface, such as grief, loss, and loneliness, as well as mental health concerns and financial concerns.

Regardless of our opinions surrounding the holiday season, it is important to remember to take care of ourselves and our needs during this busy time. According to UC Davis Health, there are many different strategies we can employ to reduce stress during this time.

First, it’s important to enjoy family on our own terms and respect each other’s boundaries. Have a plan in place if you need space from your family, whether it is finding quiet time in another room, having someone you can call for a few minutes to talk, or leaving altogether. It is okay to take time for yourself, even if the belief is that holidays are meant to be spent with others.

Prioritize yourself and your health, mental and physical. Don’t overschedule yourself to please others. Maintain healthy habits. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat the things that are best for your body, and attempt some type of movement every day. Write down what you have planned, decide if it is too much for you, and eliminate some activities if necessary.

When giving gifts during the holiday season, the amount of money spent is not what is important. Give what is within your budget. A small, homemade gift is just as special as the newest, biggest, “must have” item. You can show you care about someone without putting yourself in a tight financial situation. As they say, “It’s the thought that counts.”

Lastly, if you are alone, please reach out to someone. Send a message to a friend or family member for support. If you are in crisis, help is available by calling or texting 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Hotline.

During this time when it’s easy to get overwhelmed by shopping, events, and long to-do lists, let’s prioritize ourselves this holiday season.

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